Chapter 20

In spite of all the laughing and kidding around about what Joyce had done with Sue Ellen Barkin, it created a distinct change in the atmosphere around the house. There was a slight pulling away, from Emily and Brenda, and Shirley became a closer confidante to Joyce.

That night, in bed, Joyce and I spoke about my feelings. I tried to be honest with her, explaining that I wasn't jealous, but that I still felt like she had let all of us down by what she had done. She listened closely to what I was telling her, and I could tell it was making her feel bad.

"None of the X's were upset, Kenny. I asked all of them."

"They all love you, Joyce. They didn't want you to feel bad. Remember when we talked about things like this happening? It was you who said it could destroy the group. They are all hoping that it doesn't. I'm hoping that too, but it eventually could. If you could do what you did, and nothing happens to you, what's to stop one of them from doing the same sort of thing? Maybe with a guy this time."

"I didn't plan for it to happen."

"You aren't a five year old, Joyce. You can't use a five year old's excuse. We're all adults here, and we're responsible for our actions. What you allowed to happen today, has put our whole group arrangement at risk. You're going to see changes occurring because of this."

We didn't have any sex that night, but I held her close to me, until her tears stopped, and she was able to get to sleep. Over the next day or two, I noticed that Joyce was spending much more time by herself, or with the twins. It was her choice to do this. None of the X's were trying to avoid her, and neither was I.

Somehow, in all the excitement of her bringing Sue Ellen home, Joyce had neglected to inform us that she was carrying twins again. We were at dinner that weekend, when Shirley remembered to ask her if the ultrasound had been able to tell if it was going to be a girl or a boy this time.

"Boys. I'm having twins again, and they're both boys."

I think we were as upset about her forgetting to tell us this news, as we'd been about the Sue Ellen incident. Emily and Brenda had both gone in for ultrasound's earlier, but both had asked not to be told about the sex of their baby. Shirley and Joyce both wanted to know.

Shirley had found out that she was having a girl, and this worried her, because she was afraid the child would end up as tall as her mother. After Joyce gave us the news about the twins, we were all talking to her at once. For half an hour, it seemed like old times again at the dinner table.

Brenda got hit on and asked out a lot. It was just a natural consequence of the way she looked. She'd be waiting in line at the grocery store, and someone would start talking to her, obviously trying to see if she would be interested in them or not. Men and women both, although the women weren't as obvious about it.

It was about a week after the Sue Ellen incident when Brenda came to me to complain about one of the clerks at the grocery store we were using. She said he had just been friendly and helpful in the beginning, but, lately, some of his comments had become too forward for her comfort. He had made a couple of recent comments about her body, and on the effect that seeing her walking always had on him.

"You're a beautiful woman, Brenda. Next time he gets out of line though, complain to the store manager. If you want, I'll come with you tomorrow, and we'll both make a complaint."

"He's going to claim I flirted with him if we do that."

"Flirted how?"

"I didn't mean I did flirt with him. He was always so helpful when I asked if they had whatever they were out of on their shelves. He'd go into the back and try to find some for me. I wasn't flirting, but I would say hello whenever I saw him, and sometimes, if I wasn't in a hurry, I'd stop and talk to him. When he started getting fresh though, I stopped doing that."

"Look, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, and you shouldn't have to put up with him making unwelcome comments and advances to you. We'll go down there and get him straightened out."

Later that day, we did go there, and Brenda and I spoke to the manager about it. Fred, the employee in question, wasn't on duty that day. We didn't make a big deal about it, but I did say that I wanted it to stop right away, or else I would make it a big deal. The manager apologized to us, and told us he'd have a strong talk with Fred. He assured us there wouldn't be a further problem.

That would have been the end of it, if Brenda hadn't made a comment about how Joyce would have probably handled the same situation. I didn't know if she was trying to make a joke or what, but it was a pretty cruel thing to say or suggest about Joyce. I looked at Brenda, but didn't comment on what she'd said. Later, when I'd thought about it some more, I wished I had said something, to let her know I didn't think she was being fair to Joyce.

