Chapter 2

Mother's Little Helper

Chapter Two

"Hey Gina." Gary smiled when he opened his door.

"Uh, hi," I said and this time I didn't have Jilly with me, thank God. That helped a lot, but I was still very nervous.

"Come on in," he said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," I nodded. "Uh, great ... Except I'm out of pills, those, um, green ones."

"Already?" He chuckled. "Here, sit down. Come on, it's okay."

I let him guide me onto his sofa and Gary sat down next to me. His television was still playing the Discovery Channel and I wondered if he ever turned it off, or watched anything else. The room looked nice though, a typical living room, you know. Book case, furniture, an aquarium bubbling away, it felt dark in there though. The drapes were closed and the table lamps turned on, but that gave the room a warm glow anyway and this was a secret. It made me feel better for some reason, being in the dark like that.

"You look a little frazzled," he told me and I looked at him.

"I do?" I wasn't sure if I felt mad or just embarrassed.

"A little." He smiled.

"I, uh ... Uusually I take one in the morning, but..." I cleared my throat.

"Ah, a little green cup of coffee, right." Gary nodded as if it was perfectly reasonable to take drugs five minutes after I brushed my teeth.

"But I'm out," I said, like maybe he hadn't heard me before.

"Yeah, okay," he said. "Look, I've got something here that might help..."

He reached for a ceramic box sitting on the smoked glass coffee table in front of us. It looked like something a child would make, kind of lopsided and painted yellow with blue flowers on it. He lifted the lid and pulled out a small baggie closed with a twist-tie.

"What's that?" I asked him, frowning suddenly because it looked like real drugs. Not pills that a doctor would give you, medicine like those greens; this was something white and powdery and I didn't like it very much.

"A little something to jump start you, okay?" He smiled, opening the bag while I watched.

"I don't know..." I licked my lips, shaking my head. "I just want some more pills, okay?"

"Hmmm ... I'm not sure if I have any more greens," Gary said, giving his cheek a pensive suck.

"W-What?" I blinked at him.

"I'll have to see, but let's do some of this first, okay?" he spoke gently. "After you try this, I'm sure you'll feel better."

"But I can't ... Where's the pills?" My heart was thumping and I couldn't breathe. He couldn't be out! I had stuff to do, I had things to take care of. I needed those pills.

"Shhh ... This is better than those pills, trust me." He smiled and poured some of the powder onto the glass. He reached the ceramic box for a razorblade, making lines of the stuff and I'd only seen that done in movies. I knew nothing about drugs and I didn't want to.

"I don't ... I don't do ... that sort of thing," I stammered. "What is it?"

"It's just a little coke," he said. "Come on, it's free anyway. No charge. You're gonna feel like a million dollars."

"Please, no ... I can't do it. I have kids. Jilly is at day care and..." I glanced at my watch and when I looked back up Gary was holding a short straw in his fingers.

"You like the pills, right?" he asked me. "You need some? I'll get you some ... After we do this, okay?"

"You promise?" I asked and his hazel eyes smiled into mine.

"I promise, Gina." He put the straw between my fingers and his right arm went around my shoulders. I frowned at that, not liking the sudden closeness of it. I didn't want him touching me, but I didn't stop him.

I looked at the lines, two of them, long and thin and waiting for me. He held gently, but his hand gripped my shoulder. He pushed me down, not really forcing me so much as insisting. I looked at him and then back down, and if this was the only way to get my pills...

I snorted the first line, doing it quickly, inhaling sharply so that the white powder went deep in my nose, into my nasal cavity. It stung a little, which surprised me and I jerked and pinched my nose. I think I had some small tears in my eyes.

"The other one, do it up quick now," he said and Gary's face was close to mine as we hunched together over the short table.

I did it, just like he wanted, taking the other line in my other nostril, sniffing it up deeply and wincing at the strange sensation. I sat back up, sort of catching my breath and wishing my heart would slow down.

Then it hit me all at once, a huge rush of ... Something. I blinked rapidly and I could taste the drug in the back of my mouth. My skin seemed to grow cold, so cold it felt hot, and I giggled. I wasn't dizzy, not exactly, just giddy and light headed and my blood rushed through my veins. I was high, floating and full of energy and I could feel everything. Smell and see and hear everything in the world it seemed like.

