Chapter 36: Men

The five men sat on the deck in Ned's back yard. The Broncos were playing an exhibition game on a small, portable television, and they half-watched it as they sat, sipping drinks in the late summer sunshine. The women had gone shopping, not wanting to compete with the Broncos for attention.

"How did you find this place, Ned?" Rudy asked. "So private, yet such a great location."

Ned popped another can of beer. "Took a while. I looked all over the county, and then some. Louisville, Longmont, Lyons, what have you. I wasn't in any rush; I had a place down in Martian Acres, and it was okay. And, I was having trouble with Francie."

"Martian Acres?" Sheldon asked.

Phil interrupted, "Yeah, down along 32nd street, whole bunch of pretty awful '50s ranches." Sheldon nodded in recognition. "Really called Martin Acres, but it's kind of a time warp. Not as much as Lafayette, though. Lafayette's even got a Tastee Freeze."

"Francie's your old girl friend," Ed said to Ned, checking the facts.

"Yeah. I knew we were in trouble, so I was sort of planning ahead."

"Didn't she suspect?" Ed asked.

"Well, she was suspicious, all right, but not of that. And I was squirreling away any cash or assets I could lay my hands on, too, because of that."

"How did that happen?" Rudy wanted to know. "I guess you didn't see trouble coming."

Ned was already without a shirt. He stood up and slipped off his shorts as he replied. "No. See, I grew up on the flatlands out south of Limon. Very conservative family; the whole town was like that. When I got away to UC Boulder, it was like moving to Sodom and Gomorrah. I had a ball for a long time, really got into grass and pussy. But when I settled down, as it were..."

"Weren't you out of state for a while?" Sheldon asked. He had already taken off his clothes.

"Yes, I was in Chicago and then in a town in western Massachusetts. Very different. I met a lot of people there I liked; I keep in touch with some of them. And I got to know some girls that made the homegrown variety seem pretty tame. But, in the end, I came back to my roots, I guess you'd say."

"Back to your roots, all right, but the tree was a little different, I'll bet," Ed said.

Ned looked at him, grinned. "Yeah. That's right. But you see, I hooked up almost right away with a Colorado girl — came from the Western Slope. That's pretty predictable. She's a nice girl; pretty, good in bed, liked a little grass now and then herself. I thought I really had it made." He peered into the mouth of the can in his hand. "I did, too, for a while."

"You told someone she thought you were screwing the high school girls," Rudy said.

"That's what she thought. I don't know why, really, cause it's never really entered my head," Ned replied.

"Bullshit, Ned." Sheldon said with a laugh. "I can't believe that."

Ned looked sheepish. "Oh, of course. You see one of those young babes when she's showing off her body, trying to figure out what it's for and, well,... I won't deny some of them are a real turn-on." He mused over his beer can a moment, then continued.

"I think the thing that started Francie off was when one of them came to the house for some reason on a Saturday. I'm pretty sure she was exploring her... well, call it her allure. But this pretty girl showed up wearing jeans that started a half-mile below her belly button and a top that was just a loose band over her breasts, hung on spaghetti straps. Talk about jail-bait! Francie didn't come down off the ceiling for days. That's when she started saying I had the hots for these girls. She was kidding at first, but she started looking around, saw how many of them do that, and she started taking it seriously."

"I suppose you told Francie the girl was only exploring her allure, right?" Sheldon grinned.

"Yeah, she didn't want me defending what she saw as a threat to her relationship — a challenge."

"So, after she left, you bought this place?" Ed asked. He reached to one side and added some sunscreen to his chest.

Ned seemed to relax a little, glad the question had deliberately skipped the process of Francie's departure. "Right. As I say, I looked for it a long time. Found it about a year after she left. Friend of mine showed me how to plant more hedges, feed what was here — all that. It's been a lot of work, but I love it."

"How'd you get into nudism, with your background?" Ed asked.

