Chapter 7

Our first date, was to be on neutral territory, a quiet Italian restaurant near work. Being a Monday, it turned out quieter than ever, in fact we were the only two in the place all evening. This meant that we got special attention, not only from the old lady serving, but also from her chef husband Tino, who kept coming through and talking to us. In fact, after a thoroughly enjoyable meal, Tino's special tagliatelle, they both joined us for a glass of Pinot Grigio and an hour of very personal, yet inoffensive, questioning. As we prepared to leave, Tino's wife, Olivia, pulled me to one side and told me quietly in strongly accented English. "Look after that one, you have someone very special there!"

Partly for Terry's sake; I did not want her thinking I was like her previous men, but also for my own, I was still very nervous about the idea of being with another woman, I had ordered two taxis. We walked hand in hand to greet them, the only bit of intimacy that took place. I received a chaste kiss as thank you, and we went our separate ways.

During my journey home, I replayed the evening. My date, and that still sounded odd to me, had arrived a few minutes late, dressed very demurely in a simple black skirt and white blouse. We talked initially about the previous week and all its oddities, often repeating, almost exactly, parts of our Saturday's conversation. As we relaxed, something helped by our attentive hosts, we discussed common acquaintances, which were exclusively work colleagues, before eventually talking about each other, our fears and desires. Looking back I also wonder at Olivia, she had either incredible hearing or impeccable timing, as she never seemed to arrive at an inopportune moment.

A major desire of my own was exposed during that evening's conversation. As I had not been interested in women since my wife's death, I had given little thought to what I wanted out of any future relationship; it, therefore, took a while for me to explain what I wanted and needed to myself, let alone to Teresa.

I had been loved by a woman that I loved. It sounds so simple but I knew that I could never settle for less, even if that meant lifelong solitude. I had known friends of my youth, who had met lovely girls, got engaged, then married, not because there was a reason to, but because there was no reason not to. Through no skill on my part, I had been lucky; I knew I wanted to spend my life with Jane from very early on, and spent much of the next twenty-five years amazed that she felt the same.

Terry said initially, that she just wanted to sample love, but after hearing my bloated explanation of my own desire, agreed that mutual love is what she craved too. To say that she confused sex with love would be wrong; it was that in the absence of one she settled for the physical contact of the other.