Chapter 9

"Ah! Fuck! Fuck my asshole! Fucker! Fuck me! Fuck my ass!"

Dad had my girlfriend tied face down to the king-sized bed with a pillow bunched up under her hips and tummy. He knelt behind her, drilling Wendy's butt with his cock while she screamed obscenities. My mom sat in a chair, one of those fancy antique ones, with her legs spread wide and her knees hooked over the arms. She had a long, thin dildo, a purple one, and Mom fucked herself with it slowly while her other hand played with her swollen nipples.

I stood in the doorway feeling an odd sense of déjà vu and I won't lie. My cock stiffened in my pants. Wendy looked wild, like a beautiful untamed animal as her lithe body jerked against the neckties holding her spread eagle by the wrists and ankles. Her raven hair whipped through the sultry air and her pink flesh gleamed with sweat and pure arousal. I could smell her like a bitch in heat and the excitement in her voice quickened my heart and shortened my breath.

And Mom, perfectly blonde and so completely calm as she pleasured herself. The contrast between them continued as it did in everything else. They were like fire and ice, my girlfriend and my mother, and yet so alike I often had trouble separating them in my heart. I loved them both and I wanted neither. That's the paradox that dominated everything else in my small world. She looked so serene, my mom, so immaculate in her beauty. I worshipped her like a goddess and it took every ounce of will power I possessed not to announce myself and seek her attention and approval.

But it was my father I'd come looking for; the man who had given me incestuous life in his sister's womb and then, sixteen years later, taken it away for all intents and purposes. I sometimes hated him for what he'd done, for the cruel joke he'd played on me. I felt cursed and I'd almost escaped. I'd known freedom in my heart and felt it under my hands in the form of a girl I could love and trust and believe in. She'd given me something precious that my mother could never offer; a gift that Wendy would never understand. Ginny had given me faith and somehow, before I'd even been born, my father had taken it away from me. He'd planted the seed of my despair in the womb of another woman, and that too seemed a cruel and unnecessary paradox as I slipped away unseen.

Her dad left the house first at precisely 6:11am, I noted mentally, pretending to be a private investigator just because I felt so completely bored. Half an hour later, at 6:46am, I watched Ginny's mother leave. She got in her minivan and then remembered something and had to run back into the house. By 6:50am she was gone and I stopped fooling around and started my car, driving thirty yards and pulling into Ginny's driveway.

"Jimmy?"

"Hi." I smiled nervously as I stood at the kitchen door and for second there I wasn't sure Ginny would let me in.

"My mom just left," she said. "Come in. What happened to you?"

"Huh?" I stepped into the warm kitchen and it smelled like coffee and cinnamon.

"You look kinda ... rumpled." Ginny looked me up and down and she was right.

"I slept in my car," I said, hoping that didn't sound too weird. "You look great."

"I slept in my bed," she teased me and the girl hadn't dressed for school yet.

I'd caught her coming out of the shower and she wore a large bathrobe, a blue one that probably belonged to her step-dad. Her hair was wet and not really combed and her skin damp and pink from the hot water. She smelled like soap, nothing more special than that, but yeah ... Ginny looked pretty great to me.

"Do you want to use the bathroom?" she asked, making it sound like I should and I nodded.

Mostly I wanted to talk to her about what had happened the day before. How we'd fallen in love, made love, and then learned the awful truth that we shared the same father. I didn't bring any of that up though, I didn't know how, and neither did Ginny. At least, not directly.

"Why did you sleep in your car?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, following her up the stairs. "I didn't want to stay at my house. Didn't have anyplace else to go, I guess."

"Oh." She opened a skinny closet near the bathroom door. "Here's a towel. Are you hungry? I can make you something, um..."

"Thanks," I said and my hand touched hers as I took the towel and I honestly didn't know what I felt. My gut hurt and my heart felt ... confused.

"Are you really my brother?" Ginny asked softly, blinking her hazel eyes rapidly and I hadn't realized she'd been crying.

"I don't know," I whispered. "My dad was kinda ... busy. I didn't talk to him."

"My mom showed me pictures."

"What pictures?"

"In her yearbook." Ginny swallowed hard and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her bathrobe. "From high school. They went to school together."

"They should have told us."

"Yeah." She nodded. "I'll make something, um ... breakfast. You must be hungry."

She turned around quickly and probably Ginny just wanted to really cry. She'd been trying to keep it inside and I wanted to grab her and hug her. I wanted to kiss her and tell her it would all be fine. Everything would be okay, but I couldn't. That would be a lie and I'd promised her I wouldn't do that. And maybe she wouldn't want me to, that's what really scared me. What if she never wanted me to touch her again?

"Christ." I looked like hell.

