Chapter 6: Telling the truth

After an uncomfortable nights sleep, dreams of Elaine, naked in my bed, the dreams turning into nightmares as my fine dream erection subsided abysmally. I woke up many times, and pummelled the pillows before crashing down again for an hour's doze, before waking again with the same dream.

At six, long before the alarm would clamour, I decided enough was enough. I got up and wandered downstairs, flicking on the kettle to make a cup of tea. Then I did something I hadn't done for months. Lit a cigarette. It tasted foul, not just because I hadn't smoked for so long, but also because the packet must have been almost a year open. I finished about half before angrily stubbing it out. This erectile dysfunction had been creeping up on me for some time. I had always been open about it with my partners; in the main women of my age who could understand. So it was a problem, which wasn't a problem. If real need came to it, I would take a Cialis pill. It worked, lasted about twelve hours, and then made me feel like shit. With Elaine I had to take greater care. Being younger, she wouldn't possibly understand as an older woman would. I decided to print off an article I had read on the internet, and ask her to read it. The most important point to get over to her was that the lack of an erection did not indicate a lack of desire. In the article a mention was made of prosthetics. Surgery was required for the most successful, but there were a few, which would slip over the penis, and because of the construction the warmth of the penis would permeate through. I ordered one straight away. It wouldn't be here in time for what I hoped would be out first encounter. But if there was a second???

I went to the club early and worked hard, trying to exhaust my body so I could get a good night's sleep that night. I hoped it would work. later I got the car clean, and generally wasted time until I had to go and pick Elaine up.

She came out of the house the moment I pulled up. As I suggested she was wearing more formal clothes, a grey suit, black shoes with just a low heel. I opened the door for her, but not before she gave me a quick kiss.

"I did what you suggested and looked up their web site. Lots of stuff on there, but I copied off a couple of items, and have memorized the basic points, so I have got something to discuss."

"Great. That will impress them."

"James, I am absolutely scared silly." I shook my head.

"Don't worry. They will know that nerves are part and parcel of an interview. If they are professional human resource people, they will put you at your ease." Elaine was shaking her head.

"No, not about the interview, but about what you want to say later." I felt guilty now. It was a bad tactic to introduce the idea of us having a serious discussion, the same day that Elaine was having this interview.

"Oh, shit! I didn't think straight, not when you have this on your plate. Elaine. Don't worry about our chat. We will get together. I had a lousy night yesterday, as I was so excited about where we are going. I was dreaming of you all the time."

"Well I am sorry that dreaming of me kept you awake. I did hope that I would be able to do that when we are in bed together."

"You will, Elaine. Of that I have no doubt." She smiled then.

I had thought the interview would last about half an hour, but it was well over the hour when Elaine came out. She was really pleased. I didn't need to ask, as the first thing she said was.

"They offered me the job!"

"I am so pleased. Well done." I replied. "I think a celebratory meal out is called for, but my treat, I insist."

"I haven't got anything with me to wear."

"No, I wasn't thinking of this evening, but perhaps at the weekend. Tell me, do you like dancing?"

"Yes. But I haven't been in years." She looked at me curiously. "I cannot imagine that you would be comfortable at a Disco." I laughed at that.

"No, I meant ballroom."

"Ballroom?"

"Yes, you know the waltz, quickstep, foxtrot." Elaine looked worried.

"I could probably manage the waltz, my mum showed me when I was young. But the others..." Her voice trailed away.

"We'll talk about it later. If you feel uncomfortable I won't try to get you up on the floor. If it makes you feel better, they play plenty of disco music as well. Shall I book for Saturday evening?" She nodded enthusiastically.

"Sounds great, James. Yes please."

We were back at my house now. I went to the kitchen and asked if she wanted wine or coffee.

"Wine please James. I have the feeling that your serious discussion is going to need it." Before I got the bottle out of the fridge, I picked up the sheet I had printed off and went through to the conservatory.

"I'll get the wine, but in the meantime, would you read this article?" I vanished back to the kitchen, deliberately taking my time so that Elaine could finish reading. As I went back with the bottle and two glasses, she looked up with sympathy written all over her face.

"Now you know." She got up came over to my chair and sat on my lap, her arms going round my neck as she held me tight.

"Oh James, that must have been so difficult for you to do. How can I help." I shrugged.

"I wanted you to know. I desire you more than you can believe. If my cock does not respond, it is not about lack of interest. I will make love to you, with everything I have, my fingers, my mouth, my body and my mind."

"Is there anything that can be done?"

"Yes. I have a prescription for a drug called Cialis. It works for about twelve hours." Elaine was very perceptive, and picked up the words I hadn't said.

"And? You said it works. But you are not telling me anymore. Are there side effects?" I nodded sadly.

"Yes. It sets my heart racing, I get palpitations and my temperature goes sky high. It's not dangerous, or my Doctor would not have let me have the prescription, but it is uncomfortable."

"How long does this last?"

"About six hours."

"Then you won't take one. I know from the feel of your hand on me that you will be a gentle and fulfilling lover without coming inside me." I disagreed.

"I will take one." I emphasized the word "will", so there could be no argument. "I can cope with the side effects, but I want us to have everything. I want to be inside you, and feel you clasping me within your body. I just needed you to be aware." Elaine was sobbing on my chest.