Chapter 5

Tess and I eventually dropped the subject of Sex with Kim. It was, after all, the wee hours of the morning on Day Three of the Qualifying Tournament. It was cut day. The chances of Tess missing the cut were slim and none. She was, in fact, in a great position to actually take away prize money from this tournament.

To my surprise, it turned out that cash was awarded to the top finishers in Q-School. I thought getting the LPGA card would be prize enough (and I'm sure the competitors felt the same way), but in fact small cash awards were available for the first fifteen or so finishers, plus ties. If Tess could maintain her current spot in third place, she would likely earn four or five thousand dollars -- along with her tour card.

Maybe that was small money, even by last summer's Futures Tour standards, but, hey, you know? Sharp sticks? Eyes?

Today's goal: A decent score that would assure a place in the final round, and maintenance of Tess' current high position among the competitors.

The tour card was close, and, thus far at least, all was well.

While we were at breakfast with Kim that morning, I was fearful that some of the tension of my pre-dawn discussion with Tess might still be floating around in the air. It wasn't. Kim had managed to survive the trauma of seeing my bare dick hanging out, and if Tess was thinking about anything other than Round Three of the tournament, it wasn't evident. Everybody seemed to be at ease.

Tess shot a nice, solid 70, taking her to nine-under for the tournament and into second place, overall.

One day to go, false fears of missing the cut out of the way forever, and it seemed to me that Tess could play left-handed tomorrow on the tournament's final day and still get her tour card.

We went out that night, for more restaurant seafood. Hey, it wasn't Lean Cuisine Sesame Chicken, but it wasn't bad.

"I'm going to make it," Tess said. She wasn't the superstitious type, and she didn't have a shred of false modesty. "I don't care about finishing first, or getting any money. But I want that card, and exempt status. And it's practically in the bag! All I gotta do is show up and shoot two or three over par, and I got it!"

Hearing this kind of talk from Tess scandalized Kim a little, but she tried to hide it. "Just play the round, Tess," she said. "Don't get hyper. Don't go crazy. Just play the round. And don't play it safe, either! If you aim at three over, you're liable to come in six over."

"Even if I did," Tess said, I've got such a nice cushion, I would be OK."

"Just don't go crazy," Kim said again. "Play like you need to finish two under, but don't go all conservative. That wouldn't be your game."

"You're absolutely right!" Tess said. "Hey, when this is over tomorrow, you guys want to go down to Disney World?"

"Not me," I told them. "If you two want to go to Disney World, take the RV and I'll just find me a cheap motel on the beach here, and wait for you to come back by, on your way home."

"I want to see everything in this country!" Kim said, "but not Disney World. I'll go with you, Tess, if you want, but it's not my idea of fun, either. Besides, I've already been to Disneyland, in Anaheim."

"You guys are party poopers," Tess said. "OK -- no Disney this trip. "But I saw an alligator farm north of here, advertised on a highway sign. At least we gotta stop and see the alligators!"

Tess shot a 69 on the final day, finishing in a tie for first place overall, and earning $5400.

More importantly, she was now a full-fledged member of the Ladies Professional Golf Association Tour.

With Tess' game, that was like having a license to steal.

We left Daytona Beach the next day for Chapel Hill, and made the run in a single day of driving. We got in late, so we didn't even unload the RV or unhitch the car from the back. We just piled into the Henderson Household (already alerted, via cell phone, of our pending arrival) and gratefully fell into our respective beds.

All three of the beds were in separate rooms. If anybody got laid that night, it would have to have been Tess' parents.

It was still two and a half months before the first tour event in Hawaii. It was far too much time, really. Both of my charges were antsy as hell already. They'd have liked to start the LPGA tour tomorrow morning. Early.

We were on our way.

The morning after our late-hour arrival in Chapel Hill, we all met over a bountiful breakfast at Henderson Manor. (The Henderson family members don't really call their house 'Henderson Manor." That's just me, talking. I guess I'd seen too many Batman movies at an impressionable age.) The homecoming reception we were receiving -- myself included -- was far warmer than the first time I had visited this house. Tess' father (and, to a lesser extent, her brother, Roy, Jr.) had been suspicious of me on that occasion. He had been a little put out about the fact that I was the one to whom Tess was -- well -- putting out.

But that was all water under the bridge by now, and everyone was extremely pleased that Tess had gotten her tour card about as rapidly as anyone, anywhere, could have expected. The prospect of the coming year, traveling from place to place for far-flung LPGA events, was intoxicating to us all.

Kim and Tess, especially, were almost overcome with anticipation. It's too bad the first event was so far in the future. They were ready to go -- right now! Today!

"Roy's coming over tonight," Roy, Sr. said while we were having after-breakfast coffee. He meant Roy, Jr., of course. "Soon as he heard you were bringing Kim along, his ears perked up!"

I figured Junior's ears weren't the only body part that had perked up. If Roy, Sr. had expressed misgivings about his daughter's sleeping with her caddy, he seemed to have no similar problems with Roy, Jr. starting something with Kim Young Sun.

I figured that a father's attitude toward his male heir's getting his ashes hauled was somewhat more sanguine.Girls were different.

Or maybe it was the fact that Kim had a better-looking future, from an earnings standpoint, than I did.

There had been a definite spark, during Kim's last visit to Chapel Hill, between her and Tess' big brother, Roy. It was clear that they hadn't done anything about it just yet, but I figured with most of December in front of us, Kim would surely lose her North Carolina cherry before Christmas.

However, Roy, Junior's presence surely would complicate Tess' own plans for Sex with Kim.

I'd have to talk to Tess about that. Did she really want me in the sack with her own brother's newfound girlfriend? I figured the answer to my question might depend, at least in part, on just how serious the Roy-and-Kim thing started to become.

I, for one, wasn't interested in beating Junior's time. Not if he was sincerely interested in Kim. And he certainly had seemed to be, last time we'd all been together.

My personal plan was to spend a few days back home in Raleigh with my own family, after which I'd come back and accommodate to Tess and Kim's practice schedule. "It'll depend a lot on the weather," Tess said. "If we have a mild December, we can practice right here. If we have a stretch of really bad weather, Kim and I will want to head somewhere out-of-state, where we can play comfortably just about every day.

Chapel Hill in December is unpredictable, although perhaps educated guesses might be made, a few days in advance, about whether playing golf in the immediate future would be feasible. I knew that if Tess saw true winter weather coming, we'd be out of there -- fast. No way either of these women was going to sit still for more than four days at a stretch without hitting a golf course.

We played every day -- 18 holes, sometimes 27, sometimes 36 -- at Tess' home course, until December 11. The weather wasn't just adequate during that period -- it was superb. Sometimes, early December in 'Carolina is just an extension of our gorgeous October weather.

But it couldn't last, and it didn't. December 12 was blustery, and the 13^th was far worse -- windy, and very cold indeed.

"We want to go to Tucson," Tess told me.

"Tucson?... Arizona?... In the RV?" I had assumed that if weather drove us out of Chapel Hill, we'd drive back down to Florida. But Tucson? "Jeez, Tess, that's gotta be -- what? Two thousand miles?"

"Oh, of course not," Tess said sarcastically. "... I'm talking about Tucson, West Virginia. Will, your estimate is pretty close, actually. We won't take the RV. Let's fly out. We'll waste less time, and we can fly back here for the Holidays."

"Why Arizona?" I asked.

"The weather is dependable. The mountains will give us a taste of what we'll see in Hawaii for the two tournaments out there. We could go to southern California, but I have friends in Tucson we can stay with. It'll be way better than just some hotel."