Six Times A Day - Cover

Six Times A Day

Copyright© 2004 - 2015 by Spacer X. All rights reserved

Part 40: Lazy Sunday

Harem Incest Sex Story: Part 40: Lazy Sunday - High school senior Alan is diagnosed with a rare condition requiring six orgasms a day. The women in his life - mother, sister, neighbors, cheerleaders, and more - end up swept away by their own lusts while helping him. This epic roller coaster of passion, love, and sex leads to results no one sees coming. The variety of characters, humor, and hot sex will leave you wanting more.

Caution: This Harem Incest Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   mt/ft   Ma/ft   mt/Fa   Fa/Fa   ft/ft   Fa/ft   Mult   Consensual   Reluctant   Romantic   BiSexual   Humor   Incest   Mother   Son   Brother   Sister   Daughter   Group Sex   Harem   Polygamy/Polyamory   Anal Sex   Exhibitionism   First   Lactation   Oral Sex   Sex Toys   Voyeurism   Big Breasts   Doctor/Nurse   Size   Slow   Illustrated   mother helps son relieve his blue balls,mother sucks son,mother fucks son,sister fucks her own brother,sister tricks brother into sex

Day 56: Sunday, November 10

Chapter 1

Alan awoke Sunday morning and immediately decided that all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. The Plummer family didn't always go to church, at least not all of them together, but at dinner the night before Susan had mentioned that she wanted them to go this week.

He hit the snooze button on his alarm clock once, and then did it again.

As he lay half asleep and contemplated snoozing for a third time, Susan came in dressed in her church clothes. "Wake up, sleepyhead," she said in a kind, motherly tone. "I know church isn't as exciting as your video games and movies, but we can't forget the Lord." She sat on the edge of the bed, tenderly brushing his hair from his forehead.

She leaned over and kissed him, even slipping him some tongue.

He liked that a lot. His hands went to her breasts, which he caressed and squeezed, but he was frustrated by all her clothes. He couldn't even figure out how to begin to take them off.

She sat back up, forcing him to let go. "Son, you know you shouldn't do that. "However, she smiled and didn't seem all that upset. Then she announced, "I don't know about you, but I'm getting ready for church."

He was a bit surprised at her new surge of religious activity. There was no doubting her devout faith, but in recent weeks she'd vacillated between wanting urgently to go to church to help atone for her sins, and being too ashamed to go. Overall, he'd felt that shame was winning as their sexual games heated up. He couldn't help but ask, "Mom, but what about, you know, what we're all doing physically? Does that trouble you, you know, religiously?"

Alan thought of himself as agnostic, but wanted to see what she thought of her own beliefs. At the same time, he joked to himself, There must be a god, and a very great god, to have given me such a mother.

She continued to idly brush his hair with her long, sensuous fingers. "Thanks for asking, Tiger. You have a special medical condition, and I think God has to understand that. I've made peace with what I have to do to help you. God must want me to help you in this way. What if you were paralyzed and I had to hold your penis to help you go to the bathroom? Well, it's kind of like that only ... a little more, er, intimate. I have a special role, and I'm just doing His will."

He thought that was the rationalization of the year, but he wisely kept his mouth shut about it. "So you don't feel guilty?"

"Oh, I do. What pains me is when I go beyond just helping you and take pleasure for myself."

He asked, "Why should that be bad?"

"Don't worry. I've talked to Suzanne about this at length and she's helped me see that my feelings are immaterial. It doesn't matter to God if I have my own orgasms or not, so long as you're being helped with your problem. And I have a set of clear boundaries in my mind now. Suzanne helped me see that what we're doing is not incest. Real incest is when we ... well, you know. As long as we don't give in to temptation and go further than we should, we'll be fine."

He was silent. He didn't want to say that Susan had a habit of going further than her professed intent on an almost daily basis. For instance, technically, he wasn't allowed to touch her breasts, but he ended up fondling them extensively almost every day, leaving that rule pretty much in a shambles. Thoughts of the boundaries they'd broken the day before and the things he had done to her by the pool got him hard instantly, which was a bit of a curse at the moment as all he really wanted to do was go back to sleep. She was certainly hindering that.

She clapped her hands. "Come on. Enough chit-chat. Let's get this show on the road. I'm about to make some breakfast."

