Chapter 5

The next morning I was up before Sean. I snuck out of the bedroom and made coffee. I made bacon and toast and put them in the oven so that when Sean got up I would only have to cook the eggs and breakfast would be ready.

Sean had put in a lot of long days in the past week and he was really tired. It was another hour before I heard him moving around. I poured him a cup of coffee and got the eggs out. By the time he got to the table breakfast was ready.

We ate and talked and then, after I cleaned up the kitchen, we went in and took a shower together. If you looked close you could still see faint discolorations on my boobs. But you had to be looking for them. I was nervous when we first undressed together. But once I realized that he didn't notice anything unusual I relaxed.

We dressed and went grocery shopping. I had been putting it off. I was hesitant to go alone after what happened to me in the parking lot. I normally shopped by myself but I asked Sean to go with me and he didn't mind.

We came home and put everything away and since I had been stuck in the house all week he offered to take me to a movie. We picked a movie that appealed to both of us and went to the late afternoon showing.

After the movie we stopped for some fried chicken on the way home and got it to go. We ate at home with a couple of beers. While we were eating I asked Sean about the race tomorrow. He hadn't said anything about it and I wondered if he was going to one of his friend's houses to watch the race.

"I needed to ask you about that," he said, sheepishly. "The guys want to come here again. I told them I would see how you felt about it."

I looked at him for a moment. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Last Sunday had been fun. I knew the reason that they wanted to come back here tomorrow. They wanted to see me naked. They wanted to have sex. They would be wanting more than blowjobs this time.

Despite how well it had gone last time I was nervous about that. I was still not sure how that would effect the way Sean felt about me. Or how it would effect how I felt about myself. To add to the confusion, I wasn't sure how my feelings were being affected by my other problem, my rapist.

"I guess you want them to come over or you wouldn't be asking me," I said. "I haven't really been with you enough this week to know if anything is different after last weekend. We had fun on Sunday. Yes, I had fun too. But I am so afraid that you will start looking down on me. Or your friends will and it will bother you. Can you promise me that won't happen?"

Sean smiled and took me into his arms. He hugged me and kissed me and said, "If you have any doubts, just say no. I know you have more to worry about than I do in a situation like this. I don't want to pressure you or force you. If you enjoy doing it, and if you want to do it, not for me, but because you enjoy it too, then I can assure you that it won't effect how I feel about you. I love you with all of my heart. One of the many things I love about you is your sexuality."

"If you want to do this," he continued, "I will enjoy the hell out of it. If you don't, I will love you just as much. I can't promise it will never come up again. It really turns me on. But I won't hassle you about it."

"But you need your decision to be about what you would like to do, not about any second thoughts you think I might have. Because the hardest thing I had to do this week was to get what happened Sunday out of my mind so that I could concentrate on what the instructors were saying. In case you have any doubts, let me assure you, I am all for it. But only if you can do it and then go to bed with me on Sunday night and think, 'Damn! That was hot!' So leave me out of the equation. You had fun last time, or you said that you did. Did you have any regrets?"

I smiled as I remembered last Sunday. No. I hadn't had any regrets. My only regret is my rapist. The things that had happened Sunday had been exciting and fun. I couldn't lie to myself. I would like to do it again, those things or something similar. I suppose we could do away with those stupid cards.

I told Sean, "No, I didn't have any regrets. I enjoyed it. But whatever you plan for tomorrow, let's leave out the fucking cards! I don't like playing poker. I always lose!"

"That's the point!" Sean said and laughed.

"I don't like to lose!" I said.

"That isn't entirely true. I watched you on Sunday. You were enjoying yourself," he said. "That was why it made me so hot."

"You can't play cards and watch the race," I argued.

"A naked woman will trump a race any day of the week," he said.

"Okay," I said, "I'll leave it up to you. I'll go along with whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" he asked.

I kissed him and said, "Yes master. Your wish is my command."

Sean started kissing me and touching me and it wasn't long before we were in bed and practicing for tomorrow. It had been a long, abstinent week. I had missed our love making as much as he did. He started right out making up for it. He ate my steaming for a very long time. I had orgasm after orgasm until finally I was getting weak. I had to push him away.

I rested up for a few minutes and then I pulled him up and started to return the favor. As I sucked his cock he picked up the phone and called his two friends. I listened as he told them that we were on for tomorrow. After he hung up the phone we spent the next two hours practicing in different positions. We didn't quit practicing until we were exhausted. We were so worn out that we fell asleep without even getting cleaned up.

We woke up at a fairly normal time for a Sunday. But we were feeling kind of lazy and we remained in bed until we had to go to the bathroom so bad we couldn't stand it any longer. We raced for the bathroom and since it was closer to my side of the bed I won easily. I sat on the toilet and peed with him in the room for the first time. He was hopping up and down and holding his crotch like a little boy, begging me to hurry.

