Part 1

It started when I was fourteen. It was summertime, a wonderful break from the drudgery of school. It was a summer of conflicts, gripping emotions, and growth, as I discovered my sexuality. I had two close friends, Rebecca and Shellie. We would sit in my room talking about things, especially boys and what we would like to do, what we thought it would be like when a boy kissed us, and other things as well. Of course, we talked of sex. We would wonder what that felt like. What would a boy's cock feel like? What would it feel like when he orgasmed? What would it feel like when a boy kissed us between the legs? So we were always a bit charged up.

My brother, Alex, was sixteen. Shellie and Rebecca had the hots for Alex. When he was home, they would always be slipping off to walk by him and say something, anything to get his attention. It really was annoying. After all, he was my pain-in-the-ass brother. Why did they get so gaga over him? It was beyond understanding. That changed one day.

The three of us were watching a movie in the den when Alex came in. He flopped into a chair and started watching.

"This movie sucks," he said.

"Shut up," I told him in my best snide voice.

Shellie looked at Alex with puppy dog eyes. "Why, Alex?"

"It's so stupid. Those aren't even real kisses," he said in his fake man-of-the-world way.

"Really?" Shellie said breathlessly.

I almost puked. She was giving him those eyes and saying just stupid things. I felt like screaming, 'He's just stupid Alex.'

But Shellie didn't blink an eye when Alex said, "Oh yeah. I can tell."

Shellie looked down as she said. "Gosh. I can't tell. Alex, maybe you could show me a real kiss so I could tell too."

Rebecca and I looked at each other, astonished that Shellie had actually said it. I mean, she just said it out loud. Alex looked stricken. He looked at me, his eyes wide and staring. I thought he was about to jump up and run from the room. I couldn't stand it anymore, "Shellie, he doesn't know how to kiss." Which I was sure was true. He may have kissed a couple girls but he never had a real girlfriend to learn how to really kiss.

That made Alex mad, "Do too, you little brat." He glanced at me, sneered, then at Shellie. "I'd love to show you a real kiss," sounding much bolder than I thought he should. "Now?" he asked, a little quaver in his voice.

Shellie nodded. Alex sat next to her on the floor. She was looking down until he sat by her. Then her head came up, open and inviting. He bent forward and their lips met, briefly, then pressed harder. I watched as their lips parted and danced and they melted together. They were French kissing. I looked at Rebecca; her mouth hung open and her eyes were glued to the spectacle of them kissing. I looked back; they were still kissing. It seemed to last forever. Finally, Alex pulled back. Shellie's face was soft and diffuse. "Thanks."

Rebecca got Alex's attention. "Would you kiss me too?" she asked.

"Sure," my brother, the twerp, answered. I was stunned. Rebecca too?

Rebecca bounced off the couch and was next to Alex in a flash. There he was between my two best friends, and me sitting on the couch with nothing to do but watch. He leaned forward and he and Rebecca were kissing. It lasted even longer. When they pulled back she had that same dreamy expression. It was going to make me ill.

Shellie tapped him on the shoulder. "I think I get it, maybe. Could we try it again?"

"Sure," he said happily, a huge smile on his face, as they melted together. I could tell from looking at Rebecca that she was going to ask for another kiss as well, her face was all alight. I stormed from the room and into the kitchen. I was so mad that I couldn't think of anything except how pissed I was at Alex, stealing my best friends. I leaned against the counter, my arms crossed, and fumed. I started banging cupboards and drawers.

Shellie came into the kitchen. "What's happening?"

"What's happening?" I nearly screamed. "You and Rebecca are making out with stupid Alex while I just sit there. What am I supposed to do?"

"We weren't making out. I was just having Alex show me what a real kiss feels like. God, it was just yesterday you were saying all how you want to get a real kiss. Don't get mad 'cuz Rebecca and me get to."

Rebecca showed up and that point. "Hey, wuz up. I could hear you over the TV."

Shellie turned to her, "Mindy's getting all you know 'cuz we had Alex show us how to kiss."

I was steamed, but didn't say anything, standing with my arms across my chest.

Rebecca laughed which didn't help my disposition. "She's just jealous. Too bad you can't kiss Alex. He was terrific. Come on Shellie. Come over to my house and we can talk about kissing. See you," she said as she headed for the door.

