Chapter 10

I wanted to go home, but I needed to stop by the library first. I had a report due in the morning and I'd been putting it off until the last minute like I always did. I called home, borrowing the phone at the front desk. The girl working there was a high school girl named Lauren and Henry had a big crush on her, but I couldn't ever figure out why. She too tall or thin, or something, and hardly ever said a word anybody could understand.

She'd come from Luxemburg, the place in Europe, not the one in Wisconsin, and so Lauren spoke Luxemburgese according to Henry. I thought it sounded an awful lot like German myself, but what did I know? Her family grew grapes and had a little winery, although Washington isn't exactly renowned for its wines. I guess they did alright though. They grew good grapes, I knew that much. Me and my friends liked to pick them towards the end of August, around midnight was best usually, because everyone else was sleeping. Know what I mean?

I let Daddy know where I was and he let me know that it was getting late. So I hurried up and found some books, but they were the big reference books that people couldn't ever check out for some reason. Maybe because they were so big somebody might lose them, I don't know. So I had to get some notes out of them. I guess libraries just weren't my lucky places, at least on that particular Monday, because not ten minutes after I sat down I had company.

"Hi," Jane whispered. She put her purse and a couple books on the table I was sitting at and sat down next to me, scooting her chair about half a foot closer than it already was and I had a vague sense of déjà vu.

"Hi," I said without much enthusiasm.

I'd never had many female friends in school or out of it and I didn't need to start making them now. I had Sandy and I guess you could say she'd become my best female friend, sort of, and one seemed like enough. Mark and David had sworn to me repeatedly that Sherry and Jane wouldn't say a word about Saturday night, but it wasn't making me feel better about what had happened. Jane was 17 and a high school junior, her sister Sherry was 18 and a senior, so I didn't have much to do with them anyway.

"What are you doing?" Jane leaned over, practically in my lap, I thought, pretending to be interested in what I was reading.

"I have to do a report on Picasso for my art class," I replied softly. I flipped through a big picture book of the guy's paintings.

"Weird." Jane gave a little giggle.

One thing you gotta know is that Jane's a pretty girl, all blonde and blue eyed, and I knew half the boys in school had a crush on her, with the other half probably tripping over Sherry. Their family owned a horse ranch and they usually dressed like it, wearing straight leg designer jeans, western style blouses, and snakeskin cowboy boots in colors like pink or candy apple red to match their lipstick. I found it completely ridiculous, to be honest, and thought it made them seem sort of fake. I didn't really want to be friends with Jane or her sister, despite what we might or might not have had in common. And that, I figured, was the reason Jane had come around. Even if I wasn't a real lesbian, she probably thought I was and I didn't know what to think of her.

"Hey, I think it's cool you and Josh's cousin hooked up," Jane whispered with her head very close to mine. "I just wanted to say that you didn't have to worry, you know? Sherry's cool with it too and we aren't going to say anything to anybody."

"Okay," I shrugged.

I had no idea what Jane expected me to say or do. What had happened between Sandy and I had nothing to do with anyone else. It didn't matter to me at all if Jane was happy about it or not. I was happy and so was Sandy and if word did get out somehow, well ... There's always somebody saying something about me anyway and Sandy lived a hundred miles away. It wouldn't mean anything.

"Mark and David..." Jane paused, " ... they told you about us, right?"

"You and Sherry?" I turned to look at her and nodded slightly. "Yeah. They told me. I won't tell."

"I know," she said quickly. "Okay, I just was wondering, you know."

We sat there for awhile, being quiet and pretending to read our books. I kept flipping pages, not feeling much like taking notes, and just wondering when Jane was going to leave me alone.

"Hey!" I nearly jumped out of my chair and a dozen people stared at me.

"Quiet please." The adult librarian, old Mrs. Tucker, gave me a dirty look and I settled back into my chair, feeling my face getting red.

Jane had put her hand on the inside of my thigh, out of sight under the table, and given me a little squeeze. I hadn't expected that at all and she'd about given me a heart attack.

"Don't do that!" I whispered angrily.

"What?" Jane smiled innocently.

"You know what." I thought about moving to another table, but she'd probably follow me. "Just don't do it."

"Sorry," she said softly, but she didn't sound very sorry. "I was bored."

"Well, go be bored someplace else. I have work to do." I wasn't raised to be rude, so that's about as close to it as I could get, at least in the public library.

