Chapter 30: Flames

And so the little party went on. I tried my best to join in, to have fun with the friends that were laughing and goofing around all over the place. I even had a couple of young women flirting with me, trying to get me to join in a game of strip poker.

I couldn't do it. There was Charlotte, always at least ten feet away from me, reminding me of everything that was simultaneously right and perfect with the world, and horribly wrong. She was so beautiful. Every laugh, every giggle, every flicker of her eyes, every toss of her hair over her shoulder — it seemed to stab me right through my being and stir my guts with agony.

Guys were flirting with her too, sorta trying to pretend like they weren't but obviously dropping hints about messing around with her. But there I was, always at least ten feet away, reminding her of the perfect little world we'd created together, and then shelved while things got sorted out between us. She'd flick her eyes up at me each time some guy's hand fell to her knee. She'd glance my way each time a guy reached up to rub the back of her neck. She'd laugh and smile and play along with the guy a bit, but there was a sadness in her eyes, a sort of tension, a struggle. Charlotte was not being Charlotte, and that was both beautiful and horrible at the same time. It was tearing me apart.

I'd had a few drinks and was slowly beginning to mellow a bit. Mick insisted, though I didn't really want to. He placed a drink in my hand, and then another, and then another and every time he would clink my glass and knock it back with me, telling me that these were the days we would remember when we were old and gray, good times with good friends. I couldn't argue that.

Janine was considerably sloshed at that point. She was hanging on Mick like she was part of his clothing, and laughing and slurring, and slapping people every 30 seconds or so.

"I'm mot drunk. No may, nam!"

Then she'd giggle, slap her lips for screwing up, and try again.

"I love my boyfriend. Don't you love him, Amphomy? Isn't he awmsum?"

"He's awesome," I said.

"He was inside me," Janine continued. She stopped a passing girl and pointed at Mick. "He was inside me. Nice fuckin' cock."

"I'm sure it was, J."

"It was. It was."

She rubbed her ass up against Mick, and he grinned at me. Then when no one was looking, he slid her pants down a bit and showed me her left ass cheek, a round, smooth fleshy thing that jiggled when she slapped his hand away.

"Stop showing my ass to people!"

"It's such a nice ass though, sweetie," Mick said, massaging it with both hands.

"Okay, it's just Amphumy. He's allowed. Wanna see my ass, Amphumy?"

"Sure," I said, humoring her.

And she turned around and slid her pants off her ass, and gave her butt a smack. Such a nice ass. Charlotte, from across the room, fell out of her chair laughing.

"What the hell are you doing, Janine!?"

"Showing my ass," she replied. She still had her butt showing to the whole room now and apparently didn't even notice. A couple of guys whistled at her. Mick laughed. I gave her butt a little squeeze and tugged her pants back up.

"I wanna show my ass too!" a girl shouted, jumping up from some guy's lap. I didn't know her, but I think her name was Margaret or something. She was a bit of a knock out too, but I'd hardly noticed anyone but Charlotte all night. She turned around and mooned us all, tugging her pants off her ass and gyrating her pelvis in time to the song that was playing. More guys whistled.

Then a third girl jumped up and flashed her caboose to the on-looking crowd. People laughed, cheered, high-fived one another, and clinked glasses. Janine had apparently started a trend. A couple guys mooned the group as well, and then they all started chanting for Charlotte to give it up, even the girls.

She smirked, blushing a little, gave me one last semi-drunken glance, and then obliged. She stood up, turned around, and did a little strip tease thing, grinding to the music as she slowly inched her pants down off her ass. I was dazzled. Even though I'd seen it all close up and personal many times, I was still dazzled. She was incredibly hot. Every move she made lit fires inside me that burned hot and wild, driving me to greater and greater lust. By the time she was done, I wanted to walk up, grab her by the hand and drag her up to the bedroom for a good hard fucking—a punishing fuck. I was angry inside, so angry for some reason. I wanted it so bad, and she probably wouldn't have resisted at all at that point, but the ghost of Vincenzo still lingered in the room. He'd only been there six hours ago or less, and my wounded pride fought off the lust because of it.

But then some guy smacked her on the ass, one of the guys who'd been flirting with her. She shivered visibly, and flushed with a heat I recognized as burning lust. It was a weakness of hers. I knew it. She tried to conceal it, but I could see it in her eyes as she looked down at the guy. He'd unlocked something most guys could only dream of. My guts burned as the two of them stared at one another. Then she shook her finger at him, as though he were a naughty boy, and she sat down again. She was horny now though. I could see it on her like a flame on a candle wick.