"Better?" Gary asked and he began rubbing my body, stroking my bare arms with his hands. My shoulders and back and tummy and thighs, and it felt good, really good wherever he touched me.

I smiled back at him, nodding and wondering why I'd been so worried. That stuff was like the pills except better, like all at once instead of a little a time, which makes no sense, but it's true. He kept massaging my shoulders and his mouth was so close, his breath in my ear. The air felt hot and humid and the tip of his tongue tickled me. When I turned my flushed face to tell the man to stop, I found him kissing me instead.

"Mmmphh..." I widened my eyes and felt his hand on my breasts, squeezing one and then the other while his thick tongue explored my mouth. I didn't know what we were doing.

I should have been stopping him. I was married, some part of me said, and the rest of me thought that was pretty funny. I was married, sitting in the house of a drug dealer and snorting cocaine. Oh, that seemed funny as hell. His tongue filled my mouth and I'd started sucking on it, I realized. I didn't want to, but I did it anyway. I arched my back and pushed myself against his hand as Gary cupped my left tit, groping me through my blouse and bra, working my body hard, like hurting me because he really liked to squeeze hard.

It didn't hurt though, my nipples sprang to burning life and I kissed him back, chasing his tongue inside his mouth and then I stopped. I pushed myself away. My head felt on fire and I licked my lips, knowing I was fucked up. That cocaine had messed me up inside. I shook my head, giggling and telling Gary no. I'm married. I love my husband. I love my kids. But then he started kissing me again and I forgot all of that somehow. I grew hot for it, my pussy trembling with excitement and my nipples were stiff and aching for freedom and a kiss, a bite, a lick.

"Down ... Lie down..." Gary whispered, pushing me onto the cushions and I wasn't fighting him.

I was laying down on his sofa, my feverish mind reeling beneath the influence of those drugs he'd given me and even knowing that didn't change anything. I felt helpless and not really horny at all. I wasn't desperate for sex, or filled with uncontrollable lust. I was just unable to say no, it seemed. I enjoyed the sensations and I told myself it would be okay. Just one time, nobody would know. Gary was going to give me those pills and it would be just another secret.

It would be fun.

He pushed my skirt up and time seemed to go forwards and backwards, so that sometimes it seemed like I was still sitting there, still holding the straw. And then I'd blink and see Gary's face above me, feeling his cock moving inside me. I tried pushing him away and giggled, or sitting on the sofa crying, or floating in the air and looking down at us. My legs were spread and my skirt bunched around my hips. My panties were hopelessly askew, exposing my sex as my swollen labia clung to the long, thick shaft between them. He was fucking me and it felt good. Gary kept telling me I was beautiful and sexy, and he'd pull his cock free of my juicing cunt, only to drive it completely inside a second later. Over and over and over until somewhere in there, towards the end, I finally started coming back down.

"Gary ... Gary! Oh shit ... Pull out!" I shook my head, staring up at him. "God! What are we doing?"

"It's okay ... This is good, Gina ... Fuck, you're hot inside," he replied, smiling at me, pinning me to the sofa with his glistening penis sliding in and out of me quickly.

"No ... Please ... God! Get off me! I'm not ... I'm not protected," I practically screamed, fighting him then as my senses returned. Reality asserted itself brutally and I had another man inside me. I'd never cheated in my life. I'd never even let another man see me naked, no one but Jack had ever made love to me.

I'd never wanted another man and now this guy, this drug dealer that I only barely knew was inside my pussy. Oh Jesus, what was I doing? Why had I done that cocaine or whatever it was? I had to be insane. I was being raped! I pushed and yelled at him, and thankfully Gary did pull out, at the last possible second. I froze, staring down at his fat prick as he jerked himself off on my pussy.

He sprayed his hot sperm onto my sex, into the thin patch of curling brown pubic hair, onto my hard little clit and my swollen pussy lips, already glazed with the juices from our fuck. Now he was adding his semen to the mix, spilling it all over my cheating pussy like a big white stain. I felt the tears filling my eyes and I swallowed hard.