"Good question. When I was in high school, I used to see the nudie magazines. Ever see "Sunshine and Health"? It just spoke to me. I used to sneak off into the hills and take my clothes off — it felt so good I really wanted to try it seriously. Francie thought I was nuts, thought nudism was disgusting. Since I've been here, it's my way of life. And when I heard Dana talk about Cap d'Agde, I knew I'd met friends."

"You need to see it, Ned. It's wonderful." Ed said. "Just imagine getting up in the morning and going to the bakery for bread and croissants without getting dressed. You'll love it."

"So, Ed," Ned said, "How did you get into nudism? I mean, I know, because of Dana, but..."

"Guess it's my turn," Ed said, reaching for a beer, taking a drink. "I grew up a geek. I was happier with a bunch of wires, or my Lego set, than with anything else — except possibly my pecker. I guess I played with myself from the first time I found out it felt good."

"Just like everyone else," Ned said with a grin.

Ed agreed, "Yeah. But, being a geek, I wanted to show it to someone, run experiments with it. But, I'm an only child, so I couldn't."

"Where did you live?" Rudy asked.

"Outside of Austin," Ed said. "Nice place, and I did get outside a lot, when I wasn't tinkering. There was a girl next door, a year younger than me, and we used to walk off down the arroyos or along the river together. We'd go swimming a lot in the summer, just take off our clothes and go in the water."

"Wish I'd had a chance like that," Rudy said.

"Trouble is," Ed responded, "it never occurred to me to try and play with her, and she never gave me an opportunity, really." There were unbelieving noises. "See, I was ten and I'd read a book about sex, and so I thought I knew what it was all about. Didn't need to try it out. After all, I'd read the manual!" The others laughed, and he grinned ruefully. "By the time I woke up to reality and got other ideas, she'd moved away. But I sure did know that going without clothes is fun."

"What about high school? Didn't you have girl friends?" Sheldon asked.

"Sure. But they all belonged to the Union, you know," Ed grinned at Sheldon's expression. "You know, N.B.T.W.U. — the Not-Below-The-Waist Union. They had a closed shop; you couldn't be a girl unless you joined."

"Come on," Ned gibed.

"Well, the ones who didn't follow Union rules were O-U-T. And God help the guy who was seen with one of them. So, I got to college a virgin, not too smart about sex, even less so about girls. I learned about sex. At least, I lost my virginity, thank God, and got so I could at least talk to girls without getting hiccups. Then, I got a job offer and came to Boulder."

"End of story?" Sheldon asked. He stood up and stretched, looking upward.

"No, it was the beginning..."

"Look, there's a hawk!" Sheldon said, pointing.

"Lives in a tree up on the bluff," Ned said. "Good hunting around here."

Ed continued. "I wasn't here a week before I met Dana. She took me to bed immediately, taught me what sex is really about, and I began to learn what an amazing creature a woman is. We went out a lot for about a year, and she asked me, 'Don't you have any other girlfriends?' I said 'No', and she told me I was hopeless."

"What happened then?" Sheldon said.

"We talked about it for a week or two, and I convinced her I was totally hung up on her. She said, 'Never mind, let's live together anyway'. But she wouldn't hear anything about marriage. She told me, 'I won't marry any man who doesn't have experience'."

Sheldon grinned. "Well, at least now you qualify."

Ed chuckled. "Maybe. But I don't see changing anything that works so well. Maybe someday, if we have kids, a family. "

Ned waved his can in the air. "That's the word, Ed. No, I mean, family is the word I've been looking for." Ed gestured for Ned to continue. "It's what we have, what we're making, you see, a special kind of family that works for us. We help each other, we look out for each other. It's kind of unusual that we all sleep together, but I guess that's one of the special things about our family." The others nodded agreement.

Rudy poured himself a Coke. "I think you're right, Ned. Seems to have happened without anyone realizing it...

"It's my turn, I guess. I'm from back East: Pennsylvania. Grew up pretty much like you guys, I suppose, got abused by the Union in high school, straightened out in college a little, came to Boulder and went to work. Worked hard — I enjoy it, really, though I protest too much. But I wasn't really getting anywhere with women. The girls here aren't much different from those in the East; they're just as careful about who gets in their pants and at what price."