When I get asked for advice it comes in two varieties:
How do I write a story?
How do I have sex with a dog?
Since having sex with dogs is a lot easier than writing, I'll answer that one first. This is something I wrote ages ago and let me say first off that it's based on an anonymous guide which was evidently written by a man, since it had zero information about women/dog liaisons. I rewrote it for some friends and a few websites adding the female perspective and editing the male specific information with assistance of a friend who is knowledgeable about such things. So this is not entirely my own work and I would love to credit the original author, but well over half of what is here is mine alone and the remainder edited and rewritten for content and grammar, as I say.
The finished article has been passed around, edited, claimed, and unclaimed by other people, organizations, and web sites. I don't really care because I threw it in the public domain for free like I do most of my stuff. The text you see here has been altered from my original draft but the pertinent information remains accurate and hopefully helpful to persons interested in the subject. This copy is intended for SOL 05/09
Disclaimer: You should never be afraid to consult professional advice regarding your health and that of your dogs. I'll admit that you may have to think fast and be creative at times, but there are very real medical issues to consider ... The author is NOT a veterinarian, although significant contributions to this guide were made by a sympathetic licensed veterinarian who was kind enough to edit the final proof before posting. All grammar and spelling errors are mine alone, as are any mistakes in the subject matter itself. I bear full responsibility for any inaccuracies and gratefully acknowledge the contributions of my editors: Bennix (he loves dogs!) and R.A.Starling V.M.D. who provided me with technical information and gentle suggestions and encouragement. Without those two wonderful men I would have spent most of my time talking about my dogs and not explaining a darn thing. -rr
Part I - GUIDE TO SEX WITH FEMALE DOGS
1 - Getting Started
The female dog normally comes on her first heat between the ages of nine and fifteen months. Attempting intercourse with her at this time is not recommended since these changes in her biochemistry are confusing enough without having you trying to do weird things to her. I would strongly suggest waiting until her second heat if all appears normal.
2 - Finding the right bitch for you
As a rule of thumb, any medium to large breed of dog should have no problem accommodating a healthy, averaged size human male. If you're like me and have a strap-on, be sensible bout the length and girth. Unlike some women I know, most bitches do not have a size fetish and the last thing you want to do is hurt the one you love. Proceed slowly and gently at first and at the first sign of discomfort in the bitch, STOP! and pull out. I'll get into more specific warning signs and safety precautions in another section of this text.
3 - Preparation is the key!
In preparing to have sex with your dog, you'll need to run down to the local drug store and pick up some KY Jelly. I use that stuff for everything. If you can't find any, Wet and Astro-Glide, both of which can be found at your local porn palace will work as well. Surgical lubricants, like the stuff Doc puts on his finger when you bend over, will work wonderfully. You can buy it by the gross at a medical or veterinary supply outlet. DO NOT use petroleum or oil based lubricants.
Buy, beg, or steal some latex gloves, the sort doctors wear. If you're going to be messing around with a stray dog or any dog you don't own, it doesn't hurt to rubber up! You can get infections or a fever from bitches with vaginal infections or brucellosis (Bang's disease).
Use Condoms! If sharing a dog with your Uncle Bob or picking up a stray for a one night stand, protect yourself. Dogs do not carry AIDS, however it is possible that the virus may survive long enough in a canine vaginal environment to be retransmitted to another (human) partner. That goes for all forms of STDs. Dogs are susceptible to yeast and bacterial infection and those may certainly be passed along to humans.
Purchase some surgical soap. The real stuff. Avoid an abrasive soap like Lava. Irish Spring smells nice, but what you want is surgical soap, ask your pharmacist. What are you going to do with it? Clean yourself. Clean your hands, clean your cock, clean your big toe if you intend to insert it into your bitch. Clean your toys, you lesbian dog lovers. Wash your strap-on before and after every use.
A bitch's vagina is a very vascular area and, especially when in heat, is quite susceptible to infection. Use your nail clippers and trim your fingernails if you intend to finger your dog. Fingernails are often dirty and sharp and you do not want to scratch the delicate inner lining of a bitch's vagina. Cut those nails down and file them nice and smooth. You'll also look stunning with your new manicure!
And lastly, MilkBones! Buy these with everything else if you really want to squick the counter people :)
4 - In the trenches
Once you've got your bitch and your supplies, it's time to get to work. I do not suggest attempting sex with a bitch out of season, especially if she is not your dog. You may wind up getting bitten, which may mean changing your name to John Wayne Bobbitt. A bitch in heat is your best bet, but just because she's wet and smells nice doesn't mean she's in the mood. How can you tell if she's wants it? Check the discharge. The discharge of a bitch in "Standing Heat" should be pinkish/creamy white in color. This period lasts for between seven and nine days and is in the middle of the complete heat cycle.
If the discharge is a dark, blood red, she's just coming into or going out of heat. It never hurts to try but DO NOT force her. She may say no the first time. Bitches are known to tease and may jump forward or fall over in front of you. However, if she reacts with hostility to your loving advances, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Always remember that for a dog, no really does mean no.
Definite signs that a bitch is receptive are: Flagging - raising of the tail over the back exposing the genitals; Soliciting - rubbing her butt in your crotch, sitting on your face, etc; and Play Posing - being excessively playful, jubilant, etc.
Once you're both consenting, you may consider some foreplay. Fingering her will bring you both hours of joy and amusement. The bitch's "clitoris" is located about 3/4-1" into the vagina in large breeds, and somewhat less than that in smaller breeds. The clitoral ridge is fairly prominent and easy to find with a gentle finger. Rubbing this will cause her to start thrusting and she'll love you for every moment of it. If she's your dog or if you're certain she's healthy, you may want to engage in some "puppylingus." Most bitches have a bitter-sweet taste when in standing heat and I definitely recommend the aroma. Note: For information on making out with your bitch, see below. (Part II Number 6)
When all the teasing is done, it's time to start your engines! The vagina of a female dog takes a sharp turn upward so you will have to enter from a seventy-five to eighty degree angle. The average body temperature of a dog is 101-102 degrees Fahrenheit so expect her to very hot and moist. I don't believe I need to tell you what to do from here on in. Enjoy yourself and treat her to a milkbone!
5 - Out of heat and spayed bitches
If the bitch is your own, you may want to try her out of heat. The same rules apply except be sure and use an excessive amount of lube and be very careful. Take it slowly and gently. You can do a lot of damage if you try and force her and that'll be a difficult one to explain to the vet.
Most spayed bitches cannot have intercourse because of the removal of their reproductive organs. They do not come into heat and very few show any interest in sex. You can try fingering a spayed bitch or going down on her, but I'd strongly advised against intercourse unless you have extensive experience and are very familiar and comfortable with your bitch.
6 - Anal Sex
The same rule of thumb for size applies to anal sex as well. There are some dogs that like anal sex, others that tolerate it and those that can't stand it. Most dogs will not be immediately comfortable with anal sex, but if you really want to try it ... Note: If your dog reacts with an expression of pain or anger, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Your dog is probably not suited for anal intercourse. It isn't a mood thing, it's a dog thing.
How to: Start by touching the anal area of your dog and let them get comfortable with it. Do not dive right in and start insert everything all at once. Wait until the dog freely allows you to touch him/her under the tail. Be patient. While touching around the tail, wear surgical gloves. Numerous worms and bacteria which can cause a variety of illnesses can be found in dog feces. NEVER MAKE ORAL CONTACT WITH A DOG'S ANUS. The result could be a nasty infection or a case of tape, ring, or hookworms, among others.
.... There is more of this story ...