I waved at the security guard as if I belonged there and gave him a cheery good morning as I headed for the elevators. I got on and hit the button for the third floor. When the door opened on three I quickly got off and went directly to the employee's bulletin board. I took a piece of paper from my pocket and thumbtacked it to the board and then headed for the men's bathroom. Once inside I went into each of the four stalls and using a magic marker I wrote the same thing on all four of the stall walls. I used the stairwell to go up to the fourth floor where I repeated what I had done on three and then I took the stairwell down to the lobby. I had a huge smile on my face as I walked out the front door of the building.
It has been said over and over again that, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." I've never understood the saying; I could never figure out if it meant that you should wait until the person you wanted revenge on had forgotten about you or if it meant that whatever you did to get your revenge had to be something 'stone cold.'
If it was the former then I didn't have the patience to wait that long and if it was the latter, well, I guess that you could consider what I had just done a very stone cold thing to do. And that was only half of it. The other half took place when I sat at my computer this morning. I figured that all hell would break loose around ten that morning and I had conveniently taken the day off from work and once I had gotten home from running my little errand I took the phone off the hook. Then, everything in place, I grabbed a good book and settled down on the couch to enjoy a nice, leisurely morning.
It all started the way most of these things start — an unexpected trip to the house during the day and finding a familiar car in the driveway. Why would Brian be visiting my house in the middle of the day? The answer was immediately apparent as soon as I was in the front door.
"Damn it Marlene, you are tight. Doesn't Robert fuck you anymore?"
"Not near enough sweetie, and nowhere near as good as you do. Come on lover, push it in deep and fuck me. We only have two hours until you have to go."
I couldn't believe it. It was a fucking cliché — my best friend was fucking my wife! And on top of that she was telling him I wasn't worth a shit in bed. That really hurt. I'd always thought that Marlene and I had a great sex life. Four or five times a week and more often than not twice on those occasions and then a quickie in the morning before heading off to work.
I guess most men would have gone charging into the bedroom screaming and ready to kick ass and take names, but I wasn't most men. My motto since the eighth grade has been, "Don't get mad, get even." I very quietly made my way into my home office and got my mini-recorder and a fresh tape. I crept as close to the bedroom door as I dared, opened the linen closet door a crack and put the recorder where it would pick up the most from the bedroom and then I quietly left the house.
When I got home that night Marlene had dinner ready as usual. She had a fresh pitcher of martinis in the icebox and we sat down and had our usual before dinner cocktail and made small talk.
"How was your day sweetie?"
"Full of the usual bullshit meetings and conference calls. How was yours?"
"Pretty boring. I went shopping for groceries this morning, did a load of laundry and then read a book for the rest of the afternoon."
"No, just one of those Nora Roberts bodice rippers."
"Usual story? Wife having a sordid affair with the hubby's best friend?"
"Yes, pretty much."
After dinner I helped with the dishes and then I went and retrieved my cassette recorder and then went in to my home office to 'catch up on some paperwork'. I rewound the tape, hit the PLAY button and then listened as my wife and my so-called best friend disparaged me between bouts on the bed. What interested me most were the arrangements they made for their next meetings. They planned on getting together the day after tomorrow (tomorrow was out — have to get my hair done you know) and Brian was planning to spend two nights with Marlene when I went out of town the following week. I would like to know how he was going to swing that without his wife finding out what he was up to. Apparently, from their conversation anyway, it would not be the first time Brian had kept Marlene company when I'd gone out of town. Anyway, with that information at hand I began to plan.
It is just flat-assed amazing the information that you can find on the Internet. Two hours of surfing and I had almost all that I needed. A trip to Radio Shack and Electronics Avenue and a credit card got me the rest. I went home during the day when I knew Marlene would be at the hairdressers and then using the information I got off the Net and my purchases I rigged a tape recorder to the phone line and hid a voice activated tape recorder in the bedroom. The rest would have to wait for the weekend which was when Marlene went to visit her mother and sister.
That night when I got home I retrieved the tape from the recorder on the phone line and listened to a ten minute conversation between Brain and Marlene where they told each other how much they missed each other and couldn't wait until the next day when they could again be in each other's arms.
The next day, while Marlene was doing the dishes, I got the tape out of the recorder in the bedroom and later in my office I listened to it. Aside from the sounds of sex I got to listen to the two of them talk about how stupid Bev (Brian's wife) and I were, about how they had been fucking each other for over a year and Bev and I were none the wiser. Brian bad mouthed Bev and said she was lousy in bed. Marlene shot me through the grease by pointing out all my failings (all lies — I swear) and then telling Brian how happy she was that he had come into her life. I put the tape in a safe place and put a fresh one in the recorder.
When I left for Seattle on Monday my bedroom was wired for both pictures and sound. I had three mini-cams positioned to record everything that went on in the bedroom and feed it to three electronically activated VCRs inside a cabinet in my den. A test run had shown that as long as there was light in the room I would get decent pictures.
It was an expensive setup, but fortunately I could afford it. Besides, it would pay for itself in what I wouldn't have to pay out when the time for the divorce came. Motion detectors turned on the cameras and the cameras coming on turned on the VCRs. No motion for five minutes turned off the cameras, which in turn shut down the VCRs. As my flight lifted off I was looking forward to watching some interesting footage when I got home. I was going to be severely pissed if the setup didn't work.
.... There is more of this story ...