"Fuck ... I knew you'd be a good lay, Gina," Gary told me, still smiling and finishing his orgasm with some heavy slaps of his cockhead against the soft swell of my pubic mound. "I knew you were gorgeous, but the proof is in the pudding, huh?"

"You asshole," I breathed, wincing as he moved his hips and let his heavy penis ride across my lower tummy. "Why did you do that to me?"

"Shit, you did it to yourself," he laughed, pushing himself off me. "Pull up your panties, Princess, I'll get your pills."

"Fuck you." I glared at him.

"Don't want them now?" He shrugged. "I only have twenty left, I know Stacy wants more. I should save them for her anyway."

"No..." I closed my eyes tightly and I hated myself just then.

Even after being raped by the man, I couldn't say no to those pills. I'd become so weak, so lost. I told myself I had to have them though. If I didn't get the pills, I'd have been raped for nothing and that seemed somehow worse to my corrupt mind. At least this way I could rationalize it.

"What? You do want them now?" Gary asked and he knew everything. I didn't bother to answer.

I pulled up my panties while he left the room to get my pills. I didn't even clean myself up first. I just wanted to leave, to get my pills and get out. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of asking to use his bathroom, or even asking for a paper towel. That's what he wanted, it seemed to me. Gary wanted me to be ashamed and humiliated by what he'd done to me and I had to prove to him that it meant nothing. I didn't feel a thing.

Life goes on and I got over what had happened. It felt like a dream anyway. I hadn't been myself. I'd been on drugs, so it wasn't my fault. That's what I told myself and so long as I could take one of those pills every morning things would turn out fine. My family was happy. My husband loved me again and this was the life I'd always imagined. I had everything under control, all the time. I was a supermom and people noticed. My friends congratulated me on how well I looked, how happy I seemed to be. Stacy knew my secret and she kept it, only smiling and occasionally teasing me in a friendly way.

She didn't know what Gary had done to me though, and I didn't tell her. I didn't tell her I'd started taking two pills every day either. I had to. One wasn't enough for some reason and I thought maybe Gary had given me some bad ones. It worked well enough all morning, but after lunch I started losing the edge. I'd start getting nervous and the smallest thing would make me depressed or even angry. I would find myself yelling at Jilly, making her cry over nothing, and that made it worse.

I had to take a pill every afternoon. I had no choice anymore. But two pills a day...

"There she is," Gary said, obviously happy to see me again and I frowned at him.

"I need some more," I said, stepping into his house without waiting for an invitation.

"Come on in, Gina," he offered, closing the door behind me.

"I need more than twenty, though." I had a hundred dollar bill ready and I held it up so he could see it.

"Okay, sure. I got some just the other day," he agreed, but he wasn't reaching for my money.

"Good." I gave him a wan smile, nodding impatiently.

"Let's relax first. Come on." Gary put a hand in the small of my back and I pushed it away.

I'd dressed down deliberately just for him. Old jeans and a heavy sweater. Very little makeup and my blonde hair was pinned up. I hadn't made much of an impression on the other mom's at Jilly's preschool, but I didn't care.

"Just ... Give me the pills, okay?" I sucked my lips.

"I will, but I gotta have something back," he told me and I narrowed my eyes. "You know what I want, Princess."

"No." I shook my head.

"Oh, come on." Gary put his hand on me again, pushing me towards the sofa. "I got some more of that good cola too. You liked that a lot, didn't you? I've got plenty, I'll even give you some to take home."

"I don't want that stuff," I replied quickly.

"No charge," he said gently. "Not for you, Gina. You're my favorite customer. Come on now, sit down for a minute."

"Gary ... Please?" I begged him with my eyes. "I'm married. I've got three kids."

"So?" He shrugged. "They don't have to know, do they? This is our deal, just me and you."

We were sitting down and I frowned at that, not knowing how we'd gotten there. It had just happened.

"I love my husband," I said. "I can't have sex with you."

"Sure, yeah," he nodded, stroking my back with his fingertips. "You're such a good wife, Gina. I admire that, I really do. It must be hard being good all time. You just need a little help, right?"

"Yeah, just help me," I agreed, thinking maybe he understood finally. "I need the pills."

"I know. Here, just a little snort first," he said and I laughed, shaking my head.

