Chapter 3

Scott looked over at Joanna where she sat asleep, slumped against the passenger door of his truck. Scottie sat in his booster seat in the back of the four door cab, also asleep. Scottie had sacked out less than thirty minutes into the long drive home. Joanna had stayed awake, talking over the coming confrontation with Danielle. Her frazzled nerves and the events of the past several days finally caught up with her and she had begun nodding.

Scott admired her profile, reaching over to take one of her soft hands in his calloused ones. She had objected to him making the long drive, worried about where he would stay when he got there. Pointing out that according to her only three of the five bedrooms in the house she shared saw regular use was logic she couldn't overcome. They both knew, however, that Scott would be sleeping in her bed.

Renting a car dolly from a nationwide rental place was simple, and allowed them all to ride in one vehicle. Scott's powerful diesel pickup pulled Joanna's car with no effort. He also pointed out she would save money not paying for gas if he towed the vehicle.

Scott finally woke Joanna as he took the exit off I-55 that Joanna had told him to take. It took a moment for her to get her bearings before she could direct him. Twenty minutes later they pulled into the drive of a large three story home. Joanna cursed under her breath as Scott brought the truck to a halt.

"What's the matter," he asked Joanna.

"Danielle's here," Joanna answered with a sigh. "I was hoping to put this off until tomorrow, I'm really tired."

"Then we go straight to your room, telling her that we'll discuss it in the morning." Joanna shrugged at Scott's suggestion.

"I guess we might as well get it over with tonight. If I'm worried about it all night I'll never sleep." She looked at Scott for agreement. He shrugged, knowing she was right.

Once inside they were met by Michelle and Cheryl, who took Scottie from Joanna. Scott was carrying their bags and Michelle led him upstairs and pointed out Joanna and Scottie's rooms.

"Danielle's room is just down the hall and the bathroom is across from it. She's been in her room since she got here about two hours ago. She apologized to us and said to tell you she'll stay in her room except to use the bathroom."

Scott stared at the closed door for a moment, fighting the urge to storm through the door and confront the woman hiding in there. Michelle saw the emotions playing across his face and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

"Later," she said. "You just got here and I'm sure you are all tired from the trip."

Scott nodded and headed back down the stairs. He didn't see Danielle's door open a crack, or Michelle pointedly shake her head at the young woman who looked out the opening. Michelle followed him after a moment, a little worried by Scott's presence and the size of the uniformed man. He looked rather imposing, and kind of hot, she thought as she followed him down the stairs.

While she was a lesbian she had dallied on the other side of the fence once or twice, just to see what it was like. The first time was a success, the second quite forgettable. Since then she hadn't had the urge to spend time in that manner with a male of the species, but might reconsider where Scott was concerned.

Cheryl saw the speculative look on Michelle's face as she gazed at Scott's broad back. Knowing her lover well she grinned. She didn't mind if Michelle hopped the fence occasionally, it seemed to fire the woman up, making her more passionate in bed. She had never done so herself, but looking at Scott she had to admit he was handsome. She just had never felt the urge to try sex with a man.

Once he returned downstairs Scott joined Joanna in the living room while she readied Scottie for bed. He watched as she changed him, putting on his pajamas and feeding him. Scottie could barely keep his eyes open even though he had slept half the day on the ride home. Soon he was nodding off and Scott picked him up, taking him up the stairs to his room.

Joanna followed and they worked together, getting their son in bed and settled for the night. Joanna felt a lump grow in her throat; this was the life she could have had if she hadn't pushed Scott away. Tears filled her eyes as she watched Scott say goodnight to his son, her guilt still strong within her. Scott noticed the tears and brushed them away wordlessly. He understood how she was feeling, but was just too happy to be here to bring up old wounds.

His silent acknowledgement of her feelings helped Joanna and she grabbed his hand, pulling him out into the hall. Joanna kissed Scott fiercely, taking his breath away. They stood for a moment wrapped in each other's arms, taking in the moment. A sound down the hall drew Joanna's attention and she saw a dejected looking Danielle leaning against her doorway.

