One Fine Day

by sourdough

Caution: This Humor Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Pregnancy, .

Desc: Humor Story: A day in the life of a serial breeder. A dialog only tale.

"Good morning, madam! It's a nice day, isn't it?

"Yes it is."

"My I ask you a quick question?"

"You're not a Jehovah's Witness, are you?"

"No I'm not.

"Then what's your question?"

"Would you consider having my baby?"

"What did you say?"

"I said--"

"I heard what you said. Are you crazy?"

"Not that I know of."

"You can take my word for it. You belong in a loony bin."

"I assure you I'm quite harmless."

"I'm not so sure about that. I'm warning you. I'm proficient in two types of martial arts. I also have pepper spray and a scream that'll curdle your blood if you so much as lay a hand on me."

"I'll remember that. Then may I assume that you're not interested in having my baby?"

"You have that right."

"Well, as the saying goes, the selling begins after the customer says no."

"You mean you're not through?"

"I've just begun. I'm certain I can convince you that having my baby is a perfectly good idea."

"I don't think so."

"Are you married? I can understand it if you think that your husband might object."

"I'm divorced."

"Do you have any children from this prior union? They may like a little brother or sister."

"I'm afraid not."

"Do you have any romantic prospects?"

"I've sworn off men for a while."

"Well then, I think I've come along just in the nick of time."

"You mean you're my white knight and you've come to save me from a childless future?"

"That's it exactly! Have your children while you're young enough to enjoy them and to heck with the sperm donor."

"Even if I bought your argument, why would I choose you to be my ... sperm donor?"

"Why not?"

"I can think of a thousand reasons. For one thing, I don't even know your name."

"Clark Kent Smith at your service. I can see your skeptical smile but it's true. My father is a Superman comics fan. My sister was christened Lois Lane Smith. She continued the joke be marrying a guy named Perry White. And who do I have the honor of addressing?"

"My name is Donna Ferguson."

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Donna. It's always good to know the name of my future child's mother."

"You seem to have forgotten that I have 999 other reasons for refusing you, Clark."

"Hang the reasons, Donna. Haven't you ever had a one-night stand?"

"Well, yes but I blame that on the fact that I wasn't thinking too clearly at the time."

"That's exactly my point. The nightclub was most probably overcrowded and filled with stale smoke. The music was too loud. The fellow that you just met that evening kept plying you with alcoholic drinks and offering to escort you home. The next thing you knew you woke up with a splitting headache. The fellow was lying beside you and he wasn't nearly as handsome and charming that you thought he was when you were boozed up. Am I right or am I wrong?"

"You're pretty much right but I did regret those times. That counts for something, doesn't it?"

"I suppose so."

"Besides, if I'm going to have a guy's baby, I want to be married to him or at least have known him for more than five minutes."

"So you want commitment. Is that it?"

"That's it exactly, as you would put it."

"So eventually you'll go back into the dating scene and hope for the best. In the meantime your parents will be constantly asking you about when you're going to give them a grandchild and stuff like 'why couldn't you have had a baby when you were married to what's-his-name.'"

"That's scary. It's almost like you've been eavesdropping on the conversations my parents have been having with me."

"Of course they're worried about whether they'll have any grandchildren to dote on before they get too old to enjoy them."

"So has anyone fallen for this pickup line of yours?"

"I don't consider it a pickup line, Donna. When a man sees a woman he finds extremely attractive the first thing he wants to do is make children with her. I find the direct approach saves a lot of time, effort and deception for both me and my prospective mate.

"The women I've met have invariably reacted like you but they come to appreciate my honest approach. Not a few of them had already been thinking about becoming single mothers without the extra marital duties and obligations that comes from having a husband."

"I've read about women deciding to do that but I don't think I could. I'd be too scared."

"Single motherhood has been happening since the dawn of time. It will continue to happen as long as mankind exists. I have a feeling you could manage it successfully."

"You do, huh? Well, this is where I live. Uh, you wouldn't want to come in for a drink, would you? I mean I'm not inviting you in because I want you to do what you want to do but I'm kind of interested in hearing more about these other women, you know?"

"I'd be more than happy to visit with you, Donna. Perhaps I'll be able to convince you to change your mind."

"I doubt that but you can try. What would you like to drink?"

"I'll have what you're having. Your home is nicely decorated."

"Thank you. Well?"

"Well what?"

"I thought you'd start trying to seduce me the moment we got through the door."

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Consensual / Pregnancy /