Chapter 5

Well, Gwen had to go home and get some serious clothes for the evening and the other three had to get dressed up in their new duds, so I just glided out of the house and made my way down to Knaves and had a couple while the house was turned into a vast wasteland of empty shopping bags and tissue paper. I figured that I had a couple of hours, at least, but the bartender answered the phone and then put it down on the counter and walked over to me. "Nancy's calling you."

"Tell her..."

"Uh-uh."

"Shit. She pissed?" He shrugged. So I walked down to the end of the bar and picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Okay, I'll be home as soon as I finish this one." "Yeah, I figured that I'd have to get dressed up as soon as I saw the shopping bags. Just dig out whatever you want me to wear and hang it on the door and I'll wear it." "No, I just figured you would have a better idea of what would go with your outfits than I would, dear." "Okay, love you too. Bye." I handed the phone back to Eddie the bartender, who hung it up.

"Smooth."

"What?"

"'Whatever will go with your outfit.'" He laughed. "I'll have to remember that next time my old lady is on my case."

"The Cat is in town and she and Nancy just wiped out a few clothing stores today."

"No getting out of it then."

"Nope."

"Say hi to the Cat for me."

"Will do."

Even being the last one to start getting dressed, I was the first one ready, so then I had to go downstairs and get in the limo and show the guy driving it how to get over to Gwen's place to pick her up. And miracle of miracles, she was ready when we got there, so it wasn't but one minute after I knocked on the door that she was piling into the big Mercedes and we were cracking the first bottle of the bubbly. I picked up the in-car phone and called the house when we were almost to Fairfax and gave the rest of the gang a little warning, and they were just coming down the stairs in their high heels when we pulled up at the curb. The chauffer was out like a shot and had the door open for them and they settled into the back of the German luxury liner and I handed them each a glass and poured as we wound our way carefully down the street and the hill. I was digging on Kathy's wide-eyed astonishment at the car and the uniformed driver. "Definitely not Kansas, eh?" I toasted her with my glass of bubbly.

"To Kansas!" The Cat toasted, and she and Gwen clinked glasses and chugged.

"I'm from Michigan, actually." Kathy said as I poured more champagne.

"What the hell: To Michigan!"

"To Michigan!" And we all clinked glasses and had another.

"Let's not forget Texas," Nancy said.

"Texas!"

"We need another bottle."

"No problem." I swung open the mini refrigerator and got out another bottle of whatever it was we were swilling.

"I'm originally from Oregon." Gwen said. "But I moved her when I was pretty young."

"Well, hell, that counts. Hurry up with the damn bottle, Tony, we're getting dry here."

"Hold on a damn minute, Cat and let me get the fucking cork out, will ya?"

"Damn amateurs. Give me one of them."

"Got it." (pop!)

"Well, get another one out and I'll show you how it's done."

"Cool yer jets, Cat. I've seen you open champagne before and I don't need it all over my dress. Specially after that last time."

"Okay, okay. I know how to open champagne. I just wanted to bounce the cork off of that asshole from DDD&B."

"Well, you missed, but you sure got me and the rest of the table."

"Okay, I said I'm sorry. Sheesh, Nancy, give me a break, will ya?"

"Okay, you're forgiven, but only under one conditions: Tony opens the bottles, okay?"

"Okay. Now where were we?"

"Oregon."

"Right! To Oregon!"

"There's a cop car."

"Don't worry, sweetie. Cops don't pull over people in Rolls Royce's."

"This ain't a Roller, Cat."

"What? We're slumming tonight?"

"Rolls don't sit five, Cat. Don't you remember discussing that with the limo company?"

"Oh yeah. Well, where's my stash?"

"Tony?"

"Here you go. You got a light?"

"Yeah. How come you don't?"

"Bic's don't go with Bill Blass."

"That's Armani, you peasant."

"You want to light that joint or bust my chops? It's a fucking suit, as far as I'm concerned."

"Whatever. This car must have a lighter."

"Yeah, just hold yer horses." Nancy said as she pushed the lighter in the armrest in.