The woman's face was a mess, makeup streaked by tears, smeared mascara giving her raccoon eyes. Her face was red and puffy and it was obvious she had been crying. Her shoulders were slumped and seeing Joanna in Scott's arms seemed to deflate the woman. She dropped her gaze and turned back into her room, closing the door softly behind her.

Joanna gasped softly. Scott looked over his shoulder in time to see the door swing shut. Joanna pulled away from him, looking after Danielle and chewing her bottom lip. Scott waited patiently, knowing that he had to let Joanna work through this thing with Danielle at her own pace. He would be there to support her, but it was something she needed to do on her own.

"Come on," Joanna said suddenly, "let's get this over with." She led Scott down the hall and knocked softly on Danielle's door. The call to come in was soft and Joanna pushed the door open slowly. Danielle sat on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees which were tucked under her chin. She looked at them through tear blurred eyes.

Scott got his first look at his nemesis and was not impressed. He saw a broken woman, her defeat written on her face. What made it worse for her he reasoned was that she had done this herself. Had she not tried to control Joanna's life she might have been able to maintain a relationship with her. Now Scott would be surprised if Jo would even speak to her after this was all over.

Joanna was shocked by how Danielle looked. Up close it was obvious she was devastated, and for a brief moment Joanna felt elation. It was brief though, she couldn't bring herself to gloat at someone else's pain. She knew she should be angry with Danielle, but the drive up and her joy at becoming Scott's fiancé made it hard to maintain her anger.

"Does he have to be here?" Danielle asked softly. Joanna didn't respond. She pulled a chair out from Danielle's desk and sat down. Scott left the door open, he knew better than to corner a desperate foe, and his experience told him an utterly defeated foe could often be more desperate than a defiant one. He leaned against the wall, far enough from the door he wasn't blocking it, but close enough he could get out in a hurry if needed. He was also close enough to Joanna to intercept Danielle if she attacked his future wife.

"Jesus, you move fast," Danielle said bitterly, seeing the gleaming rock on Joanna's hand. Fresh tears formed in her eyes and she let them spill down her face, not bothering to wipe them away. Joanna watched her for a moment before picking up the box of tissues that sat on the desk. She crossed to Danielle, standing before her holding the box out. When the other woman didn't even look up Joanna pushed the tissue box into her hands.

"Wipe your face, you're a mess." Joanna's tone was not harsh, but wasn't conciliatory either. Danielle grabbed a wad of tissue and did as Joanna instructed. She still refused to meet Joanna or Scott's eyes. Her gaze was locked on the floor, her shoulders slumped. Her body shook with silent sobs.

"I understand what you meant now," she mumbled softly.

"What?" Joanna asked, not sure she heard Danielle correctly.

"When you came home from breaking up with him," Danielle said, her voice a little firmer. She stopped to blow her nose, still not looking up. "You said you could see his love for you die in his eyes. Well, I understand now. I saw it in your eyes. I'm not sure when it happened but I killed it, didn't I?" The anguish in her voice was heartbreaking and despite himself Scott was beginning to feel sorry for the girl.

"Danielle, I'm not sure what I feel right now." Joanna paused, considering the girl who had been her lover for the last four years. "I know that I have to step back and look at what we had with different eyes. You fooled me, in effect pulled the wool over my eyes and now I need to look at the last four years without that blindfold."

She knew her words were hurting Danielle, but had made up her mind to try to always be honest with those she loved. She knew she still loved Danielle, no matter how much the woman had fooled and manipulated her, she had genuine feelings for her.

"Danielle, look at me. I don't know what to say right now, I just want to get the videos and get some sleep. We'll discuss it more tomorrow, but for tonight let's just get this business with the videos over with. I won't feel safe until I know they're destroyed."

Danielle got to her feet and shuffled across the room. She pulled a bag out of her closet, sitting it on the floor by the door.

