You've seen it and I know you have wondered about it just as I have. How the best-looking and supposedly smartest girls always seem to go for the assholes and the dickheads. They ignore the guys who want to date them and who would treat them right and go for the guys who treat them like shit. Then after being treated like shit do they learn a lesson? Hell no, they go back for more and hang onto the jerk for dear life.
My daughter was one of those girls.
For the day she started middle school she began to parade the worlds longest line of losers and assholes through our living room. She would bring them home and introduce them to me and my wife Barb and we would smile and make nice until the guy left and then sit around and wonder just where we had gone wrong in bringing up DeAnn. We had no idea where she got her values, but we knew for certain that they hadn't come from us.
DeAnn was a beautiful girl, smart, active in school - Drama Club, Spanish Club, cheerleading and all that - but she was incapable of having a relationship with a nice guy. One thing she did have was an abundance of luck. DeAnn always managed not to be with her losers when they went down as so many of them did. She spent all night riding around with one and two blocks from where he dropped off DeAnn he was pulled over and arrested for driving a stolen car. Another one stuck up a 7-11 while DeAnn was out sitting in the car. She got out of the car to call one of her girlfriends from the pay phone and was in the booth when the cops came peeling into the lot and her boyfriend ran from them. Not all of her boyfriends were that bad, but enough of them were.
Then there were the ones that took advantage of her, mistreated her and in general screwed over her. They stood her up in order to go out with other girls and then lied to her when she asked them about it. They would pick her up, drive to a gas station and borrow money from her to put gas in their car, drive around with her for a half an hour or so and then bring her home. The next day she would find out that the guy went and picked up another girl to spend the rest of the evening with. Would that turn her away from them? No, she would run to the phone the next time they called.
It didn't get any better when she got older. College was a repeat of high school - one loser after another. It came as no surprise to either Barb or me when DeAnn married one. They hadn't been married six months before he was punching her around, but it wasn't his fault DeAnn said. It was just that he was so frustrated at not being able to find or keep a job (he kept failing his drug tests). Five years and two kids later he was busted for possession with intent to sell and was sent away for ten years. Thank God Barb and I thought, now maybe she will meet someone decent. No such luck. She took up with one of her husband's druggie friends and got the same treatment from him.
Barb passed away about the time that DeAnn took up with Darrel. I put the house up for sale because it was just too big for me to rattle around in. The market was soft at the time and I didn't get any offers that were anywhere near what I wanted. Then about three months after I put the house up for sale something happened that made me pull it off the market. I went over to DeAnn's one Saturday to pick up the grandkids to take them to the zoo. When they got in the car I saw that David had a black eye. I asked him what had happened and he turned his face away from me and wouldn't talk. I was trying to get him to talk to me when little Janie said, "Mommy made him promise not to tell."
"Tell what, sweetie?"
"That Darrel hit him."
I was out of that car in a flash and I stormed in the front door. Darrel was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching television when I came in. I was looking at him and he could see the murderous rage on my face and he dropped his beer and stood up and I hit him with everything that I had. I picked him up and threw him through the front screen door and then followed him outside where I planned on stomping his sorry ass into the ground. Darrel hit the ground running and never looked back to see if I was gaining on him.
I went back into the house and told DeAnn to start packing, "You and the kids are moving in with me."
"But I can't."
"You don't have a choice. If the dirtbags you chose to live with want to beat the shit out of you I could care less. You picked them; you deserve what you get. If you want to be a punching bag for assholes that's up to you, but when you start letting them hit your kids and then you tell your kids not to tell anybody it stops! Now you get busy and pack because if you don't I will take them away from you.
It was an adjustment getting used to having a house full of kids and a grown daughter living with me again, but after a couple of months things settled down and smoothed out. I paid for DeAnn's divorce and once David and Jane started school DeAnn went out and got a job. She began stopping after work to socialize with the people she worked with and soon she was dating. She did bring a couple of guys home to meet me and they seemed nice enough and I began to think things might work out for her.
One of the things that happened when my wife died was that my sex life came to an abrupt halt. For a long time after the funeral I had no interest in sex at all, but eventually I started noticing the ladies again. I looked around to see about coming up with some feminine companionship and ran into one of the unpleasant truths of life. The older you get, the older you look. Happens to everybody, right? Well that was my problem - age and perception. The women my age didn't appeal to me. The women who grabbed my attention were all twenty years younger than me and had no interest in a man my age. I made several attempts to hook up with one of the ones who turned me on with no luck at all. I finally accepted that it would be women my age or my hand.
That's when I found Internet porn. There was so much to see that could fire me up that I began to wonder if I was going to give myself blisters.
.... There is more of this story ...