Chapter 19

John was very surprised by more than one thing after having sex with Judith. The fact she had slipped him inside of her was a surprise in its own right and very pleasurable.

The greater surprise was he didn't feel disloyal to Mary. Nor did his guess that Mary was sleeping, or more rationally having sex with Page Kim somewhere within the confines of the Convent, make him feel she was being disloyal to him in any way either.

Judith saw his pensive look as she lifted off and rolled next to him.

"Are you OK?" she asked.

John smiled at her and said, "I just realized something."

"What's that?" she said.

"I'm sure Mary is having sex with Page Kim," He replied.

"Am I right about that?"

With a serious look, Judith said, "I don't know ... Possibly ... How do you feel about that?"

John smiled at her. "Well, we just had sex and I really don't feel bad about it."

Then with a slight laugh in his voice John added, "Not at all!"

He reached over, pulled her to him and with the back of his fingers affectionately stroked her cheek.

After a brief kiss he continued, "Actually, I feel real good about it.

"Just like I'm sure Mary and Page Kim are having sex and that doesn't bother me either. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like it was supposed to happen.

"The real strange thing," he continued, "now I mean Good Strange ... not Bad Strange ... is I feel very deep affection for you.

"I don't think I could have accepted feeling OK having sex with you if I didn't feel that way. I'd even describe it as love, but it's different from what I feel for Mary.

"Does that make sense?"

"Well, yes, it does make sense," Judith began. "I couldn't have had sex with you either if I didn't have feelings for you. You and I just connected. I liked that and in answer to a question you didn't ask, I guess I can say, I love you too.

"But that's not in the marrying way, but in the friend way." Then with a laugh she added, "Friends with benefits!"

John laughed too. Then as she stroked his face then finishing with a pass across his hair, she let a serious look spread across her face. "I have a secret to tell you. I've never told anyone this before but some have guessed it.

"Until tonight I was a virgin."

Pulling back a little, John showed more than surprise. It wasn't disbelief but wonder. He was about to say, "How? How could that be?" but he waited to let her speak.

"When I was twelve, as usual like all girls here at the Convent, I started taking birth control pills. For some girls, it delays their desire to have sex. It was that way with me. I just didn't have the urge.

"Oh, I played around ... you know kissing and petting. I got to know a boy's anatomy. I let them touch me all over but I just didn't want to have intercourse. It wasn't as if I was saving myself for anything. I just wasn't that interested.

"Remember, there are five girls to every boy, so if I wasn't in bed with one every night, no one thought a thing about it. Most girls around here take care of themselves," she added with a smile. "Been there and done that ... A Lot!"

Returning to a little more serious tone, she continued, "I volunteered when I was fourteen to be a surrogate. So, at that point I stopped taking birth control.

"You've probably seen the "V" pin on a few girls' tunics. The "V" pin just means hands off.

"Although, wearing that pin doesn't specifically mean they are Virgins. They could be Virgins but that's not necessarily true.

"For the select few it's a Badge of Courage indicating they are in the Surrogate Program.

"When I turned fourteen, I waited six months before the opportunity came along. It wasn't until after I turned fifteen that one took and I carried to term. I gave birth to a real cute little girl six months ago. It was so sweet holding her and feeling her suckle."

Judith's eyes were starting to get moist thinking about her baby and as a tear formed, John picked it up with the tip of his finger. "So you were a virgin and you had a baby," John offered.

"There's more of that which goes on here than you can imagine," Judith explained. "Our fertility clinic does offer that service for couples like you, when an Operation Rescue girl doesn't match your profile.