Chapter 8

On the morning of March 30, 1981, Second Lieutenants Brad Seldon and Jay Hanson reported to Edwards AFB for another series of flight tests. When they were completed and the men returned to the base and reported to their Commanding Officer, they were given some stunning news.

Due to their extreme proficiencies in their flight tests, both of them had been promoted to First Lieutenants. Then Brad was informed that he was scheduled within the next several weeks to be transferred to Houston to begin with the shuttle training aircraft (STA) for NASA. Then Jay was told that he had been slated for transfer to the Air Force's facility at Plant 42 to be a test pilot for some new experimental aircraft they'd been developing.

The CO congratulated both of them as he handed them their new insignias, but their celebration was short-lived. The television outside the office they were in cut to a Special News Bulletin. Brad and Jay jerked around when they heard Megan's voice. Then a group gathered around the TV when they heard what she was saying.

"This is Megan Richards-North reporting for KLAC news. We have just received reports from our affiliates in Washington, D.C. that President Reagan has been shot. He was leaving a Washington hotel after a speaking engagement, waving to a crowd, and then was pushed into his limousine when Secret Service agents heard shots fired. Police and Secret Service quickly subdued the gunman, but three other men were also shot. It was initially thought that the President was unharmed but it was soon discovered that he had been hit and he was immediately driven to George Washington University Hospital. We've been told that he is currently in surgery to remove a bullet that pierced one of his lungs, but his prognosis is good. The other men wounded have been identified as President Reagan's Press Secretary, James Brady, a Secret Service agent and a D.C. police officer whose names have not yet been released. This is all the information we have at this time, but we will bring you more news about this attempted assassination of the President as we learn more. Megan Richards-North for KLAC news, this has been a special news report about the shooting of President Reagan with more news to follow on our regular midday news broadcast. Thank you."

Jay looked at Brad and asked, "Since when has Megan been a regular news broadcaster?"

Brad raised his eyebrows and replied, "I didn't know she was! As far as I knew, she only does her investigative reports for her weekly news show. Maybe she just happened to be at the studio when this story broke and she was the only person they had available to go on the air."

Some of the others standing around heard them and asked how they knew Megan. Brad answered, "I've known Meggie all my life ... we grew up together. She's my half-sister." When he saw the questioning looks on some of their faces, he shook his head as he said, "It's a long story and I'm not going into it!" Then he got back to the news she'd just reported. "There's more important things to think about here, people ... someone tried to kill the President! I'm just glad to hear they caught the bastard! I can't wait to hear if he confesses why he did it," he mumbled as he shook his head in disbelief.

Then a call came in to the CO's office for Jay. Brad watched as Jay's face reflected that whatever the call was about, it was not good news. Jay hung up the phone and approached the CO and Brad heard him requesting a few days of personal leave because he'd just found out that his mother had been involved in an auto accident. Jay was granted leave and he started making arrangements as soon as he got home. A couple of hours later, Jay was arguing with his wife over the fact that he never wanted her to be directly exposed to his past.

"I'm coming with you, Jay!" Didi exclaimed firmly. "I'm your wife and I should be with you at a time like this! I can tell you're angry for some other reason and I don't want you doing anything foolish! So stop fighting me on this!"

"All right ... FINE!" Jay yelled. "YOU can come with me, but J.J. CANNOT! THAT I will NOT agree to! So, if you can't find anyone to take care of him for a few days, YOU are not coming, either! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!!" he barked, using his commanding voice as his wife stared defiantly at him.

"Loud and clear, Lieutenant Hanson," she stated more calmly. "I've already made arrangements with Barbie and Brad. They're more than happy to have J.J. come stay with them since he and Tommy get along so well together. Barbie's on her way over now to pick him and us up and drive us to the Santa Monica airport. Brad's letting us take his plane; he's already called and asked them to get it ready and my bag is already packed and J.J.'s things are ready to go! So we can leave as soon as she gets here."

Jay slumped in resignation. He should've known better than to argue with Didi over something like this. She was always so protective of him whenever he had to deal with anything from his past. His mother had called him out of the blue one night several weeks back, crying, saying that she was sorry for everything he'd suffered as a boy.

Jay had asked her if there was anything going on that she wasn't telling him, but she had denied it, saying she'd just been missing him and had wanted to hear his voice ... Then she'd apologized for disturbing him and had told him not to worry about her, that she was feeling much better after talking to him.

Didi had held Jay for a moment after he hung up because she could feel his sadness and his worry. She'd taken his mind off of it by leading him to their bedroom, undressing him and then kneeling in front of him. She just loved to watch and feel his large, limp dick lengthen and harden into its full, monstrous size as she licked, stroked and sucked his cock and balls.

It drove Jay wild when she sucked his entire shaft into her mouth and throat while he was still soft, but she couldn't keep doing that once he started to get hard! Her mouth was simply not big enough to handle his monster dick! But he still loved the way she sucked and tongued him ... He'd moaned loudly as he came in her mouth that night, "Ahhh fuck, baby ... God you give such good head!!!" as he'd caressed her hair with his hands.

