Chapter 3: Our growing years

I wanted to tell you more about our family and eventually how my wife and I became farther apart.

We did have three great kids, Kelly, Kim and Kyle. My wife was one of the coolest mothers. Once our kids started school she missed them so much. She got her vending job to help pass the time and made some money, which she donated to the family coffers.

During the summer months she loved having the kids home. She would always be doing things with them. She actually cried when summer was over and the kids headed back to school.

One day we went to a church program with some neighbors of ours. It was a musical program that was aimed at the younger generation. Our kids said they wanted to go to it so we went also. Our neighbors couldn't believe that our kids wanted to sit near us. Most kids got as far away from their parents as possible. Ours invited their friends to come sit near us also. We never pushed the kids to be with us. It was just that they had the cool mother. We had the house that the kids like to come to and hang out at. My wife liked having our kids around and enjoyed having their friends over.

We got the pool when Kelly became a teenager. Our kids had their friends over the house all the time. It was never a surprise to come home and see kids in the pool or out in the back yard on the trampoline. We always made sure that the kids called their parents and let them know where they were at.

When our kids grew up and left home is when Carol starting always getting mad at me. I just wasn't able to do anything right in her mind. No matter what I did or how I did it, it wasn't good enough.

We even went to church at least three times a month. The people at church all thought we had one of the perfect marriages. Carol should have been an actress. In front of others she was like the sweet nice women, but at home she could be the wife from hell sometimes.

It was near that time that she got sick and had the operations. After she recovered she didn't go to girls' night outs as often which in turn meant I didn't get laid near as much.

After Kelly, our oldest, was married and had a child, Carol decided to quit her job and be the full time babysitter for our grandkids. We now have five grandchildren in all and Carol watched them all till they started school. Of course the five grandchildren were all different ages and she never had more than two to watch at once. Wouldn't have made any difference, her kids and grandkids were her life.

Our daughter Kelly has two daughters, our daughter Kim has a boy and a girl and Kyle has a son. All the kids seem to have married good spouses and really seem in love. Time will tell if they end up like their mother. I've seen a little bossiness towards the son-in-laws already. God help them!

I left off previously where Carol had some major operations. A couple she didn't have to have was her breasts lifted and some type of face lift. I went along because she had this thing about getting and looking old. I honestly do have to say she looked ten years younger than she was. To this day she takes care of herself and still looks much younger than she is.

She was getting stomach cramps again and we were worried she was having another bowel obstruction and I took her to the doctor. He told her she needed a partial hysterectomy. I was there for her like I was for all the other operations. I really did worry about her.

I should add that I retired early due to a plant closing. I was fifty eight at the time. It was two months later that she had the hysterectomy. After I brought her home I had to help her with the grandkids. She couldn't do any lifting and they told her not to drive for a while.

Needless to say our sex life, as little as it was, was put on the shelf. I helped her out as best I could but it was never good enough. I was always happy when the kids would stop by. At least I didn't have to listen to her complaining about me.

I waited six months before trying to have sex with her. One night when she had a couple of friends over she had more to drink than usual. That night after everyone left I went in her bedroom.

"Bob, what are you doing in here?"

"I'm going to make love to you. It's been six months and you should be healed by now."

"No Bob, don't! I'm not ready."

I didn't pay any attention to her and lifted her nightgown. She didn't have any panties on. I got between her legs and I press my face against her pussy. She tried to push my head away but wasn't very successful as I kept licking her clit. She was becoming wet. I wasn't sure if it was her juices or my saliva but I could smell her sex.

I licked and did my best to warm her up. I slipped one finger into her and she told me to stop, that it hurt. Needless to say I stopped what I was doing. I didn't want to hurt her. I tried a couple more times to finger her with one finger. It went in really easy but then she said it hurt. She wasn't ready.

That was it for that night. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in any way. I asked her if she told the doctor; she might have a problem. She said she would tell him the next time she saw him but wasn't making any special appointments.

It was six months later before she saw the doctor. We had appointments at the same time and I asked the doctor if she had said anything about pain in her female area. He said she hadn't but he had made her an appointment for a pap test the following week. He would be able to tell from that if there was a problem.

Whenever we've had tests done our doctor always called us with the results within a couple of days. After she had the pap smear the doctor called a couple of days later. She had gone shopping with her sister Dawn when I received the call from the doctor's off. The nurse asked for Carol but I told her she wasn't home.

