I walked into the café and quietly sat down at my usual table. Tonight I was down in the dumps. It was the day for lovers. The day I hated most out of the year. This day brought so many feelings. It brought loss, sadness, anger, and even yearning. Tonight I was pissed. Paul was still free. He had even moved on. He was getting married again. 'Poor girl, ' I thought. I thought of telling her what Paul was, but she would not believe me. No one did, so why should she.
I don't know what brought me here. I should stay away from here when in these moods. I didn't want Mike to know that I was upset. I hated to see the look of concern in his eyes. I knew he loved me. Have known it the past three years since the day I took my revenge out on Paul. That day he had revealed his feelings. Mike had asked me to be his wife.
I had told him that I was not ready for commitment. I had expected him to get mad. Demand something, but no. All he did was say, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait."
That day I accepted that I really loved Mike. I also realized that I wanted him in my life. I also learned I was afraid. What made me afraid? Being hurt, or hurting him. I didn't think that I was what he needed.
Our relationship had changed that might. I no longer slept with him. I wanted him to move on. I still came around and ate at the diner. I still hung out with him. I just didn't sleep with him. Oh, he tried to get me into his bed. He tried at least once weekly. I just refused. I could tell this puzzled him. He tried to get me to talk, but I refused. Eventually he just gave up getting me to talk to him about what was wrong.
"What can I get you today Dora?" Marie asked.
"Just a beer, I'm not hungry tonight," I replied.
She got this odd look at that. She knew me and it was very seldom I was not hungry. She kept quiet though and went to get me my imported beer. I saw when I walked up that Mike was not there. I hoped he had a date after all tonight and was on it. Marie dashed my hopes when she brought me my beer.
"Here you go. Mike should be back soon. He stepped out for a few minutes said he needed to pick up something," she revealed.
'Damn, ' "Okay, thanks" I wondered if I should just pay for the beer and walk the two blocks home before he got back.
I laid down the money and tip. Well the Fates were against me tonight. Just then, someone started playing Terry Gibbs's song 'Somebody's Knocking.'
Lord it's the devil would you look at him
I looked up and in walked Mike. 'DAMN, of all my luck!' To make matters worse he was carrying flowers and chocolates. He looked at me; all I could think of was that I must look like a deer in deadlights. I stood up, muttered something about an emergency, and tried to skid past him. I thought it had worked when I reached the door, but his voice stopped me dead in my tracks. The tone that I can't resist came out of his mouth. The one that makes my heart melt and sink all at once. It is the hurt tone. The one I heard three years ago tonight. The one he used when he said, "I'll wait."
"Baby Doll, don't go, stay. I need to speak to you, please," Mike said in the hurt tone.
All my feelings hit me at once. Fear, hurt, loneliness, love.
Well somebody's talking
He's whispering to me,
Your place or my place well which will it be,
I'm getting weaker, and he's coming on strong,
But I don't wanta go wrong.
'Damn there's that song again.' Damn Eros, he was not making this easy! What do you expect out of a Greek God that runs around naked? Of course, this being his day he would not make it easy. Earlier that day I had started hearing his voice in my head. That is why I was down here wanting a beer! I hoped that it would make him go away!
He must have tapped my telephone line
He must have known I'm spending my time alone
He says we'll have one heavenly night
My fever's burning so he ought to be right at home.
"Shut up Eros. I don't need any of your help!" I muttered to the God of love, Eros or as some knew him by, Cupid.
All I got was a giggle and yet more lyrics. Damn, I hate the Gods. Sometimes they just don't play fair. I hazarded a look back and saw that look. The one I hated to see. The one that said I had hurt him.
I turned around and fully faced Mike. I stood there and looked at him. I tried to walk away, but instead I walked into his waiting arms.
I heard Eros say, "Yep she let him in," with satisfaction in his voice.
ARGGG I wanted to kill me a Greek God! "Fuck you, Eros. Haven't you messed up my life enough?"
"You couldn't handle fucking a God like me." Eros twisted what I said.