He rolled over and closed his eyes. "Okay. Just give me ten more minutes. One more snooze button."

She tsk-tsked, but lovingly. "Alan Evan Plummer, you are a hopeless case. Five more minutes. Max." She got up and left.

Five minutes later, he still wasn't up.

Katherine barged right in. "Hey, Big Pussy Pleasing Brother. I've been sent as a messenger from the big-boobed one. She says no more lollygagging. Breakfast is almost ready."

Katherine standing in lace-up heels, short shorts and a very revealing tank top with a heart-shaped cutout over her cleavage, with shoulders back to emphasize her breasts

He rolled over and opened his eyes. He saw Katherine standing there in hot pants - tight, dark blue, short leather shorts - and an equally tight, white tank-top that had a giant heart-shaped hole to expose her cleavage and matching white high heels. He had just gotten his dick to deflate after Susan had left his room, so he groaned when he felt it elongate once again at the sight of his sexy sister. "Dang, Sis, you're not planning on going to church like that, are you?"

She guffawed. "No, silly. But wouldn't it be fun to see the face on the minister if I did! Ha! ... No, these are my 'get Big Wine Bottle Brother out of bed' clothes."

"You really love those Big Brother names, don't you? ... Um, Little Moist Holed Sister?" He sat up to better appreciate the view, even though it literally pained him to do so.

Yesterday's extensive festivities, while enjoyable, had taken their toll on his body. He still couldn't believe he'd climaxed ten times in a single day. He wasn't in agony or particularly sore, but he wasn't exactly prepared to start a sex-filled day quite yet. He wanted to at least get his bearings first.

She smiled. "That's better, Big Heat-seeking Missile Brother. Mom said that I should use, quote, 'any means necessary, ' unquote, to get you out of bed. And the only excuse for any delay is if I have to give you a gob-smackingly yummy handjob. That's literally what she said, minus a couple of adjectives."

"What did she really say, exactly?" he asked, growing aroused at the thought of his mother sending his sister to stimulate him sexually.

"Let's see. She looked at me sternly and told me what a 'terribly cum-filled boy' you are and that it was 'imperative my Tiger gets his satisfaction.' But she said I wasn't allowed to use my mouth on you 'cos of my punishment. And she said that even if I do lend you a hand, so to speak, I should hurry it up, because you have only thirty minutes to shower, dress, and eat breakfast."

Katherine wasted no time. Even as she said this, she moved to his bed and threw back his covers. Her hand went to his erect dick as soon as it was exposed. She squealed with glee and thrust out her chest to make her cleavage even more obvious. She muttered, "Hard as steel already. I should have known."

He groaned, partly in delight, partly in frustration. The fact was, he felt strange. The events of the previous day seemed bizarre in the light of the new morning. He thought, I know I say or think it ALL the time, but this is too surreal! Mom comes in my room all pious and dressed for church, and then she sends in Sis like this, basically ordering her to give me a handjob? It's contradictory. Completely bizarre. I kind of don't even feel like having another orgasm right now. I mean, I had ten yesterday. Ten! And everywhere I look I see some hottie naked or taking their clothes off. My mind is in sexual overload.

Even as he thought this, Katherine took her tank-top off while giving him a smoldering, seductive smile.

He laughed inwardly at that coincidence. I just want to have a normal day today. Heck, even going to church doesn't sound so bad, for once. I should really ask Sis to stop and just get up on my own...

But he grew transfixed by the sight of his sister's firm tits as they shook in time to her strokes, and the sensation in his loins felt too good to bring to an end. He amused himself thinking, Maybe being in mental sexual overload isn't such a bad thing after all.

Given that, for once, her mouth wasn't filled with his erection while near him, she was free to whisper sexy things to him. She took full advantage. "Brother, I was soooo lonely last night, lying naked in my bed. When are you gonna sneak across the hall for a nice midnight sister boning?"

He joked, "I suppose I'll have to do it at midnight, if it's a midnight boning."

She punched his arm lightly. "You know what I mean!" She kept right on teasing him.

He found that he loved her sexy talk, just as he always did. He decided that he should try harder to give as good as he got, and attempted to whisper sexy things back to her.

She talked, as she usually did in these circumstances, about how desperate she was to have him fuck her. She respected her mother's wish not to give him a blowjob, but she leaned in close and blew air on his sensitive cockhead from time to time.