"I got it all ready for you, I knew you'd want it. My laptop is in there, and all the copies I made on disc. I'm really sorry I said what I did, I wouldn't have sent them to your family, I swear."

Her voice was sincere and she met Scott's gaze unflinchingly. Scott knew from the interrogation techniques he had learned that Danielle was most likely telling the truth. There were people who could overcome the body's natural indicators of deception, but it took training and practice.

"I believe her," he said to Joanna who still looked skeptical. He picked up the bag and waited for Joanna to exit the room. He started to follow her out when Danielle placed her hand gently on his forearm, her gaze meeting his before sliding away.

"Tell her I never meant to hurt her." Tears pooled in her eyes once more, leaving fresh tracks down her cheeks. "I know I killed her love for me, but I don't want her to hate me too."

Scott looked down at the softly sobbing girl and felt nothing but sympathy for her. He had come here with the intention of kicking ass, not needing to take names. Now he found himself looking for something that would give the contrite girl a little hope.

"Hey, I forgave her for what she did to me," he said softly. Danielle refused to look at him but he continued anyway. "She was sure she had killed my love for her, and to be honest I thought she had. We were both wrong however."

Danielle nodded her understanding of what he was saying. She wiped her eyes and tried to smile at Scott. It didn't work very well he thought as he turned to leave. He took two steps and stopped, a horrible gut feeling making him turn back around.

"You're not planning on doing anything incredibly stupid and very permanent are you?" he asked his voice flat. The flicker he saw in her eyes confirmed his suspicions; he had seen that look before and hadn't then recognized it for what it was. He wouldn't make that mistake twice.

"Danielle, promise me, swear to me on your love for Joanna that you won't hurt yourself tonight." At her startled look he went on softly. "I know how you feel, like there is no reason to go on living. Believe me, I've been there. But it's not the answer. Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem."

"But I can't live with what I've done to her," Danielle sobbed. "I've hurt her in so many ways." She trembled when Scott grabbed her chin softly but firmly, turning her face up so she was forced to look at him. She searched his face for something, finding no condemnation there, just a genuine concern for her well being. She knew it might be fleeting and temporary but she clung to it like a drowning sailor clings to the wreckage of his doomed ship.

"You ... you don't ... hate me?" she gasped out between sobs. She held Scott's gaze, searching for the truth, and maybe hoping just a tiny bit for some hint of forgiveness. She saw the truth, he didn't hate her, but wasn't ready to forgive yet either.

"No, I don't hate you," Scott said softly. "I don't want to see anyone make that mistake ever again." His words and tone hinted that somewhere in his life a loved one had ended it all, leaving him alone to pick up the pieces. "You're not going to put Joanna through that either," he continued his voice growing firm and determined. "You think you've hurt her now, doing that would destroy her. She would always blame herself, even though it would not be her fault."

Scott drew a ragged breath and turned away, he needed to find some way to ensure Danielle didn't do anything to hurt herself. He was startled to see Joanna standing in the door, tears in her eyes. She was staring past him at Danielle, her face an unreadable mask.

"Danielle, you need to go take a shower, you'll feel better afterward." Danielle hesitated, started to say something, then nodded. "Promise me you won't do anything without talking to me first." Scott held her gaze for a moment before she nodded. She slipped out of the room, not meeting Joanna's eyes.

"Scott, what's going on?" Joanna's voice was tight, suspicious. Scott began rummaging through Danielle's things, opening dresser drawers and pawing through the contents.

"I'll explain in a minute. Do you know if Danielle is on any prescription medication?" He finished with the dresser and began opening the drawers on the desk, glancing in at the contents.

"None that I'm aware of," Joanna said, her voice puzzled.

"Does she have a gun, keep a knife or anything like that in the room?"

"No Scott, what's going on, you're starting to scare me."

"Well I'm scared too. Joanna, Danielle is contemplating suicide." Joanna gasped, her face white.

"Are you sure, she's never seemed like the type..." Joanna broke off, her thoughts going through the last several minutes. Scott could be right. She had never seen Danielle as down as she was right now. She knew Scott's history, knew his father had taken his own life after his mother had lost her long battle to cancer.

