Chapter 2

On the Thursday, Greg saw his solicitor and told him to start divorce proceedings. The lawyer pressed him quite hard that he should really try reconciliation first, at least sit down and talk to Susan and hear her story. But all Greg would do was to get assurance that the action could be called off if that was appropriate, but that he felt that at the moment the marriage was broken, and divorce was the natural consequence.

After seeing the solicitor, Greg decided that some financial precautions would be sensible. He set up new bank accounts, and had his salary paid into his new personal one and not the joint account. He tried cancelling some of Susan's credit cards, but that seemed easier said than done.

One thing kept nagging at Greg. The destruction of David Shiner's career wasn't as satisfying as he'd hoped. He still felt pure anger towards that man. He could understand and even accept the anger that he felt towards Susan, that went with the hurt and despair. But towards David Shiner there was nothing but anger. Eventually, on the Saturday morning he could not resist driving round to David Shiner's address. He pulled up in his car outside the neighbour's house and sat and watched. David Shiner was mowing the front lawn, up and down in stripes. He looked exactly as he imagined him, a totally average man in his early forties, not too fat but probably a little heavier than when he had been in his twenties. He had less hair than Greg had imagined, with a pronounced bald spot at the back. But, he looked an average regular guy. How looks can deceive, thought Greg.

As he watched, a woman came out and went to the garage, she backed out a family estate car, this year's model according to its registration, but Greg realised that wasn't surprising, Shiner is in a new job. Having parked the car on the drive, the wife disappeared into the garage again, and then two boys, in their early teens Greg estimated, came out and collected two bikes from the garage and cycled off, calling that they would be back for lunch. His wife came out again, with a trowel, and knelt down to weed a flower bed. The whole scene had a wholesome domestic innocence about it. And that made Greg even angrier.

Greg got out of his car, and approached.

"David Shiner?" called Greg.

Shiner stopped his mowing and looked round. Greg was walking up the drive, nearly to the parked car.

"Yes, I'm David Shiner." said Shiner, leaving the mower and walking towards Greg. The wife stopped weeding and just knelt watching with interest.

As Shiner came to Greg, Greg said, quite loudly and clearly, "I'm Greg Perry. Susan Perry's husband."

Shiner's face drained of every ounce of blood. He glanced backwards at his wife, who was beginning to stand. He was still looking that way when Greg's fist hit his face. Just once, but very hard, just to the left of Shiner's mouth.

David Shiner lurched sideways and fell against the car, his shoulder catching the mirror, so that when he slid down onto his crumpled legs, everyone could hear his shirt ripping. There may have been no blood in his face, but there was plenty in his lips and gums. Blood just poured from a split lip and his mouth.

Greg just turned around and walked steadily and determinedly back to his car. Mrs Shiner ran to her husband, shouting "Hey", but she just crouched over her husband holding his head, as Shiner put a hand up to his mouth, and taking it away he looked at it, covered in blood.

Greg sat in the driving seat of the car, and suddenly he began to shake. His whole body shook, and then he began to cry. But through his tears he watched Shiner and his wife, she was talking, but he couldn't hear what was said. But then she was hitting Shiner, giving him a rapid pummelling with her clenched fists. The truth hurts, thought Greg.

Slowly he recovered and drove off, back to the hotel. George was behind the bar, "A whisky, please George."

"You look rather shaken, Sir. Is everything OK?"

"Yes, I'm OK. Feeling better actually, but my knuckles are just a bit bruised." Greg said, with a tense smile.

"And he has a matching nose, I assume, Sir."

"I think it was his lips and mouth, but you get the idea."

"Well, then that whisky's on me, Sir."

After lunch, Greg lay on his bed and listened to soft classical music on the radio. He felt more at peace than he had felt in days. And he decided that he was now free to really think about what he wanted in the future, rather than just be a mess of emotion about what happened in the past.

As the room began to darken with the setting sun, and with soft music still gently playing, Greg's phone rang. He picked it up and looked at it.

"Yes, Jude. What can I do for you?"

"Hi Dad. What's going on between you and Mum. I've just phoned her and she's a complete mess. I had to give up talking to her in the end, I just couldn't get her to talk sensibly. She says you've left her, and that she's done something terrible. I don't know whether that's before or after you left. As I said, she seemed too upset to really talk."

"Well, Yes, Jude. She was right, I have left her. I was wondering how I was going to tell you and Mel. She seems to have saved me the trouble."

"So? What's it all about? You can't just walk out. I just can't imagine it. Dad."

"Well, I hate to tell you, but that is precisely what I did when I found out that your mother has been having an affair. I guess that's her terrible thing. I'm sorry Jude, but it wasn't of my making."