After hearing her say things like, "Your fuck toy hopes that today will be the day you take your big strong hands and teach my naughty ass how to behave," his desire to go back to sleep vanished completely.

Soon he was saying to her, "Watch out, Little Bubble Butt Sis. It's a good thing I can't see your sweet ass right now, or a spanking might not be good enough for you. I just might have to spread your cheeks with my hands and do you doggy-style from the rear. I'd get one of those butt dildos and fill up both your holes, and then shove my hand in your mouth so you're filled up in every way. How would you like that?"

"Oh yeah, Big Tree Trunk Brother! Now you're talking! Let's do it right now!" She started to pull her shorts all the way off.

He had to stop her with his hand. "Just the handjob, Sis. Remember the no-fucking-at-home rule? Let's at least make some tiny concession to obeying Mom at least some of the time and not get majorly busted, okay? Remember how mad she was at you yesterday? I was just trying to get you hot with some talk. Geez!"

She giggled. "Sorry. You don't have to try to get me hot. Just holding this sister-fucking baby maker in my hands gets me so hot that my shirt would get ironed right on my back if I was wearing one! Luckily I never do around you, at least not for long. Keep going and fuck me with your words. And by the way, do you think if I breathe on this big sister-splitter, that would cross the line into a blowjob? Let's find out!" She giggled even more.

"You're already doing that," he pointed out.

"Oh, am I? I didn't notice." She giggled at that too.

A naked Katherine on her knees, blowing on the head of Alan's dick while stroking him

So he continued to talk dirty to her, as she kept on blowing on the head of his dick while steadily jacking him off. But in a concession to time, he didn't exercise his PC muscle to prolong the experience. As a result, the handjob ended nearly as fast as it would have for most guys his age.

Technically, Katherine wasn't allowed to give him a blowjob, but her blowing slowly morphed into soft, gentle licks. She finished the handjob with his dick in her mouth under the excuse that she didn't want to make a mess.

He ended up blasting a load into the back of her throat.

Then she spent another minute or two thoroughly "cleaning" his extremely sensitive dick and balls.

He felt bad that they had once again violated his mother's orders, but under the circumstances he wasn't in a position to say "stop," because her licking and sucking just felt too great.

When it was done, he kissed her on the cheek and thanked her politely, which caused her to modestly blush a bit. Somehow, that led to him playing with her tits for a minute or two, since her shirt was already off.

She whispered to him, "That made me really hot and horny, but for once I didn't cum. You were too fast! Make me cum. I have a steaming hot pussy. It's ready for you. Just slide right in, Big Torpedo Bro. It has your name on it. Any time you like. You own my hole, my fuck hole! You're the only one I'll ever allow in there. I really mean that - you're the only one! You can fuck whomever you want, but this fuck toy's fuck hole belongs just to you! Make me cum, my nasty, naughty brother. Just from your hands on my tits. Yes!"

She slid her hot pants down her legs just seconds before she froze, clenched tight, and let loose with a joyous, loud orgasm. Apparently just the fantasy that she was about to get fucked had pushed her over the edge.

That was a good ending for Alan too. He was amused. Talk about hype! I don't even need to do anything anymore. Just the idea that I could gets her hot to trot! He took his hands away as he realized it was getting later and later for breakfast, close to when they needed to leave for church.

Katherine commented as she pulled herself back together, "To think. All these years of Mom saying to me, 'Go get your brother and tell him he's going to be late for church.' And it was such a bother. It was certainly a lot more fun today! Now, I just love any excuse to come in here. Or should I say cum in here. They're nearly one and the same! This room is starting to smell good, just like your cum. Don't change it. We need to fuck repeatedly in every room of the house so there's no escape from this smell anywhere."

He joked, "I don't know. That sounds like a lot of work. What's in it for me?"

She punched him lightly on the shoulder as she prepared to leave.

Downstairs, as they all quickly ate salad rolls and croissants, Susan asked, "Tiger, did your sister use any special methods to wake you up?"

"Yes she did."

Looking sternly at Katherine, she asked, "Did she keep her promise not to use her mouth?"

"Well, yeah, for the most part. She was careful to only use her hands until I told her I was about to cum. Then she swallowed the head and bobbed on it while I blew a load into the back of her throat."

