John clutches the card in his hand and looks at the store before him. 'Brian's Bimbo Bazaar' – yes, this was definitely the place. The shop was located in a quiet back alley off the main high street, quite easy to miss and deliberately so seeing as the kind of fare it sold. It had taken John six months of tracking down and meeting the right people to get hold of the precious card he held in his hands (the owner won't speak to you without one) and now finally he found himself in front of the self-proclaimed: 'World's Number One Bimbo Emporium'.
Pushing his second, third and fourth thoughts to the back of his mind, John grasped the card tightly and marched through the front door:
"Hello and welcome to Brian's Bimbo Bazaar." Bellowed the odd looking man behind the counter, "The largest and greatest bimbo emporium in the known world. We boast an unrivalled selection of bimbos, sluts and whores for you to choose from, enough to please even the wildest of fantasies and all for just one low, low price."
"Ah good, so I have come to the right place then." Replied John
"You sure have sir. Now what kind of bimbo can I interest you in today?"
"Oh nothing special to start off with, maybe just a regular old slutty cheerleader to get me started."
The man's smile lessened slightly, "A cheerleader you say ... I can check the back but I think we are sold out of cheerleaders today sir. Last one went a few days back, what with it being super bowl season and all sir."
"Ah yes of course." Replied John a little disappointed, "how silly of me to forget. Well then how about a big breasted bouncy schoolgirl instead?"
"I'm afraid they've all been recalled sir."
"Yes sir, problem with their geography skills sir. Kept scoring B plusses in their midterm exams sir. Can't be a bimbo if you are passing geography can you sir? We are still waiting for the replacement schoolgirls as we speak."
"I see." Replied John, "Well, all is not lost I suppose. I assume one normally keeps a healthy number of naughty nurses for times like these."
"We certainly do sir." smiled the man proudly.
"Brilliant! I shall take one of them then."
"What, today sir?"
"Yes. Today. I want the naughtiest, sluttiest, bimboiest nurse you've got. With extra jiggles too."
"But it's Tuesday sir."
"Yes I know it's Tuesday." Replied John, beginning to get impatient, "what has it being Tuesday got to do with anything?"
"Well House was on last night sir. Everyone knows you can't get hold of a naughty nurse the day after House."
"Is that right?"
"'Fraid so sir. It's Hugh Laurie what does it sir."
"So you are the world's leading bimbo emporium..."
"That we are sir,"
"But you have no schoolgirls, cheerleaders or nurses."
"Well that's hardly a fair insinuation sir, you've only been here a few minutes. Has it occurred to you that we may have one of the aforementioned in stock before the day is out?"
"Umm ... No. But we may have had."
John just stood and glared at the man for a few seconds before summoning up the will to continue. "So do you have any bimbos whatsoever in this store right now?"
"Absolutely sir! More bimbos that you could ever imagine."
"Well then how about a sexy Japanese bimbo?"
"Er ... no."
"Office Secretary Bimbo?"
"French Maid with a limp?"
"The flatulent rude bimbo of Puerto Rico?"
"Sold the last one this morning sir."
"The British Columbian Lumberbimbo?"
"Not since the embargo sir?"
"A Norwegian Snow-Bimbo?"
"Ah yes we have one of those in the window sir, the last one too and she's a beauty."
"The girl in the window?"
She's a mannequin." Sighed John.
"Not at all sir, it's just that Nordic Snow-bimbos tend to tense up when they are home sick."
"Tense up! She's made of wood!"
"No no really, she's just missing her homeland. She's er ... pining ... yes pining ... for the fjords sir."
"Pining for the Fjords! She's not pining for anything, she is made of pine you imbecile. She is a dummy."
"Exactly, she's a dummy. Just like every good bimbo should be."
"Not dummy IQ..." John had had enough. "Look, enough of this stupidity, just tell me straight. Is there any real bimbo available anywhere in this store?"
"Yes of course sir."
"That's what I suspected." Replied John, before putting his hand in his pocket, pulling out a gun and shooting a dart into the man's shoulder before he could react.
"Oi! What was that for?" cried the man.