"No. Dad. You must have it wrong. It's just not like Mum to do something like that. Come off it Dad, she just wouldn't."

"That's what I thought. But we were both wrong. His name is David Shiner, and she's known him for four months apparently. And she's been having an affair with him for about a month. She swears differently, but for all I know they may be at it right now. This may be the love of her life. I don't know, Jude. And to be honest, I don't think I care."

"No, Dad. May be she let things go too far once, or he pushed her into it, or... I don't know, something. But from what I heard this afternoon, she certainly seems to regret it now. Don't just give up on her, surely you can't?"

"This afternoon I've been doing some real thinking. And I think I have a choice. But the first thing is that I have accepted that your mother has torn up our marriage. She broke the contract. I have to admit that it is hard to understand, after twenty seven years you think you know someone, and I'd never have dreamt that she would do this. Yes, she might get unhappy or tempted, but to do this is against everything she believes in. But I have to accept that she did it, and I have to decide how do I want to spend the rest of my life."

"With Mum, surely, Dad? You can't really imagine a life without her, can you? Not really, when you think about the long term. Not now, not this week, but somehow as you look into the future."

"I'm having to, Jude. I'm having to. Oh, yes, I'm sure we could work something out. It wouldn't be easy, it would be a long, slow and painful process, but we could work out something if we both wanted to. And I don't know that she does want to, I asked her but she hadn't had the time to realise what a horrible period that would be. But, let's say we did, well what have I got then? Some sort of partnership which might work for most of the time, but where I would know that I was worth less than a quick romp with this David Shiner in her eyes. That's with us for ever, now. It was her choice, and it won't go away however hard I or any therapist or counsellor or your mother tries. Twenty five years of our marriage was worth less than an affair with another man. That's a fact, Jude. Now, is that the sort of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with? I don't know."

"Oh, Dad!... Who is this David Shiner, anyway?"

"Well I don't know him. But what I know of him, he's a perfectly average marketing manager. He's a few years younger than your mother, and he works for TMD here in town. You mother says he's married with three children."

"What's happening to them? Does the wife know?"

"I think she does now. And I don't think they'll be kissing and making up for a few days. Well, not the kissing bit, his mouth is a bit sore"

"You didn't Dad! Not you! What happened to all your ideas that you always taught us about respecting other people and that violence never solves anything?"

"I guess I left out giving you the chapter on exceptions to the rule when we were bringing you up. Sorry about that. And, anyway, it didn't solve anything, but I felt one hell of a lot better at the end of it."

"Good God! I don't know what I think about that. My Dad hitting someone. I know that if every man round here who gets upset with the other guy when some girl two times him and he gives the interloper a split lip, then there'd be a run on first aid products."

"Yeah, that's the way it's meant to be when you're twenty. When your fifty and you've been happily married for twenty five years different rules apply."

"Does Mel know?" asked Jude after a pause.

"No, I guess your mother or I should tell her, but she's in Spain at the moment with Carl. I think she's back at the end of this week. Your mother will know the exact date."

"Do you think I ought to come home? I can, it'll mean I miss a few lectures, but no one will mind, given the circumstances."

"Well, unless your mother actually needs you, I wouldn't. I'd love to see you, but I think your mother and I have a lot of thinking to do, and no one can help us with that." Greg sounded resigned to a lonely task.

"Well, if you're sure. Look after yourself Dad. And you will tell me, as soon as you two decide what you're going to do, won't you?"

"Of course. Now you just get on and enjoy yourself. That's what your meant to be doing. And don't worry about the future. Whatever happens, your mother and I love you dearly. Both you and Mel."

"I know that Dad. That's what makes all of this so... you know."

"Yes, I know. Don't worry. Bye, Son."

"Bye Dad."

Greg closed his phone, but sat staring at it for some minutes. Talking to Jude had helped more than Jude would ever realise. He now knew what the question was, did he want to live with a woman that had valued him and the marriage so low? Everything else, the why and when, the anger and hatred and hurt were all transitory. At the end of the day, Susan would always be a wife who had broken her vows and his trust in her. Could he live with that? Did he want to learn to live with that?

Greg relaxed, he knew the answer would come to him, answers always did, in time, and he'd given himself a good few weeks until he returned from the Seychelles to clear his thinking.

It was the Thursday of the following week that found Greg sitting on his bar stool, watching George, and feeling pretty low. He didn't feel like eating, but he sat on a barstool, drank a bit, but not too much, and watched George and the customers come and go.

Towards closing, George said "You seem a bit down this evening, Sir."

