I told my wife, Emily, that although my seminar had ended a day early, I wasn't able to switch flights. That meant I would still be returning home Tuesday evening and she would have to pick me up at the airport around six. She complained bitterly that I had to be away another night. Then she told me she would just be that much happier to see me when I did get home.
I thought about that for an hour or so. I realized I had been away a lot lately and that I should be more considerate of my wife of 17 years. I went to the airport and tried one of those stand-by things. I was ready to give up when I realized that there was a flight into an airport near my home city. The airport I use, and prefer, is about an hour north of where I live. This other airport was almost two hours south and I had never actually used it.
I checked and found there was a flight leaving for that airport in half an hour, so I went to the desk to see if I could get a ticket. I was amazed at how easy it all was. An hour later I was in the air and would be on the ground in three. I could rent a car and be home my midnight! Emily would have to find ways to express her pleasure at my early return. I mentally made a list of suggestions and smiled to myself. I decided not to call her and make my appearance a complete surprise.
It was just shy of midnight when I pulled into my driveway. The house was dark and Emily's car was not there. I thought that was odd as I carried my bag inside and unpacked. Where would she be that time of night?
I decided to forgo my surprise. I called her on her cell. She picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?" she mumbled. She sounded groggy.
"Hey, Em! It's me. I thought I'd call and see how things are going," I told her glibly.
"Everything is fine, but it's well after midnight, Ron, and I was sleeping," she responded. "I'll be at the airport at six tomorrow to pick you up. Don't worry."
I have to admit I was confused and more than a little curious about her sleeping, but not at home. I proceeded cautiously.
"Where are you? I tried calling our home phone and I only got the answering machine," I told her.
"Where would you think I am, silly? I'm in bed. Our phone hasn't been working right. I have the service man coming tomorrow to see what the problem is. Several people have told me the same thing," she yawned. "Just use my cell if you want to reach me."
My mind was really spinning! Was she in bed upstairs? I had unpacked my bags and didn't see her? That seemed unlikely. She was flat out lying to me! But why?
"Well, I won't be on that flight at six, so don't drive out to pick me up," I warned. "It seems that we have to stay a few more days. I'll call you when I'm certain of a time and day I will be returning."
"Oh, Sweetie! I'll miss you! Get home as soon as you can," she gushed. "I can't wait to see you!"
"I'll be in touch, Darling. Sorry I woke you up. Sleep tight and dream of me," I finished.
"I will," she promised. Did I hear her giggle as she hung up the cell?
I dialed my home phone and it rang fine. I considered answering my call and having a brilliant conversation with myself, but didn't have the heart for it. I went up to our room and searched under the bed and any place a person could hide. Ladies and gentlemen, E had left the building!
I am in sales and not rocket science, but my nose worked. I smelled something rotten. How dumb was I? Pretty dumb was my honest answer. I got up early the next morning and moved the rental car across the street. Around 7 AM I saw Emily's car pull into the drive. A man was riding with her. I hid in a closet off the foyer. I kept the door open a crack. Emily unlocked the door and the two of them walked in.
"I just want to change and get ready for work," she told the guy. "I'll get clothes to wear for tomorrow so we won't have to come back here tomorrow morning. I'll be back in ten minutes."
"I would help you, but then I would have to fuck you again," he laughed. "Then I'd have to fire you for being late!"
"I don't think you would fire me," Emily responded from upstairs. "You like me working under you way too much! Even your wife thinks I'm the perfect secretary. What would you tell her?"
So this was Emily's new boss. He is the guy she found obnoxious and arrogant! I wondered what she would do if she liked the guy? He had only been with the company a couple weeks if my memory was correct. He was a fast worker!
"I told her you were the same age as her mother and weighed 220 pounds," laughed her boss. "When she sees you, I'll have to fire you anyway!" Then he added, "I told her I was house hunting this week. Now it looks like I won't be getting too far from the hotel for a couple days."
Emily returned to the room and laughed. She looked great and Mr. Boss, (Was his name Joe?) grabbed her and gave her a slow, wet kiss. I was tempted to grab an umbrella off the shelf and shove it up his ass!
"Why don't you plan on spending tomorrow night with me, right here. We can go to dinner and be in by 8 PM. You may get lucky when we get back and you will be looking at a house, after you have your way with the owner," offered Emily. "If you're 'up to it', you can have me in every room! Would you like that tour?"
"What if hubby comes home early?" asked the boss person.
"Jeff, you are so nervous!" she chuckled. (So his name was Jeff!) "Ron will call so I can pick him up at the airport. He'll give me a day's notice, so if he doesn't call today, he won't be coming home tomorrow."
"Good enough," Jeff told her. "I don't want some jealous husband trying to kill me."
"Ron is a pussycat," answered Emily. "He'd probably offer you a beer and apologize to me for driving me into your arms."
"That sounds like a wimp to me," offered Jeff. "My wife would have my balls!"
"And I would have Ron's if he ever cheated on me. Fear keeps you men in line," then Emily added, "most of the time. You don't seem to be too frightened of your wife."
"Believe me, I'd be in deep shit," Jeff responded. "I'd be lucky to escape with my life, let alone my balls! Luckily she's in Houston, so I feel pretty safe."
That was all I heard as they went out the door. My face was red and my blood pressure must have been off the charts! My wife was not only unfaithful, she held me in contempt! I sat down and pondered the situation. Gradually a plan began to take shape.
I remembered that Emily told me her new boss was being transferred from the company headquarters in Houston. I needed to find out what his name was, so I made a few phone calls. A few dumb questions directed at a woman receptionist at Emily's work quickly garnered all the information I needed.
His name was Jeffrey Ross and he had a wife and two teenage kids. She was remaining in Texas until school was out and then they would be joining Jeffy-boy here in Springfield. He was looking for a house every night after work.
I looked up the name Ross in Houston on a switchboard thing on the internet and found three Jeff Ross's in Houston. I struck pay dirt with the first call.
"Mrs. Ross? Mrs. Jeffrey Ross?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm Mrs. Jeffrey Ross. Can I help you?" she replied.
"Does your husband work for Halifax Company?" I asked.
"Yes, he does," she responded.
"This is Mr. Don Watson with the Halifax Company," I lied. "We are planning a little welcome party for your husband, Jeff, and you. We'd like to supply you with round trip tickets to Springfield and back. This is to be a total surprise for Jeff. Could you make it?"
I couldn't help thinking what a prick I was, but all is fair in love and war. I was at war.
"I could get my sister to watch the children," she answered. "It sounds very nice. When is the affair?"
I almost gave a smart-ass answer to her question, but held my tongue.
"It's tomorrow evening. You'll need to catch flight 1435 on American. Just charge it to your card and the company will compensate Jeff in his check," I told her. "We'll have someone at the airport to pick you up. The flight will arrive at 5 PM and the party will be at eight, so there should be lots of time. Remember to keep this a secret, ok?"
She promised not to tell and I ended the conversation. Then I started calling a few of Emily's friends and relatives to invite them to a surprise party for Emily. I told them she was getting a raise from her boss and I felt it was cause to celebrate. Everyone seemed satisfied with that explanation and the need to keep it secret from Emily. I told them to be at our home by seven to be certain to be there when Emily got in.
.... There is more of this story ...