Chapter 16

Both women knew they were in no physical danger as neither Donald nor Terry had a violent nature, yet neither woman, as exciting as the affairs were, wanted to lose her marriage.

On the other hand, Coming to grips intellectually with a dilemma was one thing, exhibiting the fortitude to act accordingly was another. Despite both women resolving to end their affairs, it took less than two weeks for Laura and Vivian to renew their adulterous relationships.

LAURA

Despite being aware that she was losing perspective, Laura was rapidly falling in love with the graduate student and spending more and more time at his apartment. She knew they couldn't be seen together in public, yet yearned to walk down the street holding hands, going out to dinner or attending a concert with her young paramour.

She was also aware of the pensive stares she sometimes got from Donald. She knew he had to be suspicious or at the very least puzzled by her frequent absences, the excuses for which were beginning to wear a bit thin. It had been almost a month since she and Donald had made love. The last time had been quite unsatisfactory for them both and despite her best intentions she could not help but realize how much better lover Kyle was than her husband. Younger, more energetic and more knowledgeable, Kyle was everything she could ever want in a lover. She still loved Donald but that love was more a familiar sense of comfort than romantic involvement. Yet she did not wish to hurt him. He had been a faithful and devoted husband for twenty-four years and even if he hadn't been as romantic or sensual as she might have liked, she continued to admire and respect his intellect even if that intellect, at times, deprived her of his company and companionship.

Resolved that she must end the affair, Laura decided that talking to Kyle by telephone was the only safe way. Twice previously she had tried going to his apartment and twice the very presence of the young man was enough to destroy her resolve, the result being another round of lovemaking and her falling even more deeply in love.

"Hello."

"Kyle, it's Laura."

"Oh, hi Laura, want to come over?"

"No! That's what I want to talk about. I ... I can't see you any more. I'm destroying my marriage bit by bit. Donald has to know something is happening. It's only a matter of time before he finds out."

"You want to end it?"

"I don't WANT to. I HAVE to."

"Are you sure? You know you've said that before and..."

"Yes, I know. I've come over there and started to end it and then you take me in your arms and..."

"Maybe you should come over here now."

"No, if I do that, I'm lost. We both know I can't resist you, your charm, your..."

"Lovemaking?" Laura was silent, She didn't want to acknowledge the young man was right. "Look, Laura, we both enjoy..."

"That's the problem. I enjoy it too much. I've gotten to the point of being willing to put twenty-four years of marriage in jeopardy just to steal some time with you."

"And you're sure of this?"

There was the slightest hesitation.

" ... Yes. Yes, I MUST!"

"Then this is good-bye?"

"Yes. Good-bye, Kyle. Have a wonderful life."

"Good-bye, Laura."

The line went dead and the faculty wife spent the next few hours crying.

The next few days were miserable for Laura. She tried to resolve herself to a continued life with Donald but somehow could not. It was not that life with Donald was all that bad but rather that Kyle, having come into her life, had meant so much and now there was a tremendous emptiness that she had no idea as to how to fill.

Donald was certainly aware of her dilemma. he had suspected for some time. He had said nothing hoping it was simply a passing phase, perhaps a last fling at youth and sensualness which they no longer seemed to share. A close friend had revealed that she had seen Laura entering the graduate student's apartment on more than one occasion and once after checking and finding her last several reasons for being gone were bogus, he had followed her to the young man's apartment where she emerged some three hours later, the two kissing heavily at the door. Later when he returned home she had told him she was working on a charity project with several female friends. He had said nothing, but from that time forward he became acutely aware of the phoniness of her reasons for being away. She had grown more distant both physically and as a companion, seeming preoccupied during their conversations and opting out of the few times when he had made sexual overtures. And now she was clearly miserable. She had not been to see her lover in over a week and it was telling on her. Her face held a steady slight frown and there were slight circles under her eyes. She obviously wasn't sleeping well, the life was gone from her voice and she had lost interest in many of the topics they often discussed.