A Time of Purgatory
Chapter 5: Tim and Jas meet

Copyright© 2009 by Texrep

Over the next few days I was like a dog at a bone, worrying at a decision. There were two voices in my head diametrically opposed as to what I should do. I was very aware that meeting Jas would probably trigger an invective in me that would not be contained, yet at the same time my desire to see her again was pressing. Eventually I took the cowards way absolving myself of the decision. I would enlist Pippa's aid to pass a message to Jas, to see if she wanted to meet.

Pippa was angry with me for ducking the matter, but against her better judgement agreed to phone Jas.

"Tim you should be doing this." I nodded unhappily.

"Yes, I know Pippa. But over the phone I might be bitter and angry with her, seeing her may calm me down."

Pippa picked up her mobile, and called Jas. I could only hear her side of the conversation

"Jas, I have spoken to Tim and he has asked me to pass on a message. If you want to meet, he will come to see you, or you can come to see him, on Friday evening, about seven-thirty." She listened as Jas replied.

"I think he does want to see you Jas, other wise he wouldn't have suggested a time and date." More listening.

"If you don't want to see Tim, why go to the bother of writing that letter ... Oh you do want to see him."

"Jas. That is not fair. All I am doing is passing on the message. Tim should have phoned you, but he ducked out. I am not going to get involved any more than passing on his words. But I warn you, be prepared for some harsh words." Pippa listened for a moment then put her hand over the microphone.

"Jas says this Friday at your place, seven-thirty is that ok?" I nodded,

"He says yes, Jas."

I waited impatiently that Friday. I was ready for Jas's arrival at seven. I spent the next half hour pacing up and down, arguing with myself and making frequent trips to the window every time I heard a car. At seven-thirty one, I was convinced that Jas wasn't coming. The bell rang at seven-thirty three.

I opened the door.

"Hello Jas." She looked frightened.

"Hello Tim." I held the door and stepped back a little, my body language inviting her to step in. She made a move as if she wanted me to take her in my arms. I made no gesture to do that and she walked down the short hall to the Lounge. I offered Tea, Jas nodded and I went to put the kettle to boil. Jas wandered around a little looking at the furniture, curtains and colour schemes. The kitchen was only divided from the lounge by a breakfast bar so conversation was easy.

"Nice flat." She remarked. I looked over the breakfast bar and agreed.

"It's Ok, small as you see but it does me for what I want. Pippa helped with the colours, you know I was never good at that." Jas smiled and relaxed a little.

"Yes. Your ideas would have left you with a terrible clash." We were fencing around, neither wanting to get to the nub of the matter that brought us here. I came back with the mugs, and was going to put them on the coffee table, when Jas grabbed a couple of coasters to put under the mugs. She pointed to a number of rings on the polished wood where I had placed a hot mug without thinking. She tutted. That was Jas, ever alert to the little mistakes of life. She sipped a little of the hot tea then took a deep breath.

"Tim. Let me say how very, very sorry I am. Why I didn't wait to talk to you I just don't know. I won't make excuses, there are none. I was totally unjust and stupid. How I could believe for even a moment that the man I loved absolutely, and who loved me would do something like that ... I don't know. I was crazy." Jas pulled a tissue from her handbag and wiped her eyes, there seemed to be quite a few tissues in her handbag, as if she came prepared for more than a few tears. I stayed quiet, fighting hard to keep the anger down and speak calmly.

"I don't know why you would act that way either Jas. Had I ever done or said anything that could make you think for even a moment that I would cheat? Had I not been a good husband to the wife I loved more than anything, the woman I worshipped?" I could feel my voice getting louder and more aggressive as I spoke. "The worst thing was just leaving without talking. Jas we always talked, we always resolved our problems, the few we had by talking. But no, not this time you just took your stuff and ran." I took a breath trying to calm myself. "Do you know what it is like to come home and find that the person your life revolved around has gone, taken all her things with her, except the rings. Oh yes the rings. Just left on the dressing table. The rings that I had given her as a symbol of my love and commitment to her. The rings that symbolised our bond for life. The message was obvious, but there was no note, nothing to tell me what I had done wrong. Couldn't you at least have left me a note? Then I would have known what the problem was, but no, not you, no word just run. Can you understand what it felt like?" Tears ran down my cheeks, out of control. "Everything, all our plans, hopes, ambitions. All gone. And no reason." Despite my determination not to lose my temper, I had. I tried breathing deeply, endeavouring to regain composure.

 
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