Didi had smiled up at him after she released his softening shaft and kissed his crotch. Then she stated, "Well, you know I had a very good teacher! I was just following your instructions, my love!" She'd grinned impishly as she stood up and kissed him deeply, letting him taste his own semen in her mouth. Then she'd pulled back to stare into his blazing golden eyes and purred, "And now I'm hoping that you'll return the favor ... my pussy is all messy! Think you can clean me up?!!"

Jay had chuckled sexily as he moved to the bed and lay down as he replied, "Oh, baby ... you know how I love to lick your pretty pussy! Get over here and sit on my face, you gorgeous woman!!!" Then he'd stared heatedly as he watched her undress slowly and sensuously. Didi's pussy had been almost dripping from the look in his eyes...

Then she screamed while Jay had tongue fucked her like never before that night ... then they'd fucked like animals until they were both exhausted. As they lay holding each other afterward, Didi had prompted Jay to tell her what had worried him about his mother's phone call earlier that evening, and he'd been surprised at how easy it was for him to talk about it.

Jay realized that she'd figured out how to let him talk about his emotions without feeling too emotional. He didn't like talking about the pain of his past when he was already upset ... he felt foolish at times that a huge, strong man like himself could be reduced to weeping like a little girl! Even though he knew Didi understood him like no one else ever had, it still embarrassed him somewhat when he'd occasionally find himself wallowing in pain, sobbing as he clung to his wife ... who always ended up sobbing with him ... after they'd made love. But his wonderful, caring wife had figured out that wild, animalistic sex took him away from the pain so that he could talk about his feelings rationally.

They arrived at United Hospital in St. Paul, Minnesota late that evening. They went directly to the ICU to check on his mother's status and the ICU staff let them sit with her for a little while. But Jay made Didi wait outside while he went in to see his father in his room. He was adamant that he did not want his wife to meet him.

The accident had been his father's fault ... he'd deliberately run their car off the road and smashed it into a tree. He'd claimed that he was trying to avoid hitting someone, but witnesses who'd stopped to help had told the police there was no one in the road!

Didi put her hand on his cheek as she cautioned him, "Jay ... don't do anything you'll regret. He's a sick man and he's also injured ... don't let your anger make you forget how strong you are! Just be careful, my love ... OK?"

He closed his eyes and nodded briefly before he turned and opened the door to the room. Jay stopped just inside the door and took a deep cleansing breath before he approached his father's bedside. As he moved closer, his father must've heard him because he opened his eyes and looked straight toward him. Jay watched his father's eyes widen with fear as he got closer.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, old man? Didn't I warn you that if anything happened to Mom that was not of natural causes that I'd tear you apart with my bare hands?!! What part of that threat did you not understand?!!" Jay growled quietly.

Louis Hanson rolled his head back and forth on the pillow in confusion as he muttered, "But I didn't mean to do it! We were on our way home from having lunch and I glanced at your mother when she said something, and then all of a sudden I heard a voice yelling that I was about to hit someone, so I just swerved!"

Jay snorted sarcastically, "Just how many Martinis did you have with lunch ... Dad?!!"

The older man closed his eyes and frowned painfully as he whined, "I wasn't drinking!!! I haven't touched a drop in almost two years now! You can even ask your mother!!!"

Jay gritted his teeth and grated, "I can't ask Mom a goddamned thing!!! She hasn't regained consciousness since you slammed her head into the windshield! I swear to you, old man ... if she dies, I will see to it that you pay for it somehow!"

Louis Hanson put his hands to his face as he grimaced in pain and confusion. Then he cried miserably, "I don't want your mother to die!!! This is the first time in over twenty-five years that I've been able to love her the way I've always wanted to! I know I've made her life a living hell ... and yours, too. I drank because it was the only way I could stop the voices!!! When I was sober, I kept hearing all these angry voices screaming inside my head telling me to do all these awful things!!! When I was drunk, they were quieter, but they still kept egging me on..." He paused as he sobbed quietly for a few moments.

Jay stood back and watched with a frown as he saw his father expressing genuine regret for the first time in his life. But he was blaming his behavior on hearing "angry" voices in his head ... maybe he really was sick! His father seemed to calm down a little and started to speak again.

"Just after you informed your mother that you had married, I noticed that the voices had stopped ... it was like ... all of a sudden, they were just ... gone!!! They'd started right after your mother had told me she was pregnant, and they never left me alone until you'd made it clear that you were out of our lives!!!"

His eyes filled with tears again as he stated hoarsely, "I know you'll probably never believe this, son ... but I was overjoyed when your mother told me about you ... I had always hoped to have children! But then those damn voices started up and they kept screaming at me that you weren't my child!!! That you were the spawn of Satan and that I should kill you because you were evil!!! And I started to believe that maybe the voices were right! I swear to GOD ... that's what I lived with inside my head for over twenty years!!! But I couldn't kill you ... even if you weren't my son ... but I blamed you for the voices ... I'm sorry, Jay ... I'm so goddamn sorry!!!" he cried as he burst into louder sobs.