"No, no, no ... Gary. Not again, okay?" I said. "I'll pay you more, how about that? I have, um ... Another twenty, okay? Three dollars a pill."

"No, the same price," he said. "But only after we do some lines. I promise, I won't do anything this time."

"You promise?" I stared at him. "You mean it?"

"Yeah, absolutely." He smiled, getting into his ceramic box again.

I didn't trust him, but I had to have the pills. That cocaine hadn't been so bad anyway, except for the sex part. Everything else ... Wow! It had been pretty wonderful. Even the sex had been great, I had to admit, until that stuff had worn off. I could do more of it, if he'd leave me alone. I'd do some coke and get high and feel good, so long as I could trust him. I had to trust him, he was my drug dealer.

I snorted two long lines and it made me feel just as good as before, even better in fact, because Gary kept his word. He just touched me a little and then only on my back and shoulders. I felt amazingly good, ecstatic and full of life. Gary was minding his manners, being trustworthy, and I talked to him about my kids, of all things. I told him about Amy and how she always wanted to argue over every little thing. I told him about JJ and his soccer team and how proud I was of him. And Jilly, my precious Angel, how she was so smart and already knew her ABC's and everything. I was full of love, that's what the cocaine did to me that day. It just swelled up my heart like a balloon and everything I loved about my family came pouring out in a flood of words.

After it was over, I just sat there smiling happily and it had been the best experience of my life, I thought. I had no idea anything could make me feel that good.

"Here now, see?" Gary stroked my hair, playing with the golden bun on top of my head. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No." I giggled. "Not bad at all."

"You take this with you, okay? There's two grams there, a little more," he said, giving me that small plastic bag.

"But ... How much is it?" I asked, knowing that stuff had to be expensive.

"Don't worry," he said with a reassuring smile. "We're friends, remember? Let me get your pills."

I stared at the baggy in my hand and it didn't weigh anything, but it felt heavy just the same. Cocaine. That was a real drug, not a pill. It was illegal and bad and I'd be in so much trouble just for having it. My good sense told me to leave it. I didn't need it, not like I needed those greens. But did I want it? I'd liked that rush a lot. More than a lot, I'd loved it and yeah, I wanted to feel it again. Coke. I was using cocaine now and I shut my eyes tightly, telling myself to drop it on the table and forget about it, but I put it inside my purse instead.

"Here, I only have twenty five though." Gary smiled apologetically. "But I'll give them to you for fifty."

"Twenty five?" I did quick mental calculations. They might last two weeks. "Okay, um ... Yeah."

"Hey, Gina." Gary stopped me, grabbing my arm as I turned to leave.

"Huh?"

"Next time, can you dress a little nice for me?" he asked, treating me to his best smile. "Let your hair down maybe? It's so pretty."

"Uh ... I ... I'll think about it," I replied, shrugging as I made my hasty getaway.

I managed to get ten real good lines out of those two grams of coke. I spread it out, doing two lines every few days, in the afternoons when Jilly took her nap and I had some time alone. I always felt so good when I did that stuff. Cocaine. It buzzed my brain like nothing else. It made me numb and alive and dreamy and hyperactive all at once. It was crazy and even after the real rush was gone, maybe thirty minutes or so later, the euphoria stayed for another hour, maybe two hours, like walking an inch or so above the floor.

Life was perfect for two weeks.

"I, um ... Can I get more of that cocaine too?" I asked, clearing my throat as I sat with Gary on his sofa.

"You like that stuff, huh?" He grinned at me and his fingers were playing with my hair, which was long and silky and falling free across my shoulders like he'd wanted.

"Yeah, it's ... Good." I shrugged with a self-conscious smile.

I crossed my legs, pulling my short skirt down to mid-thigh. I'd dressed nicely, even sexily for Gary, because I wanted him to give me more of that coke. It was wrong, I knew it, but I'd only had a little, enough for those five afternoons over two full weeks. That wasn't a lot. I wasn't hurting anyone with it. I just wanted to feel good and it helped my family. Like those green and white pills. They weren't just for me; they were for Jack, and the kids too. All of us were so much happier now and I was in control, that's the best part. I'd been afraid of that cocaine controlling me, but it wasn't like that at all.