Hello, Goodbye

by Harddaysknight

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Humor, Oral Sex, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: Man lusts for his famous neighbor, but is her husband spying on him?



"Hello, I'm..."

"Helen Hamilton!" I exclaimed.

When my doorbell rang, I had idly wondered who it could be. I never guessed it would be one of the few women I fantasize about on a regular basis. I was stunned to see Helen Hamilton standing on my doorstep.

"So you know who I am," she smiled. "I'm moving in next door and wanted to introduce myself."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief. "And I bet you're the new surprise anchor channel 16 has been so secretive about."

It wasn't rocket science, or brilliant detective work, to figure that one out. Our local ABC affiliate had been blitzing the airwaves with teasers about the new look for the six and eleven o'clock news. Ratings had been dropping and the station wanted to get back their share of the viewers, and the advertising revenue.

She seemed surprised that I guessed her 'secret' so quickly. It was Sunday afternoon and Monday was supposed to be the debut of the new look on 16. Then I remembered some of my manners.

"Please come in, Helen. May I call you Helen?" I quickly asked as I stepped aside to allow her access.

"I have to say that it is gratifying that you recognized me, and that you have been paying such close attention to channel 16's promos," she laughed as she strode onto our living room. "Of course you can call me Helen. We are going to be neighbors for a while."

"This is like a dream for me Helen," I gushed. "I have followed your career for years. You were very good on CNN and you did a great job covering that tsunami last year for Fox! I am having some difficulty with the fact that as great as you look on TV, you are way more beautiful in person! I never would have believed it possible."

"You are very flattering, Mr... ?"

"Stanton, Mike Stanton," I answered. "I am babbling like an idiot and never told you my name! I apologize, Helen. I'm just really; really surprised that Helen Hamilton rang my doorbell. No one will ever believe this. Heck, I hardly believe it!"

Then I remembered my digital camera, in the closet, just a few feet from where I stood. I quickly retrieved it held it up as a sheepish grin washed over my face.

"Before I wake up or you disappear in a puff of smoke or something, I'd very much appreciate you permitting me to get a picture of you, with me. Would you allow me that honor?" I pleaded.

"Wow, you must be my best fan!" laughed the woman of my dreams. "I'd be delighted to accommodate you, Mike."

I stepped close to her and held the camera at arm's length. She was only a couple inches shorter than my five foot eleven and as I leaned toward her I slid my other arm around her shoulder.

"I'm going to press the button, so smile!" I managed though my shit-eating grin.

As I pressed the shutter, she mover her cheek in against mine and smiled! I thought I was in heaven and began to thank her again.

"Mike, it's no big deal. We are going to be neighbors, so we'll see each other from time to time. You can get more pictures if you like. I only ask you never post them on the web, sell, or give any away to any media without me seeing the picture and approving it first. I always have to watch my image," she admitted.

"I know I am pushing my luck, Helen, but would you be willing to sign one of your pictures in Playboy for me? I can have it here in a minute!"

"I might have known you would have that issue, Mike! That was ten years ago and I was younger, firmer, and dumber than I am now. At least I hope I'm smarter now. I was definitely younger and firmer!" she chuckled.

"Is that an affirmative?" I cautiously asked.

"I have mixed feelings about that whole thing, Mike. I don't know if it hurt, or helped, my career. Sometimes I feel that I'm not taken seriously because I posed nude. Other times I think I would still be a weather girl in Binghamton if I hadn't," Helen revealed. "Let me think about it. You should know this. I have flatly refused anyone else that has asked me to sign those pictures for the last eight years. At least you still have a chance."

"I understand totally and hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I really have followed your career. You are the reason I watched CNN and then switched to Fox. This is so cool having you for a neighbor!" I blurted.

"I have to go back and show the movers where to put everything, Mike, but it was really a treat meeting you. We will try to be good neighbors and respect your privacy at the same time," promised Helen.

"Don't ever worry about that!" I replied. "Invade our privacy anytime. It has been pretty boring around here lately. My wife, Sherry, will be sorry she missed meeting you. Heck, she won't even believe that I met you!"

I loaded the picture of Helen and me on my computer and printed a couple copies. Then I stuck one picture on the refrigerator, like a kid would do, and put the other one on the coffee table in the living room. Sherry, my wife of 22 years, would be home from her mother's soon and I couldn't wait to see her reaction to the picture. I could barely contain myself as I waited.

I heard her pull into the garage and pretended to be busy on my computer. I wanted her to see one of the pictures and then ask me about it. I waited about ten minutes and never heard a peep, so I went looking for her.

