Chapter 8

Silence reigned. Jen had put her arms around her knees and hadn't said a single word since the phone rang and they got the news. For some reason Devlin had reacted much better than her. It took him only a few minutes to regain his self-confidence and after that he was his usual self. He was barking orders and everyone was running around trying to please him.

Jen kept hearing Hannah's last words, "I'll make you feel sorry daddy. I promise". That brat! If Jen was allowed to spank her ... She had never been more terrified in her life. They were in the mountains for God's sake! No child could survive out there alone! If Hannah stayed out all night she could be cold, starved to death and most probably she could have an accident and then they would never find her.

Maddy had almost suffered a heart attack when she heard the news. They had to call a doctor and he kept her sedated. He warned Devlin that Maddy's heart was weak and it would be better for her to avoid the excitement that Hannah's disappearance had caused. Maddy would sleep until morning and they really hoped that the brat would have returned by then.

Jen was still waiting for Devlin in the library. She couldn't help but wander if he would blame her, after all Hannah was her responsibility. Not to mention that it was her decision to leave Hannah alone for a while. Well, if he did blame her she would agree with him.

Devlin got in the room looking grim. He looked at her and then opened a cabinet and poured whiskey in two glasses. He gave one to her and sat down. Jen took a sip and felt the liquid burning her throat and stomach.

"You look exhausted. Why don't you go to bed? There's nothing more you can do here anyway".

He sounded concerned but she refused. "Even if I go to bed I won't be able to sleep".

"Jen if you collapse you won't be able to help Hannah when she returns".

Jen tried to smile but it was impossible. "Help her? I'm going to spank her bottom and lock her in her room until she turns fifty!"

Devlin laughed at the punishment. "Miss Lawson I thought that psychologists didn't believe in spanking".

He was teasing her and the iron grip in her heart loosened a little. "Fuck psychologists! What I want to know is if you agree. You are her father after all".

Devlin stopped smiling and the tension was palpable. "Jen you asked me before why I never talk about my wife. Do you still want to know?" Jen nodded, too stunned to speak. She sipped the honey-coloured liquid and waited patiently for Devlin to go on. "I met Sarah, Hannah's mother when I was 21. I had all these dreams, I wanted to be rich and have things that my parents couldn't afford. Sarah said that she wanted a family. She was an orphan, you see. So, we got married and we were happy until Hannah was born, two years later. Sarah didn't care about the baby. She wanted to go to parties, to wear expensive clothes, to drink champagne. Hannah was just an obstacle".

He paused and Jen realized that her heart was pounding. Hannah's mother didn't want her? How could anybody choose clothes and parties over a child? Jen could not comprehend such cruelty. Devlin spoke again and she focused on him.

"Sarah didn't die during Hannah's birth. That was something I told Hannah to prevent her from asking anymore questions. In fact Sarah lest us one day and much later I heard that she was sick. It was lung cancer and it was killing her. I offered to pay everything, we were still married after all but she refused. Before she died, however, she told me the truth".

Jen looked at him expectantly. He spoke in a monotone and kept his face expressionless, "I am not Hannah's biological father".

"Are you sure?"

"DNA tests don't lie Jen", he replied.

"Do you-"

"No, I don't know who her father is and I don't care. As far as I am concerned I am her father".

Jen sensed that there was something he wasn't telling her. She tried to think like he did. "Are you afraid that Hannah will want to find her father?"

"Yes. But what I'm worried about is that once I tell her she will hate me".

Jen felt the tears welling up. The cold-hearted, mighty Alexander Devlin loved Hannah more than she had realized. "Alex", she said softly and the fact that she used his first name startled him, "it doesn't matter who had sex with Sarah 12 years ago. You are doing your best to raise Hannah, you give her love, protection and that is all that matters. You are her real father and even if you tell her the truth she won't hate you. Hannah adores you. You should see the way she looks at you. Hell, she is afraid that you won't get married again for her sake".

Devlin's eyes opened wide. "Hannah said that?"

"You two are more alike than you know. You are trying to protect each other and yourselves all the time. I think that you should talk to your daughter and, Alex, be honest. She's not a baby anymore. She can handle the truth". Devlin frowned and scowled but he didn't protest.

The phone rang and Jen felt her heart give an extra beat. "Did they find her?"

"No. Still no news".

"Mr. Devlin I should say that Hannah's disappearance is my fault and if you-"

But he hugged her before she could finish her sentence. Jen couldn't understand why he was hugging her but then she leaned on him and she didn't care anymore. The smell of sandalwood reached her nostrils and his warmth enveloped her. He had kissed her so many times but this embrace was the closest to him she had ever felt.

"Your fault? Why would I blame you?", he whispered and his hand stroked her back. The small circles were so soothing that Jen sighed. "Hannah tried to punish me. Trust me, I blame myself not you".