The Author
Chapter 4

Copyright© 2008 by dak

"So ... The moon"

I sat in the white dust looking at the earth, By my cell phones count it had been 5 hours since I was dumped here.

"yeah ... great"

I still had not figured out what I was supposed to do, I had tried jumping, I had try thinking real hard, I even tried flapping my arms, and still I couldn't figure out how to activate my powers. I had made a dust angel into the surface, I was getting really bored.

Sure the not needing air thing was cool, OR the fact that I wasn't cold, I guess that counted as a Super Power. I took out my cell phone to check the time.

"Full bars? How the hell?"

What was I going to do with that, hmmm I could call work? Maybe my friend Ted in accounting could help.

"How the hell would Ted help? He was a drinking buddy, not a Nasa Scientist"


Three hours later

"So yeah Ted, like I was saying if some God like person gave you super powers how do you suppose you activated them? Like how does superman fly? Hypothetically of course."

"uh huh"

"yeah"

"Greatest American hero? Yeah I remember that show"

"Yeah great theme song, believe it or not Im walking on air"

"da-da-daa-da-da"

"OHH yeah Ted gee I wouldn't of thought of running start, Something else Ted that didn't work!"

"What do I mean it didn't work? I ... I ... I mean its been done I was trying to think of something original."

"oh uh, what do you mean how am I talking to you while eating an apple at my desk? OH um ... Bluetooth headset"

I hung up the phone, Damn I had forgotten the whole multiple universe thing this wasn't my world. Maybe I could call Jeremy, my old child hood friend he might know, I couldn't find his phone number in my cell phone, lucky thing it was an easy number to remember. I waited while it rang then a women answered, good ole Jeremy got laid.

"Hey honey whats up"

um honey?

"HI, um can I speak with Jeremy?"

"Jeremy? Honey you want to speak my dad?"

Dad what the hell?

"Nooo I want to speak to Jeremy Chambers?"

"Honey you ok, why would you want to speak with Dad?"

Dad? Wait a sec, Jeremy was a Junior, his dad would be Jeremy Chambers too, Jeremy didn't have any Sisters.

"umm Who is this?"

"Who is this?!? Whats wrong honey are you ok, did you hit your head? Its Jenny your WIFE"

OHHHHHH EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I hung up the phone and shivered, Jeremy was A CHICK AND MY WIFE, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I laid down in the dust, ok so I think I found the difference in this universe. Back to waiting, it was as I was wondering how sound even traveled from my mouth to the phone microphone I got a text.

It said

: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU CAN'T EVEN GET OFF THE MOON?!!?:

All caps, I hated assholes who typed in all caps, I typed out a reply

:Yeah how do you expect me to figure this out with no instructions?:

I waited a second before the reply came

:FINE ILL BE THERE ONCE I PICK UP MY KIDS FROM SCHOOL:

oh ok, wait he had kids? WTF...

I started to doddle in the dust of the moon, grabbing a few rocks to get as souvenirs

Suddenly a Honda Odyssey Mini-Van, pulled up and the window rolled down, There was the man in the Hawaiian shirt.

"Get in D-I-P-S-H-I-T, Sorry gotta spell it out no cussing in front of the kids"

I got up off the dirt frowning, I looked in the window and sure enough there where two child safety seats with two very Asian looking kids.

"You kidnapped two Kids?!?"

 
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