I started paying more attention to what each of the X's were saying, about Joyce, or to her. I began noticing that Emily and Brenda were both acting less friendly towards her. I felt bad about it, but I also understood how they felt. Joyce had done something that had to be construed as a betrayal of all of us. I had decided to forgive her, and Shirley seemed to have done so as well. It was becoming obvious that Emily and Brenda still harbored some resentment. I didn't know whether I wanted to make an issue of it, to try to get us all back to how we'd been before the incident, or just wait and let it sort itself out.

At dinner a few nights later, Emily was talking about some girl in her creative writing class, and about a story the girl wrote, and had read to the class as part of her assignment. Apparently, writing about sex was allowed by the professor, and the girl had gotten a high grade by writing about an incident that had happened to her in high school, while she and her boyfriend were parked at a make out spot with another couple. In this girl's story, all the action was centered on the other couple, not with her and her boy friend.

"I was thinking of writing about you and Sue Ellen, Joyce." Joyce gasped, and Brenda snickered. Shirley and I remained silent, but I was hoping that Joyce would speak up for herself. In my mind, Emily was way out of line with saying that.

"Is this what you want to do, Emily? Go ahead, if that's really how you feel about me." Joyce stood up and left the dining area. A few seconds later, Shirley got up and went after her. I stayed there, waiting for Emily to say even one more word. Emily saw my expression, and it wasn't what she must have hoped to see. I was angry at her. I knew I was glaring her way, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't even try.

"I was making a joke, Kenny. I'm not going to write about that." Emily was trying to create some wiggle room, after her remarks had backfired, with everyone else but Brenda.

"It wasn't funny. You knew you'd embarrass and hurt her by telling us that. The same thing goes for you, Brenda, with that nasty comment you made about Joyce fucking that clerk first, and then coming to me, after, to complain about him. I already warned Joyce that her actions had opened the door for our group to be destroyed. This is how it starts. However this ends up, Joyce and I will still be together. Any of the rest of you are free to leave whenever you choose to. I'm more disappointed in the two of you than I am in Joyce. She didn't set out with the intent to hurt anyone, while both of you did."

"She broke the rules, and nothing bad happened to her. If we'd done it, you'd have raised a big stink." Brenda was reacting to my including her in my indictment. To her, Joyce had been given a privilege that was specifically denied to her. That's why she was upset. She was trying to force me to take some action against Joyce.

"Joyce isn't like you, Brenda. When she does wrong, she knows it, and she already feels bad about it. She doesn't need you to point the finger at her, or try to make her feel even worse."

"You aren't going to do anything to punish her for what she did with Sue Ellen?" Emily had that angry, confrontational expression on her face again. It had been absent for a long while, but there it was, back again.

"What do you suggest I do? I already told her I was disappointed with her. She did it, and it can't be undone. We either have to live with it, or else make the situation even worse. Is that what you want?"

"If she can do it and nothing happens to her, why do we even have rules?" Emily was digging in the wrong garden with this line of argument. Did she want me to rescind all the rules we'd agreed to? If she did want that, would she enjoy the consequences that would inevitably follow the rescission?

"It isn't the rules, it's the behavior. Whether we have the rules or not, certain actions will result in people having to leave the group. The rules are like reminders to all of us. What happened with Joyce and Sue Ellen didn't bother me enough to make me want to force any action through against her. I guess you two feel different about it. You have the same rights as the rest of us. Tell Joyce what you've decided. You should know that Joyce is the group, not me. Whatever you decide, I'm going to stay with Joyce. I'll be very sad to lose you and Brenda. Shirley too, if it comes to that, but Joyce didn't do anything that would make me even consider leaving her and the twins."

"What would happen if Brenda and I did the same thing she did?"

