I look at my watch. 3 Am. The bar is closing now; time for everyone to leave. We don't have to go home, but we can't stay here. No problem, I'm way too drunk and tired to do anymore partying anyway. I say goodbye to my friends and hop in the nearest cab back to my place. The cabbie is gives me looks in the rear-view mirror. He makes me uncomfortable; his tip just got cut in half. I hurry out of the cab and make sure to walk to my neighbour's house until the cab is out of sight; last thing I need is some horny cab driver knowing where I live...
I stumble down the stairs to the basement door. It never locks anyway, so I push it open. I stand awkward for a moment in the little shed under the stairs before I slam the outside door shut and open the inner one with the key under the sheet of rock behind the outer door. I take off my shoes, my coat, throw down my purse and take the clip out of my hair to let it loose down to my lower back. It feels good to be home.
I walk into my room and notice the cleaning lady came in today; my bed is made and the sheets are clean. I smile to myself knowing I will have a great night's rest. I don't bother turning on the lights as I know they will just hurt my eyes and give me a headache. I strip down until I'm not wearing anything but my thong, then I slowly slip it down my legs and kick it into the corner of the room. I turn to jump on the bed when the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up as I realize there was a pair of eyes staring at me from the corner where I threw my under garment. I turn to face you. You do not move. I'm frozen in the dark, naked and drunk. Fear creeps over me as I turn to run out of the room. I get to about a foot away from the door when you grab my hair and stop me from leaving.
I feel my body fall backwards with the strength of your pull and you slam the door shut in front of me while I back up to the wall, cowering on the floor like a scared little bunny. You walk towards me slowly, a small smirk on your face, your deep eyes penetrating mine. You love the fear, I can tell. I want to back away from you but the wall behind me is preventing me from going anywhere ... Thoughts race through my mind: "oh my god, how did he get in?" "what is he going to do to me?" "will I live through this?"
My thoughts turn to prayer as you grab my throat and lift me off the ground holding me against the wall. With your left hand, you grab both my wrists and hold them high above my head. My struggles are futile as the need to breathe becomes more and more intense. You finally let go of my neck as I gasp for air and I start panicking trying to get away from you! I can't break free from your strong grip, my wrists throbbing under your weight as you grope my breasts hard. I react by screaming "no!" and "stop!" as loud as I can in your ear. You don't like that one bit; I can tell by the hard open-handed slap you gave my right cheek. The sting burns my face as another one hits the same spot. Tears flow from my eyes uncontrollably as you hold my head against the wall by my forehead and your eyes stare at my face with so much joy, it oddly reminds me of a little boy on Christmas morning.
You say in a calm voice "look at me, beautiful, don't be scared, if you do as I say, you will not be hurt ... that bad." Your fingers on your right hand slowly caress my cheek where you hit me and I blush a violent red all over. You laugh, your grip loosens around my wrists and I feel a sense of compassion come over you. I whisper to you to try and tap into that sensitive side of you: "please, you don't have to do this, I won't say anything, I promise, just please don't do this...". You look like you're deep in thought. I feel hope that you will let me go and a sweet smile comes over your face. My heart starts to sing! The words "He'll let me go! He won't hurt me! Thank you god, thank you!" pass through my mind.
"I know you don't want to hurt me, this isn't you, I know you are good, you don't have to do this," I tell you sweetly and passionately, hoping you will see I'm a person and not a toy.
"I know, I'm sorry, "you say as you let go of my wrists.
"Thank you," I say with a sigh of relief as I grab my wrists to soothe them.
"Did that help you?" you ask. I look you in the eyes with a puzzled expression. "I must be a great actor," you continue, "or you must be one dumb bitch." Your smile fades and a wave of fear and goosebumps come over me again.
"no!" I start to cry, "this isn't happening!"