Chapter 4

The next day at work, they tried unsuccessfully to maintain a professional manner between them but time after time they would catch themselves grinning at each other. Of course everyone else in the office saw the same thing and they were each and every one of them glad.

Mary was sitting alone in the Den with the lights down low. The TV was on but basically just for background noise. She has just finished the weekly obligatory phone call with Mike. It had now been three months since he had gone to Hawaii and he hadn't been back even one time for a weekend visit. Based on the just completed phone call, she got the distinct impression that except for the kids, he didn't really give a shit about ever coming back. He had talked with the kids each week, but they were so wrapped up in their friends and activities that they really hadn't missed their dad much except when they wanted something from him. As long as they could get it from their mom, they didn't miss him much at all. They were good kids but as all children at that age seem to be, they were very self-centered and quite selfish. But then they seem to come by that honestly since their mother frequently displayed those same characteristics towards their dad. Mary was a good mom for the most part. The children were well fed, clothed and she gave them reasonable amounts of parental supervision. Unfortunately, she seemed often distracted as well. Mary's problem was quite simple really. She couldn't seem to make up her mind about Sean or Mike. Those same questions that had bothered her when Mike had first left for Hawaii still plagued her on a frequent basis.

"Do I still love Mike?

Does Mike still love me?

Has Mike had an affair or any flings?

Do I love Sean?

Does Sean really love me?

Is what Sean and I have just GREAT sex?

What happened to the GREAT sex Mike and I used to have?

When did Mike and I drift apart?

When he comes home, what will happen?"

The one question that seemed to bother her most was

"Has Mike had sex with another woman since their marriage?"

Well some of the questions had some answers such as:

"Yes, I still love Mike and since he has been gone, I miss him more every day.

I'm beginning to think that Mike doesn't love me anymore since his phone calls seem to be so impersonal and even cold. Additionally, since he has made no effort to come home for even a short visit, despite me and the children asking time and again, seems to be a strong indicator as well. Also with the frequency of bitch, Kelli's name that comes up in our very short conversations, I have come to think very strongly that he's fucking her at very regular intervals. Remember, It's OK for me have my Sean but if he's fucking around on me then he's really, really dead meat and I really, really mean that. Its makes me practically insane just to think about it.

I have come to the conclusion that what Sean and I have is simply very, very good sex. However, other than that, with all the time I have been able to spend with him since Mike left, I have found him to be basically a very simple minded man. Other than the sex, we seem to have absolutely nothing in common. Let's face, he's flat assed boring.

I have also come to the realization that I know when and also why Mike and I have drifted apart. I have been so stupid and callous to my own husband. My affair with Sean is the sole reason for the fact that my marriage is on the rocks. Actually, I am the sole reason that my marriage is on the rocks. I can look back and see that I shut him out. I have given to another man that which I promised under oath to God to give only and forever to my husband. I look in the mirror and wonder just who in the hell is that woman that I'm putting make-up on each morning. I don't even recognize my own face and I don't like what I see. Actually, I hate what I see.

If and when my husband comes back home, I am going to do my very best to make it up to him. I'm going to show him that I'm the best thing that every happened to him. I'm going to love him and make love to him as often as he'll let me. The only question is when is he coming home and how and when do I get rid of Sean. I'm so lonely without Mike. Sean is the only thing that I have to turn to when the nights are so long. I'm really starting to hate what we are doing but I haven't been able to stop. Soon, very soon! Maybe!

Somehow, I'm going to have to figure out what to do about Kelli Bitch. I don't know how, since they are so far away. Maybe I can find some cheap airfare and surprise Mike on a long weekend. I'm really going to have to work on that since I AM NOT GIVING UP!

Mary was absolutely amazed and quite surprised at how lonely she had become since Mike's departure. The kids were so busy with their own lives and Sean had turned out to be good for really just one thing, fucking.

"I think about that the wonderful talks that Mike and I used to have pre-Sean are what I miss the most. We were so close and he was so attentive and loving to me. We talked and cuddled. We laughed and loved. What have I done? Mike was my soul mate, my one true love. We are supposed to grow old together. The way things are going, the only thing we may be doing together is going to court for our divorce." A pain so sharp and deep tore through Mary's heart. "Divorce? We can't get a divorce. We love each other. Nothing is so bad that we can't get past it?"