"Okay. Come with me?" Jane whispered, leaning close and grabbing my arm.

"What?" I stared at her.

"Come with me." She jerked her head towards the doors. "I've got my car outside; we can go someplace if you want."

"I can't go out. I have to get some notes and get home," I yanked my arm away and went back to my book, making little blinders around my eyes with my hands so I couldn't see her. "Sheesh," I muttered and really hoped she'd get the hint.

"I'll give you a ride then." Jane was all smiles and I could tell she wanted to touch me, just to rub my arm or tug on my hand or something, but she didn't.

"I have my bike, I can't leave it here," I said, feeling about ready to give up.

"Well..." she drew the word out slowly. "Okay then." She started getting up and I was about to give a sigh of relief. "Can I call you later?" she asked, unable to just leave me alone for some reason.

"Yeah," I agreed out of frustration more than anything else. I could always hang up the phone, but having Jane hovering over me was getting real old real fast.

"Cool!" Jane giggled happily and away she went.

I just sat there. I didn't remember ever seeing her so ... perky ... before. But then I'd only seen her with my brothers, really, and then only briefly. She'd always seemed much more quiet though. Rather introspective, I thought, like she was watching life more than participating in it. I guessed I was wrong, because she'd been anything but quiet talking to me in the library. Jane had been animated and cheerful and even playful with me, and it made me wonder about her little.

When I got home, I heated up some leftover meatloaf that Mark had cooked. None of my brothers were really bad cooks, as a general rule, but they weren't really good either. I was hungry enough so it tasted pretty good though and I worked on my report while I ate, actually managing to write something that might almost get me a passing grade. Art class was supposed to be easy, wasn't it?

The good thing was that I had Henry and Greg doing my chores all that week and the next, so I almost felt like I was on vacation. I started thinking maybe trading a blowjob or two for a break from doing the dishes and washing clothes wasn't a bad deal for any of us. Maybe I shouldn't have promised Mark and David that I'd never fool around with my brothers again, but I had and if I got caught breaking that promise it would probably be pretty bad. So I had to make sure I didn't get caught! I was laughing to myself, thinking those bad thoughts and writing about that stupid Picasso guy — I could paint better than him! — when I had the sudden thought that I should call Kyle.

Blame it on my sudden good mood, because for some reason I felt rather happy with myself for the first time in days. Probably it's because finishing homework is always a good thing, and maybe it was knowing I didn't have to do the dishes, or maybe ... I pursed my lips, thinking hard. Maybe it was just the silly way Jane had been acting. But no, it couldn't have been that. She'd been pretty annoying, especially the way she'd tried so hard to be cute. It might work on guys, but I wasn't a guy. Well, I was a guy, wasn't I? Isn't that what I always told myself and anyone who would listen? But I wasn't a lesbian! Except I had a girlfriend I reminded myself, wondering if I wasn't going crazy. I was a guy who liked guys, and just happened to like one chick out of 3 billion, so Jane might be amazingly hot, yeah, but it didn't mean anything because I wasn't really gay. Except on the inside.

I really missed Sandy.

Daddy say in the living room watching TV, which meant he'd probably fallen asleep, and my brothers were all doing their own things. Scott probably playing his guitar; Steve surfing the internet for muscle babes; Mark and David hanging out in the garage sharing their secrets; Greg doing his own homework in our room; and Henry ... Who knows? Jerking off in the bathroom maybe while he plotted a new way to make everyone mad. At least I was alone in the kitchen and I picked up the phone, knowing what I wanted to say and wondering if I really had the guts to go through with it.

"Hi. Is Kyle there?" I asked his mom and waited a few minutes for him to pick up the phone. My heart was beating hard with excitement and I felt a little giddy, actually. It was nice.

"Hello?" Kyle's voice always sounded deeper than my other friends, especially over the phone, and it always surprised me for some reason.

"Hi." I didn't bother saying it was me, he'd know. "What's up?"

"Oh, hey." He sounded sort of neutral, I guess because I'd pissed him off earlier. "Nothing. What are you up to?"

"Nothing," I said. "Just doing my homework."

"Yeah," Kyle replied without enthusiasm. "I had to memorize the Gettysburg Address."

"Did you do it?"

"Sorta," Kyle laughed. "Wanna hear it?"

"Sure," I listened as he rattled off Lincoln's most famous speech and I told him it sounded good to me, but I had no idea if it was right or not. I'd never memorized the stupid thing.

