Chapter 6

When I got home there was one message on my machine, and it was Dianna.

"Hi Dean, it's 11:45 and you're not home. I'll bet you're out being a bad boy again. I thought I made enough promises to keep you close, but I guess not. Call me tomorrow so we can talk."

I knew if I confessed about Sharon I might lose Dianna forever. Her kid-free two weeks started the next Wednesday and I was really ready to show her I could give her 100%. I needed a couple days to end a couple relationships. Every time I thought about Dianna now I got excited, and not just sexually. She was a professional smart woman, she was more than stable, both mentally and financially, and was great looking. On top of all of that, she adored me. Behind the bedroom door she told me about, promised me, a total sexual relationship that she was anxious to take full part in. She was my age and even agreed with me politically. If for any reason this didn't work out, it wouldn't be from not trying. I just hoped I could smooth out my night "missing" and the few days I needed to let a couple other women down easy.

I decided to call her right then, as soon as I showered.

"Good morning! You were looking for me late last night?"

"Yes, almost midnight and you weren't home. I thought you might be out scouting more 21 year olds for your stable." She answered curtly.

"No, nothing could be further from the truth. Don't assume anything." I mused, without really lying.

"After our night together I thought you might call the next day. I don't sleep with just anyone. I waited 11 months for the right guy. You made me feel like a tramp. Did I expect too much?"

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. It was not intentional. You know, you've been on my mind a lot lately. I mean seriously on my mind." I said trying to sway the conversation away from last night.

"Oh?"

"Yes, you've gotten under my skin a little, made me think about the future and I'm sure that I want to try to be with you. I think we make a good couple. We have a lot in common and we have a good time together. I mean, because of your daughter and all that I avoided getting in a sexual situation with you and we still had a great time, a lot of laughs and some serious talk. I consider myself well-read and on top of the news and there has been no subject that came up that you weren't as versed as me."

"Are you trying to tell me I'm not a bimbo?"

"If that's how you want to hear it, yes. I know couples that when they're home she is in front of the TV and he's either with her, glued to the set, or on the computer or in a shop or out with the boys."

"Well, you can count me out there. I'm no slave to the TV and if you want to go out, I'm going with you, plus with a child there are lots of things to do together. I'm a real hands-on Mom."

"That's the point I'm trying to make Dianna!"

"That's all good and I appreciate that you think of me in that way, but how do I stop you from tomcatting around?"

"Dianna, with all my faults I can tell you one thing, I'm honest and I don't cheat. Once I tell you that you are the only one, you can rest assured." I swore to her.

"When is that going to be Dean? I'm not waiting around for you. I'm not getting any younger and my child sees her father twice a year. She needs a man around as much as I and you're one I'd like her to know." Dianna said with a bit of desperation in her voice,

"Well, you're getting way ahead of me now. We have to find out if we are as compatible as we think way before we bring her in. I promised you I would give you all my attention the two weeks she's away. I'm breaking off my other relationships before then." I swore.

"Do I have to worry about "goodbye boinks"?" She asked smart-alecky.

"Just how shallow do you think I am? I'm not Sam Malone. Listen, I have to get to the store. Can I see you tonight?" I asked.

"I'll see if the girl next door has plans. She can sit and do her homework here once Missy gets to bed, so it will be after 8, OK? I'll call you at the pharmacy." Dianna said ending our call.

I finished getting ready for work and suddenly it hit me. Here was a woman I had been out with maybe 12 or 15 times over 6 or 8 weeks (and remarkably only been intimate with once) that I was considering a prime candidate for life partner, perhaps wife. Now by this time I had usually bedded down a woman quite a few times and if I hadn't, I would be scratching at her door. Dianna had been someone special who, little by little, had crept into my life. My conscience told me that last night I hadn't cheated on her, that I just sowed one of the last wild oats I may sow. My heart called me a cheating bastard and it hurt to be thought of that way, even with my own heart doing do. Had my one time of making love to Dianna been just that, making love?

God, I wanted to walk around all day today with a happy dick after fucking the ass, pussy and mouth of Sharon Smythe, my fantasy paramour. Instead I was living with some kind of guilt. If I ever really cheated on any woman that I had made a vow or commitment to, what would I do? I even thought about calling Dianna and confessing to my debauchery of the divorcee 15 years my senior.

"NO, DON'T DO THAT!" My heart screamed out to me. "As much as a lowlife as you are for drinking from that sinful chalice of lust, telling her would hurt her more than it would be worth. Just live with the thought of how cheating can feel."

The more I thought about it, my heart and ego had really soured on what I did with Sharon. I kept telling myself that I generously woke the sexual being within her and she would be ever grateful for my great deed. As I drove to work I came to terms with the fact that I really hadn't "cheated" on Dianna, but I did as I first thought, "betray" her. I could tell myself that the lustful thoughts about Sharon were there before I wanted the beautiful Dianna and it was all fair and square, BUT in my heart I learned a lesson on trust, and implied trust. If she came out and asked me if I was, in fact, "tomcatting around" I would have to tell the truth. That bothered me. Not the truth that bothered me, the fact that she would know would hurt her.

Had this woman, Dianna, really gotten hold of me that deeply, or was it all imagined. Did I let her into my heart over the course of a few dinners, a few movies, some drinks and dancing and one night of hot sex? Was the night we made love just the carrot and stick routine for her to gain control of the situation? I wondered if the fact that she withheld the oral aspect, my favorite aspect, of sex was the impetus for my sudden obsession for her. Once I finally tasted her deep sweetness and felt her mouth around me would I lose interest? NO! NO! NO! If I were that shallow I could never live with myself.

There was magnetism to Dianna that I had to explore. Her seduction of me wasn't as calculated as I might have expected, I forced myself to remember. She did give me the option of just screwing her and leaving. I remember her only words that had a plaintive sound to them, "If you just want to make me a notch on your belt I'll bend over the sofa and you can have at me. I need to feel a man inside me. How I accomplish that is up to you." I could have had at her while I looked down at her perfect ass, an option I would have taken at least 7 times out of 10 if it meant I got laid and cut all the strings of commitment at the same time.

No, this was more than infatuation, be it oral infatuation or any kind of sexual infatuation. I wanted to know this woman better. I was ready to jump off the diving board although I knew there were no exits between that board and the water.

My morning was busy at the pharmacy as I quickly got a half hour or more behind. My pharmacy assistant had called in sick and I got a second shifter from another store. She was Kim, a brunette little cutie under 5 feet, but just as bright and outgoing as you could imagine. She was being extra careful with her customers making double sure they understood what they were taking. She didn't know these new people (to her) and was protecting herself and the pharmacy. When Clarissa, her relief, came in at 3 o'clock Kim had worked 7 hours with no break and was flustered at the situation. I knew she had to drive to her regular store and begin a regular shift and I felt bad for her. She came to the side well of the platform with her timesheet and got my attention.