I found Sherry in the kitchen having a soda and reading the Sunday paper. She had to get the soda from the frig, so she must have seen the picture! I mulled that over, trying to determine the reason for her lack of interest.

"Hey, Sweetie, I was wondering where you were," stated Helen as she flipped through the ads. "How was your day?"

"Do you mean beside having Helen Hamilton stop in for a few minutes?" I asked sarcastically.

"I saw that picture, Honey," Sherry chuckled. "You are getting pretty good with PhotoShop. It looks real. I know how you have a thing for her. Remember how you'd show me her old Playboy spread the first five or six times you saw her on CNN? She's your walking wet dream."

"I didn't doctor that picture, Sherry! She stopped in today!" I replied.

"I'm sure she did," replied Sherry in a condescending voice. "Tell you what, Mike. Let's make a deal. If you ever get the chance to get into Helen Hamilton's panties, I won't complain. In fact, I will be quite proud of you. I certainly couldn't blame you. She is a beautiful woman."

""Well, gee! I really do appreciate that attitude, Sherry," I retorted. "I'll start working on that right away!"

"By the same token," continued Sherry, "I expect you to not stand in my way with her hunk of a husband, Lance Edwards, if I ever get the chance to get him into bed. He still looks as hard and hot as he did when he played for the Phillies. I know you would be proud of me if he thought I was worth his effort."

"I'm not sure about that deal, Sherry. I can see where you could get that jock to bang you a lot easier than I would be able to seduce Helen Hamilton," I worried.

"Okay, Mr. Fantasy Lover, how about we limit it to blowjobs?" laughed Sherry. "If you can get Helen Hamilton to blow you, anyplace you choose, I won't stand in your way. If I get the chance to blow Old Lance, you don't stop me and you never complain about it, or hold it over me, or try to divorce me."

"What the hell are you talking about, Sherry?" I demanded. "I've never been able get you to suck my cock. Why the fuck would I go along with you blowing that has-been?"

"You're getting awfully fired up over this fantasy, aren't you?" Sherry chuckled. "It seems like a fair deal to me. One, or possibly both of us, experience our first blowjobs with two of the most beautiful people in the world. The only difference is that I will be giving and you will be receiving, or would you like to have a crack at Lance, too?"

"You know better than that! I didn't even like him when he played for the Phillies!" I growled. "It's still a lot easier for you to get him to let you blow him than it could ever be for me to somehow get Helen to suck my cock. In 22 years I haven't been able to get my own wife to do it, for Christ's sake!"

Sherry was laughing heartily at my indignation. Tears were starting to run down her cheeks.

"That's the best offer I'm going to make, Mike," she croaked between bouts of laughter. "Take it or leave it."

"Goddamn it! I'll take it, but don't bitch when you see Helen Hamilton sucking me off! One other thing, don't suck that asshole's cock when I'm around to see it!" I snarled.

"That sounds fair enough! I guess we have a deal then," Sherry struggled to tell me as the tears of laughter ran down her face. "Now let's discuss Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!"

"No more damn deals!" I insisted. "You'll be blowing every goddamn guy in the country before long and I'll be left with Rosie Palm. Something about this really pisses me off! It's only the thought of a blowjob from Helen Hamilton that got me to go against my better judgment and agree to this."

I turned and stalked out of the room as Sherry roared in mirth. This was a joke to her, but he who laughs last...

I never said another word about our famous neighbors. Until Sherry had mentioned it, I had forgotten that Helen had married Lance Edwards a few years back. He had been a mediocre third baseman for several years with the Philadelphia Phillies. His lifetime average was .241 and he had fewer than a hundred homers in his career. It was safe to say he would not make the Hall of Fame, nor would he cause Phillie fans forget Mike Schmitt.

Monday evening, I turned on channel 16 a few minutes before the six o'clock news. I had to see Helen's first night as the anchor, even if it was unlikely that I would ever get a blowjob from her.

Sherry came in from the kitchen and sat next to me.

"I'll finish making dinner when I see who makes up the new cast of characters on 16," she told me as she put her feet up. "I've never seen a station keep the identity of their new anchor such a secret, but it seems to have worked. Everyone at work today was saying how they were going to watch tonight, just out of curiosity."

Just then Helen appeared on the screen, and she looked great! Sherry gasped and then gave another little sound when that fucker, Lance Edwards, was introduced as the new sports director.

"Holy shit, Mike! They will have to live someplace within driving distance of the station. We could actually meet him!" grinned Sherry.

