My name is Derek.
My last name is not important. I am a sort of nameless clog in the system that plays by all the rules and seldom if ever takes any risks that would expose me to danger or ridicule. At least that was true until I had my date with a "World Famous" super model.
It was that long awaited day of the anticipated date and I was on my customary journey back home from my 9 to 5 job in the City.
I reached up to the luggage rack to remove my backpack and I felt the sudden little flare up in my lower spine that always signaled my back was about to act up. My recurrent back problem had a habit of taking a turn for the worse at the most inconvenient times.
"Son of a bitch! Please, God, not now."
In just a few short hours, I had a first time blind date with a 25 year old fashion model prominently featured on several magazine covers on every newsstand.
Please don't ask me how I was so fortunate to get a date with a so beautiful a model. I would be forced to admit it was my Mother that had gotten the date for me. I think she was overly concerned that her 30 year old son was doomed to a lifetime of bachelorhood and she would never have the joy of listening to the patter of little grandchildren's feet running about the house.
My Mum's fascination with the many contests in the fashion magazines had led to her winning the "Get a Date for your Son with Alicia Bushworthy, World Famous Model". I was totally turned off by the idea until I saw a photo of the absolutely devastatingly beautiful Model in my Mum's magazine collection.
Right now I had to figure out how to get up the two flights of stairs rising to the surface.
The escalator was conveniently out of service yet another time. Why is it that the faulty escalator is always the up escalator and never the down escalator?
Moving at about quarter speed, I managed to make it home to my handy muscle relaxants. I really should start to carry some with me just in case of a problem. I guess I had an aversion to being seen popping pills at work. It might lead people to think I had an addiction problem and lead to an unwarranted redundancy.
Fortunately, they were not the least bit habit-forming as attested to the fact that I had not taken a single one since an episode about six months prior. I usually took 8 pills a day in doses of 2 pills each 6 hours. Because of the situation, I immediately took 4 pills to get me loosened up and be presentable for the long awaited date. In retrospect, that probably was not a good idea since I would be drinking socially in a few hours.
I should mention there were some side-effects to my medication that ultimately led to unforeseen circumstances on my eagerly awaited date with the beautiful Alicia. A negative side effect was the propensity to nod off at inappropriate moments. Another was the noticeable slurring of speech as the tongue-brain connector slowed down. This had happened to me once when I was giving a prepared presentation on the "Importance of Good Diction". My supervisor was not amused and to this day she is convinced I did it on purpose.
A positive side effect was the prolongation of penis arousal when presented with a visual stimulus. I read the brochures related to the medication very carefully and there was absolutely no mention of this particular side effect. When I called the pharmaceutical firm's public relations number, the girl I spoke to (I believe her name was Francesca) was most helpful up to the point of describing this particular side effect. In point of fact, as soon as I mentioned it, her whole tone changed from being a professional service representative to an amused and disbelieving female with harsh suspicions of male deviousness. After I convinced her that I was indeed "serious", she then started asking me all sort of unrelated questions like "How old are you?", "How long is your thing?", "Are you able to have sexual relations while experiencing this side effect?".
I got the distinct feeling that "Francesca" was not following the prescribed company guideline in pumping me about this issue. My gut feeling was confirmed when she proceeded to give me her "private" cell phone number to contact her with any concerns I had with my arousal problem. She informed me she would be at my "disposal" to alleviate any fears I might have about impaired performance. I still have her number but have hesitated to contact her because I have absolutely no idea what she looks like. Yet, her voice sounded so very sexy when she changed from her professional response mode to a more feminine and seductive tone that I have sorely tempted on more than one occasion.
After a quick lie down of about one hour's duration, I felt restored and the pain was all but gone entirely. I considered taking 2 more pills, but hesitated because the time between doses was so compressed. I put 4 of the pills in a little baggy and placed them in my shirt pocket. I promised myself at the first sign of twinge of "tightening" I would take 2 of them immediately. I did not feel drowsy but then again I had just slept for an hour. I experimented with talking in front of the mirror and my words were quite clear and no sign of slurring at all. I looked inside my jockey shorts and my long thick cock appeared to be acceptably dormant.
It was time to meet the luscious Alicia Bushworthy, super model supreme and dazzle her with my masculine charm.
I was impressed with the Apartment building with its canopied entrance and the uniformed doorman who confirmed my visit to the Bushworthy residence.
The elevator was mirrored on all sides and even the ceiling.
I remembered thinking, "What a great place to have sex". My date for the evening, Alicia, lived on the top floor. The doorman informed me in the lobby that it was the "Penthouse Suite". I had this stupid grin on my face when he told me that because all I could think of was the very lurid girlie magazine that had been of such interest to me in my University days.
There was a knocker on the door. When I inspected it closely, I saw it was a unicorn's head. Strangely, at a distance it looked like rampant cock with a horse attached. I knocked softly at first and then with a little more authority when there was no sound emanating from the apartment.
"Just a minute! My contact fell out. Be right there."
The door was flung open and I saw a very attractive woman with well-endowed breasts and a petite hour-glass frame looking at me with one eye closed.
"You must be Alicia's date. I am her Mum, Jessica Bushworthy. I am so sorry to be in such a fluster. My girlfriends are coming over for our weekly bridge game and my stupid contact just fell out right here by the front door".
The woman appeared far too young to be the mother of a 25 year old model. I would have taken her for mid-thirties at the very most.
.... There is more of this story ...