Chapter 13

Brianna wanted to close her eyes, wanted to make it all go away, but she couldn't. She watched helplessly as Bobby lunged across the bedroom and collapsed to his knees just inside the bathroom door. He quickly wrapped an unresponsive Melissa in his arms and started trying to revive her.

"Melissa, oh, God, Melissa, answer me. Please, wake up. God, please wake her."

An open pill bottle and an empty glass were sitting on the vanity top, and even in her shock, Brianna knew exactly what had happened.

"Wake up, Melissa, wake up," Bobby kept saying. "Don't leave me, Mel, please, Baby. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you."

Brianna felt helpless. Wobbly legs carried her a few steps into the room.

"Bobby, is she OK?"

He had his face buried in her hair and was rocking with her. "Please, Baby, wake up. Wake up. God, I love her, please wake her, please."

Brianna sat on the edge of the bed and looked dazedly around the room. Melissa's backpack and purse were sitting in the middle of the bed and her purse was open. Brianna assumed Melissa came in, got the pills, went to the bathroom, took the pills, and then sat down or lay down in front of the vanity to wait. As she scanned the room, she saw the cordless phone on the bedside table.

Suddenly, the need for action cleared Brianna's mental fog. Cursing her delayed response, she scrambled across the bed, grabbed the phone, and dialed 911. She watched as Bobby continued to rock her. Within moments, Brianna heard a voice. The words were jumbled in her mind, so she just started talking.

"My friend, she tried, um, she took pills, and we found her in her house, um, 221 Brookhaven Court. She took pills and she's dying." Suddenly tears sprang to Brianna's eyes, and she stifled a sob. "Please hurry, please. I don't want her to die."

Brianna watched as nurses and doctors went about their normal day-to-day activities, oblivious to the fact that somewhere in the bowels of the emergency room, her friend was fighting for her life. She marveled that that was how she viewed Melissa, as a friend. Only days ago, it seemed, Melissa could have been considered an enemy. Tragedy had thrown them together, though, and even if Melissa didn't know it, Brianna WAS her friend.

She felt the warmth and comfort of her mother's arm as it lay draped across her shoulders, but she was too out of it to nestle into the embrace. She looked across the waiting room and saw a police officer huddled with her father and Bobby's mother. About 20 feet away from them, Bobby sat alone, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

Brianna stood up.

"Brianna?" Lucy Rawlings asked her daughter, concern obvious in her voice.

Brianna walked slowly until she stood before Bobby. He didn't acknowledge her. She stood nervously for a minute, unsure of what to do or say. Finally, she sat down next to him.

"You OK?" she asked, quietly.

He didn't respond for a long time. Brianna locked eyes with her mother, who watched her carefully. Finally Bobby spoke.

"Why, Brianna?"

"I don't know."

Bobby turned his head enough to peek at her. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, his cheeks still wet with tears.

"Bullshit. You said something was going on. You said you knew. What happened, Brianna? Why would she do this?"

Brianna didn't know how to answer that. A large part of her wanted to tell Bobby everything she knew. He had a right to know, didn't he? Yet, she still didn't know EXACTLY what happened, and even if she did, she promised Melissa. Maybe she could tell him if Melissa...

She shuddered at the thought of the girl not coming through this.

"I WANT to tell you, Bobby, but I promised I wouldn't. Right or wrong, I gave my word."

"That's shit."

"I'm sorry."

Bobby looked like he wanted to lash out at her, but instead dropped his head again.

"Maybe Tyson can tell you," she said, without a thought.

Bobby suddenly went rigid, his entire body frozen.

"What?" he said, without raising his head.

Brianna didn't say anything, mentally kicking herself for the hasty comment. Bobby sat up and looked at Brianna. His face was pale and his eyes suddenly haunted.

"What did he do?"

Brianna cursed herself for having said anything, but before she could respond, the police officer interrupted them. Her name tag said "Warner".

"I need to get an official statement from each of you about what happened, but I need to talk to you separately." Officer Warner looked at Brianna. "How about you first?"