"I saw that same look in my Dad's eyes the night he shot himself." Scott's voice was thick with emotion. "I've seen it since then, in the eyes of a squad mate when he found out his wife had gotten knocked up while we were overseas. I didn't realize what it was the first two times, and they both killed themselves. I won't ignore it or my gut feeling again."

Scott continued searching the room. He opened the closet door then paused, shaking his head. Joanna gasped, her hand going to her mouth as she saw the rope dangling from the clothes rod. The clothes had been pushed aside, making a gap in the center. A white rope was tied around the rod, the loose end tied in a simple slip knot. Joanna stared at the rope, anger boiling up from within her.

"That fucking bitch, how could she even think about doing something like this?" Her voice was harsh, fist clenched in rage. "After all she's done to put me through this would be ... Damn her Scott, I wish she and I had never met."

Scott wrapped Joanna in his arms, turning her so she couldn't see the rope. "Listen honey, she's not doing it to hurt you, although that would have been the end result. She's so far down she sees this as the only way out. We have to help her, not blame her." He pushed back from Joanna, looking her in the eye.

"Even though this whole thing was brought about by her actions, we need to be very careful with what we do and say. I know it sounds kind of like I'm taking her side, but I'm not, not really. It's just that I've been there, and I know what she's going through."

Joanna searched his face, wondering at what point Scott had felt so low that he wanted to end it all. Her nostrils flared in shock as she realized when it was, reading his acknowledgement in his eyes. "Oh God Scott, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, we've already discussed this. You apologized, I accepted. We're not going there again. I only brought it up to let you know I understand how she feels. Yes she brought this on herself, but we can't let her go through with it." He held Joanna who was still stiff with anger. "You'd never forgive yourself if she did something and you know it."

Joanna knew Scott was right, but she was pissed. After everything else Danielle had done, this was the final straw. She wanted to march into the bathroom and rip her a new asshole. The selfish bitch, she thought. How could she even think of putting them through the aftermath of something like this?

Scott could read her like a book. He had been there, on both sides, and knew what Joanna was feeling. Disbelief, followed by anger, and the anger would last until she could acknowledge that it wasn't really about hurting her, but about Danielle escaping the pain she was feeling. He knew he would have to tread carefully over the next several days. He had to look after both of the women to ensure that they didn't do anything either would regret later.

"Jo, we can't let her out of our sight tonight." He sighed, scrubbing at his face with the palm of his hand. "Either one of us will have to stay with her tonight or she'll have to come with us." He could see Joanna didn't like either idea and he was ready to argue his case. Joanna heaved a sigh, her shoulders slumping. She nodded before coming to Scott, burying herself in his embrace.

"I know what she's going through too," she said into his chest. "I wanted to end it all after I broke up with you. I saw how bad I had hurt you, and I was confused since I still loved you, but I loved Danielle too. I just wanted to escape it all. I got drunk one night, really drunk, while Danielle was at a night class. I had been having trouble sleeping and the doctor had given me a prescription for sleeping pills." She stopped her story, gathering strength to go on.

"Scott, I took them all. Danielle came home and found me unconscious on the floor. She called 911 and they pumped my stomach. I was in the hospital for two weeks. I spent a year on antidepressants before I got over my guilt and pain." She sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes on Scott's shirt. "That's one of the reasons I was so angry. Danielle knew how this would make me feel, she's been through it too, from the other side."

"Yeah, but baby, if you had known what you know right now, back then, would it have stopped you?" Joanna started to answer but then stopped. Would it have? She had been so down, riddled with guilt and despair, confused about herself and her sexuality. It had been the lowest point in her life, a deep dark hole of despair.

"I don't know," she answered Scott honestly. "I was so far down it might not have. I would like to say it would have kept me from going through with it, but I honestly don't know." The pair stood in silence for a moment, each one thinking of their own darkness, that part that lurks hidden in all of us. We put on a smile for the world, hide it behind day to day things, sometimes even hide it from ourselves, but it's still there. We still bear the scars of our life, no matter that they are not visible to those around us.

