Chapter 4: Welcome Home

I walked into my room and continued unpacking. Putting posters up, fixing up my entertainment system, unloading my DVD collection, and getting everything the way I generally liked my room to look. Like an organized disaster area. I smiled at how I had almost got everything the way I loved my room. My mother might hate the way it looked. Nevertheless, it was my room and I knew where everything was when it was a federal disaster area. I flipped on my stereo and popped in a CD of my favorite songs, as Puddle of Mudd came on I pulled out a pair of tonfas and started practicing my movements and counters.

My skill with martial art weapons and oriental weapons came from my grandfather. My grandfather learned martial arts from Bruce Lee himself in southern California. Every summer my sister and me would go to visit, she of course would go to the malls and shop, or go to the beach and hang out. I took it upon myself to get grandpa to instill his knowledge of the martial arts into me. I swore up and down that I would be a modern day samurai if I could ever make it into a reality.

"Spying on me huh, squirt." I replied.

She stood up off the floor and looked me in the eye. "I'm not a squirt you dingledork, and I'm almost as tall as you are. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you stop the short jokes, and is that anyway to treat your little sister, big bro."

I just looked at her, smiled a sinister smile, and ruffled her hair. "So does mom want me or are you really just snooping."

She replied nonchalantly "Mom wants you because it is dinner time, go wash up you smell like a pig."

"Ok, Kat. Tell mom I will be right up. And stay out of here, please."

I dropped my tonfas onto the bed and exited the room. I followed behind her; she was not about to miss dinner and a chance to see her big brother get into trouble. She sat down at her places at the table; I walked out of the room and turned the corner into the bathroom.

As we sat down for dinner, I took my place beside mom, and across from my sister. Mom brought the food to the table as my sister brought the plates over. I filled the glasses at the table with tea and passed them out. Mom was already starting to make this like a typical night back in Vegas. Mom having us eating together as if we were a real family, again.

She turned to me and said, "How was your day?" I grimaced, as I knew she knew how it went. "Exhausting, the coach worked us hard all afternoon." My sister interrupted, "Then how come you have enough energy to practice your martial..." I retaliated quickly, "Because I need to keep up my studies. That is why. And stay out of it."

"That is no way to treat your little sister. Now apologize." Mom ordered. "Sorry, munchkin" I stated flatly. Mom now took it upon herself to lecture me while I ate quietly and responded when necessary. I already heard this lecture a hundred times about not fighting. My instincts however had overruled when it came to my fight or flight responses a lot more than my head. The only thing that saved them was I was able to maintain a clear head. I did not need a repeat of my last year.

The images played threw my mind as I returned to the room. I stared at the mirror and saw the look behind my own eyes. A monster was hiding behind those eyes, a wolf in a cage. It was searching for the one point of escape to make it to freedom.

I closed my eyes and turned away from the mirror. I knew the animal was there, always there, waiting for the one slip up it needed to unleash it thirst for blood. A berserker that would not settle for anything less than total destruction of everything it could see. This was the monster in my own mind. What was worse was I knew that half of it was my own body that I kept well hidden, even from my mother.

Of wolf and man, who would win, the beast was the only one who knew. My only problem was which one of us was the real beast. These thoughts were too much for me so I cleared my head the best way I knew how, a freezing shower, as cold as a glacier feed river.

As the water poured onto me, its sharp needles piercing my skin, the thoughts faded fast. Back to where they hid, and would stay hidden until they I needed them. As the water pulsed onto my body, I stared into it and calmed down my bloods need for response. Football is what my blood needed as a temporary solution, something to help burn off these hidden desires for blood. I hope that the wolf within would understand that bloodshed was not needed ... yet.