Brianna shrugged and looked at her father, who was now sitting next to her mother. He smiled reassuringly and nodded. Brianna didn't say anything, but stood up and followed Officer Warner to another empty corner of the waiting room.

After getting the facts of what happened that day, Officer Warner began to probe.

"What were you and Melissa going to discuss?"

Brianna wondered how much she should say. Part of her wanted to open up about Tyson and all the stuff she and Merrigan had uncovered, to finally put it into the hands of the authorities. However, several of the girls, Merrigan included, were adamant about not saying anything unless there was absolutely no way Tyson and his friends would get off. The last time a similar situation came to light in their town, the supposedly solid case by the accusers fell apart within days, their families were "forced" to move away, and the accused got off without even seeing the inside of a courtroom. Brianna knew Merrigan would have to lead the way in coming forward; Brianna couldn't push her.

"She, um, she said she had some personal problems that she was dealing with and I asked if I could help, even just to listen."

"Really? What were those problems?"

"They ... they were really personal. She told me in confidence."

Officer Warner nodded her understanding. "I can appreciate your desire to keep her confidence, Brianna," she said warmly. "You're a good friend to do so, but if anything can shed light onto why she would try to take her life, I'm sure her parents would like to know so they can get her the appropriate care."

Brianna looked down at her hands, which were playing with the hem of her shirt, a habit that Merrigan had when she was nervous or worried and which she had apparently passed on to Brianna. She looked back up at the officer. If Melissa's pregnancy hadn't been discovered already, it would soon be. Brianna took a deep breath.

"She said she was pregnant and that her boyfriend broke up with her when he found out. He said it wasn't his."

"What does Melissa say?"

"She said the same thing."

"I see." Officer Warner was quiet as she made notes. "What was her state of mind the last time you saw her before this afternoon?"

"That's the thing. When I talked to her this morning, she seemed better off than she did yesterday. She was pretty depressed yesterday. Today she seemed, I don't know, kind of like she was starting to deal with things. I thought it was because she felt she had someone to confide in now, but then this..."

Brianna felt her eyes well up, thinking again of the scene she witnessed only a couple hours before. Officer Warner laid her hand gently on Brianna's shoulder, a gesture that was meant to comfort.

"This happens sometimes with people who are contemplating suicide. Once they make the decision to do so, it's almost like they feel some burden has been lifted, like they feel at peace with their decision. Maybe that was the case with your friend."

Brianna shrugged and sniffed back her tears.

"Is there anything else you can tell me that might have bearing on this?" the police officer asked.

Once again, Brianna was tempted to blurt it all out, but instead she shook her head. Officer Warner thanked her, and as she went to talk to Bobby, Brianna gathered her parents to leave. Brianna looked back at Bobby, but he was oblivious to her.

Since her parents had driven separately, Brianna was alone with her mother on the drive home. After a few minutes of quiet, her mother spoke.

"Are you OK?" Her voice was soft and soothing. Brianna closed her eyes and let the familiarity and comfort wash over her. For her whole life, her mother had been there when she was hurt. Physically, emotionally, always; and it was her mother's reassuring voice that often soothed the pain more than anything else.

"I guess," Brianna answered. "Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Sweetie."

"How do you know what's the right thing to do when both choices look equally right?"

Her mother looked at her thoughtfully for a second. "Does this have to do with Melissa?"

Brianna shrugged. "Sort of. I mean, not exactly, but kind of indirectly, you know?"

Lucy smiled at her daughter, which made Brianna feel safe all over again.

"That's a hard question to answer without a little more to go on."

"Haven't you ever faced a choice between right and right? How do you measure which one is the choice to make?"

"If you are looking for a clear answer, there isn't any. Sometimes you make the decision based on which would affect the most people. Other times you make the decision based on which would have the best long-term consequences. Often, you make those decisions based on which one most affects YOU personally. The best I can say is that you should try to look at the big picture and follow your instincts."

"But how do you know if your instincts are right?"

"You just have to have faith in yourself."

