Chapter 80

All our attempts to produce a usable erection allowing me to have going away sex with Brenda had failed. I'd get some slight rise from her efforts to excite me, but nothing near firm enough to do her any good. I don't believe Brenda had even considered the possibility that any man or boy could be around her for very long and not spring a "woody". I can guarantee you that it had never happened to me before.

When she started crying again, this time in frustration over what she considered her personal failure, I made her stop all her attempts at trying to raise the dead. I managed to coax her back up so that I could hold her in my arms. We started talking together. Brenda told me that she had announced her decision to remain with Emily, in front of all the other wives, but it had simply been an impulsive decision on her part, one meant to bolster the flagging spirits of Emily. Brenda told me again that she didn't want Emily to be left all alone, but then she reaffirmed her earlier decision to come live with me and resume being my wife again.

"Brenda, you can't keep changing back and forth, depending on who you are with at the time. I'm not going to let you come back again if you decide to leave me and go back with Emily. I'm not Emily, I'd never go to where you are living just to try to get you to come back to me."

"I know you wouldn't. I wouldn't expect you to. I know what I need to be doing, what I want to be doing. It's just hard because I also know how Emily is going to be feeling when I tell her I've decided I need to be with you. Kenny, if there's any way you can do it, please reconsider about letting Emily come back to live with all of us. She needs to be here more than all the rest of us do."

"She doesn't need to be here. In fact, I doubt that she even wants to be here. What she wants is to be with you. Maybe, if she had a chance to make her ideal choice, she'd want to be with both of us, but not with any of the other wives. The best she's ever managed was to tolerate them doing things with you."

"She promised Joyce that she would be good, and not make any fuss about what I did with any of the other wives. She can't help it that she gets jealous. I can't stand the idea of her being all alone, Kenny. I just don't want to do that to her."

"You don't have to do it. I never said you had to decide to stay here with us, Brenda. I've always understood that you and Emily have a very special friendship. The problem I'm having is really just with Emily, not with you. I'm sorry you're caught in the middle, but you are, and I need to get things settled with Emily. The way she came back here and then immediately tried to take you back from us, that showed me she really didn't come back to settle anything with our family. I can't keep on letting her return to a situation she's always going to be unhappy being in. It just doesn't work well for any of us."

"It wasn't all Emily's fault, Kenny. Joyce and I were both telling her that we'd make things better for her after she came back and got everything worked out with you. We both told her you wanted her back. A lot of what happened was because she was afraid to face you and tell you about that Harold guy, and the possibility that she might be pregnant. She knew you were going to be upset, even after we told her what you told us to tell her. She told me that the only way you wouldn't be upset would be if you had stopped loving her. She didn't want to see you and take a chance that you'd tell her that."

"Emily doesn't fit in with this whole multiple wives idea we've worked out. She wants one husband, and you. She isn't going to give up on having that as long as she believes it might happen for her. She probably decided I wasn't ever going to be that husband, so she's been trying to find someone else to fill the role. I've thought about everything that's happened, and, I've decided, as long as she still believes she has any chance at all of getting what she wants, she'll keep going after it. Maybe she should have what she wants. I can afford to let you go off with her, Brenda. Joyce will be real upset it that happens, but I'll go out and find her someone else that she can get excited about."

"Don't make me leave too, Kenny. I really promise that I won't ever leave you again. I need to be here with you. I really did come back here because I needed to be here. Dwightee and April need to be here too. There were so many things we all missed. I never felt safe out in California. Some of those people, they'd come up and say things to me, or else they'd put their hands on me like I was just an object, and it was okay for them to touch me. I'm used to people looking at me, that doesn't bother me usually. I don't like people I don't even know coming up and talking to me, or reaching out and touching me. I'm not some children's doll. I'm a real person."

"I'm not going to make you leave, Brenda. You have to make your own decision about what you want to do. I only want to tell you one more thing, and it's just something for you to think about. I'm not trying to tell you what you should do. I've known Emily almost as long as you have. I've paid close attention to how she acts at different times. The stronger she feels her position is, the less reasonable and cooperative she becomes. She's always been like that. Whenever things were going really well with the two of us, she'd pick a fight, or demand something I couldn't or wouldn't give her. Whenever I gave up and stopped trying to be with her, she'd turn sweet again and make me want to be with her some more. She does the same thing with you. Remember how you used to treat her when we were kids? You'd let her eat your pussy, but you wouldn't eat hers? She'd come over and clean your room for you, and you know how much she hated housework. She'd always do what she had to do to be with us."