"Him?" I repeated and then said it again. "Him? As you know, they are married and we will see both of them. You'll probably have calluses on your knees within a few weeks."

"Mike, are you worried about that dumb agreement we made last night?" grinned Sherry. "Like you said yesterday, I don't suck cock, so let's just cancel it. Besides, it is a big area and it isn't very likely we'll ever meet them."

"Bullshit! We made a deal. You thought it was funny at the time, but I want that blowjob!" I replied steadfastly. "Unless of course you want to blow me. Then I'd be willing to call it even."

Sherry dropped to her knees and clasped her hands together as she begged, "Please feed me your big cock and make me the cocksucker you always wanted me to be. I'm tired of being a reasonable, normal, respectable wife and mother. Suddenly, I have the urge to be a cock-sucking slut. I can't live another minute without tasting your cum as it slides down my throat!"

Sherry was good! For a minute I thought she was serious. Then she jumped up laughing and headed for the kitchen. I was already hard from watching Helen on the screen and could have given Sherry her wish in a matter of seconds, if it had only been her real wish! I cursed under my breath and shifted all my concentration to the incredible beauty on TV. I had never seen a more desirable woman.

Because they worked evenings, it wasn't until the next weekend that Sherry discovered that Helen Hamilton and Lance Edwards lived next door to us. We had purchased our house and thirty acres 12 years ago. The only neighbor we had within half a mile was the house Helen and Lance were living in.

We had always wanted to buy that property, too. For all the property we had, the two houses were only about fifty feet apart. Our ranch house had been built by the daughter and son-in-law of the couple used to own the big farmhouse, which was now inhabited by Helen and Lance. Over the years, and after the death of the parents, the two properties had been split. Each had about thirty acres, but the two houses were close together. The last people that owned the farmhouse had restored it to the original splendor of the era. Then they added a paved driveway, and an in-ground pool.

It made our property more valuable, but priced the other home way out of our price range. We were resigned to having no control over who lived next to us. If we could have bought it, we might have rented it until one of our two grown kids showed some interest in being close to their parents. It was not to be, however. Both kids were in other states working, and neither was married. They had no interest in living back in the "boonies".

Just as I came in the door Saturday, after a trip to The Home Depot, Sherry started in on me.

"Mike! Guess who's living in the Turner house!" she asked excitedly.

"Helen Hamilton and Lanced Boil," I replied calmly.

"You already knew it, you bastard!" yelled Sherry. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Maybe I was hoping to get my blowjob before you knew what the hell was going on," I deadpanned. "Or maybe I was trying to tell you last Sunday when I showed you the picture of Helen and me. You didn't seem to believe it then, so I decided to wait and let you find out on your own."

"You can be a real asshole sometimes, Mike. How was I to know that picture was real? Shit! Was she in our house? It wasn't even clean! She must think I am the world's biggest slob!" moaned Sherry.

"Yeah, she got her knees pretty dirty when she blew me, but other than that, it wasn't too bad."

"Mike! You have to get out of your fantasy world! We have famous neighbors and you can't embarrass me by asking her for a blowjob, or even letting her know you have these weird fantasies. Promise me you will not let her know what a pervert you are, please?" begged Sherry.

"Helen would be surprised if there was a man that didn't have wet dreams thinking about her, Sherry. Every man she meets wants her. That's how it is. I will try to be suave and sophisticated while doing my best to get a little oral from her," I promised.

"I guess that's as much as I can hope for from you, Mike. You'd better be civil to Lance, too. We don't want them to think poorly of us," added Sherry.

"When that bastard looks down and sees you attached to his cock, he'll think the world of you, don't worry! I'm the one whose feelings you have to be concerned about."

Sherry shook her head as she turned toward the kitchen.

"I have never known such a one track mind in my life! It's a wonder you aren't in jail or something," she muttered.

Sunday was a beautiful warm September day. Sherry and I were discussing visiting her parents when the doorbell rang. Sherry looked surprised as she stood to answer the door. Very seldom did we get company before noon on Sunday.

"Lance Edwards!" gasped Sherry. "Helen Hamilton, too! Please come in! I'm Sherry Stanton. I guess you already met my husband, Mike?"

I had quickly stood and gone into the living room when I heard Sherry announce Lance's name. No sense making it too easy for that bastard to get Sherry on her knees!

"Hello, Sherry. I met Mike a week ago, but Lance didn't have the pleasure," replied Helen. "Mike, this is my husband, Lance."