"Yes. Well... Once upon a time I had a wonderful marriage to a pretty wonderful girl, and now... How do I live happily ever after?"

"What you really need, Sir, at a time like this is a really bad bad girl."

"Why? Do you know any?" asked Greg, smiling and half interested.

"Of course, it's part of my job, Sir."

And so it was that Greg was saying goodbye to a pretty girl in her mid-twenties on the Saturday morning when Melissa came through the hotel door.

"Melissa!" Greg greeted her with a hug and a kiss when he saw her, "How was your holiday?"

"Oh! It was great. But I never expected to come home to this. I spoke to Mummy yesterday morning and she was so upset that I came down last night. What's it all about, Daddy? And who was that?"

"That was a girl called Chantelle. Or that's what she calls herself on nights like last night. She's a call girl, and I called, or more accurately George the barman called on my behalf. Actually she's a single mother and a nurse at the hospital, just supplementing her earnings with generous gentlemen, as she called it. But she was the first time I've ever paid for sex, and she'll probably be the last. Why does that upset you?"

"Oh, Daddy! How could you? You are still a married man, and how could you do that to Mummy?"

"Look, I've made my decision about your mother. I'm sorry, but divorce is the consequence of her actions, not mine. Beyond a proper and fair settlement, I don't owe her anything. And Chantelle was the first of my new adventures. I've got a lot of living to do. I thought I would do it with your mother... not the Chantelle bit, I guess I wouldn't be doing that bit... but all the rest that life can bring. But, there you are, this is the way this cookie crumbled, maybe I'll reconcile with your mother, and maybe not. In the meantime I have no intention of giving up on all the fun life can bring."

"But you can't really be going to divorce her. You can't. I go away on holiday with a pair of happily married parents, I come home to this. And Mummy is so sad. She knows she got it wrong, she really does. Can't you find a way, please Daddy? Don't split up the family over this, please."

"Look, Mel, let's go into the lounge and have some coffee. This must be a dreadful shock to you. It was a bit of a surprise to me. But, this is the way it is. Come along, Darling, let's go and talk."

And that's what they did. Melissa could offer no explanation of Susan's behaviour. She was just struggling to accept what was happening, and trying to find a way over or around it. But Greg was regretful but adamant, and Melissa knew that once her father had made up his mind, then there would be no changing him. And, in all honesty, she could see no real reason why he should change.

Then, on the following Tuesday, just as Greg was leaving work at the end of a full day, as he walked through Reception on the way to his car he was approached by a man. It was David Shiner. Greg couldn't help himself, he glanced at the security cameras, making sure there would at least be a record of what may be an ugly scene. But David Shiner recognised Greg's thoughts, "It's OK Mr Perry. I just want to talk, just for a few minutes, please."

Greg looked at him, but before he decided anything, again David Shiner spoke, "It's alright. I've no hard feelings about..." and he raised his hand to touch a yellowing patch beside his mouth.

"You may not have any hard feelings, I'm not sure that I don't." answered Greg, still looking hard at Shiner. "OK, five minutes, in the pub over the road."

Greg led the way, without a word. He ordered himself a whisky and looked at Shiner who asked for a half pint of beer. Once served, Greg led the way to a table and they sat themselves down, opposite each other.

"Well?" said Greg.

"Well, first, let me apologise for my part in breaking up you and Susan. It was certainly not my intention." He paused, waiting for a reaction from Greg. When there was none, he continued, "Susan phoned me at the weekend, it was the first time I'd heard from her since she'd called me on the Tuesday evening when you found out and she shouted at me that she never wanted to see me ever again. This time, she phoned to say that you were divorcing her, and that she wasn't sure whether I wouldn't get caught up in that, and that my wife might find out."

Again Shiner paused, and Greg said, "Well that was thoughtful of her. But how does that concern me?"

"You know that my wife knows about Susan, you saw to that. But, as I talked to her I realised that Susan is a totally broken woman. I talked to my wife about it, I've learnt to do absolutely nothing without talking to my wife, that's one thing this mess has taught me, and we decided I should see you and ask you to at least talk to Susan, I really do fear for her sanity."

"Thank you for telling me, but we reap what we sow. Susan has chosen not to be my problem. I'm sorry for her, of course, but there is nothing I can do."

There was silence between them, both just staring at each other. Greg broke the silence, "Has your wife forgiven you?"

"I don't know about that, not yet. After you called by on that Saturday, well I spent the night in the car. But on the Sunday she let me back in the house, at least to talk. We can't afford for me to run up a huge hotel bill, so I'm sleeping on a camp bed in the study. And we are talking, sort of. I think she will at least agree to some counselling, whether that will get us over it I don't know. I know I want it to, I love my wife very much, Mr Perry, very much."