"Where's the window button. Oh yeah. Driver?"

"Yes, mam?"

"Go through San Anselmo, we need a lighter."

"Very well, mam."

We walked into the cigar store on the corner and five minute later we walked out with gold Dunhill's for everyone. Kathy was a bit bemused at how fast the Cat had spent eleven hundred dollars, but Nancy and I thought it was funny and Gwen was used to the Cat, so she was the only one feeling odd about it. Nancy laughed as the Cat handed the driver a box of cigars.

"Reminds me of that time in London."

The Cat cracked up. "Yeah, that was funny."

"What was?" Gwen asked.

"We came out of this club and there was a limo with the driver holding the door open so we got in."

"So what's so funny about that?"

"It wasn't our limo!"

"Oh, that must have been embarrassing."

"Naw."

"So what did you do?"

"The Cat asked the driver what he was waiting for, and he said something about this car was for Mr. Harrison. So the Cat looks out and there's George Harrison standing on the curb."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so she says, 'well, just don't stand there, get in' to George."

"And did he?"

"Yeah, he did!"

"Oh, man, I wish I'd have been there! So what happened next?"

"Well, Rolls aren't real big, so I wound up sitting on him while the Cat wound up sitting on Tony. Then we went out and partied."

"That must have been odd."

"Oh well. The Road, y'know?"

"Wait a minute. You went out partying with George Harrison?"

"Naw. We dropped him off at his house and he had his chauffeur take us around for the rest of the night."

"You got into George Harrison's limo and he was okay with it? You mean George Harrison the Beatle?" Kathy asked.

"Yeah."

"And he was okay with that?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"You gotta be putting me on."

"No, they're not." Gwen put in.

"He just let some complete strangers use his car? Just like that?"

"Kath, we weren't complete strangers. We'd been talking at the party before then, and we hit it off okay."

"You said you went out partying, not that you'd been partying."

"Well, Tony knew him before that, so it's not like we were complete strangers." Kathy looked over at me and I shrugged. "Besides, he's a nice guy, and it kind of struck him as funny."

"And he didn't say anything about it? I mean, it must have been a little bit odd, right?"

"Yeah, well, he did say that this would be a bit difficult to explain to his wife, or something like that."

"And he just let you into his car like that?"

"Well, his chauffeur was the one that let us in." I pointed out.

"And he just went along with it?"

"Well, yeah."

"Man, that's weird."

"Cat had said she'd photograph his wife." Nancy explained.

"You haven't ever seen those three out on the road." Gwen said.

"The Road!" Cat toasted.

"The Road!" And we clinked glasses and I drained mine and started to get the foil off of another bottle.

As the Top of the Mark is famous and expensive, we started out there. Kathy had been a bit subdued while the Cat and Nancy filled her in on some of the rest of the story about the party at Elton's that we had lucked into through the Cat's connections in the fashion world and she listened to the story with a wide eyed amazement. She kept glancing over at me, to check and see if she was having her leg pulled. She was pretty nonplused when the Cat got out of the limo and on the way in handed the doorman an empty bottle and said casually, 'here, would you mind dumping it in the trash for me? Thanks.' The guy must have been used to the ways of the way too wealthy, because he didn't even arch an eyebrow, merely took the empty and said, 'Certainly.'

Dinner was off the top of the menu, starting with about three or four appetizers and working our way through the lobster bisque, filet mignon, grilled swordfish, lobster and whatever else was expensive. The Cat made the sommelier's night with, "As long as it's the most expensive stuff in the cellar and goes with whatever people are ordering, the only thing you have to remember is never to let me see an empty glass on this table."

I thought that Kathy was kind of wondering if we were going to get wild and crazy at the table, but we behaved ourselves and a couple fairly affluent people stopped by the table and said a few words with the Cat. One of them worked for DDD & B and she had a few words with him about an upcoming shoot. He offered to pick up the bill, but laughed when she said he already had it and slapped down an American Express card with his company's name on it. I recognized him in a vague way, but Nancy remembered his name and he remembered mine. When he left, I said nice running into him again and he laughed and wished us all a good night.