Katherine defended herself. "Mom, I only did that because I didn't want to make a mess. I mean, we're about to go to church. You wouldn't want me to go with my face all spermy, right?"

Susan conceded, "No, I suppose not. I guess that was acceptable. And then?"

Alan explained, "She kept on bobbing until I was completely flaccid. Then she spent a couple more minutes licking my balls and dick completely clean. Mostly my balls, actually. It felt good."

Katherine again defended herself. "Mom, you can't object to that! You were the one who told me recently that his powerful cock demands respect, and that we all should show our respect and love by thanking it with a proper cleaning after each and every climax."

Susan clutched her chest, which she tended to do when she started to get horny. "I did say that, didn't I? And it's true; it does demand respect! For a powerful cock like that, it's essential that you show your gratitude at being allowed to pleasure it. So I can't get upset at you for that either."

Katherine beamed.

"HOWEVER! And listen carefully. Don't take advantage of my generous nature. Don't spend a long time cleaning it only to have that turn into a full-on blowjob, if his member gets hard again before too long, which it often does. That's a big no-no!"

"Don't worry, Mom. I'll be good."

Alan thought the entire thing was beyond surreal, especially since, by this time, they were all dressed in their church clothes. But he figured that was how his new life was going to be, so he had better get used to it.


Chapter 2

Suzanne came waltzing in the front door just as Susan, Alan, and Katherine were getting ready to head to church. She met the others just as they were about to get in Susan's minivan. "Whoa. Looks like I'm just in time. Sweetie, are you going to church?"

"Yeah." His voice was listless, since he couldn't hide his disappointment.

"Well, now you're not. There's been a change of plans."

Susan stepped forward, dressed in her Sunday best. "Hold on. What's more important than the Lord?" She looked disapprovingly at Suzanne, who was wearing regular clothes instead of church clothes.

"I wouldn't say it's more important than the Lord, but some things are time sensitive. I've just been talking on the phone with Brenda, and she's coming over right now, to talk to Sweetie and me."

Susan's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What about?"

Suzanne put an arm around Susan and walked her away from the others to speak confidentially. "Susan, let me remind you that this Brenda thing is all your doing. You're the one who carelessly revealed our secrets to her. Now we're in damage control mode. To be honest, I don't know what she wants to talk about exactly, but whatever it is, I'm going to use it as an excuse to bind her closer to us, and especially to Sweetie. The more she falls for him, the better we can rest easy that she won't spill your secrets."

Susan realized that she couldn't really oppose that, given her own culpability. But she pouted, "I don't like it. Especially during the one time of the week dedicated to our Savior."

"I know. But you can't always have everything you like. This is just a matter of having to roll with the punches. Remember, we know that handjobs and blowjobs aren't real incest, but there are a lot of people out there who wouldn't understand what you are doing."

Susan grumbled. "I know, but I still don't like it! Somehow, I get the feeling she's gonna end up playing with his penis. Promise me you won't let her touch it!"

Suzanne was surprised by that, until she remembered Susan's lingering jealousy issues over Brenda's breast size. But she decided she could actually work that restriction to her advantage: she could get Brenda even more obsessed about Alan by denying her access temporarily to what she wanted most. So she said, "Okay. If you insist. But I can't make the same promise. After all, we don't want him to suffer."

Susan frowned, grumbling some more. "If you must, I suppose." In truth, she hated to miss out on the fun if her son's penis was involved, so she was half-tempted to cancel her church plans. Then she paused and reconsidered. She added shyly, "That said, maybe you could, you know ... I'm not keen on her touching it just yet, but maybe she could at least see it, in all its fully erect glory. And ... and ... let her have a couple of nice orgasms too."

"Oh?" Suzanne raised a curious eyebrow. "Sure, I can do that. But what's the reason for your change of heart?"

"I was just thinking about my discussion with her last night. She called me and sounded rather anxious and needy, like she was having big doubts about giving in to her sexual desires and helping Tiger in a big way. My heart really goes out to her, despite the issues I have with her. She's in a tough position. As she put it, she feels like she's jumping off a cliff into the great unknown, and that's very scary. Besides, we can't have her back out now, given what she knows about us. So it wouldn't be so bad for her to have a little fun, kind of a taste of how good it can be playing with Alan's big member."