I decided to "try" to ignore him. Have you ever ignored a Greek God who had decided that you were the next person he was going to torment? Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. They NEVER let you. Of all the Gods, and Goddesses out there, why was Eros the one that noticed me? Hell, I would have been happier if Zeus would have talked to me. I would have asked him to zap Paul with lightning. However, I was stuck with the God of love. The last God I wanted to meet or in this case have in my head talking to me. I made a mental note that maybe I needed some psychiatric help. Either that or somebody spiked my beer.
"No one spiked your beer. At least not yet, and you are not crazy. I'm having fun talking to you. I haven't had this much fun in several hundreds of years. I have been laying low and watching what has been going on. I just think you have had a bad experience in love, and you need to get over it, and give this guy a chance. He really loves you. If he didn't, why would he still be waiting three years later?" Eros read my mind.
I decided that maybe if I didn't respond to him, he would leave me alone. Instead, I pulled away from Mike and looked at him.
"What can I do?" I asked, trying to sound casual.
Mike gave me a long searching look and responded, "You know what you can do. I still want you to be my wife."
"Say yes! Say yes! Give the poor boy a break! I'm sure he has blue balls by now. He only gets off occasionally at the BDSM club. He hasn't dated in over three years. Don't you know he has loved you since before your divorce from Paul? Why do you think he let you cry on his shoulder all those nights, instead of drinking with your ex?" Eros implored.
Sheesh, you would think that the God of Love would have other things to do tonight besides bug me. Hell, why isn't he out shooting people with his arrows and wearing diapers?
"First, I DO NOT wear diapers. Second, I don't feel like using my arrows right now. I already did that today. I made two enemies fall in love. That will be one relationship worth watching," Eros responded with mischief.
"I don't know. Hell I don't know anything any more, but that I still love you," I said before catching myself.
For once Eros was quiet, too quiet.
"Hey, boss. Dora skipped dinner tonight. Is something wrong with her? She doesn't skip dinner," Marie blabbed on me.
"You're in trouble now! Hmmmm, I'll have to make sure Marie gets laid tonight. Such a good girl," Eros laughed.
"You had something to do with her tattling on me, didn't you?" I steamed to Eros!
All I heard was Eros laughing his ass off. Yep he was definitely mischievous.
"Well, I ate at home. I just wanted a beer," I lied.
"Thanks Marie, I'll see that she eats," Mike said; he didn't believe my lie.
"Sure boss," Marie responded with a smile.
"Dora, you are going to eat. You are skinny enough as it is. You are losing too much weight it doesn't look like you have eaten in days. Now go sit down and eat!" Mike commanded me.
"Yes, Sir," I gave up.
I walked over to the table as Mike walked up to the counter and ordered a breakfast platter for me. Why did that tone always make me obey him? Well, it usually succeeded, but it hadn't worked on bringing me back to his bed. I downed the last of my beer and wondered if silver bullets or a cross and stake would kill an immortal God?
"No such luck, you can't kill me. I am one of the oldest Gods. They tried that when Atlantis sank to the bottom of the ocean, but as you can see, I'm still here. No one can kill love." Eros answered my unspoken question.
"Oh, go play with Psyche or Anteros! Leave me be," I muttered. Maybe garlic would work?
'Damn him, ' I thought. 'I wish he would leave me alone. I don't need love. All it does is cause pain. Where has love gotten me I ask? Nowhere that's where!''
I watched Mike set the vase of roses down on the counter in front of him. It looked to be two dozen of roses red, yellow, white, and pink. Hell there were even a couple of blue ones in there. That had to have cost a pretty penny. The box of chocolates looked like a two pound box, at least. I knew I buy chocolate a lot. I wondered who was going to get them. Some part of me was jealous at the idea of someone else getting the gifts.
Deep down, I knew. I sat there and watched him. He would look over at me once in a while and smile. I felt my heart melt. Just then, Eros had to step in again. ARGGG that God was driving me crazy. He started in on another song, this one by Shania Twain "I WON'T LEAVE YOU LONELY". What did the man do, listen to love songs all day?
Midnight in summer
The air's so much warmer
Falling in love under starlight
Holding on so tight
"Stop, stop it! Please!" I begged.