Edited by 'LadyCibelle' and 'Techsan'
The older we get the more we think about the end of our life. I guess we should be glad we made it this far. Here I was contemplating my past and I was only fifty-three, thinking about by life now, all the rights and wrongs of my past and where do I go from here.
My wife of thirty-three years passed on last month. I had always wanted to go first but God didn't honor that request. She went home to be with her maker. There is no doubt about that. She was one wonderful woman. She left behind four wonderful kids and nine grandchildren who are all really going to miss her. At least she passed on her knowledge of cooking and all that special female knowledge stuff on to her daughters.
The kids - I call them kids even though they are all in their late twenties and early thirties - are worried about me. Damn, time flies; I remember when they were all just kids and now they have families of their own.
They stop by and it's, "Dad, this and, dad, that. Who's going to cook for you? Who's going to clean this house? This house is too big for you; maybe you should get a small apartment. Dad, at least get someone to help you out."
I knew they all meant well but it was driving me bananas. I'm a grown man; I'm very capable of taking care of myself. There is so much they don't know about their mom's and my life. We never told them everything because they would want to get involved in our disputes and that wouldn't settle anything.
When we first married, we had the greatest love life. We made it everywhere - every room of the house, in the car, outside in the park, in the pool, even once in an elevator. It was great being young. Of course as the kids were born and the responsibilities mounted, we did it a lot less. We still did it pretty often but stayed pretty much in the bedroom while the kids were sleeping.
She didn't care much for oral sex; she said she didn't like giving it. I could count on both hands how many times she tried giving it in our thirty-plus years of marriage. She did like receiving it and the last time I did it for her was a week before she passed. God, I loved eating her out. I could count on one hand the number of pussies I ate in my lifetime. Her's was one I actually enjoyed doing. Maybe because she was my wife, maybe because eating her out turned her on so much and I knew it would end up as a good fuck. I don't care what the reason was as long as we both enjoyed it.
To the best of my knowledge she had never had sex with another man. I say "had sex" with her because I know men had seen her naked. She never knew it though or at least I don't think she knew. I'll explain it a little later but she never had any affairs that I know of. Right to the end she told me she had been true to me. She never lied to me about anything that I knew of, so I believe she told me the truth about the sex also.
I wasn't as loyal to her. I got married at eighteen; she was nineteen at the time. I remember the day she gave me her cherry. It was about six months before we got married. Once we started having sex we couldn't stop. Sex was our drug. Every time we got together we knew we were going to do it. She was my first also. Unfortunately I strayed a few times.
I know it wasn't right but I did it anyway. The first time I strayed I promised myself, never again. I had all I needed at home, but again opportunity knocked and I strayed again. This happened a good half a dozen times throughout my life. Each time it got easier to stray. The funny thing was, none of them were as good as my wife - I mean, none of them!
The last time I strayed was about eight years ago. I made the mistake of going back for seconds and thirds and it became an affair. I didn't love her; it was just sex with another female other than my wife. I got caught, my wife followed me and waited till I was in this woman's pussy and than walked in on us. The shit hit the fan. Needless to say the affair was over, and I was wondering if my marriage would follow the same fate.
We argued and fought about it for weeks. She, my wife Carol, didn't want me in her bed anymore. I put a bed down in our basement and slept down there. We just told the kids that I woke up during the night and was always disturbing their mother so I was going to try and sleep downstairs. I don't know if they believed it but knew better than to question it.
Eventually when the kids got older and as they went out on their own I made a bedroom upstairs. Carol and I never shared the same room again. There were nights that I went in and we had sex but I usually ended up back in my room. As I said we had sex, but Carol no longer put love into it. We started doing it less and less. She did however climax almost every time.
I don't blame her; she could have divorced me and ended our marriage and that could have destroyed our family. We were lucky if we did it once every two or three months after the affair. There were periods I remembered going over six months. Around holidays and special occasions is when we made it. I think the alcohol loosened her up on those occasions.
An example might be at a wedding; she would get drunk and horny and I might do her in another room. Usually I would start fingering her and when she got wet I would lead her into a side room and start eating her out. God, how she loved it and I loved it too. Once she got into the throes of passion I would lift up her dress and start fucking her. I didn't care who saw us anymore. I know guys walked by and would stand there and watch us. My wife's legs were spread wide open while I pumped my cum into her. After taking her home we would do it again, but the next morning she would never even talk about
To this day I don't know if she had known that I let guys look at her pussy or not. She never mentioned it and I sure wasn't ever going to bring it up. She might have been too wasted to know; I'm really not sure. Of course there is a chance that she knew we were being watched but also knew I was a jealous husband and would never let anyone get close to her. I do have to say that other men seeing my naked wife can be a turn-on as long as they do nothing but look from a distance. I had a couple of guys say something about my wife's ass and I had to hurt them. They never mentioned it to me again.
God, how I miss her. I even miss our arguments. No matter what we argued about she always brought up the affairs. That's one punishment I knew I would have to endure till death do us part.
All but one of my kids and their families lived at least an hour or more away. Someone called me about every day to find out how I was doing. I always said the same thing. "I'm doing fine. Yes, I miss your mother but we had thirty-three wonderful years together. I'll always remember them."
My son, Gary, said he talked with the others and they thought that if I was going to stay at my place that I at least needed a housekeeper or someone to stop by and make sure everything would be fine. I finally told them I would look into it.
I decide to write an ad asking for a housekeeper and run it in the local newspaper. Someone to do chores and maybe cook if they were able. My Carol was a great cook and if I couldn't have good eats, I would just go to the restaurant.
I had just retired three months before Carol's death. Our plant was moving out and offered early retirement to the older employees and, with over thirty years in, I took it. I was hoping Carol and I might travel or do things together. So now with Carol gone I had a lot of free time on my hands. I spent a lot of time reading stories on the Internet. I must be way older than I thought. I couldn't believe some of the stuff I was reading. Pissing on one another, ass fucking. Damn, I tried it a few times with Carol and she didn't like it and it hurt my dick. I'd take a hot pussy instead any day. Two women together - always thought that might be fun to watch but what would I do? I guess I'm supposed to watch them and jack-off. Hell, I could stay home and masturbate and it wouldn't cost me a dime. Then I read the gay stories or fucking my mom stories. To each his own but they weren't my cup of tea.
Wife swapping - not my bag either; cheating wives - I don't like wimps. Shoot the mother fucker if he's messing with your wife; that's my motto.
Thinking about masturbation, I have to tell you that I've been doing it for many, many years. It was a good sexual release since I didn't want to cheat on Carol. After the last affair, I needed to do something for release since Carol and I didn't do it as often. She caught me doing it one time and told me I was a pervert. I told her the truth, that if she didn't want to have sex with me and I didn't want to cheat on her that masturbation was my only other release. After that little talk, she seemed to have sex with me more often. She never received a complaint from me. Anytime she wanted it, I was available.
Anyway, I put an ad in the local paper asking about a housekeeper. I probably had twenty women and even a few guys apply for the job. I had about fifty phone calls but only about twenty that I had show up for an interview. I never gave any thought to what I wanted the housekeeper to look like. Believe me, I had every size, shape, color and age woman show up. I narrowed it down to three woman. One was in her forties and the other two didn't tell me their age, only that they were mature. All three could cook as well as clean, one even said she did windows. What's so hard about cleaning windows? I was the one who cleaned ours anyway. Never could understand that one.
.... There is more of this story ...