I shook hands and smiled at the man I disliked on so many levels. If he had fielded that groundball cleanly in September of 1992 and turned a double play, the Phillies could have won the division. Then there was the fact that he was married to, and sleeping with, my fantasy woman. Finally, the fact that my sweet, innocent wife expressed the desire to make him the recipient of her first, and probably only, blowjob was enough to make me go postal! It wasn't enough he could have Helen Hamilton any time he wanted! He could have my wife, too, probably as easily as he had Helen. Man! I disliked the prick!

"How're you doing, Mike?" grinned Lance as he turned to Sherry. He hugged her and actually lifted her off her feet. By the time he put her back down, Sherry was flushed a bright red.

"We don't want to intrude," began Helen, "but it is a gorgeous day and Lance and I would be delighted if you would join us for a little barbecue this afternoon and then a swim in the pool. I'm sure you know it is heated and we would love to get to know you both better."

"Well, ah... thanks, Helen, but we..." stumbled Sherry as she tried to duck the invitation.

"Would be delighted to come over!" I finished Sherry's sentence. "We'll be there around two?"

"Excellent!" beamed Helen as she and Lance turned to leave. "We'll expect you then. You don't have to bring anything, unless of course you choose to wear swimsuits."

"We always do for the first swim with new neighbors," I laughed. "It takes us a little while to really loosen up."

After she had closed the door and made certain Helen and Lance were out of hearing, Sherry gave me both barrels.

"What the hell are you doing?" she raged. "You know I wanted to drop a little weight before I went out in a swimsuit! How am I going to get out of this, Mr. Big Mouth?"

"That was 2 years ago, Sherry. We finished the basement and have every conceivable piece of exercise equipment down there. How many times have you used any of it?" I asked.

"That isn't the point, Mike. You could see I was trying to decline that invitation and you jumped in and accepted it," fumed Sherry.

"In case you haven't thought of it, I'm going to be in a swimsuit next to that goddamn human hunk. How do you think I'll look next to him, Sweetheart?" I snapped back. "Do you think you'll be able to tell us apart?"

"Well, smart-ass, let me put it this way," Sherry suddenly grinned. "You can bet I won't be blowing you by mistake!"

I was pissed for a second. Then I noticed her smile and realized Sherry was jerking my chain. I had to laugh, too.

"You little cocksucker!" I exclaimed. "I'm going to top you off before we go visit Lance, just to cool off your over active libido."

Sherry laughed and ran for the bedroom. As she peeled off her clothes and slid under the covers, she gave me an evil grin.

"Darling, as you know, I'm not a cocksucker, so don't call me one; not yet."

Now I was really fired up! I yanked the covers off Sherry, ate her to one orgasm and then fucked her to another. Finally, we rested together, feeling very relaxed.

"Sometimes, I do like your sick, overly active imagination, Mike," smiled Sherry. "It sure makes for some great sex. You were terrific just now. Did you imagine it was Helen Hamilton you were with instead of me?"

"Not at all, Sweetheart. Those fantasies are for the times I'm alone and watching her on TV or looking at her old Playboy spread. When I am with you, I can't imagine anything better," I replied honestly.

"Wow, that was the right answer, Mike!" Sherry gushed as she kissed me hard on the lips. Then she swung away from me and got on her hands and knees.

"If you are up to it, Lover, and if you see anything you like, you are welcome to it," she whispered.

I never attended Yale Business School, but I knew a little about probabilities. The odds of getting such an offer from Sherry while sober, and before noon, were about equal to my chances of winning the Power Ball. I grabbed her hips and did my damnedest!

Sherry managed to look pretty good in a modest one-piece suit that afternoon. Over the years and after giving birth to our two kids, she had gained a few pounds, but for the most part, all in the right places. I tried to keep my stomach sucked in when ever I thought about it. Being around Lance made me think of it a lot. His abs looked liked steel ropes and he wasn't averse to showing them off. I had to admit, for a guy in his early forties, he was a remarkable physical specimen.

Helen opted for a one-piece suit as well, but it was made for her voluptuous figure. It was low in front and I had difficulty keeping my eyes off her chest. I really thought I was being quite furtive in my peeks at those wonderful mounds. At home that evening, I discovered I was mistaken.

"Could you have stared at Helen's tits any more, Mike?" demanded Sherry as soon as we got home. "I was afraid you were going to burn a hole through her suit and her nipples would pop out."

"I think they were popping out, almost as far as my eyeballs," I answered. "I guess old Lance wasn't in danger of you burning a hole through to his cock, was he?"