I smiled sexily at him and beckoned him closer with my finger. When he was standing in front of me I put my hand around his cock and aimed it between my now widespread legs and told him to go ahead.

He looked at me like I was crazy for a moment. But then he smiled lasciviously and said, "Okay, baby, you asked for it!"

I felt the pee running through his cock. It felt like a vibration. My aim was terrible and the first few squirts splashed on the toilet seat between my legs. Then, as the stream got stronger it sprayed onto my legs. Finally I gave into my desires and aimed the strong stream at my pussy. I was peeing into the toilet and Sean was peeing on my pussy and staring at me in amazement. I sat back and closed my eyes and Sean finished peeing on my pussy while I had an orgasm. As soon as I returned to the world of the living I leaned forward and took his soft, but quickly growing cock into my mouth and sucked it clean.

I asked him to start the water so that we could take a shower together before breakfast. I wiped my pussy and my thighs with toilet paper. I didn't want to drip all over the floor. I stood up and wiped off the toilet seat and then we got into the shower and washed each other. We hugged and kissed and giggled like kids until the water got cold. We really need a larger hot water heater.

After we dried off I finally got up the nerve to ask, "Well, did that gross you out?"

He grinned and said, "It certainly shocked me. I never would have thought of doing it. I thought you didn't even want me in the room when you were using the toilet. You were always so shy about that. But when I saw you cum! Fuck! That was so fucking hot! Is that something you have been thinking about for a while, or is that another trick you learned from Cosmo?"

I guess I hadn't thought things through very well when I did that. I wasn't sure what to say now. Could I tell him about my rapist? This is probably the best opportunity I will get. The longer that I wait the worse it will be when he finds out. Oh god, I hope I don't fuck this up.

We had gone out to the kitchen and since we were feeling kind of kinky already we had remained undressed. We were working on breakfast. I stopped what I was doing and poured us both a cup of coffee and told Sean to sit down.

I took a sip of coffee and said, "Sean, I have something to tell you. I should have told you sooner. But I have kind of dug myself into a hole and no matter what I do I keep getting in deeper. It wasn't my fault. Not at first. I guess it's my fault that I kind of let things get out of control. My biggest fear is that you are going to freak out and do something stupid and get in trouble, or get hurt. I will understand if you are mad at me. I will even understand if you ... well, I can't even bring myself to say that. Just sit quiet and listen and I will tell you everything."

So I did. I told him every terrible detail. From the first rape in the van at the grocery store to the gang rape on Thursday with my rapist and his four friends. I watched his face closely as I told the entire, sordid tale. I saw concern, I saw anger, but I didn't know who he was angry at. I hoped it wasn't me. I also noticed that his cock was hard most of the time. I hoped that was a good sign.

When I had finished telling him what had happened to me I said, "So, that's the real reason I can deepthroat your cock, and your friends. That is why I knew I would cum when you pissed on my pussy this morning. It started out not my fault. I could have reported it. I should have reported it. But I was just too embarrassed. Because I didn't report it things got out of hand. Now it keeps getting worse. He knows that I didn't tell you or the police and he thinks he can hold that over me."

I looked at him for a minute and he just stared at me. I had to ask, I couldn't stand the suspense any longer, "Please Sean, tell me what you're thinking!"

He shook his head for a second and then he said, "God, Myra! Why didn't you tell me?! I could have protected you! Don't look so scared, silly. I'm not mad at you. I feel awful about it."

He pulled his chair out from the table and pulled me onto his lap. I noticed his lap was still feeling kind of lumpy and suddenly I found myself chuckling.

He looked at me in astonishment and asked, "What's so funny?!"

I laughed and said, "It doesn't feel like you feel all that awful about it. I still feel a lump under my ass."

Sean blushed and said, "It isn't my fault! You know what a pervert I am! You know the idea of another guy fucking you has always turned me on. Not hurting you though. I can't stand the thought of someone hurting you."

We hugged and kissed for a moment, but that lump under my ass never went away. I finally stood up and got us both some fresh coffee and said, "Wait here." Then I went into the bedroom and dug out the pictures from Thursday.

I brought him the pictures and tossed them onto the kitchen table. He looked at them for a moment and said, "Are you sure you want me to see them?"

I grinned at him and said, "Oh go ahead! You know you are dying to. I don't mind. What you see can't possibly be any worse than what you are picturing in your dirty little mind."

I sat back down and sipped my coffee and watched his face as he looked at the pictures. He tried to be cool. But I could tell that he found a lot of them exciting. Most of the pictures were of me and my rapist's four friends. But there were more than a few of me with my rapist's cock in my mouth and my pussy and finally my ass.

Sean just kept looking at those and shaking his head and saying, "Oh my god! Fuck that must have hurt!"