"Is this Bob, her husband?"

"Yep! It's me. Is this the results from her pap test?" I asked.

"Yes it is, tell her everything is fine and we found no problems."

"I know I shouldn't ask but can she make love again?"

After a little snicker the nurse said, "I can't see any reason why not. Everything is fine with her physically." I had to laugh when she said "good luck" to me with a light laugh.

Well, now I knew she has no physical problems. When she got home I told her the doctor called and said her pap test went well. She didn't say anything but gave me a look that I really didn't like.

Somewhere throughout our later years she liked it better when I wasn't around. My being home all the time aggravated her. I thought once I retired that we could travel and go places we've never been.

I was informed that she didn't care to travel and didn't want to spend our savings just to go on another cruise or to other states. She was happy where she was and would prefer to do things with her kids and grandkids.

I guess me working and earning a living was all she was interested in. The last fifteen years I worked a lot of twelve hour days and even seven days a week to help support us and to help save for our retirement.

She in turn lived her life doing things with our kids and grandchildren. She told me I was always under her feet since I retired. I guess for years she had her way of doing things and now I was interfering with her lifestyle.

She asked me why didn't I find a part-time job to keep myself busy. I knew she really meant something to keep me away from the house. I liked to get up in the morning and take a walk. I always asked her to come along but she said she was to busy cleaning up after me.

I usually made my own breakfast. I would have cereal unless she sometimes would make a breakfast of bacon and eggs or French toast if she was making it for her grandkids.

I always cleaned up my dishes; I learned that a long time ago. We had a dish washer and I rinsed my dishes and put them in the dish washer. I even washed my own clothes. I washed three or four loads every other week. We got into an argument many years ago about her washing clothes so I got pissed and told her not to touch mine. From that day forward I have always washed my own clothes.

Oh, would you believe that she complains if I use the end of the detergent and forget to go down the basement and bring up a new bottle? Of course if she uses it up she tells me to go get a new bottle from the basement, how lazy can I be.

It's these kind of arguments that go on daily. I keep telling her that I'm retired and am happy with what I want to do. I used to tape a lot of old movies on VCR tapes and have been switching them to DVD's. I also buy the TV series so I can watch them when I want to.

She tells me I'm nothing but a couch potato. I sit down after dinner and watch my DVD movies and series. Sometimes she watches them with me but often goes in her bedroom and watches something else.

Needless to say she always says all I watch is porn. I do have some porn tapes that I watch late night in my own bedroom once in awhile. It's about as close as I get to sex in our house. I vowed years ago never to cheat on her again and I kept that promise even though she accuses me of cheating all the time.

We got in another argument and I told her that I have not cheated on her and if I did she would have left long ago. Now she considers me watching any kind of x-rated movie as cheating.

Once she came in my bedroom late at night. She did it on purpose and caught me masturbating. "You perverted asshole!" she yelled at me.

I looked up at her and asked her what was my alternatives? She didn't want anything to do with me. I told her I would never cheat on her and I would gladly give up masturbating if she wanted to make love once in a while. She called me a pervert and closed the door.

Things were getting worse by the week. Around family and friends she was the wonderful mother and grandmother. She would do anything for the family and her friends. It was just when we were home alone that she would do her best to stay away from me.

In the evenings she would sit on the porch and talk to the neighbors. I would turn off my movies and go sit with them. She always told me how anti-social I was. I wasn't but I got tired of sitting on the porch and just listening to her and the neighbors talk.

I would tell a few jokes and she would always say how many times I've told them. She would love to see if she could embarrass me. So after a while I just sat there and listened to the neighborhood gossip.

The guys I called her boyfriends would bring her vegetables. She always told them I wouldn't give her a garden. I actually told her one time in front of them, "If all your boyfriends give you things from their gardens, why should I do all that work?" Everyone laughed but Carol just gave a smile.

Later that night she told me I embarrassed her, that those guys were not her boyfriends. They were men all older then us but all but one that give her goodies was unmarried. I asked her if she would prefer me to call them her men friends and it really pissed her off.

"You asshole! They're both our neighbors and friends, not just mine. Why do you always act like such a jerk?"

"You do know I often sit on the porch by myself when you're in the house and they all come past the house and wave but hardly ever stop unless it's to give you some veggies. If you and I are both out there they stand and talk for a few minutes.