Brianna was quiet as she contemplated this. She could push Merrigan to release what they had on Tyson, or she could just wait until Merrigan was ready. She nixed the idea of going forward without Merrigan, because she was sure things would quickly fall apart. The other girls were looking to Merrigan to pave the way. Besides, Brianna didn't want to hurt Merrigan, and that's exactly what would happen. But how much longer could they wait? How many more girls would need to be raped before they would act? How many more attempted or, God forbid, successful suicides? What evidence was there to be found, aside from the girls' stories and eyewitness accounts? What was Merrigan waiting for? Brianna knew, and it brought tears to her eyes. Merrigan was afraid. She was afraid of facing Tyson and she was afraid of getting dragged through the mud.

Brianna was afraid, too. As she imagined Melissa barely alive in a hospital, Brianna was afraid they just might be too late.

Heidi wrote her answer and then leaned back so Jack could read it. He smiled when he was done.

"Yep, you got it. Good job."

Heidi's smile lit her face and she seemed to vibrate with excitement at his praise. The tutoring session hadn't started that way. If anything, she was more subdued and withdrawn than she was in class the day before, but as the session progressed, she immersed herself into the work. She really was a bright, intelligent, young woman. She worked efficiently and quickly grasped the concepts. Jack was amused by how happily she accepted praise from him. As his positive words continued, she became more and more excited by it.

Heidi was also a very pretty girl. In the quiet of this corner of the library, with an hour of one-on-one time, Jack found it hard to ignore how her every movement seemed to radiate sexiness. At first, Jack assumed her measured actions were meant to flirt, but the more they worked together, the more Jack realized that it was just her natural way.

"You did great today, Heidi."

She blushed at his words. "It's because I have such a great teacher."

"Bah. You did the work. I was just the cheering section."

She began to gather her books, her smile never leaving her face. She reached down to pick her purse off the floor, and with a quick glance, Jack confirmed what he'd seen when she first arrived and removed her jacket. She moved just right both times, and Jack could catch a glimpse. As she sat back upright, she looked at Jack again, the smile still firmly in place.

Without a word, he reached out and very gently slid his hand up her arm, beginning at her elbow. She flinched in surprise, and her smile fell as Jack's hand pushed her sleeve up, uncovering a nasty bruise that almost circled her upper arm.

"What happened?" he asked, quietly.

Fear and defiance quickly filled Heidi's face.

"I got it caught in a door," she lied, her voice almost hostile.

Without another word, Jack reached across her and pushed her other sleeve up.

"Hey!" she said, as she quickly leaned away. She wasn't fast enough to stop him from seeing an almost identical bruise.

"Both arms?" he asked, "What happened?"

"Just an accident."

"Did HE do it to you?"

"Nobody did anything to me."

"Heidi, I can see the marks of each finger. He must have been gripping you pretty tight. Did he shake you hard, too?"

Heidi frowned, but remained silent as her trembling hands attempted to put her Jacket on.

"Why'd he do it? Did he say you made him mad? Who is he anyway?"

"Please, Mr. Williams, I need to go." Gone from her voice was the hostility, replaced now by fear and pleading. "It's no big deal."

"It's a big deal to me. He hurt you, and from the looks of it, this isn't the first time." Jack indicated the faint bruise on her cheek.

Heidi suddenly slumped in her chair, obviously resigned to the discovery. Her eyes watered with tears.

"He only hurts me when I deserve it. Most of the time he's sweet and gentle."

"No one deserves to be treated like this EVER."

"It's OK, really. I ... I need it."

Jack was surprised at the sudden conviction in her voice.

"Who is he?"

"He's my boyfriend."

"Some boyfriend."

"Don't judge him," she said, angrily. "He loves me."

"This is how he shows you?"

Jack tried to keep his voice even, tried to refrain from letting his emotions go. He really wanted to understand why or how someone would allow themselves to be treated this way. He couldn't grasp how someone else could treat anyone like this.

"He loves me so much he's willing to do whatever I need to help me be the best I can be."

Jack was at a loss, and Heidi filled in the silence.

"He doesn't do it often, and usually it's not this bad. But he was..." She stopped suddenly, as if she realized she said too much.

"He was what, Heidi?"

A tear trickled down her face, leaving a wet trail right down the middle of the fading bruise.

"Heidi?"