Shellie looked at me. "It's really cool, Mindy. Don't be mad at us. You'd do the same. See you tomorrow." She followed Rebecca.

'Too bad you can't kiss Alex, ' echoed in my mind. Oh yeah. Well, they can just stuff it. Kissing my brother. I could too if I wanted to. 'You'd do the same.' If I wanted to, I just don't want to. Alex was such a twerp. I couldn't believe that Shellie and Rebecca both kissed him. I was still mad and didn't have anyone to take it out on. I went back into the den. Alex was watching the TV with a big smile on his face.

I couldn't stand that look on his face. "God Alex. You happy?"

He looked at me then jabbed, "Yeah, I sure am. You? Oh yeah, you didn't get to kiss anybody."

I was so frustrated I started crying. Alex jumped off the couch and rushed over. "Mindy. You okay? Don't cry. We didn't do anything. Really."

"Yes you did. You kissed both my best friends. And I could see they were real kisses. You even used your tongue. Now both of them know about kissing and I've never had a real kiss."

"Mindy. Don't cry. It wasn't a big deal," Alex pleaded.

"Yes it was," I sniffled. "I thought we'd all learn at the same time. Now, they're all like, 'She's just jealous, ' and 'Too bad you can't kiss Alex.' What am I supposed to do?"

"I'd kiss you Mindy," he said.

"What?"

"Don't get mad. I'm just saying I'd kiss you if you wanted. Just so you'd know what it was like. I don't mean anything else, just a kiss," his voice tailing off into silence.

The only sound was the TV softly droning some insipid daytime show. We both sat, looking at each other, neither moving. I felt something strange in me that I didn't recognize. It made me unsure. I knew I wasn't supposed to kiss my brother, but watching my best friends kiss him had driven me to distraction. I guess because I didn't pull away and just kept looking up at Alex, he figured that I was saying yes.

He leaned down, just as he had for them, and our lips met. His lips pressed gently into mine, then he pressed a little harder, his lips guided mine open. His tongue pressed between my lips: touching, teasing. My tongue followed his, dancing and wrestling together. My whole body turned to sparks, my stomach was empty, then filled with butterflies, like the worst case of stage fright you ever had, but this felt wonderful, as jolts surged up and down me. Alex pulled back, looking deeply into my eyes, waiting.

"Oh God," was all that I could say.

Alex smiled. "Yeah. It's great isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said as his lips again found mine. This kiss was even better than the first one. My arms went around his neck as his enveloped me, pulling me against his hard chest. I could feel the pressure against my nipples, even through my bra. I hadn't noticed but they were erect and sensitive and the pressure sent more jolts of pleasure into my brain. Everything else disappeared except Alex and me kissing. I never wanted it to end, but it did.

As Alex pulled back that time, I looked into his eyes and they were full of desire, as I knew mine were. I felt the desire burning in my body and it scared me. I pulled away. "Yeah, thanks Alex. I guess that's how it feels." I looked down at the floor. I couldn't look at Alex.

Alex straightened, "Yeah. It doesn't mean anything Mindy. I mean, that we kissed."

I stared at him. How could he say it didn't mean anything? It meant everything, to me. Then I saw his face, pleading, and I knew he was trying to make me feel good. He was worried that I felt badly about our kissing. He didn't understand and I didn't have the words to explain it then. I agreed for lack of anything better, "Yeah."

"It was just practice," he said.

"Yeah," I said.

His eyes were still pleading. I didn't know for what though. They made me uneasy and I felt I had to escape. "I'm going to my room," I said as I fled.

"Okay," I heard forlornly behind me.

Alex and I could hardly look at each other that night. Mom asked about it and we both denied anything was wrong. She figured we had a fight and just wouldn't admit it. That night she told me to patch things up tomorrow or else she would have to do something. She didn't want us to behave badly towards each other. If she only knew.

The next morning I tried to behave as if nothing had happened. I smiled and talked about nothing important. Alex was surprised at first, then he fell in line with me doing just as I did. By the time Shellie and Rebecca showed up, Alex and I were acting like before it happened, on the surface. But I knew something was different inside me. I didn't understand what it was, but it was filling me, electric, like a lightning storm about to burst out over the desert and bring life to the seared landscape.