With a sinking heart, Mary was forced to admit to herself that what she had done to Mike was the one thing that, if Mike found out, they couldn't get past it. She was suddenly forced to recognize that what she had done and was still doing was the nail that shut forever the coffin lid on her marriage. That was the wake-up call that got her attention. "Sean must go now and Mike must never know!" It never dawned on her that it was most likely to little and way to late. She slowly rose to her feet and took herself off to bed. More amazement came to her when she realized that there were tears coursing down her cheeks. She felt so sad and heartbroken that she had trouble taking a full breath. The next night, after Mary and Sean had finished fucking, they lay side by side breathing heavily. It had been a real marathon fucking session. Mary had decided that she was going to give Sean one final farewell fuck and she wanted to make sure that they got their money's worth. It had taken some professional cock sucking to get Sean's dick hard one last time for their fourth time but she had really put her mouth to the task. Sean didn't think that he would be able to get hard again for a least a few days. "Christ, Mary where did that come from?"

"Well, ole buddy, I mean, fuck-buddy, that was our final hurrah. The last coming, so to speak." Mary laughed a little bitterly with that pun. "We are done and this is finally it. This affair is over and done with and I don't every want to see or speak with you again."

Sean casually lifted himself on his elbow and looked Mary straight in the eye.

"I have watched you thinking about this for the last few weeks. That's really what I figured tonight was all about and so I'm not surprised. I am also really relieved. I had thought this thing with you and I would have been over months ago. Frankly, I was getting a little tired of you and I'm sure that you feel the same. I mean it was starting to get a little stale on the mattress. I guess now that you've had your fun, you are going to run back to hubby and make like things are A-OK and then your are going to try to pretend to yourself and Mike that this never happened. Right? You know, Mary, I really like you. You're fun and a great lay in the sack. However, you are more stupid than I could ever believe if you think that Mike doesn't know about us. Come-on girl, since he left for Hawaii, he hasn't had more than two minutes for you and from what you say, those minutes have been pretty damn cool. I'm curious as to how you are going to try and convince him otherwise."

Mary's face turned hateful as she spat "Get out, Sean and get out right now. Go and oh, don't forget. Don't ever come back!"

Without a word, Sean got up from the bed, got dressed, and with one last look at Mary, walked out the door forever without a single word. Mary sat there, naked on the soiled and rumpled sheets for a moment and then she began to cry with deep, heart wrenching sobs and she realized that Sean was probably right on the state of her marriage with Mike. She cried and cried and it took most of the night before she was able to calm down enough to function on a limited basis. The children couldn't help but notice their mom's reserved behavior for days following Sean's departure. They also noticed Sean's continued absence and were glad that he was gone. Parents just don't understand that their children are not blind, deaf and dumb.

Mike and Kelli were lying on the bed, cuddling following some slow loving sex.

"Sean's gone. Mary told me today that he has moved away. I didn't really have anything to say about it. She seemed surprised that I had no comment. It really seemed strange since I'm not sure that I really care."

Kelli looked at Mike with sorrowful eyes. "You know that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard you say. The one thing that I am more certain of is that you still love Mary." Surprise was evident on Mike face as she continued, "I have tried everything I can think of and I have never been able to convince myself that you love me. I know that you care for me. I know that you care a lot. You are so kind, so gentle and so loving but when you look at me all I see is fondness. I don't see any real love."

"Kelly, I do love you. In fact I was planning on asking you to marry me just as soon as I can get a divorce. I don't love Mary anymore and I can't forgive her for what she had done to our marriage."

Kelli took Mike's face in her hands and softly said "what have we been doing for the last months? Mike, you'll be leaving to go home soon. You'll be going home to your wife and your children. I can't do anything about that. I do want you to know that I will never forget our time together, but it's over. I know it and if you'll think about it, you know it also. Mike, this is our last night together. Tomorrow I'm submitting my resignation, effective immediately. I have taken a job in Seattle and I would love for you to take me to the airport in the afternoon."