"He was kind of mad at me yesterday, so it was worse than normal."

"Why was he mad?"

Heidi kept her eyes downcast.

"He was mad because ... because of you."

Jack's eyes opened wide. "Me?"

"Because I was late getting out of class, and when I got out, I was walking and laughing with you."

Jack tamped down his temper.

"Does he get angry with you often?"

Heidi looked up. "No! Honest, it only happens sometimes."

"So what he did to you yesterday was rare? What about the day before?"

Heidi froze. "W-what do you mean?"

"In class yesterday, you couldn't even sit still because you were so obviously uncomfortable. Why? Was he angry the day before, as well?

"He wasn't..." Heidi blushed and looked away. "Listen, can't you just drop it? Why do you even care?"

Why did he care? Jack wondered at that. He liked to think that he would be equally concerned about any other student, but he wasn't sure. The truth was, he felt a genuine fondness for Heidi, because underneath all that attitude, she really appeared to be a sweet girl who was just trying to find her way through the pitfalls of early adulthood. He felt shallow to think that part of his attentiveness to her was because she was physically attractive, as well. Guilt flared up as he wondered about what his girls would think if they could hear that last thought.

"I like you, Heidi," he finally said, "You're a sweet girl, and I'm worried that you're going to end up getting hurt ... or worse."

He hated that he sounded overly dramatic, but he knew that left unchecked, domestic violence could become more and more violent, even to the point of becoming fatal. Finally, Heidi looked back at him. Her eyes were pleading.

"Please, Mr. Williams ... Jack. If you really care like you say you do, you'll just drop it."

"But..."

"I'm a big girl," she said, her voice filled with conviction. "I know what I'm doing, and I'm in a relationship I want to be in. So, please, I'm asking you ... no, I'm BEGGING you, to please let it go. Don't ask my any more questions about my personal life, and I promise I won't let it interfere with my schoolwork."

Jack hesitated. He didn't want to do as she asked, but he knew he was overstepping his bounds now as her instructor. She was asking him to stay out of her personal life. He realized that the only way to keep an eye on her was to do as she asked; otherwise he risked chasing her away. Reluctantly, he nodded.

"I'll do what you ask ... for now. However, I reserve the right to inquire again if I feel you aren't keeping up with the class. Deal?"

She smiled sadly. "Deal."

"Oh, Brianna, I'm so sorry," Allison said, as she wiped the tears from her face. She desperately wished she could reach through the phone and hug her friend. "How is she?"

"The doctor said she has stabilized, but they won't really know the effects until she regains consciousness." Brianna sniffed. "I feel partly responsible for this. I mean, if I hadn't been pushing Melissa to talk to me..."

"Brianna Marie Rawlings!" Allison said, sternly. "You had absolutely nothing to do with Melissa trying to kill herself. The blame rests on Tyson's shoulders, and on any son of a bitch who thought they'd take a turn with her that night. I don't ever want to hear you say something like that again. What happened to all those girls, what happened to ME, and what might happen to any girl in the future is Not.Your.Fault."

Brianna sighed. "I know that I'm not thinking rationally, but I know if we could just take what we have and turn it over to the police, then we can stop Tyson and his friends."

"It might, and it might not."

"But we'll never know unless we try. If I can just convince Merrigan to act, all the other girls will follow her lead."

"We've been over this before, Bri. She has to decide for herself that the time is right, that she's ready to take the chance. The best thing you can do for her is continue helping her."

"I know, I know. You're right." Brianna was silent for a few moments, and then quietly she said. "I love her, Allison."

Allison felt the tears in her eyes again when she heard the pain in Brianna's voice. Brianna was wrestling so hard with the morality of her feelings for Merrigan. That Merrigan refused to go public with their new relationship only made Brianna's battle even harder.

"And it's because you love her that you'll be beside her through this whole thing. When Merrigan finally comes forward against Tyson, and is then faced with all the public backlash and lies about her that will likely come out, you'll do more than stand beside her. You'll carry her. I know that's one of the reasons she loves you, because it's one of the reasons I love you. You are so selfless"

Brianna took a deep breath. "Thanks, Allie. I love you and miss you so much. You're the best friend in the whole world."