"Well, if looking would do it, he'd have been scorched by now," grinned Sherry. "Did you see the size of the lump in his suit? Do you think he had a few baseballs in there?"

"It looked more like a bat to me, maybe a 33 with a thick handle," I suggested. He could beat a medium size animal to death with it."

"Yeah, or choke someone to death. I wonder how Helen handles him? She isn't that big, except for her tits, of course," Sherry chuckled.

That was the beginning of our friendship with Lance and Helen. We would get together every couple weeks for an evening. Helen and Lance had weekends off, so we occasionally went out to dinner together. It became apparent to me that Lance wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but ladies never seemed to be interested in a debate with him. Women of all ages fawned over him. He wasn't as vain as I would have been; if I had been a pro ball player, a TV personality, and built like a Greek God.

The other thing that began the day Sherry and I were invited to the barbecue was our simultaneous decision to put our home gym to use. Sherry and I never actually discussed it, but out thoughts must have been the same. We were only a couple years older than Lance and Helen. If we were going to hang with them, we both wanted to look a lot better. Slowly, we began to slim down, as well as turn fat into muscle.

Sherry began to dress more provocatively. We both had our hair styled after having essentially the same look since we were first married. In short, our lives seemed to have improved.

Sherry became more aggressive in the bedroom, too. She began keeping candles in the room and lighting them before she initiated sex. She had always insisted the room be dark. I welcomed the change in the lighting, and in her attitude. Then one night, I noticed the curtains were gone; completely removed from the bedroom window. Sherry said they were dirty and she had sent them to the cleaners.

Sherry had always kept the curtains pulled tightly and I had spent a lot of energy in talking her out of additional blinds. The bedroom window was more like a picture window and she had always been paranoid about someone watching us. Years ago, I had built a privacy fence between our home and the old Turner house. From our bedroom, we could see the roof and one attic window of that house. The fence prevented any further view of them, or more importantly, of us.

I decided that since Sherry was feeling more confident with her improved body, she wanted me to see her when we made love. The curtain disappearing was harder to figure out, but the sex was good and pretty frequent, so I never asked any probing questions. I still wasn't getting blown, but I was getting laid just about every way Sherry could imagine. She never used to want to be on top, but lately she was riding me like a cowgirl! Sometimes she'd face me and pull my hands to her tits to play with them while she bounced on my cock, and other times she would face the mirror that was on the wall at the foot of our bed, giving me a great view of her sweet ass as she rode my erection. I hadn't been able to decide which method I preferred.

Then in February, channel 16 sent Lance to cover the Super Bowl in Jacksonville. He was sending inane reports back every night. Helen called on the Saturday before the big game and asked me if I could bring my tools and go over to her house. Her shower was not working properly.

Helen met me at the door and thanked me coming so quickly and then took me upstairs to the master bedroom and into the bathroom. The phone rang and she went back downstairs to answer it. It took all of ten seconds to determine the drain was plugged. I unscrewed the cover and saw a wad of hair and who knows what else way down in the drain. I could still hear Helen on the phone so I looked around for a wire hangar.

Sounds simple, but it seemed she had only plastic hangars in her closet. Lance's was the same, so I stepped into the hall and looked around. That was when I saw the attic stairs. It seemed likely there would be some wire hangars up there, so I ascended the steps. I was stunned when I opened the door to discover a well-furnished little office. It was complete with a phone, a computer, a small refrigerator, and a pair of binoculars!

My heart was in my mouth as I stepped up to the small window and looked out. My eyes were drawn to my bedroom window immediately. I watched as Sherry strolled out of our master bathroom and into the bedroom, completely naked! The view was unimpeded. Then I raised the binoculars and I was able to see the birthmark on her left ass cheek! The mirror on the wall enabled me to see whatever was hidden from view directly through the window.

I was in a quandary. Should I demand an explanation from Helen? But she wasn't the one that suddenly removed the curtain. That was Sherry's doing. There was more to this situation than met the eye, so I decided to keep my mouth shut, do some investigating, and get back downstairs to the bathroom before Helen caught me in the voyeur room.

I was trying to pull the crap out of the drain with my needle nose pliers when Helen came into the room.

"Wow, Mike! I didn't realize that stuff was in the drain," she apologized. "Would you like a wire hanger or something?"

I don't know why women can always find anything they want, but she produced a hangar in ten seconds and the job was done within a minute.

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Consensual / Romantic / Heterosexual / Humor / Oral Sex /