WARNING: You are about to enter the territory of the imagination, where the rules of real life don't apply.
If you're under-age, turn back now.
If you're not comfortable with different sorts of sexual expression, turn back now.
If your community forbids sexual expression, turn back now.
If you're simply literal-minded and unwilling to suspend your disbelief, turn back now.
If you choose to continue at your own risk, welcome. Enjoy. But please remember that while they hopefully bear some resemblance to people you could encounter in the real world, these are all just characters in a work of fiction. This certainly applies to the narrator of this story, whom you might otherwise be tempted to identify with your humble servant and territorial tour guide: