Chapter 13

Ruth

I am finding it hard to accept how I acted this evening. It is not that I never stand up for myself. Outside my home and outside my relationship with David I can run things and organise people. But I am naturally submissive. I also found out early on in my teens that moderate pain excites me sexually and I tried to inflict it on myself when I masturbated. No one ever discovered that until I started going out with David because I was afraid they would go on to abuse me. From the first time I met David McFarlane, I wanted him. I threw myself at him and was often humiliated by his rejection of my advances.

I think that he only started going out with me because I had money. I did not care and I gradually revealed to him my needs. He was a naturally dominating character anyway and soon discovered my submissive side

He would order me to suck his cock and I would do it. He was the only man whom I let take me up my arse and it was a short step from there to spanking me when I displeased him. After the first time I let him do this and then responded with wild abandon to his fucking me afterwards, he told me that we needed to talk. He was perfectly frank with me about why he finally gave in to my advances He told me that before he started dating me he thought that I was a flighty scatterbrain with little intellectual depth. He told me that he knew I was smitten with him and he saw the chance of a union which would bring with it the capital he needed to advance his business plans. Since then, however, he said that he had discovered that I was a nice person with a deep concern for others. I also had a good brain was very sexy and had lot more to offer than just money.

That night he told me had confirmed his suspicions, that I was sexually submissive and was turned on by pain. He confessed that spanking me had turned him on and that my submissiveness and acceptance of his sexual appetites thrilled him. As a result he had come to love me as well as desire me. He went on to make it clear that he did not want ever to abuse me and do things that would seriously offend and degrade me. If I wished to continue the relationship and wanted to explore my needs then he would give me a degree of control by letting me have three words which would tell him whether or not to continue doing what he wanted to do or whether I wanted him to stop.

If I told him something was green then he knew he could do that to me or make me do it whenever he wanted to. If I told him something was amber then I was telling him that I really did not like it very much, but if I he liked doing it, he could do so, but he would know that he should not do it too often. If I really was at the limits of what I could endure or if something made me feel really bad and I did not want it repeated then this was red. If I used the word red he would stop immediately and we would never go down that road again. This way he would use me for his pleasure but never abuse me and it would also let me explore what my limits were without fear of him going too far.

I was impressed by his honesty and believed him when he said he had come to love me. I was also very much in love with him and would probably have put up with a lot of things that would have been regarded as serious abuse just to stay with him. By saying what he said, he removed my fear of that and I agreed that I wanted to continue. In all the years we have been married he has kept his word and he has accepted that my limits are moderate pain but that I am open to him taking me any way he wants me. I am not ashamed of what I am because I have found someone who loves me for what I am. Until we lost our son, I would say that I was a very happy and fulfilled woman whose life was close to being everything she had ever desired and I was certain that my husband felt the same and has always been faithful to me.

Tonight I think, I was more open about a side of me that they had never truly appreciated was there. I am a good organiser and I think because I genuinely like people and care about them, they respond to me and are willing to do things for me. I tend to do this through actions rather than words so that people don't always realise the extent of my concern for them. Tonight I told my daughter and her boyfriend how I felt about them and I am so glad I did for they responded in a way that thrilled me. My daughter told me she loved me and wanted me as a friend and confidant and as she matures, I know that when I need it, she will be that to me. The boy I hope and feel certain will one day be my son in law responded by telling me he already thought of me as a second mother and knowing how he loves his own that almost made me cry.

I know that when I revealed the experience I had gained through my charity work and the powerful connections I had made because of it, I also impressed my husband. It is not that he thinks I am not capable of achieving things. It is just that like a lot of husband he accepts all the things I do as normal and does not realise the amount of work and organisation that goes into just having our home run smoothly or how much my work for others shapes the way people in our community see us. Many people appreciate that we keep so many people employed and have never shifted parts of our business abroad just so that we can increase our profits. They also speak to me about how grateful they are that our firm and that our family get involved in seeking to meet the needs of others in our community. It is not done for this reason, but it really is good P R work.

I think my husband will now see the value of that in a way he has never done before.

Mind you, when I told my daughter that we should get on with making the supper because our men were eager to bed us, I did not tell her that before mine did that, he would make an excuse of my past omissions to give me a good spanking beforehand. That would have shocked her more than my mere mentioning of being bedded, I think. She would have been even more shocked if she had realised that the thought of what awaited me was already making me wet. I was as anxious and horny as my husband undoubtedly would be at this time and he was, I am almost certain, planning what he was going to do to me.

David.

Tonight my wife gave me several surprises. When I first met her she seemed a typical example of the upper echelons of the English Class System. She was wealthy in her own right, and because of the strata of society in which she moved it was more important to go to a finishing School where you learnt to uphold the standards of and the manners of the strata of society to which you belonged rather than any seat of learning. To me with my Scottish Presbyterian family background with reverence for learning and a strong work ethic she was a typical example of what not to be.

She was rich and did not need to pursue a career, seemed to have no aims and idled away her time on rounds of social engagements. She was also what I would call a classic English beauty. She was blonde with a flawless skin and lovely complexion, a lovely figure and delightfully long and shapely legs. A lot of people would have given their eye teeth to have her pursuing them but I was not one of them.

I wanted a mate who would help me to build my industry and share my ideals.

The Scottish clan system was abolished almost three hundred years ago yet its effect lingers in the Scottish Psyche. We still have a strong concept of society and community and while we might admire and encourage individuals to be the best they can be, we strongly resent the idea proclaimed by an individualistic philosophy which proclaims the rights of the individual overrides the rights and needs of the society to which they belong. Possibly that is why some form of socialism has always struck a chord in the hearts of the Scottish nation and provoked their reaction to the rampant individualism of Margaret Thatcher. Her proclamation of that kind of individualism virtually destroyed the Tory party in Scotland.

To me, though a second generation Englishman, something of that lingers on in my heart and mind. My father saw business as a way of providing for his family and was conscious of the need to show concern for those who helped him make his fortune. He drummed into me that we were not better than the people who worked for us but just luckier and perhaps brighter than a great many of them. So we had a duty of care towards them not in any paternalistic sense, but because we were engaged in the joint enterprise of providing for our families and creating a community that was worth living in. I often wonder if he was seeking to live up to our Clan Motto, "This I'll Defend."

I think you can see from this that in many ways the woman who is now my wife seemed poles apart from the kind of mate I wanted to share my life with. That was not a view she shared. For some reason after we met she seemed to have set her heart on me for her husband. I did not take kindly to her pursuit and was often rude to her in the hope she would be deterred. There were times when I thought she must be a masochistic bitch because she kept coming back for more.

I had great ambitions for expanding our business but needed capital to bring my schemes to fruition and when my dad said I was a fool to ignore such a good looking and kind hearted lass who would enable me to achieve my dreams I thought why not. I could always bed her and wed her and spend most of my time creating my dream. What I got was something totally different from what I expected.

I found that she had a genuine concern for people and was much more intelligent than I thought. The family household staff all loved her and came to her with their troubles and she often gave them good advice and even help in times of need. She seemed eager to please me and went out of her way to fall in with my plans. This made it easy for me to fulfil the first of my objectives and I had soon bedded her. At first I thought she was the ideal sexual partner always ready to try something knew until I realised that she was actually just doing what I asked of her. If I said suck my cock she did it. When I told her I wanted to take the only virgin hole she had left, she let me fuck her arse. If I wanted to titty fuck her she let me.

Things came to a head one night when I was watching a documentary on business management I particularly wanted to see. She came into the room and switched the telly off because she wanted to talk to me. I was really annoyed and I told her if she ever did that again without asking my permission she would get her bottom well and truly spanked.

She told me I would not dare and that was a challenge I could not resist. I got up pulled her over the arm of my chair, flipped up her short skirt, pulled her panties down to her knees and did just that. I intended it just to be a demonstration, but when she offered no resistance I got carried away and really whaled her bottom so that she was whimpering when I finished.

I was totally aroused by this time and she did not move but remained bent over the chair. I dropped my pants and fingered her pussy intending get her moist before I entered only to find that she was sopping wet. The spanking had really turned her on. I pushed into her and she orgasmed almost straight away and then she went wild and was urging me to fuck her hard and wanting me to pull on her nipples and squeeze her breasts. Responding to this I would stop and give her bottom a few more spanks and she cried out for me to do it again. When she orgasmed again she screamed and I swear she passed out. It was so intense that in response to her reactions I found myself shooting my seed into her.

I realised then that she was a submissive and that pain turned her on. When she came down from her orgasm I think she was not only embarrassed but scared. I took her in my arms and told her we had to talk. She told me that she had never let any of her other lovers see that side of her because she was scared where it might lead and she was ashamed of being like that. She told me that because I now knew what she was like and because she loved me she would let me do anything I wanted. She said she would never leave me even though she knew I did not love her and probably could never love a woman who behaved like her.

I told her that she was mistaken. I had come to see what a caring, generous and intelligent person she was and I had already fallen in love with her. I also told her I never wanted to hear her saying she was ashamed of being the kind of person she was because I loved that part of her too. I gave her safe words so that she could let me know what she liked and what she was prepared to put up with for my sake and a safe word that meant I had to stop what I was doing because I had taken her a step too far.