Chapter 1: Introduction

With considerable show, Jack removed the vial from his jacket pocket and carefully placed it on the table.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Your birthday present. Happy 40th!" he grinned at me, obviously pleased with himself.

I picked up the vial and examined it. It was about the size of my thumb and contained a colorless liquid.

"What is this? 'Grecian-Formula'?"

"No, my friend, this is no joke. You know where I work, right?"

"You mean, the 'Department of Defense'?" I asked, using my fingers to make imaginary quotes in the air, our local euphemism for the CIA.

"That's right. And what you have in front of you is the first of a new drug that I just created. Very top secret. I could lose my job if anyone knew I had taken it."

I pushed the vial back towards him, "Well, then. I don't want it." I looked around, nervously.

He pushed it back. "It's OK, nobody knows. This is only the second successful batch which I've synthesized."

"What does it do?"

Jack moved closer and whispered. "It's a mind-control drug."

"Fuck!" I quickly covered the vial with a napkin. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I hissed, "If the government ever finds out about this, we'll both be killed ... or worse." I shuddered at the thought.

"Listen, I got this for you and Janice. OK? I know that your marriage is on the rocks. Janice seems really unhappy. Well, now here's your chance to fix it."

"But, I mean ... don't you have to take lie detector tests and all that? What happens when they find out you've given me some?"

Jack showed me a second vial. "I have another dose here, for me. I'll use a tape recorder to make myself forget all about it."

"Woah. You think that'll work?"

"It'll absolutely work. Trust me."

"Listen Jack ... I don't feel right about this..."

"Paul ... You and Janice are my two closest friends in the world. If I lost either one of you, then I don't know what I'd do. If you won't do this for yourself, then do it for me, okay?"

"Okay ... I guess."

"And be careful. This is seriously powerful shit, and the vial contains only a single dose."

I hid the vial in my breast pocket. I felt it there, radiating power.

"So, how do I use it?" I asked.

Jack was right, of course. Janice and I were not doing well. In fact, we were probably only a few months away from divorce.

What Jack didn't know was that it was my desire to wear women's underwear that had caused the rift. After 15 years of marriage I was tired of sneaking into the den with a pair of panties to jerk off. If only my wife would participate! Then life would be perfect. And since Janice is so caring and tolerant, I thought, well, it couldn't hurt to ask. Right?

Wrong.

"I can't," she stated, flat out.

"What?" I stammered, unprepared for such a harsh response. "Why not?"

"Because it's perverted and disgusting." Her demeanor brooked no discussion. "Couldn't you have left well enough alone? I was perfectly happy to pretend nothing was going on. I thought we had an arrangement: You go into the den and do ... whatever you do, and I ignore it. Simple! But here you go bringing it all out into the open ... damn you! Now I'll never be able to get that picture out of my head. Thank you so much!"

"But this is a big part of who I am..."

She held her hands over her ears. "Stop it!" she yelled, her eyes clenched shut. "You're just making it worse! I don't want to hear! Just leave me alone!"

... and that was that.

If I had thought it out ahead of time, I should have been able to predict her reaction. After all, her attitudes about sex and acceptable behavior had always been pretty conservative.

And so we went back to living our lives as before...

... but not quite. An evil distrust had been uncorked, and I began to realize that my confession had altered the foundations of our relationship in some fundamental way.

For example, sex became strange and forced, and much less frequent. From twice a week to once every other month ... maybe. But worse than that, Janice no longer seemed to reach climax anymore.

And then other things began to deteriorate. Janice became more sarcastic and temperamental. We started having horrific shouting matches over the most inane subjects.

And I kept thinking, this isn't us! This is what happens to other people! I figured our marriage was on its last legs.

And deep down I knew it was all my fault. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut.

But now I had the answer in the palm of my hand. I was going to set things right.

This would be the best 40th birthday present in the history of 40th birthday presents.