"I don't know. I guess you'll just have to go out and do whatever you want to do, and then we'll find out. Right now, the only thing I'm certain of, is that Joyce didn't get me that upset, and the way you and Brenda are treating her has me very worried that our group is about to come apart."

"What about our babies? We're having your babies too." Brenda had started crying when she asked me that, and Emily was looking over at her, annoyed that she had suddenly changed the subject.

"I'll still love the babies, Brenda. No matter what happens with us, I'll always love my children. This wasn't ever about the children. You two resent what you see as greater freedom I'm giving Joyce. I didn't give it to her, she took it. I'd much rather she hadn't, but she did. It affects all of us, but I can only decide for me. Whatever you do, I'll still have to decide only for me. You both can take this as far as you want to. You know me, you know how I react. I don't want either of you denying yourselves anything you really want to do. There are things I can tolerate, and things I can't. I've already told you about the things I won't tolerate."

"If Joyce fucked another guy, would you leave her?"

I looked over at Emily. She'd just asked me the million dollar question. She knew my history with that, from back when Brenda had fucked Gary and Darryl. Sometimes, Emily fought just like she fucked, and she really needed to be restrained before she hurt someone. If I said yes, and Joyce had already fucked someone, Emily would have me boxed in. I knew I probably wouldn't leave Joyce for that, although I couldn't be totally sure of it.

What I was sure of, was Emily was going to keep pushing me, until she had her answer. She deserved an answer, but I was trying to figure out a way I could give her one that wouldn't commit me, just in case Joyce had already fucked someone else.

"I already told all of you that I wouldn't tolerate any of you fucking other guys, and then still being part of the group. This applies to Joyce, the same as the rest of you."

There was silence from both girls. They looked at each other, but neither of them spoke. Joyce and Shirley came back to the dining room a few seconds after I stopped speaking. Both of them had been crying too.

I was upset that everyone seemed determined to use things that happened, as some sort of lever, to open up the possibility of them doing whatever they wanted, or to try to improve their position within the group. Emily was a strong personality, and if she decided to work to undermine our group, it was doomed to fail. Joyce either couldn't, or wouldn't, take her on, to neutralize her destructive potential, within the group. It was being left up to me to do that, and I wasn't sure I wanted to make it into some kind of a contest with her.

"Joyce, Emily wants to know what I'd do if I found out you'd fucked another guy."

"I haven't, and I wouldn't. Why would I do that? You already said you'd make any of us leave if we did that. I wouldn't want to anyway. I love you."

"Are you satisfied with her answer Emily? Anything you want to tell me, now that she's said she hasn't, and she wouldn't?"

"What about Shirley? Is she a special case?" Emily looked right at Shirley when she asked me that.

"No, she isn't a special case either. Shirley, is there something I should know about you and another guy?"

"No, Kenny. Just you and Clay, and I haven't seen Clay since I sent him home when I was pregnant with Derek."

"Does that satisfy you, Emily, or is there something you want to tell me?"

"What about that time in your room with Gary? You, Shirley, and Gary. Joyce was in there with you too. That time when you locked the bedroom door."

"Oh, you mean that time when we locked the door? I forgot about that time. Well, since I was right there, and participating with all of them, I can't very well raise any objections to it, can I?"

"If they can do that, why can't we?"

"You can. You just let me know when you're ready, and I'll set it up to do that with you too. Joyce doesn't mind, do you, Joyce? She likes to watch though."

"I don't want to do that, especially not with Gary. I meant if you forced me or something, would I get kicked out then?"

"No, you wouldn't get kicked out if I forced you to do it. What about you, Brenda? Would you like to try being fucked by two dicks at once?"

"Not me. I don't want anyone else but you. Guys I mean. It isn't fair though, that you make special allowances for some people, and not for others."

"That's a good point. You have to let me know what it is you do want me to allow, and I'll tell you if I can, or not." Brenda looked at me, then over at Emily. She licked her lips, unconsciously, but she didn't speak at once.

