Chapter 36: Oxford

Maryam missed her period a fortnight later, much to her delight, and was immediately sent by a cautiously optimistic Chief Eunuch into the Palace Hospital for tests, which confirmed that she was indeed carrying a male fœtus. The Chief Eunuch was brimming with pride, almost as if he had been responsible, when he announced the news to the Emir.

The Emir's reaction was not what the Chief Eunuch had expected; he had thought that the young Emir would be excited at the prospect of having an heir to the throne so soon, but the Emir's reaction was largely one of relief that, all being well, there would be a Crown Prince in the palace within the year.

Now that he knew that the succession was pretty well ensured, barring unforeseen accidents, he could turn his attention to other matters, and this feeling coincided with a letter arriving from the Master of his old college in Oxford inquiring when he was intending to return to complete his Ph.D. The Emir resolved to go to Oxford and collect his personal belongings, and to give his old College an endowment which would recognise Mathematical Topology, his subject, as being important enough to warrant a full Professorship. Now such matters are decided by the University authorities, but the Emir was realist enough to know that if he gave them a big endowment conditional on such an appointment, the University Council would see the wisdom of his ideas, that is if the sum of money offered was enough. After all he wasn't trying to get a stupid child accepted as an undergraduate at the same time, as sometimes happened.

He consulted Kamal Qumsiyeh, as his Head of Protocol, and Hajji Kofi Natsheh, as his Advisor on Foreign Affairs. Both tried to dissuade him, as he expected, but he ordered them to set up a trust fund of about £5,000,000 to endow this Chair. Because he, and they, did not trust the University not simply to redirect the money to other purposes, they insisted that the fund would be hedged around with restrictive conditions. One was that the Emir's personal representative would be able to veto any unsuitable candidates; another safeguard was that if the College tried to get round the veto by not appointing anyone for a long time, the money would be taken away from the University and the funds applied at the University of Kobek.

The discussion then turned to the practicalities of the visit. The College Finance Officer was told of the possible endowment and he quickly brought pressure on the Master to invite the Emir to make an official visit to the College. Then Hajji Kofi Natsheh had to arrange with the British Government that the Emir was making a strictly private visit and that no formal acknowledgement of his presence was needed, or wanted.

It would the first time the Emir had used his private 'plane; the journey from England had been in a normal 747 of Air Kobekistani which had been used by the Advisors while another aeroplane was being prepared to replace the one in which the old Emir and the Crown Prince had died. Naturally he wanted to know what the arrangements would be. For example, should he take along one or two women from his harem? He was quickly told that such a decision would unsettle the members of the harem, most of whom had never been outside a building in their lives, let alone out of the country. Adequate provision had always been made among the flight crew when the old Emir had travelled. There would be several women, including at least one virgin, for his amusement, and the fittings included living, sleeping and amusement facilities.

"Amusement facilities?" asked the Emir.

"Whipping frames, and so forth," replied Kamal Qumsiyeh.

So a four day visit was decide on. They would arrive in the morning, after an overnight flight from Kobekistan and go straight to Oxford. That evening the Emir would attend High Table formal dinner. The next morning he would travel to London and visit the Embassy, where he would stay for two days. Then they would return to Kobekistan in the same aeroplane, and with the same flight crew.

In a fit of silliness, the Emir asked, "Will the virgin be repaired ready for the return flight?"

Recognising that the Emir was being sardonic, Kamal Qumsiyeh led the laughter. Later, this question was taken totally seriously, however, and arrangements were made for a suitable virgin to be flown to England the day before the Emir's arrival to be on hand for the return journey if necessary.

For the harem, there was no prior indication of the Emir's departure; all they knew was that one evening he was not in the harem for the night, and no women were prepared against the possibility of his unexpected return. Zubeydeh correctly interpreted that as meaning that the Chief Eunuch knew where the Emir was and that he was at least four hours travel time away from the Golden Palace.

When he returned three days later, he strode into the harem and went straight into the pool area calling for Zubeydeh to be found. All the harem was a-twitter with this complete disregard for normal custom and practice, which demanded at least an hour's preparation of any woman the Master wanted. She would be bathed, shaved, perfumed, oiled front and rear, and generally titivated. It was clear that the Master did not want her in his bed; it must be a punishment for something. Zubeydeh came as fast as she could without losing her dignity, and performed a deep obeisance before her son.

"Mother," said the Emir, "I've sacked the London Ambassador and demoted Hajji Kofi Natsheh into his place. The Embassy was a shambles. Nobody made obeisance, the Ambassador's wife was rude to me, nothing was as it should be in a part of Kobekistan transported to another country. I want you to go round every Embassy and make sure that the our diplomatic policies are being put forward correctly. General Mustapha is going to sort out the protocol."