The three of us started watching a movie. Rebecca and Shellie kept looking around for Alex. He finally came in and slumped into a chair. We watched the movie in silence until the first kissing scene. Shellie turned to Alex, "What about those kisses?"

He said, "They look okay."

Rebecca asked Alex, "Like ours yesterday?" Alex looked straight at me, but didn't say a word.

Shellie looked daggers at Rebecca, then turned back to Alex. "I kinda liked it when you showed me how to kiss. Maybe you could show me some more. I mean, so I could tell when they are good kisses."

Alex turned red, then without a word, he fled to his room. I heard the door to his room slam behind him.

Shellie turned on Rebecca, "See what you did!"

Rebecca replied, "Me? You're the one that scared him off, asking to kiss him."

They argued back and forth. All I wanted to do was go see Alex. Finally, they had enough. Rebecca flounced out of the house, Shellie right behind giving each other the silent treatment. I closed the door and went to Alex's room. I knocked on his door. "Alex?" Nothing. "Alex, they're gone. Please talk to me."

I heard a snick and the door opened. Alex looked at me. I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say so I told him, "Sorry about Rebecca and Shellie."

"That's okay," he said.

"You want to finish watching the movie?"

He smiled, "Sure."

We watched the movie for a while but I wasn't really seeing it. I was thinking about what just happened. "How come you didn't kiss them?"

"I don't know," he said squirming on the couch.

"Please, I'd like to know."

He looked at me. I smiled, hoping that would encourage him. "I really don't know. I just didn't want to. It didn't feel right. Maybe because it made you mad yesterday. I don't like making you mad. I mean, unless it's just the two of us. Then I like it," he said teasing me.

I smiled before putting on my play frown. "Yeah, I like making you mad when it's just the two of us, twerp."

He laughed, "You're the twerp. I'm older than you."

"And uglier," I taunted.

Alex jumped off the couch towards me, "Take it back."

I fled around the chair yelling, "NO!" as he gave chase. Alex caught me by jumping the couch in a single bound as if he were Superman. As he came down he wrapped me in his arms and we tumbled to the floor, laughing. He pushed me back and straddled my hips holding my arms above my head. "Take it back."

"No," I said.

He pushed my hands together so that he could hold my wrists with one hand. He held his free hand where I could see it. "I'll tickle you if you don't."

I struggled, trying to get my hands free or bump him off my hips but he was larger and much stronger than I, having just gone through a growth spurt. He was already almost six feet tall and muscled from lifting weights for sports. I had no hope but I wouldn't give in. "No," I shouted.

"You asked for it," he said as his hand slowly dipped towards my side. It was awful and exciting seeing his hand move slowly down. I struggled again, his hand darted to my side and tickled. Oh God. It drove me crazy. I was laughing and thrashing about as he kept demanding, "Take it back. Take it back," to my repeated, "No's."

"Alex, stop, stop. I'm going to pee. Please, please. I'm going to pee," I screamed.

"I'm on top. I don't care," he said. "Take it back."

I started to worry that I really was going to pee. On the brink, I relented. "I take it back."

He stopped immediately. "So, I'm really handsome?"

"Yes, you're really handsome," I moaned in defeat.

"And you liked kissing me?" he asked.

My eyes flew wide open. He was still holding me but the pressure relaxed. He was looking into my eyes, a serious expression on his face. The game had suddenly changed. "Yes."

He leaned forward and stopped, his lips almost touching mine. He waited to see if I would say no. I closed my eyes and felt his lips touch mine; a sweet delirious warmth spread through my body. I felt Alex over me, his body pressed against mine, his hands holding mine, his chest rubbing over my suddenly sharp nipples, his groin pressing against my suddenly sensitive pussy, his lips pressed insistently against mine, forcing them open, then invading my body, seizing me, taking me. I loved it.

He pulled back. My eyes opened. Alex was looking at me, surprise on his face. "Mindy," he said.

"What?" I asked suddenly concerned by that look.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Why?"

"I wasn't playing. That was a real kiss," he said.

Quietly, "I know. I liked it." I had said it out loud. I had admitted it to Alex even before I had admitted it to myself. I had liked it. I had wanted it to happen again. I was happy Alex had kissed me, really kissed me again.

"You did?" he asked.

He released my hands and my arms went around him, holding him to me. "Yes. I liked it."

"I did too," he said quietly, almost reverently.