"If you ever do force Emily, I want to watch you do it too."

"You know what? After some of the things Emily's said today, she might just need to be punished that way. I promise you, if I ever decide to force her to do that, I'll let you watch it happen. We shouldn't make her do that when she's pregnant though. We don't want anything to hurt the baby. I won't forget this though."

Emily's face was flushed, and she had a very worried expression on her face. She knew me well enough to believe that I might force her to do that, as a punishment. She was sure I'd double teamed Shirley with Gary. Emily still had this very strong desire to be treated roughly. To her, sex with punishment, was what it took to ring all her chimes at once

I left the girls alone, after Emily and Brenda went over and started hugging Joyce, apologizing for their earlier actions and comments. That night, I was scheduled to be in with Brenda and Emily. I knew it was going to be one of those nights when Emily was going to fight and resist with far greater intensity than usual for her. She never made it easy, but sometimes, when she thought she was in need of a lot of discipline, she would fight like a tigress. Brenda and I always were left wrung out and exhausted on those nights.

The next morning, I had a lot of difficulty getting up for school. There was a new series of scratches on my chest and arm, from where my sweating hand had temporarily lost its grip on Emily's wrists. Both girls were in their sixth months of pregnancy by then, and had swollen belly's that made it difficult to be very active in bed. Still, where there is a will. Brenda and I managed to carefully manhandle Emily to the point where she finally had to beg us to let her loose, so she could get some sleep. I fell asleep while Brenda was untying Emily's wrists from the headboard.

When I went back to my bedroom to shower, and to get ready for my eight o'clock class, I found Shirley and Joyce sleeping together in each other's arms. Later, in the shower, I was joined by Joyce. She was already planning what she and I would do to Emily, after the baby was born. She managed to coax a small amount of cum out of me, by using her talented mouth. She had gotten her final braces put on, but these had no elaborate rubber bands on them. I missed the feeling of all those rubber bands, but the blow jobs were still spectacular. If they hadn't been, she never would have managed to even get my dick hard that morning, much less get me to cum.

I had to admit that I was damn lucky to have four such interesting women around me all the time. Sometimes though, I found myself wishing for a simpler, less complicated, existence. Usually, about the time I'd start wishing for simpler, something new would present itself, and I too would get caught up in the excitement of the possibilities.

Emily had been the ringleader of the insurrection against Joyce. I had to wonder though, if all of it hadn't happened, just because she wanted some of the same kind of attention she thought Shirley had gotten from Gary and me. While it had been Shirley's fantasy, for Emily, it would be the near ultimate in humiliation. I wasn't forgetting Brenda either. I had no doubt that she wanted more than just to see Emily treated like that.

All of my thinking about this was causing me to question whether I was being too repressive with the X's. I did have these strong feelings of jealousy, connected to just the thought of any of them doing anything with another guy. Here I was, enjoying the attentions of four different women, but unable to deal with even the thought of any of them enjoying more than just one man.

Somewhere, as my thoughts were focused on this line of reasoning, it came to me that Joyce and the X's might be responsible for trying to turn my thoughts that way. Maybe Mama had been right, years before, when she accused me of being paranoid.

I wanted all the girls to be happy, but I still couldn't reconcile myself to the idea that their happiness required more than the attentions of one man, me. A lot of men wouldn't have allowed the girls as much sexual freedom as I did. I didn't try to discourage any of them from doing whatever they wanted to do with each other. In that sense, I considered myself to be very open minded and accepting.

I didn't know anyone else, except, possibly, Phil, who had ever been faced with such a situation. There was no one I could turn to for advice. If Uncle Bunny had still been alive, I'd have gone straight to him. I wasn't sure why I felt I needed to make some changes. In some circular way, I reasoned that Joyce was responsible, because of what she'd done with Sue Ellen.