"She always loved me though, even when we were fighting, or when I treated her so mean in school and told everyone she was queer for girls."

"I'm certain she loves you, Brenda. She wouldn't have come all the way back here if she didn't. It isn't that she doesn't love me either, because I'm sure she does. The thing is, she's got it into her head that she can have you all to herself, without any other women, as long as she lets you have sex with another man too. She doesn't think she can accomplish that now, not if the other man is me. She's right about that. I won't ever do what she wants. As long as you are willing to be with her, she'll keep trying to create the lifestyle she dreams of having."

"What happens once I tell her I'm staying with the family? What happens to Emily then?"

"I can't be one hundred percent sure what will happen. She might suffer for awhile and then decide to go out and find another man and woman to fulfill her dreams. She might decide that she needs to keep trying to take you away from us again. What I'm hoping will happen is that she will begin to understand that the best she can ever hope for is to share you and me with all the other wives. If she decides she wants to do that, we have to make sure she understands that she will have to leave again if she starts trying to talk you into going off with her again."

"You'd let her come back if she promises not to cause problems?" Brenda was all excited again. I could see her face lighting up with the happiness she now felt.

"No. That isn't what I said. What I said was Emily has to have some time to decide what she is going to do, after you tell her that you've decided on staying with us. She could decide lots of different things when that happens. If she decides she doesn't want to find substitutes for you and me, and then decides she's willing to accept things the way they will be in our family, then I might be talked into considering everyone else's pleas for letting her come back to be with us. I won't make it fast or easy for her, and it can't be me that decides it's all right and invites her back. It has to seem like I'm still very much against the idea. I can't even be the one who was willing to listen to her come pleading for another chance. It won't work unless all the other wives came to me and actually convince me that I need to give Emily one more last chance to prove that she's learned her lesson and really has changed her ways. Even that wouldn't be enough unless she knows she'd be gone forever if she ever did anything to cause us these same kinds of problems again."

"Is it okay with you if I give Emily some of my money, Kenny? The way she's been spending it and loaning it out, she'll be broke soon."

"That isn't necessary, Brenda. I'm trading her money now, and I'm pretty sure she won't run out of having plenty of money to live comfortably on. I might have to slow her down some about her constantly lending all that money to her parents though."

"What does Emily have to do to convince you she's changed?"

"She has to change. I can't tell you what she has to do specifically, because I don't know. I'll know when the time comes, if it ever does. If you say anything to her about what I've said to you, she'll start pretending she's changed, but it won't fool me if she tries that. Remember, giving her hope now just makes it less likely she'll ever really change the way she needs to. The only way Emily will ever really change is after she has lost all hope. That's how she always has been. If she really believes all hope is gone, she might be willing to accept the need to make those changes. It's important that she initiate those changes herself, and that she do it because she finds out she really can't accept the idea of our not being in her life anymore. You'll need to be strong. I know what I'm talking about, Brenda, because I had to do that too in order to have any chance to get my family back together."

"I don't know if I can be strong around her, Kenny. I really do love her now. Other than you, and both our children, and my parents too, when I was little, she's the only other person I've ever really loved that much. It isn't because of the sex thing either. She just has loved me so much. She always has. Even when I was being so mean to her. You never loved me after you found out I did those bad things, but she always did. If you think it might work, I'll do my best to not say anything about what you've told me needs to happen."

At some point while we were talking, my ability to achieve and sustain an erection returned. We were both on our sides, facing each other, when my dick made contact with Brenda's leg. She moved back at first, a little startled by it, but moved right in close to it again once she realized what it had been that touched her. It didn't take very long for the two of us to wrap up our serious conversation and begin to deal with the stiff problem that had arisen between us.

Sex is always good. Make up sex is usually a lot better that regular good sex. Make up sex when you are coming back from the edge of a relationship ending precipice, is incredible. There aren't words to describe the intense feelings. It seems like every nerve ending is awake and on fire. You want it to go on and on, but it feels too exquisite to last beyond the time it takes to make the connection between your head, your heart, and your balls. When you cum though, it all empties out of you. You become incapable of holding anything back.

We both ended up sleeping well that night. I'd dozed off with me still on top of her, my partially erect prick still buried semi-deeply inside her. I remember almost waking up again when she pushed her way out from beneath me. It might have been a few seconds after I nodded off, or it might have been an hour or more. I couldn't tell you. I slept better that night than I had for awhile. My plan was still possible. It had gotten sidetracked, and been modified somewhat, but it was still a plan that now had some chance of working.

