It is one of the facts of my life that for every good thing I do I also do something bad. I don't know why this is, but it seems to be a part of my karma - something to keep everything in balance. A case in point is what I did for Jimmy Olsen and what I did to my mother-in-law.

Jimmy was one of my prize students. He was All State as a quarterback and a short stop. He was National Honor Society academically and he was one of the most popular boys in school. He had the rugged good looks that had all the girls wanting to go steady with him and he was smart enough, at least in my estimation, to give all of them a chance. The last thing that Jimmy needed was to get emotionally involved at this early stage in his life. I'd seen more than one lad with a brilliant future ahead of him end up pumping gas after hooking up with some empty headed bimbo with big boobs.

We had been having some drug problems at our school and one-day word came down from on high that we were to pull a surprise locker inspection. The word spread through the school like wild fire. In theory, the teachers were supposed to be already in place watching the banks of lockers to see that students didn't get to the lockers and remove anything, but the assistant principle grabbed me on my way up the stairs and gave me a list of kids that he suspected of drug use and told me to be extra vigilant when searching their lockers. As a result of his stopping me I was a little late getting to my post on the third floor. I got to the top of the stairwell just in time to see Jimmy take something from his locker and put it in his pocket. He started to turn and go but I hollered at him to hold up. He turned and saw me and I saw his face change - he was scared! I walked up to him:

"What did you put in your pocket Jimmy."

He said "Nothing. I was just putting some books in my locker."

"Don't lie to me Jimmy. I saw you take something out of the locker and put it in your pocket. Give it to me."

He hesitated, but then he took his hand out of his pocket and handed me a glass n bottle with an eyedropper in it. As soon as I saw the eyedropper I knew what it was - date rape drug. The fact that it wasn't weed, crack cocaine or heroin wouldn't have mattered as far as the administration was concerned. Jimmy would be suspended and that would cost him his full ride scholarship at State so I put the bottle in my pocket and said:

"Get out of here and keep your mouth shut."

I'll never know why I didn't take that bottle and pour it down the drain. I walked around with it in my pocket until the end of the day and then I tossed it into my briefcase. It rolled around in the briefcase for a week or so before I took it out of the case and dropped it in the center desk drawer of my desk at home. It sat there almost three months until I suddenly understood why I had kept it. I had done a good deed in helping Jimmy out and now I needed a bad deed to balance things. Not that I actually thought like that, it was just the way my life seemed to go.

My mother-in-law hates me. This is not paranoia on my part, she does actually have an intense dislike for me. The woman did everything in her power to keep Debbie from marrying me. She even lied to Debbie and told her that she had been driving past the Motel 6 and she had seen me going into a room with a prostitute. Fortunately on the day in question (and the two days before and after) I happened to be nine hundred miles away at a seminar and I had all the receipts to prove it. I got along great with Debbie's dad, but you could feel the chill in the room when Debbie's mom and I were in a room together. Debbie's mom constantly makes snide remarks when I'm around and she criticizes every thing that I do. I do my best to grin and bear it just so I can stay on the good side of her father when what I really want to do is strangle the bitch with my bare hands.

For the past seven years I have been playing poker every Thursday night with a bunch of guys I went to college with. The games rotated between the seven of us and on this particular Thursday night it was my turn to be the host. I got home from school that night to find that we were blessed with the presence of my mother-in-law. Debbie gave me the bad news.

"Daddy had to take a two day business trip to Denver and you know how much she hates to be alone. I told her she could stay here with us, you don't mind do you?"

What was I going to say? "Yes I mind. Get the stupid bitch out of here?"

I said, "No dear, it is quite all right, but don't forget, the card game is here tonight and you know how she gets when she is around me. Try and keep her out of the way so the rest of the guys won't be exposed to her tongue."

Naturally Debbie wasn't able to keep her mother out of the way and the fact that there were six guys there that she didn't know did nothing to slow down the flow of her caustic comments. Debbie hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days and she went to bed early. We weren't halfway through the game before Bill said:

"Just what the hell is her fucking problem?"

I told him that she just didn't like me. Jack said, "What the bitch needs is a hard cock shoved up her ass."

"I wouldn't fuck her with your dick" I said.

"Oh I don't know about that," said Greg. "She's got a decent looking ass and that is a pretty good rack she's sporting."

Then Hal said that he thought Bea was kind of sexy, in an older woman way and Mike chimed in with "I'd fuck her."

Chuck laughed and said, "Think you could get her to pull a train for us?"

The words were no sooner out of Chuck's mouth and I knew what I was going to do. I smiled at the guys and said, "I think that I can get her to do just that."

I'd put up with Bea's shit for years and I was going to get back at her. I told the guys that I was sitting out the next hand and then I went to my den and got the bottle of date rape drug out of the desk drawer. I went back to the table and said; "If you guys want her to pull a train I can make it happen, but if I make it happen I get to videotape it, okay?"

The guys looked at each other and then said okay.