Chapter 4

That night Rocky felt strange ringing the doorbell of the house he had built and paid for, but these were strange times. Carrie opened the door after about thirty seconds and gave him an inquisitive look.

"Why did you ring the doorbell, Rocky; you live here."

Rocky just shrugged and walked through the door. Not hugging and kissing Carrie as soon as he walked in was another first for him. Realizing what he had lost was breaking his heart.

"I don't know really, just with everything going on, I thought it appropriate," he replied.

It was her turn to nod.

"Well, it's not necessary, Rocky," she said, her exasperation obvious. "This is where you belong. I want you home; I can't stand being apart from you like this. I want my husband back, I want us back."

"You weren't thinking about your husband or your marriage while your face was planted between your lover's legs."

Carrie recoiled as if he had slapped her, then her eyes flashed angrily.

"That was unnecessary, cruel and crude," she hissed.

He shrugged again, seemingly unconcerned about her feelings, while loathing himself for what he'd said.

"Yes it was, but it was also true. How do you think I felt when I saw the two of you together, the love of my life rolling around on the bed in the throes of passion with someone else? You killed something between us yesterday. How am I supposed to act?"

Carrie glared at him as she fought down her anger. She took a calming breath and put her hand on his arm.

"This isn't like us Baby, arguing as if we were on Jerry Springer. Come in and sit down, let me get you a cup of coffee and we can discuss this like adults."

Carrie spun around and walked into the kitchen. Rocky followed and sat down at the breakfast bar as she fetched him a cup of coffee. Carrie was the talker in their relationship, it came naturally to her, and she had honed her skills through her employment in advertising. Rocky often said that she would have made as good a lawyer as her sister Doris. Carrie added some half and half to his coffee, then set it in front of him. She stood on the other side of the bar and took a sip from a glass of white wine. She set the glass down and looked at him, her expression open and serious.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Baby, that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Nothing that happened between Amy and me was any sort of reflection on you. You need to believe that and let it go. I know I'm repeating myself here, but I want you to think again about whether I've neglected you or denied you anything since our talk about me spending too much time with Amy."

Rocky thought for a minute, trying to find a hole in her logic. He suppressed a smile when he hit on an idea.

"So let me see if I have the concept here. What you are saying is that if I have an affair with my friend Maria, it's okay as long as I don't change the way I treat you."

Carrie's eyes narrowed at his declaration.

"No, Rocky, you being with Maria is not even close to being the same. You are already too close to her anyway. She's in love with you; if you slept with her, she'd find a way to make you fall in love with her too. Besides, there is nothing Maria could do for you that I can't and won't do at the drop of a hat, including sharing with you if that's what you want."

Rocky listened to Carrie and carefully considered what she said. She was correct, in that he knew in his heart it wouldn't take much for him to fall in love with Maria. However, the other part about sharing tweaked the germ of an idea.

"Okay, I understand now," he said. "I can't do what you are doing because I might fall in love, but for you that is not a problem. I don't need anyone else because you will fuck me anytime I want, but you can have someone else because I don't have a pussy for you to eat."

Carrie stared at him as if he'd defecated on the floor. When she spoke, he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"I didn't know you could be this hateful, Rocky. The things you are saying make is seem as if I'm shallow and nasty. Is that truly how you feel about me?"

Rocky bit back a bitter reply; this wasn't getting them anywhere, and it wasn't his nature to be petty and spiteful.

"No, of course not. I'm just hurt and angry. I will tell you this, though, suddenly, I am wondering if all I have been is your camouflage for the last six years. Was I the husband you put up with and paraded around while you lived some secret life? I was perfect for you wasn't I, a convenient smokescreen for your family and your work. That, in turn, makes me wonder if you really love me as much as you claim, or if you just love the idea of having a husband."

Carrie was crying by the time he finished talking, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes and sniffed. Some of what he was saying was uncomfortably close to the truth, but she did love him, damn it.

"I am in love with you Rocky, and I love being your wife, how many times do I have to tell you that? You are blowing everything else way out of proportion. You knew I was bi-sexual when you married me, hell, it even excited you. I can't help the way I'm wired, but I love you enough to at least share that with you."

Suddenly, the real issue dawned on Rocky. It wasn't really about Carrie having sex with Amy. Heck, he had been turned on when she described some of her dalliances with other girls when she was in college. If Carrie would have come to him and told him she was attracted to Amy, he may have even welcomed the both of them into his bed. The way he doted on her all the time, giving her whatever she wanted, he might have even permitted Carrie to take Amy as a lover, as long as she told him all about it.

It wasn't about sex at all. It was about betrayal, deception, and most of all it was about lies. If anything, he had always been convinced that Carrie was honest with him, but since she met Amy she'd become the consummate liar.

He finally unleashed his anger on Carrie and it wasn't pretty.

"Carrie, shut up and listen to me for once. You always have the answer don't you? It was just a fling and nothing more. That's the way you see it, isn't it? Poor Rocky's blowing it all out of proportion. I just realized something, my dear wife," he said with a little derision in his voice.

"I haven't been sick at my stomach and tossing and turning in the bed the past few nights because you slept with another woman. I could get over that. Heck, I might even enjoy watching. My heart is breaking because you suddenly became a liar."