"I miss you, too. You keep your chin up, Bri. We'll be praying for you, Merrigan, Melissa, and all the other girls." She looked through the glass doors into the waiting room, and saw Abigail flipping through a magazine. "I hate to go, but I have to get back inside. Abigail's appointment is in a few minutes."

"That's OK. We can talk later. Say hi to Abbie for me, and tell her I'm praying for you guys, too. Hopefully, this time, it will work."

Allison said goodbye and stepped back into the waiting room of Abigail's OB/GYN. Abigail was in for a check-up so she could start the next round of fertility treatments, her second since they'd begun talking about it in the fall. She smiled at Allison as the younger girl sat down.

"How is Brianna doing?"

Allison filled her in on the situation back in Tennessee, which made Abigail tear up, as well, and her eyes flashed with anger behind those tears.

"Tyson should be shot on sight," she said. "Actually, that's too good. He needs to go to prison where he can become some big thug's bitch. We'll see how he likes rape on the receiving end."

Allison could only agree.

"Anyway, Bri says hi and that she's praying that things will work this time."

The anger melted from Abigail's face, leaving only sadness behind. She was quiet for a long time.

"I don't know about this, Allison," she said, quietly. "I don't know if I can do this again, emotionally, I mean."

Allison squeezed her sister's hand. She wasn't a part of Jack's and Abigail's relationship the first couple of times they tried fertility drugs, but she'd already been through one cycle with them this time around. If those first times were anything like the treatment that Abigail just completed unsuccessfully, she could understand. The cycle of various drugs made Abigail an emotional wreck, not to mention the physical effects the sudden surge of hormones had on her. Truthfully, when Abigail went through the prolonged, heavy bleeding of the forced menstruation, she was an absolute terror to be around. It was all Allison could do to remind herself that Abigail's emotions were beyond her control.

Allison was still in awe that Jack and Abigail had accepted her so easily into their relationship that they wanted her to be an active part of this process. They sought her input when making their decision to resume trying to have a baby. They included her as an active part of the baby-making process, a position she took seriously as she tried to keep the mood from getting too stressful. Jack complained about having to perform on demand and under pressure. Abigail complained about turning sex into a clinical activity. Allison did her part to keep Jack from experiencing performance anxiety and did what she could to help stoke Abigail's fire.

Jack had an exam on campus, and then he was tutoring that girl from his class, so he was unable to come to this appointment. Allison quickly took up the slack and offered to go with Abigail. At first Abigail refused because it was during Allison's school hours, but when Allison insisted, Jack finally reminded Abigail that they had accepted Allison as a part of their marriage. Abigail actually looked relieved when she accepted Allison's help.

Now, hours later, as they sat in the waiting room together, Abigail clinging tightly to Allison's hand, Allison finally began to really see how stressful the whole infertility thing was for her sister. Allison wanted to cry, but she needed to be a rock for Abigail.

"I wish I could come up with something to say that would make it easier, Abbie, but I can't. I can't even pretend to know what you are going through, but my heart aches for you and Jack. I only hope I can support you in whatever way you need me."

Abigail wiped a tear from her eye and looked at Allison. The love on Abigail's face filled Allison with warmth.

"I love you, Allie. Thanks for being here for us." Abigail sat up straighter and tried to smile. "Enough of this; we took the whole day off so we could spend this time together. How about we go shopping when we're done here? I need to spice up my wardrobe."

Allison smiled at her sister's sudden change in attitude. It was just like Abigail to always try to be the strong one.

"I don't mind shopping, trust me, but there's nothing wrong with your wardrobe."

"Pish posh," Abigail said, in her most haughty manner. "My clothes are much too conservative. They actually border on frumpy."

"Whatever," Allison said, rolling her eyes.

"I will not be deterred. I need to be a bit more daring. I need shorter skirts, blouses that show some sexy cleavage." She slid a finger into the neck of her sweater and tugged it down just a bit, exposing just a hint of cleavage, before letting it spring back into position. "I need some clothes that hug my body. I've got curves I'm proud of, and I want to show them off."