Suzanne said, "So shall it be, then. That's very kind of you. You continually inspire me with your big, loving heart. So, just to review, no penis-touching allowed by her today, but if it so happens that she can see his stiff erection and even have a couple of nice orgasms, then so much the better."

"Exactly."

The two of them talked some more, and then Susan and Katherine left for church.

Suzanne French-kissing Alan in the house

Suzanne immediately took Alan's hand and walked with him to the living room. She sat down with him in the love seat and began hungrily French kissing him, using lots of tongue.

She snickered with amusement when his hands went straight to her breasts. But she used her hands to stop him from removing her top. She also foiled his attempts to touch her pussy, and avoided his crotch. Clearly, she didn't want things to get too heated, so when he realized that he took it easy, despite the fact that she'd given him a raging boner.

After a couple minutes of necking, she pulled away.

He said, "Nice! But what was that all about?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to kiss you. You don't know what you do to me, do you?"

He shook his head.

"That's a shame. Anyway, here's the plan. I would have kissed you a lot longer, and done much more, except that Brenda is literally on her way here right now, so we don't have time. She visited me a few days ago, and I got her to hang out in my hot tub with us wearing bikinis, so we're gonna do that again."

"I wish I could've been a fly on the wall for that. What about Brad and Eric?"

"They're off doing some stupid male bonding thing. I think they're gonna watch cars race around in circles for hours and hours somewhere in L.A. If you ask me, that makes watching golf exciting by comparison. But the important thing is that they'll be gone for hours."

"And Amy?"

She grunted impatiently. "I talked her into going to church with your family. I'm sure she met them as they were pulling out of the garage. Now, let me explain what you should do. Brenda thinks she's just meeting me here, because you supposedly went to church. Give me at least ten minutes with her in the hot tub. Wait until I manage to get her bikini off and get her properly prepped."

"Whoa! What?!"

"Don't act all surprised! You're going to be much more than a fly on the wall today, you lucky dog."

"Are you serious?!"

"Of course. This is what your life's about now: Sex!"

"Is that all?"

"Definitely not. Much more of anyone's day is spent not having sex than having it, even for you. Other things are more important, especially love. But still, you'll be having way more sex than most, so you should learn to go with it." She stopped to ask, "You don't feel overwhelmed with too much sex, do you?"

"No way! Bring it on!"

"Good. Sex and love are closely entwined, and in my opinion one can't get too much of either. Anyway, please spy on us. Once you feel the time is right, 'accidentally' discover us there. Your story should be that you skipped church and you've come looking for me. Then we'll play it by ear. I've noticed you've gotten good at that, so keep it up, big guy." She reached down to his shorts and squeezed his dick, which not surprisingly was still erect from their make-out session as well as from her talk about Brenda.

Then she released it just as quickly. "Oh, and your mom made me promise that Brenda wouldn't be allowed to have fun with your cock just yet, so let's respect that too. That's fine, since the plan is for you to keep playing relatively hard to get until her resistance crumbles completely. When your mom gets home from church, I'm sure she's going to make a bee-line straight to us to see what's happening. That's fine. She all but told us she'd do that before she left. Let's play that by ear too. With any luck, we can have her join in." She raised an eyebrow suggestively. "How would you like to have me, your mom, and Brenda spend the afternoon playing 'Bobbing for Cock'?"

"Oh, man! You know I'd love it! But ... that's it? That's the plan? That's not much of a plan. You might as well say 'play the whole thing by ear.'"

She grinned. "I know. But I like improvising, and I think you do too. It's more fun that way. I know you don't want me to scheme about your conquests, but what can I say? I'm incorrigible." She winked.

"I'll forgive you this one time." He winked back.

She smiled widely at that. "We all know that Brenda is bound to play a big role in our lives from now on, if only because she knows our secrets. So, along with having some sexy fun, it wouldn't hurt to try to get to know more about her, as well as telling her more about yourself. This is a woman you're almost certainly going to be fucking for many years to come. I think it's a given that she'll be one of your personal cocksuckers before long, and probably more after that." She faked a cough and muttered "Sex pet!" as she was coughing. "Given that, wouldn't it be better if you could get to really know her, and maybe even someday love her?"