"So, why did you have an affair? That's not the sort of thing that loving husbands do."

"No, it isn't. And I shouldn't have. I guess life was just a bit too much at the time. I had changed my job, I'd got my family to move here, dragging my wife and boys away from their friends. My wife had to give up her job to move. My children have had to move school, and they aren't particularly happy. We've taken on a huge mortgage, so money is tight. And I've got a new job where I've got to impress. And I seemed to have failed in that as well."

"Why?"

"I came here as the Marketing Manager at TMD, but on the understanding that they may appoint a Marketing Director some time in the near future. The carrot was there, dangling. Well, last week, the Personnel Director took me on one side to tell me that they have decided they will be advertising for a Marketing Director, but that there would be no point in my applying. This was all off the record, of course, but he said that there were aspects of my private life that senior management found disagreeable. Senior management means Edward Maskill, maybe you know him?"

Greg couldn't help himself, "Yes, I do. We meet occasionally for a chat."

David Shiner looked at him with a very questioning look in his eyes, Greg gave him his best poker face. There was a long pause.

"Anyway, I guess my excuse was stress." Shiner continued, "I met Susan, we got on well, and I found her very attractive, and I guess she was a refuge from all the pressures. It wasn't really meaningful, not to me, I don't think it was to her either. But I don't really know why she did it, from her point of view. She certainly knew it had no future, it was a little affair, no more than that."

"I thought it was just something like that. I never really thought it was anything particularly significant in that sense. Its significance was the betrayal of our marriage. Twenty five years of total faithful love from both of us just thrown away. I have to accept that that was her choice."

"Totally faithful love? That isn't what Susan implied to me."

"Maybe that was her way of excusing herself to you. She's never had any reason to doubt me or think I had some woman on the side."

"What I do know is that she loved you very deeply, and that she is now a broken woman. Please Greg, if I can call you that, please talk to her, give her another chance. I was shocked and worried about her when she talked to me."

"I will talk to her, but I doubt whether it change anything. And I won't do it for two or three weeks, I'm off to the Seychelles for a couple of weeks tomorrow. It was a holiday that I booked for myself and Susan, and it seems a pity to waste the whole ticket, so I'll go alone. I loved Susan with all my heart, I probably still do, but divorce is the consequence of her choices, not mine. And I've made my decision. Maybe, later, we will talk and find a different route, but for the moment the divorce stands." Greg just looked at David Shiner. Then he knocked back the final dregs of his whisky and left.

And so Greg went on holiday to the Seychelles, very conscious of the empty half of the king sized bed in the hotel bedroom. But he still found some enjoyment, and the sun and swimming were good. On many evenings he would stroll along the beach deep in thought. There was no escaping it, he longed for the security of a loving partnership. He wished, with all his heart, that Susan hadn't betrayed him and their wonderful marriage. But she had. For some unknown reason she had decided that a few hours of sexual pleasure in bed with David Shiner was more important than he was. Maybe, at least he should know why. Maybe, if she could really convince him that she regretted it, that it was just a moment's madness, then maybe he should do his best to try and find some way back. He really didn't know. What he did know was he hated his current loneliness almost as much as he hated what Susan had done.

So on his return, he phoned Susan, "Hello, it's me."

"Oh, Greg, it's good to hear your voice."

"Well, Sue, I need to see you. How about tomorrow evening? At the house, if that suits you."

Susan went quiet, he could almost hear her thinking of whether she dare ask what this was about, was this the start of putting things right? But, she remained neutral, "Of course, Greg. I'll cook something. Come for dinner. I'll cook your favourite."

"No, Sue. I'm coming to talk, not to eat. Seven thirty at the house, then. OK?"

"Yes, Greg, I'll be here."

And so, on the next evening, they sat facing each other in the sitting room of the family home surrounded by so many pieces of furniture and art that they had bought over twenty five happy years. They just sat in silence, looking at each other. Greg thought, 'God! She looks terrible!' He wasn't sure whether he was secretly pleased, or sad, or concerned for her. Maybe David Shiner was right, she really was depressed.

Susan was getting more nervous by the second, Greg was trying to find the words to start a conversation that might close such a large chapter of his life.

He thought he'd start by picking up on when they last spoke, it would at least give him the upper hand, "I guess we have a lot to talk about, maybe including agreeing the financial settlement if we can. We do have a divorce going on you know."

Susan gasped, she stared at him in disbelief, "You can't! No. This is wrong. You said we would talk and we haven't, you can't just end it like this. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry that you found out the way you did. I regret it so much. But you can't just end it, Greg. You owe me more than that."