When I came downstairs on Sunday morning, I could tell that everyone was trying to tell by my facial expression and the way I was carrying myself, how things had gone with Brenda. After all these years, we'd grown to know each other pretty well. This level of knowledge was doubly true between Joyce and me. I saw how worried she looked, and she saw what I really believed was a calm and confident appearing man when she darted looks over in my direction.

I wasn't sure what she expected to happen when she sent Brenda up to stay in my room. Maybe it was just that she hoped I would be able to convince Brenda not to leave us to be with Emily. Speaking of Emily, she was nowhere in evidence when I came downstairs for breakfast. When I went out to the playroom though, I saw Tony and Sissy playing with some of my other children. I was glad to see that it wasn't just Dwightee and April they were playing with this time.

Over breakfast, all the conversation was centered around safe and neutral topics. No one brought up any of the unpleasantness we'd experienced on the day before. Dale, Cindy, and I were leaving at three, with Hans, for the airport. After breakfast was over, I went out to spend more time with my children. Brenda still hadn't made an appearance. When I'd left to come downstairs, she had still been asleep.

I was balanced on one knee, talking to Gwen, when I saw, out of the corner of my eye, all the wives sneaking past the playroom doorway and heading straight towards the staircase. I was pretty sure that Brenda would soon be subjected to a real detailed questioning by the remaining co-wives. Even Eddie had gone up the staircase with the others. That reminded me, I really should take some time and have a talk with Eddie. I'd been too hard on her the day before. I wasn't angry or even that disappointed in her. Eddie had never left any doubts about how much she enjoyed having a whole houseful of willing women around to provide her with varied sexual entertainment.

I had told her several times that I was okay with her decision to remain away from our family until things had been restored back to how they once had been. While it was true that I didn't feel as much closeness with Eddie as I did with her sister, it wouldn't be fair for me to berate her for what she had been doing. She had asked my permission for almost all of it. I didn't know if she was seeing other men, but if she was, the thought of it wasn't as troubling to me as it would have been with all the others. Eddie was a hedonist. She lived for pleasure. It was a big part of what had drawn me to her, and what had endeared her to all of us. Eddie knew how to have a good time, and how to entertain herself with whoever she happened to be visiting. I felt it was important that she understand our relationship would be different than it was with all the others. I didn't take her quite as seriously as I took all the other wives. In a very real sense, I thought of Eddie as more of an adult playmate than as a real wife. I didn't think she'd mind knowing I felt that way about her.

About half an hour after all the wives went upstairs, Joyce came back down alone. She came into the play area and caught my eye. I knew, without a word being spoken, that she wanted to talk to me in my home office, and that she preferred it be a private meeting. In spite of all our recent difficulties, Joyce and I were still well attuned with each other.

I waited for a minute after she left the playroom before getting up off the floor where I'd been involved as a spectator while Bertie played Bunny for the World's Championship of checkers. Bertie had won the first two games they'd played, and now both Derek and Bunny were trying to convince her that, because it was for the World's Championship, it had to be the best three out of five, not just two out of three.

As soon as I closed the door to my office behind me, Joyce started in grilling me about what had happened between Brenda and me. I let her ask her questions before I answered her with a question of my own.

"What did she tell you we had talked about, Joyce?"

"She said you had great sex and then went right to sleep. She said she's changed her mind about going back to Emily. She said, after this week, she will be staying with us from then on. Why don't you take her back to Birmingham with you today instead, so we don't have to worry about her changing her mind again?"

"No, I'm not going to do that. I told Emily she could have another week to try to get Brenda to stay with her. I don't think Brenda will choose Emily. I don't want Emily to think I'm worried that she can make Brenda change her mind."

"You might not be worried, but I sure will be. You were just so terrible yesterday, Kenny. I don't remember when the last time was that I've been so angry with you. You did everything you could think of to drive a wedge between all of us and you. You couldn't have done any worse unless you'd gone around hitting all of us."

"I'm saving that for next weekend. I felt like hitting you Friday night and again yesterday, Joyce. You keep acting on your plans and you're going to ruin everything you were trying to accomplish. You need to start listening to me again whenever I tell you something."

"You would be better off taking your own advice about listening, Kenny. Emily says she's finished with all of us now. She said some things to Eddie and me that were very hateful. I think Brenda and I are the last two people I know that still wish she could come back and be here with us. She and Eddie really got into a big fight last night. Eddie made a joke about waiting to see which one of you ended up with Brenda before she decided who she wanted to be friends with. Emily almost hit her."