"You alright, man?" Mick said quietly to me.

"As good as I can be, considering every guy in this room is dying to fuck my girl, and she's probably gonna go for it."

"You should hook up with someone too, man. She's hot, but she's not the only sexy girl in the room. I'm sure half the girls in here would fuck you in the blink of an eye."

"I would," Janine slurred. She was hugging Mick tight and she grinned at me. Then she turned and yelled out to the crowd, "How many of you ladies would fuck this boy right here, right now, if you had the chance?"

There was a general cheer of female approval, and I blushed. Charlotte only smiled at me though, looking a little glazed over in her eyes.

I clinked glasses with Mick again, and headed upstairs. I hadn't seen Amy in a good twenty minutes and I decided to check on her.

She was in her room. The door was open, the lights were dimmed, but she was in there. Well, not really in her room. She was actually out on the balcony. The curtains billowed inward with a gentle breeze on each side of the patio door. I went outside and saw her standing by the railing looking up at the sky.

"How long you been out here?"

She looked at me and then down into the gardens. She didn't answer.

"Not having much fun, huh?"

She shrugged. I went up to her and put my arm around her. We stood in silence for a moment, lost in our respective thoughts. I believe I was thinking about the guy who'd smacked Charlotte's ass a few minutes before, imagining him mounting her in her bed and sliding himself inside her. I tried to convince myself not to care, but the image clung to my mind the way a burn keeps on stinging long after you've pulled your hand away from the heat.

"I know about the movie," Amy said.

"What? What movie?"

"I went downstairs, just to get away from the noise for a while. All the lights were out, but the studio door was open. I went in and looked and I saw you and Charlotte on the screen, doing stuff. I walked up and pressed play and I saw you coming all over her. I didn't know what the heck it was at first, but then I saw that it was filmed on the bed right down there in the basement. You guys are making some kind of porn movie or something, huh?"

"It was supposed to be a secret."

"I won't say nothin'."

"Where was Sheila?"

"She was asleep in the bathroom. She was sitting there on the toilet with her pants around her ankles, sleeping up against the wall, just dead to the world. Has she been working on that all week? Is that why she's hardly come out of the basement?"

"Yeah."

"It looked really good."

"Yeah."

"I won't say anything. I promise."

"Charlotte's not supposed to be messing around with the cameras. We just wanted to film this thing while her parents were out of town, just for fun, and then erase it. Now we're broken up and everything so I don't even know if I wanna see the finished version."

"So it's official? You guys are done?"

"Yeah," I said. My voice betrayed a bit of a struggle inside me.

"Well, that makes two of us."

"Two of us? What do you mean?"

"I broke up with my boyfriend too. I was just thinking about it actually. It never should have happened in the first place. But I guess I kind of liked him ever since I was little, like in third grade. Weird, huh?"

"Nope."

And she hugged me a little tighter.

"I still want you to be my first," she said, after another moment's silence. I looked down at her. She looked unbelievably cute, unbelievably innocent and naïve, and unbelievably resolved. I almost shivered seeing her look at me like that, like she knew she would be fucking me very soon—it was just a matter of where and when. A breeze blew by and tousled her hair a bit. A strand fell in front of her eyes. Just one strand. She never blinked.

I broke the gaze first.

"You're gonna have to wait, Aims. I'm still a little raw about Charlotte for one thing, and for another thing, I'd probably tear you in half. It seems like a good idea now, I'm sure, but if it was actually happening, you'd probably change your mind pretty quick. It hurts like hell."

"So?"

"So, I'm just saying, there's more to it than the romantic adventurous, sexy feeling you're picturing right now. That's all I'm saying."

"If you don't do it, who will? Some lying-ass prick who just wants to splooge and toss me away. I know how guys are, and that's why I want you for my first, cause you're the only guy I know who's not like that."

Ironic how the one thing that attracted her to me was the one thing keeping her from having me. But people always want what they can't have, especially women, so maybe it's not so ironic after all.

"Too many young girls toss their virginity away to the first guy they like, and then they wind up regretting it."

"So?"

"So, I think you should just think about this for a while. You just met me yesterday, Aims. What if I'm not the wonderful guy you think I am?"

"What if you are? The fact that you're trying to talk me out of it, just proves me right."

"Maybe you just want me 'cause you can't have me."

"I can have you," she said with chilling certainty.

"Oh really? What are you gonna do, rape me when I'm not looking?"

"You can't stand around hurting for Charlotte forever. Eventually you're gonna get horny again, and I'll be right there, on my knees, waiting to give everything to you."