"Rocky, that's a cruel thing to say," Carrie interrupted with tears in her eyes.

"It's the truth, Carrie. How many times have you lied to me the past two months? It began at that damned picnic at the lake. Oh, you were so smooth when you told me that the two of you were just riding the jet skis. Carrie, I heard you shut them down. You were gone for over an hour; when you got back Amy wouldn't even look me in the face, but you did and lied to me with a smile on your face."

Rocky saw a look of horror suddenly come to her face.

"Are you going to deny any of this? Carrie, you're still lying!"

"I am not," she protested. "You know about Amy now."

"Not because of you. No, you share with me only what you have to tell, and even then it is always in a manner that shines the best possible light on you. 'Amy is a friend that I slept with a couple of times, that's all there is to it.' That's what you said. We both know that's a lie, Carrie. Just how many times did you fuck her? If you're telling the truth now, just tell me, how many times did you make love to your little lover?"

Carrie was shocked. She couldn't bring herself to answer him, because she knew what he was saying was true. She'd slept with Amy dozens of times.

"You lied to me by acting like you'd broken it off with Amy. I forgave you. I knew you were lying to me that night when I confronted you. It was a big mistake when I didn't press you. I should have come clean myself. Carrie, I taped your conversation with her in the car the day after the picnic at the lake. I listened when she showed you her freshly shaved pussy. I knew, but hoped you would see how it hurt me and would stop on your own. You acted like you were putting me first, but you only became a better liar. You'd still be lying, if you weren't so fucking careless about the two hundred texts messages on your cell phone. Dammit Carrie, couldn't you two go five minutes without communicating. Why should I believe you when you tell me you love me and only me? Yeah, you've been fucking me for the past two months, but you've been much more intimate with your little whore."

Carrie was devastated. For the first time in her life someone had stood up to her. It hurt her deeply. For the first time she began to see how much she'd hurt Rocky.

"Oh God, Rocky, what have I done?" She cried out.

Tears were pouring down her face, and Rocky's love for her overcame his anger. He moved across the room and put his arms around her.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Carrie sobbed.

"It's not a question of whether I can forgive you or not. It's a matter of whether I can ever trust you again. How can I know that you're not lying to me right now, just to get me back? I'm going to have to think about this a long time."

Carrie looked into his eyes and said with all the determination she had, "I'll win back your trust, Rocky. I promise you I will."

Rocky gave her no assurances at that moment, and it hurt her deeply, but what could she expect? Rocky was weary of fighting, so he steered the conversation toward upcoming commitments they had made as a couple. Carrie was relieved when he agreed to go to her parents' anniversary party with her as if nothing had happened. Carrie was also encouraged by the fact that he didn't mention lawyers or divorce while they were talking. The big disappointment for her was when he insisted on going back to the apartment, instead of staying with her. She longed for him to stay more than she'd ever longed for anything before, but for the first time she understood why he couldn't stay. Now her heart was breaking too. Another thing troubled her about him going to the apartment. She was very well aware of the fact that a beautiful woman lived in the same building, and that woman was already in love with her husband. For the first time she really feared she might lose Rocky forever.

When Rocky returned to his apartment, the phone started ringing as soon as he walked in. Curious as to who had this number, he answered it. The caller was Maria.

"Hello Boss, if you aren't doing anything, come over and visit with us. Amanda missed seeing you this afternoon, plus, I just made a key lime pie and a fresh pitcher of iced tea."

Rocky changed his shirt, brushed his teeth and headed over. He went up the outside stairs that ended on a landing outside the kitchen he had added to the upstairs. For the second time that evening, he stood outside a house he owned, waiting for a woman to bid him enter; the irony was not lost on him. Maria opened the door and greeted him with a friendly kiss. There was no tongue involved in the kiss, but Maria's lips were soft and sweet against his. She giggled when she stepped back and saw his confused expression. Amanda was wrapped around his legs by then, so he knelt and hugged her as she kissed him also.

"I guess you know where you can find two women that are always happy to see you," Maria said teasingly.

Rocky stood up and just looked at her. His expression was now one of bemused humor.

"Wow," was all he said.

Maria laughed happily again, and took his hand.

"Come in and sit down, we were just about to have a snack before Amanda takes a bath."

Rocky let her pull him into the little dining area and sat down where she indicated. He watched her as she walked over to the kitchen counter to get him a piece of pie. She looked great, wearing a dark green tartan plaid miniskirt and a scoop neck white sweater. She was bare legged and bare foot; her olive complexion and smooth skin made stockings unnecessary. The white sweater also looked incredible on her, as a canyon of cleavage nestled under the scooped neckline. The three of them sat chatting while they ate, Maria on one side of him and Amanda on the other. When Amanda finished her Oreos and milk, Maria sent Rocky to the living room to watch television.

Rocky was unaware of the effect both Maria and Amanda were having on him. He still loved Carrie with all of his heart, but he didn't believe he could trust her anymore. His heart ached as he remembered her condition when he left, but his head had doubts. Was it just another act? Maria on the other hand was utterly open to him. She was kind, considerate, and above all else honest. Of that he had no doubts. Then there was little Amanda. He adored her. He loved the feeling of family he experienced in Maria's apartment. He was beginning to realize that he and Carrie had never shared something like this. He missed it from his first marriage.