I slid to the floor and put my head in his lap. I felt guilty about what I had done. Not the first rape. That wasn't my fault. After that though, when I let it keep happening. This seemed like a good way to start making it up to him. I knew that probably every other woman in the world would be pissed if her husband got a hard on from hearing about his wife getting raped or from looking at the pictures. But I wasn't without guilt here. I figured that the more exciting he found those pictures, the less likely it was that this would be a problem for our marriage.

I didn't deepthroat him this time. I held his cock in my mouth and sucked lightly. He came very quickly. I waited until his cock was soft and then I sat back up. He had found the note and was reading it with an expression of concern on his face.

"Well," Sean said, "now that you have told me about him, he has nothing left to blackmail you with, does he?"

"No," I said, not quite sure how I felt about it. When I had told Sean about what had happened I had been honest about my feelings. I told him how excited I had gotten. I told him that the feeling of being helpless and cruelly dominated had turned out to be a very erotic experience, much to my surprise.

He was watching me now. I saw the realization dawn on him, "You want to go, don't you?!"

It was my turn to blush and feel guilty.

"Yes and no," I answered. "The idea of it excites me. I don't think he could hurt me worse than he did the last time. I don't know what he has planned. I have to believe that from now on it would be about domination, not pain. It scares me that he can somehow get into our house whenever he wants to. I am sorry. I know I should not even be considering it. I just can't help having mixed feelings about it. I can't help it anymore than you can help how you feel when you think about it, or when you think about me fucking your friends."

He looked through the pictures again. Then he looked up and said, "You know how fucked up I am. I would go along if I could watch sometime, or if I could at least see more of these nasty pictures. God you look hot!"

"But how do I know you'll be safe?" he asked.

I shrugged. "If it was totally safe it wouldn't be so exciting," I admitted. "I have a couple of things on my side. I can tell you the address where this took place," pointing to the pictures of the gangbang, "and you know the location of our next meeting."

"I had already resolved to go. I told myself that I was going to keep you from finding out about it. But I don't think that was the real reason. Now that I don't have to, I can't help feeling just a tiny little nagging feeling of disappointment. Sorry, but I am being as honest as I can here."

There was a moment of silence and then Sean said, "I can't take a day off from that class. The instruction is much too intense. So I can't be here to protect you. You have done a nice job of building up our savings account. But it isn't enough yet that we could afford to move. I suppose you could stay at my parent's house during the day. Does he know that address? You would be alone there, since they both work. We could call a cop. But as you pointed out, you more or less consented to the last two meetings. I don't know if they would be all that concerned."

"I don't know what to do," he continued. "I suppose the best thing I can do is tell you that I will go along with whatever you want to do. You already know I don't get jealous. You know that isn't a concern. But I love you with all of my heart and I worry about you. Do you know what you want to do?"

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes and tried to think.

"Since you are so obviously considering it," he said, "I have a suggestion. When the guys come over today, I'll talk Mark into letting me borrow his cell phone. You take it with you and when you get to the bar tomorrow you get his license number and call and leave it on our answering machine. You won't be able to tell him about me knowing. Well, you can for all I care. But it might screw up your fantasy."

I looked at him, trying to read his mind. "Could you really handle this?" I finally asked.

"I can handle it as long as you don't get hurt, and as long as you don't leave me for that horse hung son of a bitch!" he exclaimed.

I stood up and said, "Before you take me into the bedroom and fuck my ass, how do you want your eggs?"

He grinned and gave me his breakfast order.

As soon as breakfast was over we went into the bedroom and he explored his new sexual option. He was very careful, very gentle. He took his time and I was surprised at how pleasant it was. If Sean hadn't been so excited and been able to last just a little longer, I think I might have had an orgasm!

We cuddled afterwards and I asked him how he liked it. He thought about it for a minute before answering. Finally he said, "It was fun I guess. I know that a lot of guys go nuts over anal sex. To be honest I don't know why. I'm not saying I won't ever want to do it again. But I have to say that I prefer your sweet pussy."

When we were done we got cleaned up and I went out to start getting the snacks ready for the race. The pre race show started at noon and I wanted to get everything ready before Mark and Brad arrived. We had fooled around so much that I had less than an hour to work with.

Sean put the pictures away while I was making snacks. He was gone for quite a while. I knew that he was looking at the pictures again. I wasn't sure how I felt about that at first. I finally decided that as long as he was getting turned on by pictures of me I had nothing to complain about. I guess if I get turned on my submitting to my rapist I can't fault Sean for getting turned on my the pictures of it.

He snacks were ready and I was all ready for Sean's friends to arrive. I went into the bedroom to find something sexy to wear. I started looking through my closet. I didn't have any particular outfit in mind. I'm not even sure what I was looking for. I just knew that I wanted something sexy.