"I'd like it if you'd do it again," I said.

He leaned forward and we kissed again, as equal partners, both acknowledging that we meant what the kiss signified, openly and with love. I never had a better kiss, that first one when Alex and I expressed our love for each other.

He smiled and bent forward, our lips meeting again. This kiss was different, still loving but playful. As he pulled back I began to giggle. "I've loved you my whole life," I said.

"I've loved you since I was two," he replied.

The sheer ridiculousness of it made my giggling stronger. Alex felt the jiggling of my tummy in his gut, deep within, and he too began to laugh. The joy of being in love swept through us as the darkness of the past was swept out of us by our love of each other. Our laughter grew as he fell to my side. We laughed like new beings, born just this moment in some strange auto-genesis, coming to life together with no past or preconceptions. All of those past taboos and customs, the way we were supposed to believe and act, were washed away in that moment of glorious illumination.

We rolled back together, arms wrapping around each other, and holding each other. Not tight, not loose, just comforting, close. I knew then that Alex would be my lover. It was the way I knew it would be in all of my dreams. The man I loved being my lover, taking me across the threshold of womanhood. I wanted to have him completely, with the desperation of potential loss. I never wanted to lose him now that I had him. I wanted to be his. "Alex, let's go to my room."

His eyes searched mine before he agreed, "All right."

I led him, hand in hand, to my room. I pulled the shades, partly for privacy and partly to darken the room. The soft shadows filled it creating an air of mystery. I pulled the comforter from my bed and pulled back the blanket. Alex watched solemnly, aware of the moment and what it portended for us. "I love you," I said quietly.

"I love you. I... I don't know anything..." he stumbled turning a bit red from embarrassment.

I smiled disarmingly. "I don't either. There's no one I'd rather learn with. Let's teach each other."

He smiled. "What do we do?"

"I think we have to get undressed," I said smiling.

"I know that part."

"Then do it. I want to see you," I said hungrily.

He stood still for several moments and I wondered if he would. He pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it aside. His hands went to his waistband. He hesitated, looking at me. I nodded. He unsnapped the band and pushed his pants and underwear off in one long movement, standing like Adonis before me. His cock stood straight up, red and stiff, and very large I thought. His muscular body was like something from a romance novel: smooth skin and well defined muscles. I was in lust seeing him naked for me. I wanted to feel that body, his body cover mine and possess me.

He looked at me expectantly. I pulled my shirt off before reaching back and unhooking my bra. I was scared, scared that he wouldn't like me. My breasts were too small. I hadn't grown much there. I hesitated, what if they turned him off? His eyes were glued to the bra, waiting. I had to let it go. I did. I waited for the look in his eyes. They got wide and intense. "You're beautiful," he said.

"Really?"

"Oh yes, Mindy. I love them, you," he amended.

"It's okay if you love them as long as you love me best," I said.

Alex smiled, looking up at my face, "I do. The rest?" he asked pointing at my shorts.

As he had, I hesitated before pulling my shorts and panties off. But too soon, I was as naked as he. We stood gazing at each other. "Wow."

I lay back on my bed, and held out my hand to Alex, my brother and soon to be lover. He joined me.

"Mindy," he said, a hesitancy in his voice. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, unable to force the words out.

"I love you," he said as he leaned forward and kissed me. Suddenly, I was alive with desire again and the doubts vanished. His skin, hot and alive, pressed against mine. His chest rubbed against my straining nipples, sending jolts of pleasure straight down to my pussy, which flooded with desire. I could feel myself getting wet, wanting to feel something touch me down there.

Still kissing, Alex lifted his body and settled between my legs, which parted in greedy desire. I felt his hard throbbing cock pressing against me and I moaned. His cock rubbed against me, sending shivers through my body as it massaged my clitoris, then pressed back down until it found my opening. His cock was wet with my arousal as it pressed forward for the first time into me. I felt a stretching, then a sharp pain. I yelped.

Alex broke the kiss, looking at me in alarm, his cock barely in me, but enough that he had torn through my hymen. "You okay?"

I nodded, then forced a smile. "It hurt a little."

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop?"

I smiled inside. I liked that he had offered, knowing that neither of us could stop now. I wanted him all of the way in me. I wanted to know what it felt like to be a woman for my lover. "No. I want to be yours, completely. Go slow."