The sound of the shower ceased and Joanna looked at Scott, her gaze thoughtful. "I've got a queen size bed. We can all three fit in there, we've had four..." she broke off blushing. Scott grinned at her, his eyes twinkling.

"You'll have to elaborate on that another time. What were you thinking of, having her sleep with us tonight." He had planned on someone sitting up with Danielle, or at the least, checking on her every few minutes. It would mean a sleepless night for someone, but he knew he wouldn't sleep anyway if he didn't know they had done what they could to ensure Danielle was safe.

"Yeah, I was wondering, if she got up in the night would it wake you? I don't think it would me, but, knowing what she was thinking of doing, it might." Joanna looked at him and Scott nodded, he was sure he would awaken if Danielle left the bed.

"I might have to sleep next to her as tired as I am. But I can make sure she doesn't get up without my knowing it. It's a trick you learn, going to sleep and kind of cataloging the sounds and smells around you that are normal, safe. Anything outside of those parameters, anything that changes, or is different wakes you up. It can't be taught, not really, but everyone I know that has spent any time in a combat zone soon develops it." Joanna nodded at him before pulling him into the hallway.

Danielle exited the bathroom, almost running into them. She was wrapped in a towel, the end tucked down in the valley between her breasts. She looked better, and it appeared she had finally stopped crying. Joanna took her by the hand and led her down the hall to her room, Scott following. The towel barely covered the globes of Danielle's ass, and he caught a flash or two of the bottom of a well formed cheek.

"Jo, she's going to need something to sleep in," he called.

"She can wear something of mine," Joanna said, determination in her voice. "She's not getting out of my sight until I know..." Her eyes met his and he nodded. Danielle said not a word, her silence telling to Scott. She knew why they were doing this, and he hoped that their obvious concern would help her get out of the dark place her mind was currently occupying. He knew you couldn't force her from that place, but it might be possible to gently lead her out.

"Your hair's still damp," Joanna said guiding Danielle into her bedroom. She sat Danielle on a large ottoman that did double duty as a stool when needed. She handed Scott a blow dryer while she rummaged through her dresser. She stepped back, handing Danielle an oversized t-shirt.

"Give me your wet towel and I'll hang it up," she said. It was obvious Danielle was still going on autopilot, doing whatever she was told without resistance. It was obvious also that Joanna had not thought this through for she gasped when Danielle simply unwrapped the towel and handed it to her.

Danielle's small breasts were capped by tiny nipples which puckered up as the air hit them. Scott tried hard not to stare, and succeeded for the most part. Hoping to distract himself he turned the hair dyer he was holding on and aimed it at Danielle's head.

"Here, brush it as you dry it or it will be one big rat's nest," a blushing Joanna said, handing Scott a hairbrush. She bit her lip, shocked at what she felt seeing her fiancé blow drying Danielle's hair. She remembered what Scott had said about a threesome and felt her sex grow moist.

"I'm going to hang this up, I'll check on Scottie and be right back," she said, turning away, hoping the other two hadn't seen the flush of red which washed down over her face and onto her chest. Damn, she was supposed to be pissed at Danielle, and Scott was her fiancé, yet the sight of him standing fully clothed while drying and brushing Danielle's hair was intensely erotic.

She fled down the hall, looking at herself in the mirror after hanging the towel over the shower curtain rod. Her face was flushed, her chest, the portion showing through her v-neck a soft red. Her nipples poked little mountains in her shirt, going braless was doing nothing to hide her arousal. She shook her head and made her way down the hall to Scottie's room.

The little tyke was sound asleep, his thumb in his mouth. Joanna was trying to break him of using a pacifier, but he just substituted his thumb. She smiled down on him, somehow looking at him sleeping like this always made her feel better. She softly closed the door, her good mood kind of strange considering the circumstances, but after the events of the last several days she didn't want the feeling to go away.