Just this week I had one of the oddest experiences of my life. I won - that's right, I won - the right to fuck my buddy's wife, and he watched me do it.
It all started one Tuesday afternoon when a bunch of us stopped for a beer after work. What usually happens when a bunch of guys get together after work is the conversation starts about the work place, progresses to sports, and usually ends up being about women. This time was no different. We started on the relative merits of our new supervisor and we concluded he was an asshole; moved to the topic of the new merit review plan which had just been put in place which led to a conversation about what would happen if everybody got merit reviews. That took us to sports figures and what they would be worth based on merit per game and what they would get if fans filled out merit reviews following every sports contest at which point the barmaid walked by prompting Danny to say "I'd like to do an evaluation on that."
Next, a relative discussion on various women and what they would be worth (to us anyway) for a one night stand, i.e., Demi Moore at $10,000; Brittany Spears at $15K and then George said, "I wonder what I could get for my wife?"
Before the comment had even registered on the rest of us Tom said he'd go $500, Danny said $750, Al went $775, and then Bill piped up "$775, I have $775, do I hear $800?" Tom went $800 and off it went with the bidding ending at $2000.
"I have $2000 once, $2000 twice, sold to Ralph for $2000."
Everybody laughed and then Ralph asked when he could take delivery and George said he had to check with Toni and see what her schedule looked like.
For the next week at work the running joke was Toni's schedule. George took to putting up a phony schedule on the bulletin board that always showed that there was no time in it for Ralph. Friday at noon Toni had come in to pick up George's paycheck and while she was waiting she read the bulletin board, saw the schedule and then George had to explain it to her. Toni looked very pissed off when she left. Monday George came to work and told Ralph that Toni had said Wednesday at 6p.m. Cash only, no checks.
"Christ, George, you know I don't have that kind of money."
George said that he had to come up with it somehow because Toni wanted the two grand. He said he was already in more trouble over this thing than he wanted to be "Besides, you won't actually have to pay it out, She's just pulling my chain, trying to teach me a lesson" and he was going to call her bluff.
At the bar that night we all discussed the problem of how to come up with the two grand. Danny said we could sell raffle tickets. We counted heads and figured we could sell 20 tickets at $100 each, or 40 at $50. We decided on 20 to keep the number manageable. By Tuesday George had sold 18 tickets and could not find anyone to take the other two. Since I expected to get the money back anyway when Toni backed out I took the last two tickets. Wednesday at lunch the winning ticket was drawn and it was mine. Following George home that night I was curious as to how this was going to play out. I knew Toni well enough that I didn't have to worry about being embarrassed when she backed out, but I did wonder at what George's life was going to be like when Toni found out he had actually come up with the two thousand and had brought some one home to make love to her.
.... There is more of this story ...