Alex pressed against me and I felt him opening me, filling me. I had no idea it would feel like this. He pulled back slightly and pressed again. I felt him deeper in me. And again, and again. Soon, he pressed a last time and I felt his body fully against mine, rubbing my clitoris. Sparks jumped from my pussy throughout my body. I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me. "I love you."

His face split into a wide smile. "I love you, sis."

"Make love to me," I said.

Alex, still smiling, said, "Your wish is my command."

He pulled back and I felt a great emptiness, before his cock plunged back into me, filling me with him as pleasure surged from my pussy into my whole being. Again and again Alex filled me, made me his, made love to me. It was a strange thing, so completely carnal, body against body and yet I seemed to be floating in bliss, spiritual. Alex began pounding into me, "Oh sis," he moaned. "OH GOD," he screamed. I felt him filling me with his cum. It was so profound, knowing I was his lover, he was mine. Again and again I felt his cock spasm inside me, until he collapsed onto me, breathing hard, really panting. I writhed under my new lover wishing it could go on forever.

"I love you," I moaned as I pulled him to me never wanting us to be separate again.

"That was our first time."

Part II

I was impatiently waiting for Alex to arrive. He was going to be home for the whole week and I was on Christmas break. I was almost obsessive thinking and dreaming, night and day, how we would spend the week, making love in each others arms as soon as Mom and Dad left for work. My pussy tingled at the thought of it. I lay in bed every night, vibrating with my need for Alex. He was coming to me today.

I hoped it would be even better than before. Before, Alex had to sneak off and buy condoms. Now, I was old enough to get the pill. Our doctor had examined me. I guess he realized I was no longer a virgin. He asked if I was sexually active and when I said I was he offered me the pill. I gladly accepted. It was going to be a surprise for Alex.

In the months that he had been gone I had worried every night. What would happen at college? He would be meeting pretty girls, college girls with big tits and cute figures. I couldn't compete with them. Would Alex come home and tell me he had found a girlfriend and that we couldn't be lovers anymore? I would die.

I spent hours deciding which clothes I would wear to the airport. I finally decided on a dress he had always liked. He once told me it was his favorite. I didn't think it was best on me, my breasts still hadn't developed like I'd like them to and the dress did nothing to help, but it was Alex's favorite.

Dad drove us to the airport and we waited at the gate for Alex. My nerves were jangling with desire and worry, the fear of not knowing which Alex would emerge from the plane. As the people started streaming from the skyway, I was nearly hyperventilating, and at the same time trying so very hard to hide my reactions from my parents. We had always tried to be so careful in front of them, never giving them reason to suspect that we were lovers, more than just a brother and sister.

I saw him. Mom started waving and Dad did as well. I worked so hard to stand still, to wait, incredibly hard, to let them say hello to Alex first. I just kept thinking, 'He'll be mine all week.' They hugged and laughed as I waited, nearly dying.

He turned to me, "Hi twerp."

I nearly flung myself into his arms, but held back and gave him a gentle hug, "Hi bigger twerp." He pulled back and we looked into each other's eyes. It was there, all the love between us. "I like the dress." He pulled his eyes away and said to the folks, "I hope the twerp is behaving while I'm gone."

I slapped his arm, as they would expect, "Hey. I always was better than you."

Mom and Dad laughed, "She's been an angel without you around to antagonize her."

Dad grabbed Alex's bag and lead us off.

Alex and I shared the back seat on the drive home. We could only share occasional looks, as Mom was looking back nearly the whole way home, asking Alex about everything at college.

That night I lay in bed, wanting so much to go to him. But we had always been very careful, even when we had sneaked into each others bed. I knew that our first time after so long would be vigorous, to say the least. I waited, wanting it to be perfect. I trembled over breakfast, impatient for Mom to leave for work. Finally, she left and we were alone again.

Alex looked at me over the table as he finished his breakfast. "Hi."

"Hi yourself," I responded.

"I wanted to come to your room last night. I've missed you so much," he said.

"Oh God. Me too. You still love me?" I asked, waiting to see if he had changed.

"Mindy, we promised always. I'll always love you," he said.

"But the girls at college..."

He cut me off, "... are a bunch of prima donnas and airheads. But the biggest reason I don't care about them is because I love you. You have my heart. There's no room for another girl."