Allison sensed there was more to Abigail's desire to wear edgier clothes. Since the two sisters almost always shopped for clothes together, their tastes had almost merged. Allison was now wearing clothes that she felt showed she was already a young adult, and Abigail was wearing clothes that said she was a stylish young professional. Even on this day, Abigail's form-fitting sweater hugged her large breasts and narrower waist before resting attractively on the swells of her hips. Her long, shapely legs were obvious, even in the loose fitting wool slacks she wore. Abigail wasn't frumpy, she was damn sexy. She had shed their father's ultra-conservative attitude; that mentality died a quick death the moment the sisters made love for the first time and she was establishing her own moral foundation. If she wanted to dial it up a notch, Allison would hardly argue. She leaned towards Abigail conspiratorially.

"OK, I admit it," she whispered, "The thought of you wearing clothes that make you look even sexier than you do now is enough to make my panties wet. But if you are going sexier, then I'm going to go sexier, too."

Abigail smiled. "How about some new lingerie for our man, as well?"

Allison's heart beat harder, imagining Abigail in some slutty piece of satin or lace, moving sensuously around her. "Whatever, how about some new lingerie for each other?"

Abigail chuckled. "I love the way you think, little girl."

Abigail shut the apartment door with her foot since her hands were full, her briefcase and dry cleaning in one hand, and her purse and mail in the other. As she rounded the corner into the dining room, Allison stuck her head out of the kitchen. Yummy smells filled the apartment, which reminded Abigail how grateful she was for Fridays. Allison didn't have soccer practice, weightlifting or film studies, nor did she ever go to Wendy's house. This meant, of course, that she got home a couple of hours before Jack or Abigail and almost always had dinner well on its way.

"Hey, Sexy!" the younger girl said.

Abigail smiled as she dropped her purse and the mail on the table. The girls kissed, then Allison took the dry cleaning from Abigail and disappeared into the bedroom

"How was your day?" Allison asked, from the other room.

"Good. Busy. What about yours?"

Abigail sat in a dining room chair and began to remove her earrings as she read the front cover of the Southern Living magazine that was on top of the pile of mail.

"Boooring! We watched ANOTHER stupid movie in Lit class today. Makes me wonder how they ever educated kids before VCRs and DVD players."

Abigail smiled at the sarcasm in Allison's voice. Her earrings removed, she began to flip through the mail. She saw an envelope from Equifax addressed to Jack. Back in the fall, Jack had been declined for a gas credit card, and Abigail had been after him to request a copy of his credit report. He must have finally done so, as evidenced by the Equifax letter.

Allison came back into the dining room, slipped into the chair next to Abigail and immediately began looking through the Southern Living.

The front door opened.

"Hello, Ladies!" Jack called into the house. "Look who I found wondering aimlessly around the parking lot?"

Both sisters looked up as Jack came into the room, his backpack on one shoulder, and Josh in his arms. Analise was right behind him with an armful of shopping bags. Jack set the toddler down on his feet. Josh teetered a little before falling back onto his diapered butt. He quickly got to his knees and crawled towards a big stuffed dog that was lying in the middle of the living room.

Jack leaned over and kissed each of his girls. He grabbed Abigail's briefcase and went into their bedroom to put their things away.

Analise set the bags on the other end of the table.

"Great, awesome deals at Gymboree," she said, with a smile. "You're going to love what I got Josh."

Allison was sucked into Analise's enthusiasm, which left Abigail to continue going through the mail. She ripped into the Equifax envelope and perused the report. Most of the accounts on the first page were in good standing, just as she expected. One was a month late, but she was aware of that one. The one that got her attention, however, was from the Greater Nashville Women's Health Clinic, the same organization that had been sending past due and collection notices erroneously to Jack.

"Whatcha looking at?" Jack said, as he leaned over Abigail and kissed her on the head.

"Your credit report, I thought you were going to take care of the mistake with the health clinic in Tennessee."

He gave her a sheepish look. "Oh, um ... oops."

"Oops?"

"I kind of just spaced it off. I figured I'd get to it eventually. I didn't think it was a big deal."