Chapter 13: Unexpected Love

From a slovenly, self destructive stand still, Amy's case had me running hard. I found my skills perfect for the civil suit. When not working on it, I began finding connections to investigate the Hell's Angels situation in Amsterdam. Also I started working out more than usual and began learning Jujitsu as well as gun training and knife fighting. My detective friend advised these trainings and I found them fulfilling and invigorating. Amy joined me for all of them and they made her emboldened and self confident--her victimized attitude dissolving.

Perhaps because we remained friends who fucked and didn't take our relationship seriously, being around each other never bothered us. We became exclusive companions. While sharing our life, our differences created diverse perspectives making whatever we did interesting and broadened.

My oldest friend Josh helped me realize Amy and I had a bond deeper than we thought. Since he lived in the city, we tried to have an evening together at least once a month. During my summer stupor he made more frequent contact but not so much to cheer me up as to join me in drunkenness. He found my companionship useful when pursuing the opposite sex. Josh liked to party, to flirt, to drink, to smoke pot, to snort cocaine, and to pick up girls. Being a good looking guy and easy going and funny, he found success often. My presence actually increased his success in both quantity and quality. I enabled him to join women at bars who would normally not appreciate his advances because it would alienate the friend they came with. I ended up with the friend, and my liquor loosened tongue made it less of a chore for either the other girl or me. They might have been less attractive than their friend, but I tended to like them better. Unlike Josh though, I usually ended the night alone--my sexual needs dampened by loss. The exceptions occurred sometimes when I got too drunk as did she which ended embarrassingly, or we discovered a mutual need for sex which ended up lots of fun. Nothing came of these one night stands.

Anyway, when Amy entered my life, the first evening with Josh had him ogling. I let him know our status as friends without strings except those involving the case. She allowed him to charm her, but sex still unsettled her so they simply enjoyed meeting each other.

A second evening Josh didn't even try. In fact by its end he had an attractive brunette to bring home.

On the third evening, I asked him why he stopped flirting with Amy. She likes dancing, and I love watching the way she moves her bounteous body, but I usually need a good buzz going before I embarrass myself on the dance floor. She doesn't wait. That night I watched her dance with a guy for a couple songs. As usual she glanced at me, smiling.

"You guys have a bond, Joe," Josh answered. "Maybe you don't see it or she doesn't, but its there. I'd be as likely to take her from you as I would take Devi."

"Devi and I married for legal reasons," I said even though he knew.

"I hate you sometimes," said Josh. "I'll never have a woman look at me the way Bess or Devi or Amy looks at you. And you don't even realize how much they love you. It's not just Bess, Joe, goddamnit. You may think she's the one and only, and maybe even Devi and Amy accept that, but it ain't so."

"But ... It's not fair to them."

"It's plenty fair. They like being with you. They prefer being with you. They love you, you fucking idiot."

"But you've been with so many beautiful women. It must never get old."

"Does it get old with you?"

"Not so far."

"Even with Lisa?"

"It got old for her. I didn't realize what she wanted. Even if I did, I wouldn't ... play her game."

"But for you?"

"Never."

"It gets old for me. The variety gets old. The game gets old."

"You've had relationships," I pointed out.

"They get old."

"For such a party animal, you're a cranky son of a bitch."

"To tell you the truth, there's this woman in the office. We get along like gangbusters. I never had a female friend really. But for the last few months I look forward to bumping into her--to having her invite me for lunch. The thing is she's plain. Not ugly, just not beautiful. She could lose a little weight and tends to slouch, although with me it's improved. She develops a mustache when she hasn't waxed for a few days. Not the beauty I'm addicted to conquering. Except she is. The more I see her..."

"Call her," I said.

"Now?"

"Please. You're depressing me." We laughed. He told me the same thing many times before Amy or when I divorced Lisa.