"Oh, man!" His dick was already hard, but now it seemed to get even stiffer. Brenda, my totally adoring, dedicated, loving, super-stacked sex pet! That could happen. With Aunt Suzy working on it, it's probably almost a done deal! He leaned forward to revel in Suzanne's arousing ideas. He tried to kiss her some more but she just pushed him back.

She'd been loosely embracing him, but when he leaned toward her she disengaged completely and stood up. Then another thought hit her. "Oh! Important! Never forget her submissive tendencies! Although I know you may not feel in your heart that you're an alpha male, you need to act that way around her. You should act somewhat aloof but at the same time totally in charge. Order her around as much as you can get away with, and do NOT take 'No' for an answer!"

"But what if she really means 'No'?"

"She won't, trust me, not with you. She's totally fallen for you already. The more you play hard to get, like you're mainly interested in me and only somewhat in her, the deeper she'll fall for you. Remember, we need that, to keep the family safe."

"Do you really think I could wind up fucking her for years and years?"

"Probably. Let's just say the odds are leaning that way right now, but it's not a done deal, at least not yet."

"I ... see..." he said, not entirely convinced.

Suzanne hastened to reassure him, "I keep saying 'sex pet' because I think that's HER ultimate end-goal fantasy. It doesn't need to be yours or mine. So why not make it real for her and for you?" And the rest of us while you're at it, she thought eagerly.

"Are you sure?"

"As sure as I can be at this stage. All the Magic 8 Balls are saying 'yes', if you want to know."

"Huh. So ... then... ?" he looked at her expectantly.

"Right, it all depends on how you play your cards, starting today. Be confident and dominant! Actually, the things I've told you to do with Heather, you should do those too, but without the mean, insulting edge that gets Heather off in her very unusual way. Cocky and aloof is good. Similar to Heather, at least a bit, nothing bores Brenda more than guys who chase after her and attempt to ingratiate themselves with her. Remember that everyone wants what they can't have, not what they're offered on a silver platter. At the same time, just relax and don't worry too much. Enjoy yourself! If anything, you'll probably have trouble keeping her away from your cock, just so long as you keep doing the thing you do."

"Which is?"

She grinned slyly. "I don't know, but just keep doing it." She winked. "Now, I've really gotta go. She might have arrived already. She thinks our time is limited to when you and Susan are in church, so she wants to maximize that."

He nodded. As Suzanne walked off, he thought, And to think I figured I'd have an hour or two of boring normality this Sunday morning. I was almost looking forward to going to church, just for a break from these non-stop wild adventures. But I have to admit, this is something I don't want to miss out on!


Chapter 3

Suzanne hadn't really expected that her prediction about Brenda arriving early would be true, but Brenda was already ringing her doorbell when she got back to her house (via the backyard gate so she wouldn't be seen). Upon hearing the bell, Suzanne hurried through her house and opened her front door. "Oh, hello, Brenda. Nice to see you again. Come on in."

"Thanks." Brenda stepped into Suzanne's house, letting Suzanne close the door behind her. Her heart was racing already, just from being there.

"Come in all the way; don't be shy. We're going to the backyard. It's a nice day, so let's not waste our time inside this stuffy house." Suzanne walked Brenda through the house to her backyard.

Brenda was wearing a T-shirt and a beach wrap, but that was just so she could be seen in public without causing a riot if she had car problems or something like that. Underneath, she wore a daringly skimpy bikini. Suzanne by contrast was wearing generic "around the house" clothes, because she hadn't wanted to alarm Susan by showing up in something sexy when asking that Alan stay behind.

When they reached the pool area, Suzanne stopped and said, "Okay. I'm dying to see your sexy bikini, so strip!"

Brenda felt somewhat abashed, because Suzanne just stood there expectantly a few feet from the pool without making any effort to change her own clothes. But Brenda dutifully took off her T-shirt and wrap. Her confidence grew as she did so, because she knew she had a smoking hot body. When she was done, she even preened and posed a little.

"Very nice!" Suzanne said airily. "Now, take that off too, and meanwhile I'll go get us some drinks and suntan lotion."

Brenda's confidence crumbled in an instant. "What?! Suzanne!"

Suzanne's eyes narrowed, showing she brooked no dissent. "Remember what happened the last time you were here? We both ended up naked, and for good reason. I've discovered that it's much more difficult for a person to lie when they're not wearing any clothes. So get crackin'. But don't feel embarrassed, because I'll be naked too."

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