Chapter 2

Forny Perfect awoke.

She had dozed off during the hyper jump. Michael Slunk was beside her. He was still asleep.

Forny could hear the sound of footsteps and talking in the distance.

Forny rolled off the bunk and stood up.

She shook Michael gently.

"Wake up. Wake up," Forny said quietly.

"Huh..." said Michael sleepily. "What!" he said, startled to see Forny. He rose up abruptly.

"Owwwww!" he cried when his head hit the bunk above him.

"Shhhhhh!" Forny said insistently, as he collapsed back down on the bunk and held his head. He now had a rather nice contusion.

Michael's brain started to work at this moment. Perhaps it was the rush of blood to his forehead from hitting it on the metal bar under the bunk. He knew something was wrong.

Michael sat up and put his feet on the floor. This was not a sunshine day in the middle of an alley where he and Forny just powerfully 69'd each other. This was a dimly lit room. The walls were metallic and curved cylindrically. There were rows and rows of 3-high sleeping bunks that reminded him of a military barracks.

Forny was good at explaining away a lot of the weird things he experienced when he was around her, such as when she pulled that live cat out of his garbage disposal. She had said the disposal looked like a mouth that needed to eat pussy and she thought cats were surrogate vaginas that were created by people. She then said she was from Kentucky. That was a more plausible explanation. He was especially interested to see how she would explain this.

"We're not in the alley, are we?" Michael asked, afraid of what he might hear.

Forny was amazed at how often humans would rather talk about the weather or state the very, very obvious or worse yet, watch CNN, rather than talk about sex.

"No, Michael," Forny replied.

Unfortunately, that was the answer Michael was afraid of. Now he would be compelled to get a rational explanation. That could be next to impossible with Forny.

Michael was about to ask the reasonable question of "where are we?" when he saw the pictures on the walls. They were all pictures of erect dicks.

"Forny, be honest with me," Michael said, as his little brain tried to put the pieces together.

"Have I been asleep and they've built a Warehouse Porn Club store where my house was and that's where I live now?" Michael asked. "And where's my stuff?"

"No, Michael. We're on a spaceship," Forny responded.

A spaceship was not an answer Michael's brain had authorized him to consider. He liked his implausible answer much better.

"I'm sorry. I didn't get that," said Michael "It sounded like you said 'spaceship'".

"I did," replied Forny.

His brain still didn't quite get it, but it bludgeoned on.

"And just what are we doing on this spaceship?" said Michael.

"Hiding from the Vulvans," Forny replied.

Michael didn't know if he was to think of a woman's anatomy or a pointed-ear Star Trek character.

"And why are we hiding from the Vulvans?" Michael continued.

"This is their ship and they don't like people sneaking on to it."

The answers were coming to him maddeningly slow. Forny seemed extra opaque in his current experience with her.

"And why are we on their ship if they don't want us?" Michael forged ahead.

Forny knew she'd have to tell him, though something in her wanted him to just catch on as they went along.

"I saved our lives," Forny replied.

Again this was not the answer Michael thought he would hear. He didn't know what the right answer was but he'd know it when he heard it.

Michael thought Forny seemed a bit smug in her response.

"Saved from what?" Michael asked.

"Death," she replied.

Oh, that seemed like a good thing thought Michael.

Suddenly, Michael felt tired. Talking to Forny made him tired.

"Can I go home now?" Michael asked.

"No," she shook her head sadly, "It's been destroyed."

"What! They destroyed my house? Those assholes. I'm going to sue the city planning office!" Michael said.

"That's been destroyed too," Forny said.

"What?" said Michael, a little surprised. "I'll sue the Warehouse Porn Club then," Michael said.

"They're all destroyed," Forny responded.

"Huh?" said Michael, as his mind screeched to another halt and had to shift into another gear. He'd need an oil change soon.

"What do you mean?" Michael asked, wondering.

"The Earth has been destroyed," said Forny, forlornly.

"By who? Or what?" Michael asked as if the answer really mattered.

"The Vulvans," Forny answered

"The Vulvans!" Michael said, raising his voice.

"Shhh!" Forny said. "We don't want to be discovered. They destroyed the Earth so they can build a Sex Planet Warehouse."

"They destroyed the Earth to build a porn shop?" said Michael, incredulously.

"Well, there wasn't one out in this part of the universe," said Forny factually.

Michael's brain blew a gasket. He needed a major engine overhaul now.

"So that's why they have all the phallic pictures on the walls?" asked Michael.

"Those are..." Forny stopped. "Here this will explain."

Forny pulled a metallic cylindrical object out of her pussy. It started to immediately fold open into a flat panel screen. In a few seconds the device said, "Sex Guide ready."

"Michael, I'm not really a personal injury lawyer," Forny confessed.

"Oh, good," Michael said, obviously relieved to know she had a different profession. "What do you do?"

"I'm a reporter for the Sex Guide to the Universe." said Forny. "Here, you can look up the Vulvans in the Sex Guide."

Forny handed the Sex Guide to him.

Michael took it and looked at it incredulously. It was oddly dry. Forny's pussy juices were not on it.

On the cover in large red sensuous letters in a very erotic font were the words "FUCK ME".

"Vulvans," Michael said quietly and was surprised when the Sex Guide spoke back.

"Vulvans," the Sex Guide said. "The Vulvans are from the planet Vulva. The Vulvans are a strange sexual race. The female Vulvan pussy is unusually large while the male Vulvan dick is only one inch long when erect. Over Vulvan planetary history, this situation provided great sexual dissatisfaction for the females which led to strife between the sexes. The females eradicated all the males except for 200 who were forced to live in a penis colony to keep the race alive. Eventually cloning technology eliminated the need for males and the penis colony was destroyed along with all the Vulvan males. To commemorate the elimination of all males, the Vulvans make all their ships in the shape of a dick."