"Hey, um ... I was thinking..." I looked around just to make sure I was alone in the kitchen. "If you still wanted, I mean..." I stumbled, trying to get the words out.

"Wanted what?" Kyle might have been playing with me, but I didn't think so.

"Well, if you wanted to take me to a movie or something?" I asked, holding my breath.

"You mean on a date?" Kyle sounded a little nervous too. "You want to go out with me?"

"Yeah," I breathed. "On a date, you know, um ... Just me and you and, uh, well..."

"Yes!" I could almost hear the ka-ching of his arm pumping the air and then he toned it way, way down. "I mean, yeah, I want to. Can you go out tomorrow?" He sounded a lot happier now and it made me smile.

"I think so, yeah. But I'd have to be back by ten or maybe eleven, I think. I'd have to ask my dad." I felt a little excited now, well a lot excited really, and I decided right then that I'd go no matter what Daddy said. It would be worth a trip to the woodshed.

"Okay, um ... I'll pick you up at seven, is that okay?"

"Sure, okay," I agreed. "But I'm not gonna wear a dress or anything like that." I didn't even have a dress!

Kyle laughed. "Yeah, it's cool. I don't care what you wear!"

I giggled and dropped my voice. "Really?" It was a mild tease and made me feel kinda sexy almost. "I might surprise you then!"

"Ummm..." Kyle wasn't sure what to say to that.

"See you tomorrow, Kyle," I whispered.

"Goodnight, Ann," Kyle said and neither one of us hung up the phone.

"Hang up!"

"You first!"

"Okay," I said and didn't do anything. About a minute later I finally told him, "I'm hanging up now."

"Alright."

"I'm going."

"Okay."

I laughed. I'd never played telephone games before; it was stupid, but kind of fun too. "Tell me you love me and I'll hang up."

"What?"

"Tell me you love me," I repeated slowly. "And I'll hang up."

"I love you," he said half a minute later. I giggled and hung up, feeling as happy as I'd ever felt in my life.

Three seconds later the phone rang and I grinned, grabbing it off the hook. "Kyle! What are you..."

"Kyle, huh?" a girl's voice chuckled softly in my ear. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Who's this?" I asked, feeling a bit put off by her words.

"It's Jane, silly! You told me I could call, remember?" She paused but not long enough to let me answer her. "Your phone's been busy for half an hour! What were you guys doing?"

"Oh, um, I was talking to someone." I frowned and wondered what she wanted.

"Is he cute?" Jane asked with a giggle and talk about sexy. I wondered if she practiced that.

"He's just a friend, okay?" I felt a little exasperated by her already and I considered hanging up, but then she'd probably just call back.

"Guess where I am," Jane said playfully.

"I don't know." I didn't really care either, I didn't add.

"Come on, guess!"

"Um, I don't know. Your house?" Where else would she be at 9:30 on a Monday night?

"Yeeeeah..." she said, leading me on. "But where in my house?"

"How would I know?" I laughed at her. "Ummm, the bathtub?"

"Nope!" She giggled again. "Close though ... I'm naked."

That seemed like a little bit more than I needed to know.

"I'm in bed." Jane's voice sounded soft and sort of breathless.

"Oh." I didn't have much to say to that.

"I bet you really fucked Josh's cousin good, huh?" Jane wasn't giggling now and her words hit me like a little punch in my stomach. "We heard you guys doing it. We listened for five minutes before Mark rang the doorbell."

"Good for you," I muttered, feeling my body burning with embarrassment. It's one thing to know that Jane knew about Sandy and me, but it's another thing altogether to hear her talking about it.

"And when you opened the door..." Jane sighed softly. "You looked so sexy standing there."

I could barely breathe as I listened to Jane's voice in my ear. I'd been wearing nothing but my boxers and underneath those my strap-on dildo, pressing outward like a huge erection between my legs. I'd wanted to embarrass my brothers, shock them into realizing their mistake. I hadn't planned on giving Jane or her sister something to fantasize about!

"I'm touching myself just thinking about you. Rubbing my little pussy, fingering my tight, wet cunt..." Jane whispered breathlessly and I had little doubt she was actually doing it. "Thinking about your hard little body on mine, your sweet tongue in my mouth ... Mmmm ... Do you want to fuck me, Ann?"

"I, uh..." I couldn't say anything.

