Happiness Is A Warm Gun

by Harddaysknight

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Heterosexual, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: When you cuckold a friend, you should be prepared to protect yourself.

What kind of a man would fuck his best friend's wife? I had asked myself that very question a hundred times in the past week. It was still going through my mind as I pulled into Zack's driveway.

I parked and grabbed a duffel bag off the seat. Julia was waiting for me and opened the door before I could ring the bell.

"You're very punctual, Mike," smiled Julia as she ushered me into the house.

"Well, the promise of a piece of your sweet ass is reason enough to be on time," I responded. "I would have been here six days ago if I could have fucked you then!"

Julia had always given the impression that she was a lady, and well above crude speech and behavior. I wondered if I had pushed too hard. I saw a slight frown cross her face. Then it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"I'm sure Zack would have been upset if you had tried it a week ago, Mike. You know we had to wait until he left for his weekend business trip. And until I dropped the kids off at my mother's," she added.

I stepped up to Julia and slid my hand down her blouse and cupped her full breast. It was heavy and firm and the nipple quickly hardened as I tugged on it with my fingers.

"Mike! Would you like a drink or a snack first?" asked Julia as she tried to step back from me.

I kept control of her nipple and she soon changed her mind about backing away. It's funny how much power you have over a woman when you have a firm grasp on a nipple or two.

"Yeah, I'll have a beer, Julia, as soon as I get a few good feels of your big tits. I've waited a long time to feel these babies and I'll enjoy the moment," I laughed.

I thought I saw another frown sweep across her face but she smiled as I groped her tit. "You'd better get used to doing things my way," I thought to myself.

"Well, Mike, you'll have to release my breast before I can get a beer for you. In a little while you can have them both out and available for your pleasure," she promised.

I reluctantly released by grip. I swung her around and gave her ass a quick spank.

"Then hurry up, Girl. There's nothing like a cold beer and a hot pussy to make a man feel alive. Bring a frosty mug with the beer," I ordered.

Did she waver for a second? It was hard to tell, but I thought I saw a brief hesitation. I knew from experience that Julia hated being ordered around.

Julia came back into the room carrying two long stemmed glasses of some kind. She smiled as she handed one to me.

"What the fuck is this? I demanded. "It sure as hell isn't beer, or a frosty mug for that matter."

"No, it's champagne," corrected Julia. "I thought it would be nice to begin our liaison with a toast. You've always wanted me and tonight your dream is happening!"

"Well, I made the toast at your wedding, so I guess I should be the one to make the toast tonight," I asserted.

I raised my glass and held it toward Julia as I considered the situation.

"Here's to cheating slut wives and the men that fuck them," I proclaimed. "To women that don't get enough cock at home and have to look for hard cocks where they can find them. And to guys like me that reap the rewards. And, to all the limp-dicked wimps that marry hot bitches they can't satisfy!"

I thought it was quite appropriate given the circumstances, but as I chugged my drink, Julia winced visibly.

"Mike, you know Zack isn't a wimp! He has always beaten you in every sport you ever played against him. He's a strong, passionate man, not a wimp," she repeated. "I don't like being referred to as a 'hot bitch' either for that matter. Please show some respect."

"Julia, you're the one that will be showing respect when I hammer you with Little Mike," I grinned. "If Zack were able to get the job done, you wouldn't have invited me over tonight. You've heard through the grapevine what a cocksman I am and you have me here to demonstrate. Don't act coy."

"Your rather high opinion of yourself, along with your rather low opinion of Zack, surprises me, quite honestly. You and he are best friends, yet you deride him as a wimp. What sort of friend are you?" questioned Julia.

"The kind that's going to fuck the living shit out of his wife!" I answered. "It may come as a surprise to you, but I won't be his best friend after I cum in all your holes tonight."

"Mike, you have several misconceptions," responded Julia. "Zack is very masculine. He is not a wimp. The two of you will go on being friends since he will not know about our clandestine meetings, and I do not allow Zack to cum in my mouth. I certainly never allow him to enter my rectum!"

"Well that's good to hear!" I laughed. "I can't wait to go where no man has gone before. Imagine getting Zack's wife's ass before he does! That really appeals to me."

"It isn't a question of getting there first," Julia insisted. "No man goes there. You will treat me with respect."

I reached out and pulled her to me. I took her top and pulled it over her head. Julia offered little resistance. I swung her around and unhooked her bra and then turned her back around to face me.

Her tits were incredible! I had to stare as I wondered why gravity had no effect on them. I realized I was looking at perfection! I wanted to just lose my face in the valley formed by her tits as she breathed.

"Those tits certainly command respect, Julia!" I rasped. "When did they begin to sag? Not that they're too bad. I'm just curious."

"You think they're sagging? Zack keeps telling me they're perfect, but you're right. I have noticed that they have dropped a little after Jen was born," confessed Julia. "I knew Zack was just trying to make me feel good!"

As she spoke, Julia moved her arms up to cover as much of her incredible rack as she could. I simply dropped to my knees and tugged her skirt down. I had it around her ankles before she realized my intentions. Julia stood before me a in a tiny red thong. I had never seen a more desirable woman in my life! Slowly, I slid her thong over her ass and down her thighs.

Julia stepped out of the clothes at her feet and looked down at me as I kneeled in front of her.

"What?" she asked. "Do I look okay? Is something wrong?"

"You're good enough to fuck, so don't worry," I told her. "What are these marks across your lower belly? Are they scars?"

"Mike, I've had three kids!" groaned Julia. "A lot of women get bigger stretch marks than those when they are pregnant. They don't show that much, do they?

Julia was agitated as she moved one hand down to cover her lower stomach and held her other arm over her ample bosom.

"Zack said no one would notice them and if they did, they would think that the're sexy. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better about them!"

"They don't look too bad, Julia. I'm just surprised. I thought you had a perfect body," I confessed. "I remember how you always looked in that orange bikini when you and Zack were dating and how much I wanted to get my hands on you. If you had gotten those marks from having my babies, I'd think they were pretty damn sexy, too."

"That was 15 years ago, Mike!" Julia practically whispered. "I'm almost 40 now. People change."

"So I see, Julia. I still want to fuck you, though, so don't worry. Let me dig a few things out of my bag," I told her as I placed my duffel on the chair and opened it.

"Look at these!" I grinned as I pulled out a set of nipple clamps and held them up. "They'll make you scream for mercy when I snap them on those big nipples of yours. I saw a woman pass out once when they were applied, but I'll be gentle."

Julia just shook her head as I turned to pull my next surprise from the bag.

"Look at the size of this dildo, Julia. It'll stretch your ass out while I'm fucking the hell out of your pussy. I guess your cunt won't need to be stretched since you've had three kids," I allowed. "This will help you get prepared for when I take your anal cherry. I have to tell you that I'm pretty excited about that!"

Julia appeared incapable of speech as I removed the items from my bag of tricks. Her mouth was open, but words failed to form.

"It looks like you're ready to suck me off, Julia," I observed. "Why don't you drop down on your knees and pull my cock out. Worship that bad boy for a few minutes and he'll reward you with a mouth full of cum. I haven't jerked off in a few days so I have a good load for you. You'll be doing well to swallow it all without dripping some down your chin. Don't worry if you spill a little," I added. "Some guys get all bent out of shape if their slut spills any of their soldiers, but I won't complain as long as you do your best to swallow all of them."

"I told you I don't swallow for Zack!" exclaimed Julia as she finally found her voice. "I don't even let him cum in my mouth!"

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Consensual / Heterosexual /