Chapter 1

When Soko asked me how I got into the business of- what did she call it, a courtesan?- I had no idea how to answer her. It's about like the way that Shiron expected me to remember when my birthday was so he could figure out how old I am. How is anyone supposed to remember that far back to answer those kinds of questions? How the hell am I supposed to remember? I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing right now!

I never traveled as a child, that I can remember. I think I saw the same staterooms, the ones that we were supposed to keep clean or whatever, so many times that there was a small map in my head- I always did have a good head for maps or space or whatever ... What-the-fuck ever. Story of my life. I never paid much attention to anything that wasn't directly spelled out for me, and I tried to do whatever I was told the best I could ... I don't think it was a fear thing like Lanus keeps saying, I really just wanted things to be the way that they were supposed to be so that whoever had told me to do it would be happy.

I think that the first time ... how to explain this ... there was a long time where the whole thing was not a lot different from doing the dishes right or anything like that, it was ... kind of a chore, that you had to learn, that you had to do every so often- but there did come a time when I realized that it was all that I was doing. I didn't work the garden anymore, I didn't go to the stables anymore ... I woke up one morning and couldn't remember the last time that I had left my master's bedchambers. I realized that I hadn't spoken to anyone of my rank except Marge, a kitchen girl, the entire time I had been there.

By Quislivin, that was so long ago ... before Shiron and Soko- before Gradius and the knights and all that bullshit. The first time anything really happened to me, got me out of the house, I guess I was-damn I'm bad with ages-not 20 yet I know- but almost I think ... it's so hard when you don't know when you were born. I wasn't a child anymore, I had come out of that, and I think that people were noticing- I think that after Lanus counted it up, I would have been in my late teens, 18 or 19 or thereabouts- I was young and naive (which is a fancy word that Maury taught me for stupid). Before I would walk around with a decanter pouring drinks or trays of grapes or some such shit. Now people were requesting time alone with me- noticing me and asking about me, telling me how beautiful I was- I actually was really happy.

Of course, that was before I fucked everything up.

Anyway, I thought I must have done something to make me very lucky. I suddenly felt like I wasn't doing anything. I had this strict routine that I was supposed to follow every day, but it became second nature so quickly that I stopped sparing it any thoughts and let my body do it for me. Most of it was crazy hygiene stuff- I got so used to bathing in olive oil that I'll still pay for it, and the rest was a test of skill.

Every morning, my master, whose trade I have never asked about, would awaken me, if I hadn't already woken up, by shoving the entire length of his cock in my ass, as far and fast as he could. The only way that I could avoid the shock was by waking up earlier myself, so that I could spend the time before he awoke trying to get him to cum down my throat. Sometimes it actually worked, from experience I've learned that this is because I'm awesome, and even if it didn't, I had a little lubrication, and he was much more apt to gently slide in, and allow me to prepare. If I slept in, it was always harsh- I tried to train myself to awaken early each morning.

I would help him bath before he headed out, and then I was supposed to clean myself with water, and then soak in this hot-oil bath- by Quizlaven, I LOVE bathhouses. Lanus told me later that he thought those baths were more for my fur then anything else, it took us forever to find out that they were selling it. Well, it took me forever, it took Lanus all of 5 seconds, but he knows far more about commerce then I do. Marge would bring me my breakfast, which was always something far superior to what I used to eat when I had been a mere houseslave- I think it was the same thing that the master and his class ate, fruit, cakes, syrup, juice- I always ate in ways that would make the others jealous (save the kitchen staff, who I always believed were skimming off the top).