My left eye was black after hockey tryouts the day before. My hair looked greasy and stringy and all over the place. I hadn't slept but a couple hours all night, sitting in my stupid car and feeling miserable. Having bad dreams every time I did fall asleep. My clothes were okay since it's kinda hard to wrinkle jeans and a sweatshirt, but the boy underneath them looked pretty used up.

I took a shower and put my clothes back on. I wanted to brush my teeth, but I wasn't gonna use someone else's toothbrush, so I stole a swig of mouthwash and swished it around. Combed my hair and looked at my watch. That hadn't taken long and I wanted to talk to Ginny. I wanted to know what I felt for her because I didn't know. My emotions were in limbo, like my life had been put on hold until I figured this out, but I knew that no matter what happened, I wouldn't like it.

If I couldn't love her the way I had the day before, if I couldn't hold Ginny and kiss her and make love to her? It would hurt too much. And if I could somehow ignore the fact that she was my sister and cover her body with mine, press my cock inside her womb and join her completely ... That would be worse. I'd be no different than my father and spend the rest of my life ignoring the truth and living a lie. And Ginny. I had to think of her first. Her feelings were more important than mine and seeing her cry because of me was wrong.

I had to leave and I couldn't even say goodbye to her.

"Hey! You need a ride?" I forced myself to smile as I leaned across the passenger seat.

"Yeah!" Kyle smiled back at me and I'd barely caught him waiting for his bus; I could see it coming in my rearview mirror.

He looked normal, meaning Kyle dressed like a boy and wore no makeup or anything. He was still pretty though and didn't say anything at first. He just smiled and sat in the passanger seat, waiting for me to explain why I'd want to give him a ride to school, except...

"Uh ... This isn't the way to school." He giggled and that sound always made me smile.

"Is anybody home at your house?"

"No."

"Okay."

"Why?" he asked reasonably, brushing some brown hair out of his doe eyes and he looked like Kylie in boy clothes. Small and pretty, and even sexy with his impish smile, the boy confused me completely sometimes.

"You're the only one I can talk to," I told her seriously, sitting on Kylie's lavender bed and leaning against the wall.

Kyle had changed quickly as soon as we were inside his house ... her house, I mean, because Kyle didn't live there anymore. He'd disappeared with a giggle into his parents' bedroom and emerged ten minutes later wearing one of those baby-doll nightie things. It looked like satin or something, sheer pink with white lace around the bottom and the sleeves and all that. The front had a bow to keep it closed and hide Kylie's flat tits and from there it fell to mid-thigh and I could see her panties through the gauze.

She knew it too and kept smiling at me, posing the way a girl does and teasing me. Her brown eyes twinkled and Kylie had a pouting smile because her mouth was small and her lips kind of bee-stung, and curling brown hair just reaching her slender shoulders. She probably figured I'd come over so we could skip school and fool around and do fag stuff, but I had to disappoint her. I only wanted someone to talk to and by some strange twist of fate the only person I could trust was Kylie.

"What do you mean?" she wondered, joining me with her back against the headboard.

"I have to talk to someone," I sighed. "I don't know. I'm just ... You know almost everything about me anyway and I know about you, so..."

"So you think you can trust me because I'm a fag?" She rolled her eyes.

"I didn't mean to call you that," I said. "I told you I was sorry, remember?"

"Yeah." She giggled. "I know. I'm just teasing."

"Teasing?" I smiled and shook my head. "You're as bad as Wendy."

"She taught me everything I know." Kylie shrugged and I couldn't tell if she was serious or not.

"So she's like your best friend now?"

"Kinda." she said. "Wendy's been really nice to me. They all have."

"Who?"

"Lisa and Amy," Kylie said, pulling a pillow to her tummy and hugging it with her legs straight and almost touching mine. "I'm a lot happier now and after I get my surgery..."

"What surgery?" I blinked at her. "You're gonna cut off your dick?"

"No! God!" Kylie laughed. "I'm not ready for that yet!"

"Good." I laughed too, and for a second there I'd felt my balls trying to climb into my gut.

"I'm gonna get some boobs next June," Kylie explained. "After school gets out? We're going up to Montreal for a little vacation and there's a clinic that'll do it as long as my parents say it's okay."

"Oh." I nodded, but I didn't really want to think about that kind of surgery either. I'd watched some plastic surgeon guys on the Discovery Channel once and it looked pretty gross.

"I'm gonna have some nice B-cups," she decided, letting go of the pillow and cupping her flat chest. "Not too big or anything, you know. My size. It'll be nice, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "You're gonna be a little hottie, huh?"

"Heh!" Kylie stuck her tongue out at me and I felt my cock starting to wake-up. She'd look awesome with some nice firm tits, no doubt about that.