"I told you, Joyce. All Emily really cares about is not having other women doing things with Brenda. She wouldn't mind Brenda fucking other guys, just not other women. She sees Brenda doing things with other women being the same as Brenda cheating on her. That's been a big part of her problem ever since we started doing this thing with all the other wives. Every time we added another wife, it just got that much worse for Emily."

"She didn't complain about it. She stayed with us for all that time. If it bothered her that much, why did she do it?"

"She needed to wait and find a way to get Brenda to agree to leave with her. She wouldn't have ever left without Brenda. If Brenda had just been fucking me when she came back here, Emily wouldn't have been in such a hurry to drop everything and come back here herself. She accepts me as being Brenda's male lover. Some of the things Brenda was telling her about what she was doing with you, Shirley, Dale, and Cindy they must have almost driven poor Emily crazy. It was those stories that got Emily flying back out here so quickly."

"I'm still very angry with you about Emily and Eddie. I'm happy that Brenda will be with us, but we could have kept the other girls with us too."

"If we do end up losing Emily, Joyce, it will be one hundred percent your fault. You made her feel strong and powerful. I need her feeling helpless and hopeless. You don't have any idea about how you should be acting with Emily and Brenda, but you can't make yourself stay out of things and let me handle them. I don't understand why you refuse to accept that I'm better at knowing what it takes to keep Brenda and Emily with us than you are. Do you still think you have something better to offer them than I do? Something they want more than they want what I can provide for them?"

"You think it's your dick they're after?"

"Probably it's partly that with Brenda. Emily likes a good hard screwing too, but it isn't sex from me she craves. She knows I'm the key to Brenda. She doesn't like knowing it, but she does. I've proven it to her too many times for her not to know it. She can only have Brenda if I step aside and allow it. I've stopped allowing it. After next week, the only way Emily is going to get another sniff of Brenda's pussy will be if I again decide to allow it. I won't allow it though, not unless Emily agrees to all my terms, and even if she does that, she'll always be on some type of probation with me. I won't make the mistake of letting Emily feel like she has the upper hand with me again. I'll get her back for you, Joyce, but it will cost me a lot more than I was hoping to pay."

"You aren't talking about money, are you?"

"What do I care about money, Joyce? No, I was talking about love. To do what I need to do now, I can never allow Emily to know that I still love her. That's part of the price I'm going to have to pay because you couldn't keep your God damned nose out of something you had no business meddling with. You just want what you want, and you're always willing to have someone else pay too high a price to get it for you. It's one of the main reasons why I have all these subconscious issues with you. For the past few months you've been busting my balls because you haven't been able to satisfy your urges for other women. You don't even have the integrity to admit what the real issue has been. Instead, you try to pass it off as this great concern you have for our family being back like it was."

"That isn't true, Kenny. That's a hateful thing for you to say to me."

"It is true, and it is hateful. You better start being real careful that my hatefulness doesn't keep getting bigger. Right now, it isn't any real problem, but you don't want to let it keep growing until it becomes stronger than the love I feel for you. If that day ever comes, you'll end up like Emily is right now, Joyce. I love you with all my heart, but I swear to you that I'll divorce you the very next time you fuck things up like you've done now with Emily. This came about because you were too impatient to get your entire harem back. This whole situation might still blow up on us, and then we'll end up losing both Emily and Brenda for good. You'd better hope it doesn't turn out that way."

Once again I watched as Joyce fled from me. I blamed Hans for that one too. That was the thing about going back and making important non-business decisions. In business, all you stood to lose was your money. The decisions I was making now were placing in jeopardy something I valued much more than mere money. I was deciding though, and I was committed to living with what I was deciding.

I flew over to the clinic the next Tuesday morning. Things in Ridgeline were still all up in the air. Brenda was staying at her house with Emily. Joyce was becoming certain that Brenda was being turned against all of us by Emily. Shirley was still upset with the entire situation. She had talked to Joyce about possibly wanting to move back to her own house, because it looked like all the rest of the wives were too angry with me to ever return to be with the family.

Joyce was worried about what I'd said to her. It hadn't helped any when Mama had told her that she needed to listen to what I was telling her more too. Mama was torn between liking the fact that I was acting decisively, and fearful that, like her own father, I was paying too little attention to how my words and actions were affecting all of those around me. She too was worried about Brenda's ultimate decision. From conversations I had with Joyce and Mama, it didn't look like Brenda was telling anyone what I'd told her. That was a good thing.