Chapter 3: Calling it Quits

On Saturday Ed took me to see our parents' burial spot. It was as I had pictured, quiet and serene. That's when he broached the subject. "Want to work for me while you get your feet on the ground?"

I thanked him, but declined his offer. How could I live in the same house with them, watch them send each other eye-contact messages, listen to the pet names they used, sleep across the hall from their room, wonder if they were making love and worst of all, share the bathroom with her? Didn't he know I loathed them?

Ed tried again on Sunday. "Ben, I'm not asking you to make it a career, but you have more experience in the trade than the kids I have working for me." He made it sound more like a plea than an offer.

What was I going to do, lounge around the house while they went to work? "As long as you know it's only until something comes up."

"Did you hear that, Honey? Ben's going to work for me. It'll be like old times."

Jen smiled and reached for my hand. "Come to my office. We need to add you to the payroll," she said. Her hand felt the same as I remembered, small and soft. I tried to hide my sigh when she let go.

The guest room had been transformed into an office/workroom. On one side were the computer, printer and a file cabinet. On the other side were a drafting table, rolled up blueprints and more file cabinets.

"I only need your social security number. I remember everything else," Jen said as she booted the computer. "First, you'll need to sign an employment agreement. I'll print that out..." she stopped talking when she saw me looking at the space where the bed had been.

"That was a long time ago, Benny," she said, using the name she called me back when we were juniors in high school and came to this room for the first time, nervous as hell, wanting to take advantage of having the house to ourselves.

"Yes, it was," I agreed, noticing the printer running.

I hurriedly read the employment agreement, signed it, wrote down my social security number and backed toward the hallway, ready to leave the room. Jen looked up from the screen. Our eyes locked.

"'It just happened, ' Benny. We're very happy together," she said, moving her eyes back to the computer screen.

"Yeah, I can see that," I said, practically leaping into the hallway and darting into my room, clutching my chest to try to stem the artesian pump within.

I was glad when Monday morning came. Ed introduced me to his crew, two graduates of the tech school, as Ben. They looked me over, saw that I was wearing jeans, one of Ed's work shirts and a pair of high-top work boots that he had insisted I purchase. It was a fall day but I wouldn't need a jacket, yet.

The job was re-roofing a large home. Ed got us started, removing the old shingles from one of the back sections of the roof, and then left to quote on another job he hoped to get.

The younger member of the crew, Josh was his name, appointed himself my supervisor, calling me the new guy. "New Guy, pick up those shingles around the dumpster. Ed's a neat freak."

I had seen him toss the removed shingles and knew he had intentionally missed the dumpster. I climbed down the ladder and followed his instructions, cleaning up around the dumpster.

"New Guy," Josh said, "Don't let your shingles hit the shrubbery. The owner won't like it if you damage his shrubs."

When Ed returned he could see that I was livid, but he just smiled. That made me remember how he was when we were kids, never interfering, letting me fight my own battles. "Work through it," he would say. This was my initiation back into the workman's fraternity. I tuned Josh out and concentrated on the job. It was Rob, the other member of the crew, who recognized that I knew what I was doing. Everything that I had learned while working summers for my father was coming back to me.

Jen and I gave each other a wide berth. Ed and I left the house early, before she got up and I stayed in my room as much as possible. I didn't trust myself to be near her. Did she harbor the same fears as me?

By the end of the second week my body was becoming accustomed to the hard work and the cold outside air agreed with me. I was feeling better than I had felt in years. We had completed another job and were packing up to leave when Jen dropped by.

"Mrs. Crumbly, do you know Ben?" Josh asked. He had dropped the 'New Guy' moniker.

"Yes, we're acquainted," she answered; glancing at me, realizing that Ed still hadn't told the guys that I was his brother. She had a camera and was snapping pictures of the house and the new windows we had just finished installing. "Huddle up, let me get a picture," she said and Ed, as if it were planned, wrapped his arm around Rob and I did the same with Josh. Jen told us to smile and we complied. I forgot about the pictures she'd taken until a week later.

It was Saturday afternoon, November the fourteenth, four years to the day since their 'it just happened' letters arrived in my mail. Jen and I found ourselves alone in the house for the first time since I had arrived. We surprised each other as neither of us was supposed to be there. I had worked that morning, finishing a job earlier than expected. She had been shopping.

"Where's Ed?" she asked, holding an armful of packages.

I looked at her, waiting to see if she would remember that he had told us the night before about his golf date.

"Oh, golf," she said, embarrassed that she had forgotten.

"Is there anything else in the car?" I asked, hoping to put some space between us. Being near her was just too uncomfortable, never knowing what to say.