Jay was silent, just watching as the man who'd abused him practically his whole life cried painfully as he poured out his excuses for treating him the way he did. The man was obviously sick ... to be making up such a story to explain away his abusive behavior, but then the story got even weirder...

Louis Hanson controlled his sobbing again and looked pitifully at the man who had every reason in the world to hate him. He figured he owed him the truth ... He sniffed deeply and cleared his throat as he started again.

"The voices were right, Jay ... you're not my son. I married your mother because I was in love with her ... but she didn't love me. Your mother was in love with and engaged to marry my best friend, Jay Howard. You were named for him. He was killed in an auto accident just three months before they were to be married. Your mother was heartbroken and so was I."

He looked away and took a deep, ragged breath before he continued. "We comforted each other, and one night just a couple of weeks after the accident ... your mother let me make love to her. Then a month later she was telling me she was pregnant and that she wanted to marry me." He looked back at Jay. "Like I said, I was overjoyed, but then those damn voices started and, ever since then, I never felt in control of my actions until they just suddenly stopped..."

He paused as he saw Jay frowning at him in disbelief. "I swear to you, Jay ... what I am telling you is the God's honest truth. Your mother just recently confessed to me that she and Jay had been making love ever since he'd proposed to her and she found out a couple of weeks after he was killed that she was pregnant ... which was why she'd let me comfort her, so she could convince me that I was the father so I'd marry her. She had thought I would be a good father for her and Jay's son..."

His voice grew hoarse as tears, once again, filled his eyes. "And I swear to God ... I wanted to be a good father ... but those voices ... I wish to God, now ... after seeing clearly for the first time what I had become, that I had been the one killed in that accident instead of Jay! And I would have if he'd been the one driving ... but a vehicle came out of nowhere and smashed right into the passenger side of the car, killing Jay instantly! Your mother was sitting between us and she was OK because we'd both braced her against the seat with our arms. I wasn't injured too badly ... just banged my head on the side window ... some bruises and scratches ... but Jay was gone!"

The man was wracked by sobs again and Jay could feel his chest tightening as he started to believe the man was telling him the truth. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet as he waited for him to calm down again. When the man he'd grown up believing was his father resumed speaking, a feeling of unease started to settle in the pit of Jay's stomach.

His eyes stared into space. "To this day, I still have no idea why Jay was killed ... the accident had seemed so deliberate. I saw headlights coming right at us, so I beeped the horn, but they just kept coming, so I swerved off the road to avoid it, but the other vehicle swerved right into the side of the car even though it had plenty of time to avoid us!!! Then it took off before I could even tell what kind of vehicle it was ... and the police were never able to find it."

The older man turned his sad eyes toward Jay again. "I felt so guilty after the accident ... thinking that if I had just swerved off the right side of the road, the vehicle would've hit me instead of Jay. I should've been the one killed ... not your father ... he was such a good man. You look a little like him, Jay ... he was a big man ... just like you ... and you obviously inherited his goodness for being able to put up with what I put you through and not killing me."

Then he closed his eyes and frowned as he tried to apologize again. "I'll never understand what happened to me. I know I acted horribly and I wondered at times why I didn't just go insane and give in to those voices ... I wish now I had told some doctor what I was going through, but I was afraid they'd lock me up in an insane asylum! It was easier for people to accept my behavior when they believed it was just because I was an alcoholic. But I should've let them lock me up ... you and your mother did not deserve what I put you through ... and I'll never be able to make up for that. I'm so sorry, Jay..." he ended as tears swam in his eyes.

Jay stared at Louis Hanson ... suddenly realizing that he was relieved to know that the man who'd tortured him his entire childhood was not his father. He was just a sick man who'd had the misfortune of losing his best friend, who was to have married a woman he was in love with, in an auto accident ... that seemed eerily similar to the one that had killed Larry and Maria Wilson just recently ... over 25 years ago!

How much of a coincidence could something like that be?!! Jay's slight feeling of relief was short-lived as a decided knot of unease clenched in his gut. Just then, there was a soft knock on the hospital room door and then Jay saw his wife peeking her head around the door with a look of sadness in her eyes.

Didi frowned as she gathered her strength. She pushed the door open further and went over to stand beside her husband as she stared at the pitiful looking man lying in the bed. She swallowed a lump in her throat and grasped her husband's arm as she started to speak.

"Mr. Hanson ... I'm Didi ... Jay's wife. I'm sorry to tell both of you, but an ICU nurse just came up to say that ... Mrs. Hanson didn't make it. She died about fifteen minutes ago." She saw her father-in-law start to sob silently and then she looked up into her husband's shimmering golden eyes.