"What about school though?"

"What about it?" she asked, cocking her head to one side.

"I mean, next year it might be a little weird if you've got boobs."

"Well, I'll be a girl, Jimmy!" Kylie said, like it should have been obvious, even to a dope like me. "After this year, I'll never have to be a boy again."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh!" She giggled again. "Maybe I'll be a cheerleader. What do you think?"

"I think you have to be a little taller for that," I teased her and Kylie made a face at me.

"Wendy said she'd help me," she said with a shrug. "I don't know. I'll just be happy I don't have to pretend anymore, you know?"

"So this, um..." I sorta gestured at her nightie. "It isn't pretend?"

"Of course not," she said. "I haven't been a boy since I was old enough to know the difference."

"Oh." I thought about that. "So like that time we went camping and we slept in the same sleeping bag..."

"In our underwear?" Kylie grinned at me. It had been a small sleeping bag.

"Yeah," I said, feeling my face growing warm. "You were like a girl then?"

"Inside," she said. "I kissed you when you were sleeping, too."

"What?" I stared at her.

"I'm kidding! God!" Kylie giggled and waved a delicate hand at me. "You're too easy."

"I'm just..." I sighed. "Everything is so weird right now."

"Yeah," she agreed. "It is weird, isn't it? My dad won't even look at me hardly."

"That sucks."

"My mom's okay with it though," Kylie said with a smile. "And the twins don't care. They think it's cool they've got a big sister and I've got friends, so ... That just leaves us."

"Us?"

"You and me." She nodded. "I think we're supposed to be together."

"Ummm..." I swallowed hard.

"Like fate," Kylie said with a smile, and she wiggled her pink toes at me. "Don't you feel it sometimes?"

"I'm not sure," I replied slowly.

"I do," she sighed, looking at me through her brown bangs and biting her bottom lip. "That's why you're here right now."

"Why?"

"Fate," Kylie said. "Everything happens for a reason, you know. It isn't just random chance."

"I don't know." I laughed lightly. "It seems pretty random to me sometimes."

"That's just because you don't understand it," she told me. "Everything seems random until you can see the pattern."

"That sounds weird."

"It's true though!" She smiled. "Things happen and it feels like you don't have any choice, but you do."

"I don't know, Kylie," I sighed. "It seems like everyone else is making my choices for me."

"Like what?"

"Like ... I dunno," I said, wondering how much I could really trust her. If Kylie was Wendy's best friend now...

"You can trust me, Jimmy," she said as if reading my mind. "I'm still your friend, you know."

"Yeah, but..." I shook my head and my reluctance had to be obvious.

"Is it about Wendy?"

"Kinda, but ... not really," I said. "I mean, she kinda knows, but ... It's complicated."

"Hmmm..." Kylie frowned. "Maybe you just need to relax a little."

"Relax?" I rolled my eyes at that idea. "I need a big asteroid to hit the earth, that's what I need."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Okay then ... lie down," Kylie told me, scooting her butt off the bed. "Face down. I know what you need."

"What do I need?" I asked with a suspicious grin.

"Just lie down and I'll show you," she said. "But, um ... take off your clothes first."

"What?"

"You have to get naked or it won't work."

"I'm not gonna take off my clothes!" I laughed at her.

"Why?" Kyle wondered with a smile. "Because I'm a girl? Or because you're scared of fags?"

"I'm not scared, I'm just ... not gay."

"Do I look gay to you?" she asked, and I rolled my eyes, knowing she was mocking me.

Kylie had her hands on her narrow hips, pushing them one way with her slender shoulders tilted in the other direction. Her legs were smooth and her arms were graceful, her face so amazingly pretty. She didn't look gay at all, but only because she didn't look anything like a boy. I knew the truth though and I wished I didn't. I probably could have fallen in love with Kylie so easily. I mean, we were already friends and that's half the battle, right?

"No," I admitted with a sigh, kind of a wistful one because ... Well, just because mostly.

"So? Take off your clothes!" she said with another precious giggle, and I didn't know why, but I started pulling my sweatshirt over my head.

"You're not gonna try and, um ... stick anything in my butt," I asked slowly. "Are you?"

"Maybe my finger," Kylie replied with a grin, watching as I pushed my jeans down my legs.

"What?"

"No wonder Wendy likes you so much."

"Why?" I felt pretty confused and just wished Kylie would explain what we were doing.

"You're so gullible!" She laughed. "You're like a completely different person around girls, you know that?"

"I am?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're a lot nicer, Jimmy."

"Nicer?" I had no idea what that meant. "I'm nice all the time."

"Nah." Kylie scrunched up her nose. "You're kind of a jerk when you're with your friends."

"Really?"