My nipples itched and I could feel a dampness growing between my thighs as I listened to her. This wasn't right, I told myself. I didn't care about Jane Hudson at all. I wanted to hang up on her, just tell her I wasn't queer and slam the phone down. But I didn't. I had this image of her lithe body stretched out on a bed, her golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes, her pert breasts with pink bubblegum nipples and her pussy, covered with fine blonde hair, wet and hot and begging for my strap-on dick. I shook my head, but it wouldn't go away.

"You want me, don't you? I want you too. I bet you have a big cock. A big hard cock you could fuck me with..." she moaned gently. "If you wanted to, Ann. You could do anything you want to me. What do you want to do, huh? God, I'm so wet right now. Are you getting wet? What do you want, Ann? Tell me ... Make me cum ... Tell me how you want to make me cum..."

Jane's voice sounded ragged and full of sexual energy. It was almost hypnotizing, listening to her get off while she talked about having sex with me. I wouldn't have imagined doing such a thing with a complete stranger! But Jane was doing it with me, and it worked too. My skin had grown hot, but I had goose bumps at the same time, and my tummy felt like it was full of butterflies, their wings tickling me from the inside out. My nipples burned and I wanted to pinch them, but I didn't dare. My pussy felt wet now, more than just damp, and my clit had become a sharp point of electric pleasure begging for attention.

"I want to fuck you..." I whispered, unable to help myself. I'd falled down a hole and my head was spinning. "I want to make you cum all over my cock."

"Mmmm ... Yeah ... Fuck me, Ann. Close your eyes and imagine your cock inside me ... Fucking me so good ... Your tits rubbing against mine ... My nipples are so hard right now ... Bite them for me. Suck my tits, Ann ... Make me cum for you ... Uhhh ... Fuck yessss ... I'm gonna cum ... Make me cum ... Oh!"

She was cumming! Right then and there over the phone, Jane was fingering her pussy and cumming for me. I found my body had fallen into her rhythm, my breathing matching hers. My fingers unconsciously traveled down my tummy and between my legs to rub against my aching clitoris through my jeans. I was so close, somehow Jane had brought me to the edge and as I listened to her I could only close my eyes, trying to see her, trying to feel her body beneath mine. I was going to cum, standing there in the kitchen, talking to a girl I barely knew over the phone. I was cumming and I could hardly hold onto the phone as my soft cries carried over the wires to join with Jane's.

We just breathed into our phones for several long minutes. I felt deeply embarrassed and even a rush of guilt as my head slowly cleared and I thought about what I'd just done. I felt a little angry, maybe even somewhat used, although I wasn't sure how or why exactly. I halfway expected Jane to say something stupid, either intentionally or just because she wanted to sound cute, but she didn't.

"Thank you..." she whispered. "That was amazing." She sounded sweet and sincere, maybe even a little vulnerable somehow and I forgot my anger immediately.

"Yeah," I agreed breathlessly. "It felt good."

"Goodnight, Ann."

"Night, Jane." And that's all we said, as if Jane and I now had some unspoken agreement between us. But I had no idea what our new relationship meant, I only knew it existed.

"I need my own phone," I whispered to myself and smiled until I looked down at myself. I'd really had a good orgasm. Not a great one, but pretty good and defenitely wet. I could smell myself and worse, feel myself. Juices from my pussy had run down my thighs and it felt like I'd peed my pants sorta.

I just thanked God that I hadn't gotten caught. It was a miracle, believe me, and nearly enough to make me believe in fate. Jane and I ... Hmmm ... My mind wandered as I hurried upstairs to the bathroom. I didn't like her, or at least I hadn't liked her before. She was a girl for one thing, and my brother's girlfriend for another, and ... I didn't know.

How could I be excited about her? I didn't want to be, that's the thing. I didn't want to be attracted to her. I didn't want to have sex with her. Did I? We'd just had sex though and it had been pretty good. I hadn't fucked her physically, but mentally, and maybe more important — emotionally — I'd definitely fucked Jane. I couldn't deny that and she wouldn't forget it either, I was certain of that.

"So, you got a boyfriend now, eh Russet?" Coach had me bench pressing 60 pounds while he spotted me. It wasn't a lot, I could lift it easy, but doing 5 sets of ten got kinda tough towards the end.

"Ugggh ... Huh..." I gave him a tiny nod. Three more, I told myself. Just three. "Ugghhh..."